randyj
27th June 2004, 20:22
I found this list: just for laughs--need a smile a day i think. Have more, but will wait to see if you all like it.
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow aisles.Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10". Play with the automatic doors. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?" Repeat in the jewelry department. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow! Magic!" Put M&M's on layaway. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow aisles.Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10". Play with the automatic doors. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?" Repeat in the jewelry department. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow! Magic!" Put M&M's on layaway. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.