Rap battles

[cmountford]

Rules:

1.) No use of edit button
2.) Use common sense:

on length: nobody wants to feel like they're reading a novel, so use good judgment.

There aren't many rules at this point, and I hope to keep it that way. Just follow rule # 2 and there won't be a need.

Note that I did not write these rules up until after a mistake I made that I realized was not fair to people; I edited after posting in the original thread that inspired the creation of this one.

I copied all the original material from the first thread below

----------------------------------------------------------------------

This first comment isn’t a battle, but it is referred to in a future reply

Originally posted by Coman
your avatar looks like a vagina

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by cmountford
Okay, it's on now, *boy*

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Start the battle, right here right now
better run away before you wonder how
you ended up facedown in the dirt
Took a long time to figure out you'd been hurt

now maybe you just a little slow in the head
but you don't got the brains to get this thread
took a long time to realize you'd been victimized
dissed by my rhymes that leave the crowds mystified

You're lagging behind no way for you to catch up
just go ahead and admit that you've had enough
go do some weed and get drunk
miss all the ladies because you smell like funk

**finish up before I eat you for lunch***

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Coman
you can make your little poems all you want
you're still gonna stay an annoying useless twerp
that you showing off as a little whining wuss
doesn't change the fact that your avatar is a puss

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by cmountford
Now as I was starting to say before
your looks make the ladies shut the door
but you don't care you think you're so cool
but the truth is, they think you're a fool

Now your attitude I gotta admit
is a little crude but can you handle this
Your rhymes put the rap game to shame
Your lines make me people feel ill and drained

And you think you're ahead of the game
but first let's get your name

Your name is Ugly...with a capital u
without style you're like a sky that's not blue
You can't dance but remember this
No romance for you but still you wish

You'll be lucky to get a ho to make out with you
Your looks make it hard for a girl to
make out without gagging in disgust
A breath mint for you is a must

Take a few tips from a pro
Learn how to rhyme
Get the style and the flow
And you might get a lady in time

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by BullGawD
Row, row, row, your boat
gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
life is but a dream. Bitch.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: I’m not sure if the following message quite is battle material (in terms of *rap* battling), but I’ll include it anyway

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ShyShy
[B]I'm a little sexpot, short and firm
Here are my boobies, here are my thighs
You can make me scream or you can make me shout
Just tip me over and *** me out.

:D

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Following message is reply to last post by BullGawD (note, at the time I made this post, I wasn’t thinking and I edited to fix a stupid mistake. After noticing BullGawD’s comment, I realized that it really wasn’t fair, so I decided to make it a rule to not allow edits. Guys…learn from me---no need to make stupid mistakes!

Originally posted by cmountford
You row your boat all day and all night
But you can't figure out why it takes such a fight
to make any progress in your little dream
But what you fail to realize is your boat's going *up* the stream

---------------------------------------------------------------------
following message is a comment by BullGawD I mentioned earlier:

Originally posted by BullGawD
you are correct sir. stream does rhyme with stream.
[edit aww, no fair. Innit agaist the rules tho? You stoled my rhymes babushka. [/edit]

I don't blame you though. You were obviously distracted by that steaming curve of sex posted just above you. :eek:

werd.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Next message is a comment after short post I made that said I fixed the mistake

Originally posted by BullGawD
Wut eva. Ain't no edit button in da hood, tortugito.

BTW - why's your vagina glowing with fire? :D

//ducks from ShyShy

No no! Not you! :p

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by cmountford
avatar=Lord of the Rings; (Sauron’s eye…you know)
Hey, so what if you never get the bling bling
I use diamonds instead of ice to cool my drink
but I'll have you on the floor before you can think

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Following message was originally separated by a few replies not related to rap or battling

Originally posted by cmountford
Okay, how's this:

In the hood 50 says his edit button stays hot
cause he uses it to cover up mistakes a lot
but time in the studio is cash in the hand
but you ain't nobody if you can't perform in a band

---------------------------------------------------------------------
That's the end of all the stuff from the original thread...

This battle is open to anyone and everyone who wants to participate, so don’t be shy :) The more people, the more fun it is

[Coman]

YAY, i started it :D

how old are you cmoun? are you black?

[BullGawD]

Whoa there Coman you done missed the point,
so reread the header and pass off that joint.
This thread's about rockin the rhymes that you weave
not about questions that ain't PC.
You started tha thing so get wit' de beat

Or you'll be beaten with trouts. Or written (http://www.tardblog.com/sa/20.htm) about.

Werd to the PM button dawg. :p

[that's it. I'm officially a fogey. :o ]

[cmountford]

17 I am but black I am not
I'm white, I rhyme and the ladies say I'm hot
No hidden agendas because what you see is what you got
When you lose sight of me you miss out on the plot

The story goes on with or without-can you hear me
17 years and counting is how old I be
Now listen to the story and listen swiftly
You fill in the blanks and live it out without missing

[Coman]

"TEACHER, EVAN'S HANDS WON'T TURN NOT BROWN."

[Daxie]

major dudes and dudettes is all i find
in these forums of winamp
wtf have i gotta do
to get there on top of it all dude

[Coman]

^ best one ^

cmoun pwnd

[ryan]

Please no more lame raps from you
Teenyboppers are all I see.. Talking about fast cars, money and 'bling bling'
So stop with all the lameness and shit, and rhyme about something that is less stupid, like this.

or.. yeah :D


Woooo I suck, and it's too early...

[eminemfan]

2 Trailer Park Cows Go Round Me Outside Round Me Outside,
Meat Is Back Back Again Guess Meat Is Back Tell A Freind,
I've Created A Sandwitch Cause No Body Want's To Be Hungry No More,
Now This Looks Like A Lunch For Me,
So Everybody Just Let Me Eat,
Cause I Nead A Pork Or Beef,
Cause I Feel So Empty Without Meat,
HA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA.

Without Meat

[ElChevelle]

This thread needs a lock
coz it sucks big cock
Like to throw it away
coz it's really, really gay
I'll step back now, watch the shit hit the fan
then step back in, in time to hand out a ban

Werd to your mutha

[randman]

Fuckin' grammar abusers.
Bunch of middle school losers.
Don't want to be white.
Check the mirror. See the light.
You whigger wannabe rappers.
Are all diaper crappers.
Learn how to wipe.
Drop the crack pipe.

[dlinkwit27]

my raps are fine.
i rap all the tyme.
my ras rock because they rhyme.
you buttox is mine.
my shoes really shine.that female is very fine.

HOLLA!


(they call me wonder bread cause i'm so white, ya hurr (hear)?)

:rolleyes:

[Mike H.]

Y'all don't know how to rhyme.
You don't even take the time.
You know you ain't got nothin'
So you hit the edit button.

[ElChevelle]

You punkasses wanna be cool
while you should be in school
because like the Randster said
your grammar's fucked in the head
If you want to get rid of this poo
try something real like haiku.

[Daxie]

all you hoes do is bicker
if only you were a little tougher
you could rap all ya want you dimwits
not bein' able to top this shit
deep down you know who i am
wake up you muderfeckers i am you Uncle Sam

[ryan]

Haikus are cool
Too bad I don't know the rules
How many words? how many lines?
Look at me, I can't even rhyme
Stopping right now would be cool
I'd look like less of a fool

:D

[cmountford]

Chev you need to take it down a notch
calm down, take a breath, sit back and watch
you're setting a bad example corrupting the rhyme
is this too much for you to handle, or should I say it another time

You in the rap game is an unthinkable crime
For all the junk you write there should be a fine
You're a bad influence go back to the recycle bin
Listening to you rhyme is a painful way for life to end

Bullgawd rhymes are so far ahead of you
he doesn't babble about random stuff like major dudes
daxdax, you must be seeing double
or something like that because you're in trouble

Your raps don't even rhyme
they're a waste of people's time
but you have a good deal of potential
unlike some others who lack the essentials

like randman with rhymes so lame
is rapping and crapping to you the same?
Maybe that's why you are so bad in this game
your rhymes are torture enough to drive anyone insane

You got a point but you don't have a cause
diaper heads like you should be outlawed
Now eminemfan's got some taste
and his rhymes are an efficient use of space

Take a lesson from the masters-don't babble or corrupt
If you can't contribute, you might as well give up
Don't let your awful rhymes smell up the whole room
Go somewhere else with your stench like week old rotten food

[Germ]

Originally posted by Coman
YAY, i started it :D

how old are you cmoun? are you black?

Are you black?
What kind of crap is that?
Some kind of racist plaque
Put on the wall
To propagate the hate
To an extremity
My niggity.

Yeah and in regular language, Why would you assume he's black by starting a rap thread?

[randman]

Originally posted by cmountford
is rapping and crapping to you the same?


Crapping is more of a pleasure. :p

[Coman]

uhh.. because from people i met, black (african american) people usually rap more and better than white people (or other races) in general, duh..

[cmountford]

Germ are you trying to infect us all?
you're spreading the disease of hate up and down the hall
It's a common stereotype-what comen said
but I take it as a compliment instead

You sound pretty hateful yourself
I think you're the one who needs the help
Enough said about sterotypes and race
I think I've made it clear the color of my face

[Daxie]

you are here to battle
not to crib about race
one more word outta you guyz
and i will break you fuckin' face

howz that??? cmountford???

[cmountford]

It was alright.
you're improving all the time
a little more work and you'll be a master of rhyme

[ElChevelle]

This rap battle crap may not be a sin
but racist threads belong in the recycle bin:p

[Coman]

dammit germ

[Psythik]

I'm so sick of people being hated because their black,
Why does it matter the color on my back?
Com'on people, this racism thing is whack.
Having a different skin color shouldn't affect one's ability
to be able to enjoy living in a humble society
and to be able to be treated politely,
And when you're putting down that one guy,
don't expect from him a friendly reply,
you may even end up kissing your ass goodbye.


^Not bad, considering I've never rapped in my life, eh?

[S-uper_T-oast]

Black purple gray green blue
i dont care as long as your new
a fresh face to keep me away from my disgrace
sitting around watching the pace
as a few people run around blue in the face
it makes me cry to think what asses they are
it makes me cry to think that they will go so far
this world is fucked up its true
but when you try to change it what can you do
it all started back then in 1492
when chrisy c sailed the ocean blue
he ruined it for me then
so what can i do?
rebel against everything i held as true?
get shot down
pushed around
kicked in the ass?
whats the point just to end up feeling like trash
life is terrible there is nothing to do
but accept it and hope you get through
life isnt measured in money you make
but in the quality of every second you take

word iceeeeeeee momma

[cmountford]

I hate to add a new rule, but because an issue has come up, I feel it must be addressed. Everything I say in a battle I mean in a good natured way---I just wanted to make sure we were clear on that---I greatly admire most of the people I target in battles; and I try to make that clear.

For the record-
New rule (part of rule # 2): No remarks that show a distinct lack of creativity and are openly hateful. No references like the one ElChevelle made about something being gay (whether taken literally as a crude remark regarding homosexuals or not, there were still plenty of other parts that were hateful, and I think it demonstrated a lack of creativity by not being able to find another way to say that.)

Please be civil...please???

[Daxie]

i have seen that thread and it really ain't fair this is happening

[k_rock923]

hey i have to say
i think rap is gay
rocker till i die
no point in getting high
rap, drugs, it fucks up your life
ain't never getting no wife
if you like to rhyme
listen to me rock in time
i think you will find
that rockers beat up the rap kind
whites that think they're black
think its cool to smoke crack
just remeber one thing
when you talk about bling bling

CAN'T SPELL CRAP WITHOUT RAP!!!!!!!!!

[Germ]

Damnit Germ! DARNIT!!!

[Coman]

i think you wanted this to end up here in the first place (hence your comment).

[S-uper_T-oast]

When i see these people hatin
i want to join in the flame baiting
but i hold myself up higher
to try and keep out of the fire
i say it real and i say it true
techno is the only thing thats new
its fresh its hot
its everything your music is not
its got style its got beats
its got the shit that moves my feet
the music in my mind
it makes me feel so sublime
the sounds go straight to my brain
its the only thing that keeps me sane
cause this world aint got shit to give
and without techno there no reason to live
then those bitches who still be hatin
think techno aint nothing but stating
u a extacy poping fool
sitting around thinking you cool
cause you hit up 6 pills
but now u going through the drills
the shits catching up to u now
u really starting 2 feel it now
your eyes roll back and your knees get weak
your hearts racing, same thing it been doing all week
you crash down on the ground
nothing around u but an endless sound
the shits over now your numbers up
you fucked up this time, no chance to make up
if you think hard enough you will know who this is for
but its kinda pointless cause they cant read shit no more

[Germ]

Techno is not hot
It's cold as a frozen tater tot
It's just gay
Hey hey.

[ElChevelle]

You got to hip hop a hippity hop
my great posts ain't never gonna stop
got no time for MTV, better off catchin an STD
What use to be grand, what used to be great
Is now chock full of fools spewin their hate.
Use to be able to watch Chuck D
now it's da Tupac clones on MTV
Make it stop and jus go away
we need better and brighter days!

[hgnis]

I be watching from da side
Lookins at you hoes get wild
All I gotta say on dis day
Is you bitches should be violated every day.

[cmountford]

Good job, guys. I'm stepping back for a while, but I'll still be watching. Good job, Chev---nice rhymes. Everyone: Nice work. I'm just taking a short little break (I take a lot of those...nothing new) from battling. I got a performance coming up (live, so I need to spend a little time getting ready for that (biggest audience I've ever had...number of people should be around 400-700). Getting ready for those takes a lot of times. Rap IQ of this thread has gone way up, so (again) good job guys!

[S-uper_T-oast]

Violation is nothing but the mental station
that happens when your brain suffers from too much condensation
as the sweat drips on your forehead
the crowd stares making you wish you was dead
its all because your rhymes are like a half killed cat
squeling away like an e-flat
to make your words into a potion
you have to understand the notion
that your words are the only way
to make you live or die that day
you have to be quick you have to be fast
or else youll wind up with a bullet up your ass
your tounge has to paint the picture
you might have the colors but you dont have the mixture

[Fickle]

This is bullshit
My brain ain't in it.
I try to read the rymes
but bitch I aint got the time
To sit and read and spell and shit
Makes a dude just up and fuckin quit.

You spell out your rymes
like it's somethin neat
but they're all the kind
I care to defeat
Cause
this shit is whack
I'm on the attack
your poetic crap
Is lost on the flap
of skinny white boys
who sell no crack
But will cook smack.
And hide from the flak.
Cause I'm done playing, little fool
I'm here to tell you that you're a tool
Killing your rymes like it's somethin ill
I'll cramm you down till you get your fill.
I can write this shit all day long
Cause I'm king of hill, king of the bong
Some poets read,
some poets write,
but they all laugh
at your trifling shiz-nite.

[ryan]

This thread needs to be locked, closed, goobye
Chev if you do it, I'll give you a pie

[cmountford]

I hope you don't mean that seriously
If you do your reputation is history
I'm still on my break but I can't stand
when people don't think what they demand

I'm still on my break though I dropped in for a line
Follow the rules and you won't get dissed by mine
missed the point, you missed the rhyme
You even missed it when someone told you the time

It's time for you to stop griping if you can't take
Or comprehend how your words sound utterly fake
Saying this should be locked is like saying you're dead
It makes people think you're a little ill in the head

All our rhymes are in good fun
we all enjoy a good run
in a race but not to see who's first
So back off the thread if you don't want to be in a hearse

[ElChevelle]

Originally posted by idiot
This thread needs to be locked, closed, goobye
Chev if you do it, I'll give you a pie

I cannot lock it, I cannot close it
This much I can't deny
I kinda like it, I can't lock it
not even for a pie:p

[Fickle]

I'm only foolin
so don't fuckin trip
I'm just teasin you
I try to be hip
My rymes aint real
cause I don't care
If you think I'm flaming
you'd better beware.
If I was flaming
Than I'm the queen
of all that shit
thats considered obscene.
Drinking 40's, pimpin hoes
its about as interestin
as blowin my nose.
If I wanted to flame
your ass'd be cooked
but lucky for you
I'd rather be snooked:
smoking the grass
Kickin some ass
Drinkin Nat Ice
Tastes like shit
but makes you feel nice.
So best step off,
my little bro
Cause if you want to get dirty
I'll go toe to toe
with your pimps and hoes
Blood from your nose
Long from lying
like a rubber hose.
Writing raps don't take no skill
Cause when I get busy
the air gets ill.
I aint got no style, I aint got no grace
I use old lyrics
I spit'em out in your face.
I ain't burnin down houses
I ain't training mouses
I look at the couches
fall on my ass and say ouches.
This shits silly, my brain must revolt
I think Ill just go out and grab a colt
45.

Peace out mah brothah. werd is born.

[horse-fly]

i don't rap

[Coman]

you must feel like crap

[horse-fly]

ah.. rhyming with me is a bad idea when the last word is orange

[cmountford]

if you had a cold and you wanted to rhyme with orange
you could try to say courage and have it come out courange
--------------------------------------------------------------------
lol! A more serious tip: If the word orange is essential to the message, then change the order of the line so it doesn't *end* with orange.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Horse-fly here says he can't rap but I beg to differ
Horse-fly could say "yo yo, I go by horsefly but everyone says I'm a fly guy...
my rhymes may be bad but I got the mike
hey you got a problem with that, let's fight

I may be trash
rhymes don't sound like rap
But I enjoy a good battle
because I can hit you upside the head with a paddle"

And I'm the one on stage so back off me
Or else I'm like, Hey-security!
Take this guy away right away
Tape his mouth before he gets a say

He shouldn't even have a voice
When he challenged me he lost that choice
So lock him up and make him listen to his own rhymes
That's the worst punishment anyone could find"

[horse-fly]

i still don't rap

[cmountford]

You say you still don't rap...but you have such a great name. So what do you think of Bad Blitzer Slam (or bad blitz slam) as a name for me? It's hard coming up with a decent name because I'll have to live with it for a while (I'm not necessarily looking at a career, but at least while I'm in high school and maybe college).

[Daxie]

hey cmount how'd you show go???

[cmountford]

haven't had it yet. It's not until the 25th. Until today I thought it was the 15th. I'm still putting together a special shout-out mix for post-song stuff (like this one fan has a birthday...oh crap! I'll have to see if her birthday is on the 25th or 15th.) Get back with you on that one. Thanks for asking though. What do you think of a name? I've come up with several ideas, and I'm not sure about any of them (I only posted 1 & 1/2 here (well, the blitzer versus blitz hardly counts)).

[Daxie]

how bout da sleek rappuh???

[horse-fly]

well... i don't want to rap!

[Fickle]

Originally posted by cmountford
haven't had it yet. It's not until the 25th. Until today I thought it was the 15th. I'm still putting together a special shout-out mix for post-song stuff (like this one fan has a birthday...oh crap! I'll have to see if her birthday is on the 25th or 15th.) Get back with you on that one. Thanks for asking though. What do you think of a name? I've come up with several ideas, and I'm not sure about any of them (I only posted 1 & 1/2 here (well, the blitzer versus blitz hardly counts)).

The Mountee. Or, if you prefer, the mounter.

[cmountford]

Any other ideas? What do you think of the first ideas I posted (bad blitzer slam)?

Thanks.

Please feel free to post rhymes...anybody and everybody.

[cmountford]

oh, sorry for bump...what about Bad Mount Slam as another idea for a name?

More rhymes welcome. Nice work, everyone (rhymes posted).

[cmountford]

okay, forget names for a while. I'm also open to having people alternate in like a team effort (I think you know what I'm talking about.) Or we could form teams and battle teams. Other suggestions are welcome.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
So no special treatment for me or so I'm told
By a nameless individual whose personality is very cold
He likes throwing his weight around as a mod
I hate to think what it's like to be told he has a horrible bod

He's too cool to come here and battle me
He likes closing threads where there is no need
I'd like to have him come in and drop a line
And hear that little fool whine

He can't handle it to take the responsibility
of his actions I hope he can blame a disability
He comes into threads and shuts them down
He's imagining a flame war but his mind done checked out of town

a long time ago he was coherent
his breath was as refreshing as spearmint
but lately he's been messing in business that isn't his
Closing threads in fear that someone might get this

He's hearing voices in his head
so he comes in and closes each thread
when his voices tell him a flame war is imminent
he doesn't realize he's the one who's in the middle of it

He started it, he can't distinguish this
He set himself on fire, but he can't extinguish it
I wish I could ask to have a word with him
About his closing threads when it fits his whim

So I dare him to come in and bust a rhyme
And see who gets busted this time
Someone's gonna get hurt, someone's gonna cry
But I won't be the one running to momma to hear me whine

[Daxie]

just when you think the worst has passed
there i am in your face
like i have no past
you could tell me to fuck off
or even bump me off
but you will always know in the back of your mind
no matter where you go i will find
you can run and you can hide
but you can never escape the wrath from my side

[cmountford]

and I'll take the time
to instruct people in the basics of rhyme
together we'll take on all of them
and regroup to start it all over again

Hey where did you come from and where are you going
You came from my mind and you're going down the drain
Not you daxdax but someone who's not in this game
He's the one I referred to but he's been underdoing

Who knows what he's been through
who even cares, I ask you who
because nobody has the answer, not even himself
I got a hunch he needs some mental help

But he'd never take it
He'd rather not face it
He likes living in a fantasy
He never faces reality

[Daxie]

guess that's how some people are
on their way to hell
hey maybe this might ring a bell
can i keep your car??

dissing ain't easy
if you think you're up to it
c'mon let's see the shit
at the cost of you sounding cheesy

i could tell you to change your ways
but looks like you're outta that phase
trust me my friend
i am really sorry bout your demise

[cmountford]

Now daxdax isn't talking about me-you see
He's talking about a mod who hates me
He isn't chev-he's nowhere near that cool
He makes me sick when he acts such a fool

He likes changing his name-I think in hopes it will change him
He's unhappy with himself, but the solution must come from within
Who can blame him when he throws his weight around
Thanks to him, lots of perfectly fine threads are shut down

He shouldn't play with matches and gasoline-it's true
So why does he have to always be so rude
He sets himself on fire, then yells "flame war"
it's quite ironic that he's gotten in too far

He makes me laugh at stuff that isn't funny
But he doesn't care because he thinks he's "on the money"
Like the time he tried to start a fire and burned down the woods
Or the time when he tried jump starting his car by jumping on the hood

Yeah, that's the sort of stuff I'd never think to do
The world wouldn't be the same without...who?
He's a mod, rhymes like you, but Chev he is not
Chev's way too cool to be such a snob

He shuts down threads like he shuts down his mind
I warmly welcome him to come and drop a line
He's probably cool if he'd just come out of his shell
But until he does, who can tell?

[Mike H.]

Hmm. I only know one mod who has changed his name.

[iomegajaz]

cmountford: I'm going to hurt you, little man. I was quite happy to let this thread go on, but apparently me being impartial isn't good enough for you. I can paste my and your PMs here, if you'd like. Let me know.

I've reconsidered, and have kept this thread open. cmountford: I"m not sure exactly what your problem is, other than you being a teenager and older people don't understand you, which makes you special because that's never happened to a teenager before. What exactly did I, or another name-changing mod, do to offend you so?

:yawn: come on, hurry up.. I'm falling asleep here, bro. Word.

[iomegajaz]

rapping battles huh?
looks too easy, not much skill
try to write haiku

Chevy: Do it. You know you want to. =DDDD

[cmountford]

come on, hugh be a good sport
because I was just kidding around for support
what goes on in here is all in good fun
don't take it too seriously---that's a pun

come on have a laugh with the rest of us
because we all like suggestions enough
what problem I had with you is now all clear
the nature of a battle eliminated it now hear

you're cool like Chev as it turns out
but that's what happens and what my battles are about
although not quite a battle, you made your point
so it's all good now---just don't get out of joint

[cmountford]

Originally posted by Hugh
rapping battles huh?
looks too easy, not much skill
try to write haiku

Chevy: Do it. You know you want to. =DDDD

---------------------------
Good job, hugh! This message is a way to not edit my last rap (I didn't see your most recent post until after I wrote mine). Your skill has warranted you being named a "cool member" of rap battles thread. :) That's the spirit! The spirit of the battle, of course!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

little skill required because in here it's all good
haiku is cool for poetic a fool
like me--I try it every once in a while
But I return to rap because without I'd be senile

It's critical as air for me to survive
It's what makes me feel alive
You got the rap, you got the rhyme
you proved you're cool by dropping a line

[whatsitsname]

all you people suck at trying to be cool
with all your little rap games that are old school
wake up and smell the air
the worlds changed and tired of being fair
to all the people that do this rap
societys change and doesnt acceppt this crap
------------------
was that good for newbie to rap?

[cmountford]

(whatsitsname, I'm just gonna call you witname...w(hats)it(s)name). witname is much easier to use as a rap name...try rapping out loud with your full name and you'll see what I mean)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Sure I miss Hugh I wish he'd drop one more line
But I'm always happy when someone new busts a rhyme
witname you got a lot of wit not to mention the skill
who cars if you're new to rap if you can go for the kill
when I was new to rhyme your raps would put me to shame
Your first rap would have put mine to shame
We all start somewhere-but you're starting ahead of me
so I'd say you're good and you've got the skill to be
the master of the rhyme-the buster of the beats
When people get near you-they smell their own defeat
When they see you they run the other way
because they know they can't win no matter what they say

Spread the word around, rap battles is the place
the school for all in this rap game in your face
we're open to people experienced and new to the mike
because we all learn a lot from making rhymes so tight
Come in with an open mind and willing to learn
and soon you'll see the respect you will earn

Even if you think you're bad, just give it a try
We won't jump on you unless you give us a good reason why
If you're new to rap, we won't jump all over you
We know how to recognize and help you if you're new
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: If you're new to rap and/or realize your rhyme skills need improvement, just say so at the beginning and ask for suggestions on how to improve. If you want to battle someone, be sure it's clear who you want to battle, and then just make up some stuff about them that makes them sound bad. If you challenge someone to a battle but want constructive criticism as well as the person you're battling going easy on you---just say so

Thanks, guess that's all for now
------------------------------
W00t! I got a performance 11-25!

[cmountford]

arrghh...made a stupid mistake because I'm sleepy. I'm sure you'll see what it is. I guess you could change the one line to "your first rap made mine sound pretty lame"

[MidnightViper88]

Twinkle twinkle little star
Suck on this, bitch

God, I'm tired and bored... :rolleyes: :p

[cmountford]

here's a short audio clip of the crowd noise at the beginning of my performance

[edit]: I might mention that I was wrapping up some last minute details with some fans who were going to dance with me up until the last minute (they decided not to) at the beginning of the audio...so the initial noise was just from people who heard my name called but hadn't seen me yet. When it gets loud is when I walk on. ;)

Too bad I don't have a website (but given I have no income, I have no interest in paying for a website, no matter how cheap they are)

[cmountford]

Actually, now I do sort of have a website...SWWWEEEETTTT!!!!!!!! And I have 100 MB web space!

You can download a fairly highly compressed version of the performance at http://e.1asphost.com/sharkdarapper/late nite rap normalized.ogg

The sound system sorta sucked, and the mic pickup on the video camera I obtained the audio from left a lot more to be desired. It was in a big gym, so there's a big echo, and a bigger sound system would have been nice.

If you listen closely, at about 1:34, you might be able to hear a certain group of girls chanting "go go go..."

[Cognition]

Saw a link to this thread in a sig today
And suspected the content would be rather gay
But now I've read it it seems okay
Some of the posts are even quite funneh
So I might as well have my own little say
Before I log off and be on my way

Though in competition I'd never win
I've posted and got my two cents in
I suppose you could call this post pumpin'
If it wasn't in the Recycle Bin.

[cmountford]

So I decided to bring the old monster back to life
rap battles has come back to attack like a knife
you can't make it go away because it's part of us all
come on in rap battles is better than the mall

Post your rhymes freely I really don't bite
I don't care about your age or height
If you think it can go away you'd better think again
This battle isn't about who loses or if you win

it's not a contest it's just us messing around
hey come in there's lots of fun to be found
if you're new all the more reason to post
new people have every right to boast
Who wants to start the toast?

[Coman]

where are you from cmoun?

[cmountford]

oklahoma and I'd like to know about you
what you do just sit around like a foo
what you got to do where you live
Just sit around and write whack lines like this

My guess is you can't have a lot to do
you're really board so you decide to
Act like a fool bust a rhyme
didn't realize you'd be busted by mine

What's this about Coman being a punk
You know punks have BO that smalls like funk
But that's okay if you don't mind living by yourself
But I'd rather use some ill rhymes get a girl and some help

But that's your choice so what can I say
That's my voice because I do it my way
My way is the best way around
Says me, with both feet on the ground

try & knock me down I bounce right up again
hit you in the face then you hate me with my Benz
messing with me meant you met the ends
Of a live wire and it hurt you say I'm dangerous when

anytime I come around you know I be
dangerous standing under a tree
during a lightning strike do you understand me
You hair's a mess, your heart's racing
From the energy of my rhymes defacing
you, your family even your dog can't stop pacing

You can't make me stop
But I must go on
You can't stop the clock
but the clock's time is wrong
Stop it, reset it, then we might get along

[Coman]

hey! i just did my hair
it looks good all waving in the air
and i dont have a dog
i'll stick up your motherfucking ass a log
but this time you're not gonna like it
like when you enjoyed riding your bicycle without a seat
just admit to it

i stop and reset the clock, but there is no sense
i know something that can rap better than you - my left sock
and i haven't washed it for 3 days
still not amazed?
you ain't gonna convince me with your little plays
at the end all you are in real life is a bum
you're nothing without cowardly using rhymezone.com
and your cyber online girlfriend
you never seen in your life
with a name xxxseksigirlwithatan
but at the end of that line
is your mom's man

now i'm not the one to make fun of family's issues
but it looks like you gonna need to use some tissues

[cmountford]

about needing tissues you're only half right
but don't start something unless you're not afraid to fight
I'm terrifying anywhere day or night
Worst is meeting me in a dark secluded place
Because that's when you'll realize what it means to face
All of your fears-through all of your tears
Many years gone by so make sure everybody hears
about all the times you spent alone and in fear
Dreading a return visit from me to remind you who's best
You dispute that I'll bust 20 caps in your chest
before you can blink, much less take a breath
Not a chance to call out or even grab for your clip
You'll be on the ground before you can say lil flip
when I get through with you you'll wish you had died
now all you can think of is finding a place to hide
Too late for that because you started something with me
Your blood runs cold, you realize your defeat
Too bad you couldn't realize early on I had you beat

Now that it's too late, you can only think back
About how you shouldn't have started something whack
Now you'll be needing those tissues you mentioned before
because now your face is bloody, ripped up, slammed in a car door
Not much worse now, didn't have half a face to score
Your face was about as ugly, but now it's much worse
Now I'm through writing rhymes so why don't you all disperse
I've dropped my lines, go home like you should
Or else you'll be wishing that I would stop so you could
Better give up now, and save your reputation
just remember, I'm the exterminator who takes care of an infestation
you're a pest to be dealt with just stop while you're ahead
Or else you'll soon find yourself left for dead

[Coman]

cant beat me im from north carolina
there is no place here for lil school girls from china
so you better leave now big red vagina
yeah, you heard me, i said school
watch you gonna do 'bout that fool
im maybe beaten up, but im still standing
you're laying face down and begging for saving
your useless wasted unknown to anyone life
nothing in this world would change if you'd die
sad, but true
but you dont even have a clue
your ignorance distracts your mind
you're blind from truth that's outside your find
and you deny that nobody likes your kind
but from the start your words only decline
i hereby declare your resign
you're done, you're spent
your heartbeat's gone
accept

[protegechris]

(Directed at my psychologist)

UH, yeah, yeah, uh, uh, yo,yoyoyo, yo, uh , yeah, yoyoyo
(eh hem)

Shrink shrink , blinkety blink, try to make me think. Make me wanna go ta my sink and vomit, clean it up with comet. Earth is my pl-ah-net


Yo, you be diggin up in hurr?

[Coman]

You know I - thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em
Cause I don't fuckin need em
Take em out the hood, keep em lookin good
But I don't fuckin feed em
First time they fuss I'm breezin
Talkin bout, "What's the reasons?"
I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch
Better trust than believe em
In the cut where I keep em
til I need a nut, til I need to beat the guts
Then it's, beep beep and I'm pickin em up
Let em play with the dick in the truck
Many chicks wanna put Jigga fist in cuffs
Divorce him and split his bucks

[protegechris]

yo,yoyo, im...ima gangster, where my dogs at?
bark with me if ur my dog.
yo yo yo, im going, im gonna give a shout out to all the player haters. if ur a player hater, don't pla...player hate on me. im..ima gangster.... im straight up.

grrr, i'm steaming mad. grrr.

ima gangster, ima a straight up G.
the gangster life is the life for me.

Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night.
being a gangster is HELLA tight.

i walk around town with a stark erection.
then gave ur mom a yeast infection.

i saw a policeman, and i punched him in the eye.
to serve and protect, wut a lie!

i also dont like white people, u shouldn't too.
and dont get me started about the jews.

ima gangster, grrr, im mad
ima gangster, my rhymes are bad.

ima gangster, i'm iced out like a freezer.
ima gangster, i dont listen to weezer.

i dropped outta skool at the age of 3. Why?
cuz all the teachers tried to player hate on me. Oh.

my rhymes r kool, jus like doing cocaine.
my rhymes r hot, like a burning flame.

sisqo is my homie, hez a gangster too.
me and sisqo are the leaders of the gangster crew.

i like to be in jail, he likes to sing and dance.
sum say were the perfect match.

step off...
step bak.....
step awaaay....
step back....
dont..dont step forward..
bak!....
dont step forwards step backwards...
backwards...
dont step to me...
DO NOT STEP TO MEEEEEEEEE...EEEE...

im givin a shoutout to all ma homiez in cell block 8.
being in jail sux cuz u always have to masturbate.

except wen a jewish person goes to jail all my homiez cheer.
they will make mince-meat out of hiz rear.

ben peddy helped me make the gangster beat to this song.
i shot him in the face cuz he looked at me wrong.

ima gangster, i drop bombs like hiroshima.
ima gangster, bitch suck on my weiner.

ima gangster, i drive a kool car.
ima gangster, i smoke weed in a cigar.

yo! my gangster flow.
yo!yoyoyo.

im rolling on dubz, iced out like hockey.
i got got kicked outta Japan for drinking all da saki.

fuck a bitch, gimme head hoe.
wuts up to my dogs, yoyoyo.

they play this song on the radio all day long,
so everyone can hear my gangster song.

nobody thought i'd blow up like a firestone tire-
oh, theres no beat left...

(takes out a gun)

die! die u old Santa Claus, die!

[protegechris]

Originally posted by Coman
You know I - thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em
Cause I don't fuckin need em
Take em out the hood, keep em lookin good
But I don't fuckin feed em
First time they fuss I'm breezin
Talkin bout, "What's the reasons?"
I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch
Better trust than believe em
In the cut where I keep em
til I need a nut, til I need to beat the guts
Then it's, beep beep and I'm pickin em up
Let em play with the dick in the truck
Many chicks wanna put Jigga fist in cuffs
Divorce him and split his bucks

didnt dr. dre say that?

[Dark Ninja]

i`m feared they call me Dar Kuma
i get in ya head like a cancerous tumour
they say everthin revolves around them bitches
then at night i tie em up an set fire to them witches
cause they all fucked up on crack
so it aint just me that thinks they all are whack
all runnin around an dissin people
i`l hang you right up there on the church fuckin steeple
maybe god`ll be good and grant you a chance
but i`ll just remember you lyin in the earth covered in ants
thats where you belong you retarded fuck
you danced with a juggalo an ran out of luck

just somethin relevant to me over the last couple of days

the next one is valentine rap i wrote on the fly a few days before the day

Valentines day has come back round,
an i got this poem that some dark magic ninja found,
it`s all for you an straight from the heart,
so you better be readin this shit so don`t fuckin start,
an i don`t care if ya don`t like it an shit,
cause most of it i`m writin is just plain bullshit
gettin whack with these rhymes that i`m spittin,
raising the hatchet i got while your head is fuckin splittin,

i aint got chocolate,a card or nuthin,
tried beggin in the street with my fuckin crack tin,
only got 10 bucks which was totally whack,
then bumped into my dealer an spent it on more crack,
now i`m buzzin an goin at a thousand miles an hour,
reppin all this bullshit you know i got juggalo power,
gettin wickid an wild like vioent J from icp,
i`m here bitch,LOOK AT ME! (ECHOED)

FUCK,it aint you i`m goin in the wrong direction,
it was a cheap ass hoe lookin for some action,
now i gotta walk right accross this shitty town
to find someone esle whose down wit tha clown
gettin run over an yelled at by these muthafuckers
i jacked a car fom a wannabe gangster
when i fianally turn up after losing the heat
i give ya a box of chocolates i found under the seat

[cmountford]

been gone too long to bust fighting lines
come back see rule breaking so it's about time
dark ninja read up on your history first
read the rules, go oldschool, bust new flows just don't make me bust your face
no use of edit button clearly stated in the rules
I'm head of this, so I can say w/e I want you fools
don't give me that, ya wanna take that back?
don't even bring it up, just one ugly duck
ya get the point, ya be ugly dumb *nuts*

Sir SpamALot, get slapped a lot
your raps are shot
bout as well as a blind person on weed
you can't shoot straight are you listening to me
you can't rap any better than you can grrrr like a dog
wtf is up with that, you better bark like a hog
squeal like a twig, your raps too small you sound like a pig
ya that's you all right you better not fight
rap like a butterfly, and sing like a flea
pick up a fight with me, and you gotta learn how to plead
enough crap like hating jews and your little pissy fit about race
diss me ya better be ready to be slapped in the face
or blasted away, a pitiful disgrace, you must embrace
the fact you can't keep up this race
your rhymes aren't worth anybody's time
they hardly rhyme, grrrr ain't a rap word it's more like a disaster
like you, when you try to rap
power plant overloaded, you think you're loaded
but in your wallet there's just a wrinkled little one
chernobyl disaster when you tried to rap, son
nuclear meltdown, not cool, you're burning up
not like a hot rapper, more like just a bunch of trash to burn
re-read the whole rap battles thread, I see you've got a lot to learn
mess with the master get blasted faster
my rhymes outlast yours
reading your rhymes first time they look pretty lame
re-read some of mine people's lives are changed
mine make a difference, yours just get worse and worse
do the world a favor don't write another verse

[cmountford]

just busted in to say I love you to a girl by the name of CQ
Don't even think bout making fun or I'll beat you
be back and I'll never leave you alone
see CQ is the girl who loves me so much I know
She likes my rap, and she's reading this ya see
so just settle back and let us be
Cath + me=happiness, simple math
no algebra required
After a long day talking to her, like I'm no longer tired
wanna spend the rest of my life with her
we love each other, so much is sure
and like a diamond, there's nothing stronger
intense heat deep under the earth
so that's the reason I wrote this verse.

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!

[protegechris]

yall just set a bomb
you just ignited an old thread
get back to the whorehouse, and givethem some head

[cmountford]

you got that right, this thread will never die
it lives and breathes just like the rest of us
been through flames and came out unscathed
A certain mod if ya reread tried to hate
haha can't stop laughing at that whole tirade
Rap battles I started it, been burning constantly since the beginning
I am "The Rapper," battle master, father of rap battles
haven't had to bring out the paddles
in quite a while but I'm itching for another big fight
yeah you heard me, ya got that right
been chewed up, spit out, and came out on top
rap battles, living on whether I'm posting or not
months can go by without me showing my face
but rap battles has clearly made its place
now if ya wanna get in just read the rules and start flowing
the more aggressive your lyrical terroristictactics
the more I get crazy with my rhyming antics
and who says I'm the only one who replies to a battle
step up declare yourself and say you'll slap me w/ a paddle

[Coman]

Originally posted by cmountford
Cath + me=happiness
wanna spend the rest of my life with her
we love each other, so much is sure
and like a diamond, there's nothing stronger
HAHAHA.. so i was right, you are a pussy :D

[Dark Ninja]

uhh...yeah,i edited cause i thought it was pointless puttin up a double post
so ya see no rules we are breakin i`m jus makin the most,
so get off my back dawg an give me some credit
these wicked ryhmes are flowin so let me shred it,

[CaboWaboAddict]

Fuck dis,
I gotta piss!

[cmountford]

coman you're just a wuss
ya don't know the difference between a cat and a puss
last one you seen was your mom's
none for you when you go to prom
haha I'm insane a maniac,
oh I can't wonder what you would say to that
useless little comments stuck in random places
like random stuff you use to get you to make happy faces
naw happy faces I'll slap ya bases
you just get pleasure from people sticking stuff in you in random places
haha ya heard about it, coman's tried it
kissing fish haha he's never minding
his own business just stickin in comments that don't fit
only rhymes if he's about to get hit
to avoid a conflict

scared of a fight
scared of his right
to freedom to rhyme
freedom to die
freedom to come in and risk his battle lines
he's not a battle head
he's a straddle head

haha yeah he gets thrills from the chills of the pain from his game

oh and double posting ninjas aren't in ya
because they should know better than that
if ya reread these speeches ya'd learn that it's alright
ya see ya, ma was posting behind your back
and I'm reading what goes down so don't even try to skip a track
don't make up excuses for what can't be undone
ya see ninjas give ya killer battle moves but no lines
battle lines are what get ya ahead in this crazy rhyme
you writing sad lines should be against the law
law breaking fools making get locked up and it's no fun

[Coman]

if you can't understand the meanings of my words
can't comprehend the deepness of my thoughts
that's not my problems dear "puss"
should've paid more attention in schools
don't come here with your dangerously low iq
and act like you're all hip and shit like you do
nobody wants to hear your 8-years-old boy's wits
"oh i'm so popular and girls go crazy when i do the splits!"
"i got a girlfriend but i know i'm gay inside"
you can just tell it by your lines you lied
a virgin now, and you gonna die a virgin too
'cause the only thing you'll penetrate in your life
is a male's nasty hairy butt or two

what are you trying to prove with this thread and strife
go out man, get a life

[?uestion]

What in the name of fuck is this shit??!? We got some wannabe Slim Shady who comes off more like a Vanilla Ice ghost-writer and some moron posting up Jay-Z lyrics from Big Pimpin, hoping that no one notices. And the shocking thing is NO-ONE did!!! Well except one guy who thought it was Dr Dre. This is laugable. Stop this. For the sake of Hip hop, stop this now.

[Coman]

damn it.

[S-uper_T-oast]

Rappity Rappity Haiku Rhapsady
Toaday rap music
Is a pitiful excuse
Of what it once was

Rap was fresh and clean
New hotness sang from the soul
I even liked it

Now, cursing, bitching,
Pimpin themselves out to be
Hard, cold, street, ganstas

Oh thats cool

[S-uper_T-oast]

Rappity Rappity Haiku Rhapsady
Toaday rap music
Is a pitiful excuse
Of what it once was

Rap was fresh and clean
New hotness sang from the soul
I even liked it

Now, cursing, bitching,
Pimpin themselves out to be
Hard, cold, street, ganstas

Oh thats cool
(not hating on the thread but just my new 2 cents)

[gheto_supeastar]

Ego is what makes me,
Success is what takes me,
I know u ya'll against me,
but only death can break me

[S-uper_T-oast]

I never noticed, I doubled posted there with my haiku pimpness.

[jheriko]

Yo I'll probably get a dissing,
For diggin this up but listen...
Cos' if you take me on I'll beat you bitches to submission,
Like incisions made with surgical precision
and the power of nuclear fission
none of this shit is pre-written
the point is what your missing... listen
to my emission of the words,
these nouns and verbs, they work its so absurd,
when i blurt it is berserk.. and i need to jerk
i'm late for work. this shit it hurts
to spit this quick, i suppose in text it looses it...
love to grab a microphone... and start abusing it
i'm losing it. i'll choose to flip, leave you covered in bruises bitch. who is sick?
did you say me...here's a knockout line for free
diss on me, i'll shit on thee, do a 360 and i'll start to pee
fuck with me you'll quickly see what it means to peev a r337 MC.
i'm so elite, that when we meet you'll bow down and kiss my feet.

so just lap up your defeat... you've just been beat.

FOO!!1!¬!¬11!!


I gotta say its easier to rhyme vocally.... getting on a flow... having a beat... no need to stop to go back and fix typoes :P

Any battle rappers in Basingstoke out there?

[Cummi Bare]

Gonna pick up the flow.
'Cause the battle, y'know,
is the place I must be.
When the beats trippin' me.

Go brother, go.
Don't bum rush this sick show.
'Cause y'know how it feels,
if your shit's not for real.

[ElChevelle]

Yo DJ, spin that shit.


As soon as I finished givin the neighbor's dog a hump
I came back here to give this crap a bump.
It's all the rage in the recycle bin
sucks that I hang there now and then.
I know, I know, it's some pretty stinky poo
but I still gotta say "I can't quit you!"

Nerd to your mother

[protegechris]

yo jenny, bang ya for a penny
smoke a crack rock, then take a sip of hinny
my balls are big and saggy too,
my car drives by and goes boom boom boom

[swingdjted]

in'it time
to bust anatha rhyme?