Poetry help

[squakMix]

Hey, I need some help pretty quickly. We are doing this poem thing for school, and I want to know if Something can have metaphor, AND personification. My poem goes like this:


I Met Life
Today, I met life on the top of
Jagged,
Grey,
Experiences. Over soft,
Green,
Vegetation, and under crystal,
Opal blue…
Atlantic water.
But an old man, life peered sadly through an open smile of remembrance.
Old, deep rivets inhabited his face as he struggled to recover old memories.
A thick, warm smell of green exploded from his mouth as he formed the sound:

“Shhh.”



Would the bolded line be both? Thanks for any help. :)

[White Raven]

No... It isn't both... Doesn't really make sense...

"But an old man... His life peered sadly through an open window of remembrance."

That'd be both, I believe.

Then again, I just write poetry and don't give two shits about metaphors, similes, and soliloqhuy... What comes out, comes out.

But yes English class is different.
Mwah.

[ElChevelle]

^Chick rules!^

[ryan]

Agreed

[Cognition]

I thought he was using the metaphor of an old man to represent life, not talking about the old man's life. Hence the sentence does make sense as far as I can see, and yes it's both personificaion (life peering) and metaphor (life as man). Maybe it'd be easier to understand if you made it a simile instead, i.e.:
"But like an old man, life peered sadly..."

[Widdykats]

A metaphor is this:
Definition: this is also a comparison, but a direct comparison which states that something is another thing. This is done by transferring the identity of the one object or quality to another object or quality.
As in "The clouds are like cotton balls"
Personification is this:
giving life-like qualities to an inanimate thing or abstract idea.
As in " The moon stared down"
Easy to combine the two..
:D

[squakMix]

Originally posted by White Raven
No... It isn't both... Doesn't really make sense...

"But an old man... His life peered sadly through an open window of remembrance."

That'd be both, I believe.

Then again, I just write poetry and don't give two shits about metaphors, similes, and soliloqhuy... What comes out, comes out.

But yes English class is different.
Mwah.


But an old man, life... = life is just an old man.


Originally posted by Cognition
I thought he was using the metaphor of an old man to represent life, not talking about the old man's life. Hence the sentence does make sense as far as I can see, and yes it's both personificaion (life peering) and metaphor (life as man). Maybe it'd be easier to understand if you made it a simile instead, i.e.:
"But like an old man, life peered sadly..."

Yes, that's what I was aiming at.

[mikeflca]

I recommend posting in the poetry thread in the art forum, so you can ask the other poetry Greats there as well.

[squakMix]

...didnt know one existed.

[EsFooz]

Originally posted by Widdykats
A metaphor is this:
Definition: this is also a comparison, but a direct comparison which states that something is another thing. This is done by transferring the identity of the one object or quality to another object or quality.
As in "The clouds are like cotton balls"
Personification is this:
giving life-like qualities to an inanimate thing or abstract idea.
As in " The moon stared down"
Easy to combine the two..
:D
uhhh isnt a similie the one that uses "like" or "as"
Metaphor: A figure of speech that compares two things without using the words "like" or "as".
just did a project thing on literary devices in school

[Reaper]

Originally posted by EsFooz
uhhh isnt a similie the one that uses "like" or "as"
Correct.

[izchan]

Can't really help you on that, as I just write what comes to mind. But you can post the question in the poetry thread here, and see if the others can assists you there.

http://forums.winamp.com/showthread.php?threadid=66255.

hope that helps.