Why Bother?

[Fickle]

Once again, I get bailed on. I'm completely sick of being bullshitted by women and having then trample all over me. I'm sick of maybe's and "I'll think about it"s and excuses and the whole fucking smear. I'm tired of trying to show a girl a good time and having it thrown in my face. Oh I made plans. Oh, my phone is broken.
It's all bullshit and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of climbing the mountain only to find it was cardboard and fall flat on my face.
Am I that worthless? Am I that fucking feeble and pathetic? What's wrong with me that everywhere I see people with good relationships and I can't even get a girl to go out with me? All I get is bullshit.

Fuck it. I should just go suck on a muffler. This is fucking pointless.

[taylormemer]

I know exactly how you feel Fickle, its shitty, but I wouldn't recommend sucking on a muffler.

[Bazman63]

Woah there. Easy now. It happens to all of us. You just gotta chill a bit. Stop trying so hard, it's scarey. Kick back, be yourself, you'll meet someone with similar interests who will come to you for who you are.

Best advice I got when I was a teenager,(besides personal hygene), was "relax, everything comes to he who knows how to wait".

Cheer up, Fickle.
Yours, uncle Bazman.:up:

[missyob]

Dont suck on a muffler hon.

Are you trying too hard? Sometimes when you least expect it a special person enters your life.

Dont give up hope.

~ Missy

[taylormemer]

What Bazman said.

[hgnis]

Originally posted by Bazman63
Best advice I got when I was a teenager..... personal hygene),

Sadly, I did not get that bit of advice. :(
More fish in the sea Fickle.

[ertmann|CPH]

blah, that's what my exgirlfriend told me when she broke up with me....

Turns out she was actually right :D

patience my friend, patience....

[d0rk]

Fickle,

My relationships:
1st girlfriend: Dated for 2 months, she broke up with me just because
2nd girlfrined: Dated for a 1 month, broke up with me and told me a few weeks later she used me cause she was depressed and she needed to take it out on someone (so i was pretty much her punching bag)
3rd girlfriend: Dated for 1 month, broke up with me because she cheated on me with some random guy
4th girlfriend: Dating now for 16 months and in love.

Most people told me that after the first 3 girls they would have turned gay. I just waited.

[JackalFace]

Gj d0rk :) But anyways, don't try to get a girlfriend, because after a while, you'll most likely get sick of her. That's what happens to me and I end up screwing myself in the head for a couple of months feeling guilty before I bring it up. My advice is wait if you really need someone.

[godoncrack]

before i get into a relationship with ANY woman
i like to get to know them first
i figure baring unforseen events, i'll live another 40-60 years
i have all the time in the world to network with the bitch
get a feel for her character traits
if she lies, or ball-giggles, or makes excueses
bitch has to go
if she is none of the above, she is elevated to the status of woman
and is loved

[Bilbo Baggins]

Turn gay. Its the "in thing"

[godoncrack]

while that may yet be, it will NEVER be in ME!!!

[Fickle]

what are the thoughts on confrontation? I'm really seriously thinking about confronting this girl and ask her what the fuck the problem with me is, and why games have to be played.
Penny for your thoughts.

[Bazman63]

Forget it. Move on. Grow with it. As above, big sea, lots of pretty fish.

[grumpyBB]

Ha, and everybody here took offense to the article I posted that showed women are natural born liars.:o

I know what it's like man, 32 and every women I've dated has played some sort of games or led me on, if not outright cheated on me. Being a good guy that treats women with respect and kindness means almost absolutely nothing to todays women. Most of them will just use it against you when they have the chance.

Don't be overly nice and don't become a total prick. Just become the asshole that doesn't care what women think of you. Women like challenge and fix-er-uppers and by being the asshole you become both. Women will do the damndest things to try to be the one that "fixed" you and changed you "for the better." Ever notice why so many women will stick around with abusive men or men that don't treat them well? It's because the women "know" that "deep down" is a good guy that she thinks she can change.:rolleyes: Then they wonder why they aren't loved and treated well when they did so much for the idiot.:rolleyes:

Instead of just realizing that going for assholes is the problem and going for a good guy, they'll continue going after the assholes that treat them badly and continue the same vicious circle. Usually when they realize what they're doing wrong they're just as bitter towards men as we are towards them and in their late 20's to early 30's. If you don't believe any of this I suggest you go to some mens forums (askmen.com for example) and read up for yourself.

[iomegajaz]

Originally posted by Fickle
what are the thoughts on confrontation? I'm really seriously thinking about confronting this girl and ask her what the fuck the problem with me is, and why games have to be played.
Penny for your thoughts. It probably wouldn't help - from the sounds of it, she porbably wouldn't tell you the truth, anyway. As Bazman said, unfortunately the best you can probably hope for is to grow from the experience.

[ShyShy]

Fickle, sweetie, it's all in the random timing. One day, a woman will cross your path that you didn't see before and BAM! Notice, I said "woman", not girl nor gal. There is a difference and real women in the real world do know when to appreciate their good fortune in meeting a good man. Keep your chin up, I've got faith that some woman out there will snag you up :D

[ertmann|CPH]

jup...

i know it's a pain in the ass to listen to all the cliches, but they're cliches because they're right

and defeats can make you stronger, they really can. in this case, it's allmost learning from your "mistakes", and stop repeating them.

If you "just" learn to have confidence in yourself, the rest will come all by itself...

- Stefan

[Fenix426]

Man even though im still in in my teens i dated so many bitches it aint(I know its bad grammer but i like it)funny. Most of em did it just to get a ride off the "nice guy"(thats who i am)
And i end up doing something for them when they think im a total ass *slams head on keyboard*, and then theres this girl that is good looking that i like but she just ignores me because i can't usually come up with some actually funny remark to make at the asignment/ teacher in class.....damn it i wish she would atleast notice me instead of laughing at the moron that sits on the other side of her that has nothing going on in that head of his.......like i said women and girls can be unpredictable and you guessed it, FICKLE!

[grumpyBB]

haha, what perfect timing. I was reading a thread on a board where I'm a moderator and these two posts popped right out at me:
Originally Posted by Xeelee


I find it laughable that there are some dudes out there who still don't know.
Jeeeez.
Ever hear the saying "The more you treat them like shit, the more they love you"? It's true.

and the response to him:
Originally Posted by TheRemains


It's REALLY true. As soon as I started treating my gf like shit and ditching her and shit she suddenly became infatuated with me. I've never seen a girl become so submissive and desperate for my attention. I could do anything to her and she would forgive me. It's pathetic!

and another reply to the same thread:

Originally Posted by Biomechanoid
you are absolutely correct.


reform your fucking ways and start being an ass to chicks.

truth:

my ex-fiance cheated on me so I dumped her. Every time a chick would try to flirt with me I'd be rather assholish and full of my self to get them to go away and you know what? they wanted me even more. So I'm still acting like an asshole and I'm seeing 4 women right now who "love" me so much that I can do whatever I want to them and they want me all the more for it

[Loveless]

Didn't see that coming. Nope. Not at all.

[ShyShy]

Originally posted by Loveless
Didn't see that coming. Nope. Not at all.


OMG!!!U2?!?

Talk about being blindsided.

[iomegajaz]

Aww.. the girls are getting into the sarcasm gig. I love it. =D

[White Raven]

Fickle, there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing in the slightest. What's wrong is those heartless demons that keep ripping your heart out to fill their own void. They can't see in you the true value that is there, and one day when they finally wake up and realize their disgusting ways, they will realize what a wonderful man they lost. Lost to their own need to fritter away money that isn't theirs, lost to their need to have sex with fourteen different guys in one week. You can't let their stupidity get to you Fickle, you're so much better than that, and you know it.

Here's to feeling better.

[ShyShy]

Originally posted by White Raven
You can't let their stupidity get to you Fickle, you're so much better than that, and you know it.


And that folks, sums it up. Wise words there W.R. :)

[horse-fly]

hell, i just gave up on women

Edit: seriously i did

[DragonSon]

You should never give up. No matter what, there is someone out there for everyone.

[ScorLibran]

Originally posted by d0rk
Most people told me that after the first 3 girls they would have turned gay. I just waited.
Gay after the first three girls??? If I did that I'd have turned gay some 17-girls-ago (or so). :eek:

@Fickle:

I feel for you, man. Don't give up, though. Be persistent, but don't need anything. This sounds pessimistic, but it's really not. It's actually part of self-actualization. When you find total assurance within yourself, and full emotional independence, it will be like a huge burden has been lifted from your shoulders. You can find a woman without having any glimmer of desperation, which the vast majority of daters have at least a little of, generally (not a bad trait, just a common human tendency).

You can find a woman who will "complete you" without you ever having a need to be "completed" by someone outside yourself. When you find love, it should be more about your world expanding than of a void being filled. If you walk around, as many people do, with a "hole in your soul" which you think you need another person to fill-in, then you'll end up being too dependent on having a girlfriend. Be complete within yourself first. Never need a girlfriend. This will give you the freedom to find one more easily, and to pick someone that you would most want to be with, instead of jumping into whichever relationship-possibility you come across at any given moment.

It will result in you not being needy (a turn-off for many women), and the extra confidence will make you appear more desirable to people.

I'm not assuming you have any form of low confidence, I'm just saying to make it a priority to not feel incomplete being single. Then you can date with total confidence, and have better success at it.

[missyob]

Originally posted by ScorLibran
You can find a woman who will "complete you" without you ever having a need to be "completed" by someone outside yourself. When you find love, it should be more about your world expanding than of a void being filled.
It will result in you not being needy (a turn-off for many women), and the extra confidence will make you appear more desirable to people.


I could not have given better advice. True words spoken Scor!

~ Missy

[ScorLibran]

Originally posted by missyob
I could not have given better advice. True words spoken Scor!

~ Missy
Thanks! ;)

One more thing I should add...When someone first looks at my dating/marriage history, which involves some 20 women and two marriages, combined with the fact that I'm currently single, they might think "Who am I to know what makes for successful dating if I haven't landed my soulmate yet?" The fact is that almost all of my relationships were sucessful. In my own opinion, most relationships weren't meant to last forever.

I learned that it's OK to be with someone for a month, or six months, or a year, or whatever length of time, and still have a fulfilling relationship. All but two of my ex's I parted with on very good terms, some of them I'm still friends with, and one of them is one of my very best friends in this world. If you believe in soulmates like I do, but that you should strive only to seek your soulmate, then that would imply that ideally you'd only date one woman, then marry her. Not the case. Fish the sea, play the field, have some fun. Be loyal to one woman at a time, but don't let the end of any relationship end you.

[apola_anamisha]

Ya, Fickle cheer up; you have not met the last girl of the world, have you? So you never know........there has to be someone better, someone more appropriate for you. Right now, just give sometime to yourself and see what happens next. Best luck.

[Raz]

I don't give relationship advice, what with being 16 and all. But there's some damn good advice in here. Just had to say.

[Fickle]

Well, last night I made plans to go out with a frined instead, since I didn't want to be left to sit and squander my day thinking about this problem, but he never called me back.
So I went to the pub, and got too lit to do anything but trouble and subsequently called roughly half the Earths population and told them I'd never want to see them again and that they were all complete twats. I even cursed out some wrong numbers. w00t. go me.
So today is patch-up day when we stupid (and normally happy) drunks have to go around and keep what friends that they have left after coming home at 11 o'clock completely plastered out of my gourd and a half bottle of Bacardi still in my jacket.
I still feel raw about this girl, as she was a (sort of) friend and since I probably pissed her off yesterday, it's probably on the edge right now.
I don't know. There are no real solutions that I like, and there aren't any solutions I don't agree with. I'll just have to play it by ear and hope that fate or God or just life in general will sort shit out cause right now I'm too raw to really think about anything monumental.
gah, I'm making a botch of this.

[ShyShy]

/me dunks Fickle's head in cold water :p

Hon, when you do talk with the girl, keep it short. Just apologize for being a druken ass and keep it at that. Don't drag out your apology (that just gives her more time and ammunition). And kiss your friends' asses. I'm pretty sure they know what's been going on, and real friends will understand that a moment in your life of utter stupidity doesn't mean squat in the end. And go get some sleep after taking a shower, you reek :p

[Fickle]

Originally posted by ShyShy
/me dunks Fickle's head in cold water :p

Hon, when you do talk with the girl, keep it short. Just apologize for being a druken ass and keep it at that. Don't drag out your apology (that just gives her more time and ammunition). And kiss your friends' asses. I'm pretty sure they know what's been going on, and real friends will understand that a moment in your life of utter stupidity doesn't mean squat in the end. And go get some sleep after taking a shower, you reek :p

This is essentially what I did. I made it short and sweet and to the point. Turns out I wasn't being bullshitted and she had a lousy time doing what she did instead of going out with me. I feel a bit better now, still a bit down, but nothing like yesterday.

My friends forgave me pretty easily, as if they did the same thing when they've been drinking (well, they never called me to tell me I suck..but okay.). Many made light of it, so I feel a bit better on that aspect as well.

[fukin_ay]

you just have to chill man, If girls are sweatin you, just gotta play cool. You can't hit them, but words are like bullets. Chicks need lovin too, and someone that they can just chill with, and be friends with.