Fickle
23rd April 2006, 03:54
You know, a long time ago I believed that the world was a mean place, a firey pit full of demons and snakes and wildebeasts that want to rip me to shreds.
I figured out that isn't really all that true.
I also used to think that everyone everywhere was against me, like I was fighting a battle with the world's occupants, everyone was out to totally screw me in any manner they could, love, home, truth, peace and most of all mind. No matter who you were you were probably going to try to screw me over at some point.
That also was not true.
You might want to know of something that has remained in my dome for longer than a few years, am I still afraid of clowns, the dark, being alone and closed spaces. In a word, yes. But do I rant and rave about how much injustice there is in the world and how I can't find my piece of the pie, much less the greater portion of pie to share with my compadres? Meh. I still rant and rave, but the spit doesn't fly as far anymore and the eyes don't glow as red. My face doesn't contort and nobody makes me so mad I want to kill them. I just get frustrated with stupid, ignorant people.
Do you remember that time I got that kid to leave the Forums? I look at that and I remember being proud of myself; I really did a great job by getting him to freak out and finally run for cover. But what in hell did I accomplish? Did I really make the forum a better place? Not really. I just made it so we wouldn't see Falcon4 written on the end of every fucking post because nobody liked him and he got under all of our skin. The worst part about it is that I've gone back and looked at what I wrote to that stupid brat and some of it was clever, but most of it's just me taking all my anger out on someone nobody liked. I bullied the little fuck. Did he desearve it? Probably, but that doesn't mean I'm proud of it. All I did was attack someone who got on my nerves. And it worked once. Once. Only once did me freaking out actually get someone to leave of thier own accord. Most of the time I just whirled a bit of drama around myself.
Not that anybody will read this because it's eleven o'clock on a Saturday and I'm tired and rambling like an old man in a plaid shirt, but I came by tonight and I had a few memories that shot through my head and I remember most of them being me trying to be the center of attention. Maybe I really did earn my title as Butterknife of Justice. But I didn't do it because I wanted to do the right thing, I did it because I wanted to be right about something. And who's going to argue against an attack on a post-pumper? That guy didn't have many friends and I just capitilized on it.
So anyway. I'm not back, per se, but I did just drop in and throw down on a thread just because I haven't seen anyone in a while and coming back here to the forum I participated most in was like sitting in my ass-groove in the couch (which has, like my attention here, dwindled to near-nothing) and putting on a old shirt that barely fits anymore. I'm sure I'll drop in again. So, Hi there all you folks who remember me, and howdy to all those who respond to threads like this with "I don't know you, but hi and WB" and all that jazz. See you around. And like my good buddy once said "It really is true, you know: Wherever you go, man, there you are."
I figured out that isn't really all that true.
I also used to think that everyone everywhere was against me, like I was fighting a battle with the world's occupants, everyone was out to totally screw me in any manner they could, love, home, truth, peace and most of all mind. No matter who you were you were probably going to try to screw me over at some point.
That also was not true.
You might want to know of something that has remained in my dome for longer than a few years, am I still afraid of clowns, the dark, being alone and closed spaces. In a word, yes. But do I rant and rave about how much injustice there is in the world and how I can't find my piece of the pie, much less the greater portion of pie to share with my compadres? Meh. I still rant and rave, but the spit doesn't fly as far anymore and the eyes don't glow as red. My face doesn't contort and nobody makes me so mad I want to kill them. I just get frustrated with stupid, ignorant people.
Do you remember that time I got that kid to leave the Forums? I look at that and I remember being proud of myself; I really did a great job by getting him to freak out and finally run for cover. But what in hell did I accomplish? Did I really make the forum a better place? Not really. I just made it so we wouldn't see Falcon4 written on the end of every fucking post because nobody liked him and he got under all of our skin. The worst part about it is that I've gone back and looked at what I wrote to that stupid brat and some of it was clever, but most of it's just me taking all my anger out on someone nobody liked. I bullied the little fuck. Did he desearve it? Probably, but that doesn't mean I'm proud of it. All I did was attack someone who got on my nerves. And it worked once. Once. Only once did me freaking out actually get someone to leave of thier own accord. Most of the time I just whirled a bit of drama around myself.
Not that anybody will read this because it's eleven o'clock on a Saturday and I'm tired and rambling like an old man in a plaid shirt, but I came by tonight and I had a few memories that shot through my head and I remember most of them being me trying to be the center of attention. Maybe I really did earn my title as Butterknife of Justice. But I didn't do it because I wanted to do the right thing, I did it because I wanted to be right about something. And who's going to argue against an attack on a post-pumper? That guy didn't have many friends and I just capitilized on it.
So anyway. I'm not back, per se, but I did just drop in and throw down on a thread just because I haven't seen anyone in a while and coming back here to the forum I participated most in was like sitting in my ass-groove in the couch (which has, like my attention here, dwindled to near-nothing) and putting on a old shirt that barely fits anymore. I'm sure I'll drop in again. So, Hi there all you folks who remember me, and howdy to all those who respond to threads like this with "I don't know you, but hi and WB" and all that jazz. See you around. And like my good buddy once said "It really is true, you know: Wherever you go, man, there you are."