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capitan3
22nd August 2002, 04:07
I'll Guess I put Some More Intresting Stuff

Life's Mysteries

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Spiffed
22nd August 2002, 04:13
Originally posted by capitan3
What was the best thing before sliced bread?

the creation of the universe comes to mind, failing that, unsliced bread?

liquidmotion
22nd August 2002, 04:43
pamela and tommy lee sex video also comes to mind :)

Xerxes
22nd August 2002, 06:46
All smart-asses will be dealt with in their time...

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
The deeper concern is the reason the man is talking to himself alone in the forest...

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
No

Is there another word for synonym?
No

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Not as unnerving as Lawyers...

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
???

Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
Their Unabomber Cabin, Tijuanna, or Ibiza

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Most house cats don't have a refined palate to have a taste for anything, much less mice

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Let nature take it's course- if nature was so concerned about it she would do something.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
I would imagine it would be either handicapped or defective

Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
It is so people don't use them for illegal activity or abuse them i.e. homeless living in them.

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
Yes, provided there is someone to hear it. The stealth bomber is not perfectly silent when it flies, either. I've been present for a flyover and can verify that.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
I imagine that is because the skin the wool is attached on does not contract noticably

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
As long as they don't contain animals in the dough...

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
A person is always owed his miranda rights

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
And what if your blind passenger wanted money? What then?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
They cross anywhere they want- the yellow sign only indicates that they are in the locality

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Because they wouldn't want to prematurely inject someone with a small amount of the death chemical and cause the prisoner to die painfully

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
So they are not neutralized by a bullet/projectile en route to their target

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
No. What are you, some kinda wiseguy?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Probably unsliced bread. But as has been pointed out before, wheras you used to pay more for sliced bread, now it costs more to buy premium homestyle "unsliced bread" ...

Bilbo Baggins
22nd August 2002, 08:41
http://www.jainworld.com/literature/dictionary/picb.gif

All bow to Xerxes, Zen master of pointless arguing ;)

Xerxes
22nd August 2002, 08:48
What an interesting site- the illustrations are like classic indian illustration meets 50's schoolbook.

http://www.jainworld.com/literature/dictionary/pice.gif