Xerxes' INNAPROPRIATE responses...

[Xerxes]

A situation, and the incorrect thing to say.

#1

Friend: Well, I just got back from a weekend at my grandmother's house...

INNAPROPRIATE response:

You: Oooohhh! Kinky!!! mmmm....

WRONG!

[sgtfuzzbubble011]

Situation:

"I just burned some really cool CDs..."

Response:

"Dude! What'd you do that for?! You're supposed to burn weed, not CDs!"

[Bilbo Baggins]

Situation : ANother phone call from a gym offering premium discounts.

Innapropriate Response : "Sorry, but I am paraplegic".

[Xerxes]

Situation:

A coworker comments on how she thinks "the office coffee
is real good today"

Incorrect Response:

you say "Well, then thank GOD for Saddam Hussein!"

[sgtfuzzbubble011]

Situation:

You get pulled over for speeding...
"Can I see your lisence and registration please?"

Response:

"Yeah, it's in my wallet... Could you hold my beer while I get it?"

[John M]

Situation:
you are in major trouble for this, etc

Response:
its not that serious

edit - be a lot funnier if u knew the story... too lazy to type it

[Xerxes]

Situation: In a romantic resteraunt your Blind Date asks "So tell me about yourself"

Response: " Well... I was born with both sets of Genitalia... JUST KIDDING! "

[Bilbo Baggins]

Situation : Bill Clinton asks if you have a cigar.

Innapropraite Respons : "Yes sir, would you care for a drag?"

[gandalf]

Situation: You are in an airport, entering a foreign country

Q:May i see your passport please?

A:Which one?

[Snocloud]

Sorry too oppose the whole thing here but well aaahhhh just shut up and read

situation:
A man in a trench coat drives up jumps out of the car and does the full monty right in front of you

F**king Hillarious:
HOLY SHIT what do you call that??
I would say it was a penis if I didn't know better

[Snocloud]

ok ok I admit it that was lame but oh well
Here I will make it up:

Situation:
Really hot guy(or girl for all you people of the male genitia(to steel Heathers phrase for lack of a better one)walks up to you in a bar and askes you if the seat next to you is taking

Answer:
YES DON'T YOU DARE SIT THERE!!!!!!
*look down at the seat*
How are ya doing little green dude from the plant X another beer for ya???

[Mister Bill]

Q. Are you interested in burial plots?

A. Sorry, I'm not dead. (actually did that to a telemarketer)

[JustinBm]

telemarketer: Sir, are you interested in switching to our long distance plan ?

Me: Well, I don't really need long distance, cuz after I hang up with you, I'm going to kill myself.

Ha ha ha...I thought it was funny

[WomanOfHeart]

Okay...

A drunk and very smelly guy walks up to me in a karaoke bar and asks if I would like to sing a song with him...

My appropriate response..."No, thank you."

So then he asks me if I have any requests...

My inappropriate response..."Sure, I have a request. Why don't you fuck off and sober up!"

[Bilbo Baggins]

Under the circumstances, that sounds about the right response.

[womanfiend]

Q - Is this your liquor?

A - Yeah, but I haven't had any of it. I gave it all to the chick passed out in the back seat orficer.
-----
Used to telemarket for MCI. Signed a thing that said I can't even talk about it but fuck 'em cause I turn 18 Sat so I'm gonna break the law before they can get me (hard). One chick asked me if I would meet her. She sounded a good bit older. I told her to look out the window at the red car. She shit her pants.

JG
---
"My rule for when you ride w/ me: Ass, Gas, or Grass- nobody gets a free ride."

[xapec]

Q. May i see your drivers license?

A. Now thats a problem.......

[jns]

How many people work here?
Oh, about half!
:D

[xapec]

you see on the news that your church has burnt down over night, you wife and freinds state thats horrible - but your response is

"Great, now my sunday's free to go to the bar & get some puff puff give going!"

[PBKramer]

Situation - Someone asks you how's it going?

Response - Better than Tito Jackson eating a banana and combing Mr.T's hair with a giant spork!!!!



Note- Tito Jackson, banana, Mr.T, and spork are the funniest words ever

[WolfieD]

Situation: In a crowded airport over Easter Vacation with Mom, Dad, Sis, and the family cat all drugged out in his little carrier case.

Wrong thing to say: Jeesh, Mom, I sure hope we remembered to pack the bomb!

[WolfieD]

Situation: Sitting at home in your comfortable bathtub, playing in the bubble bath, reading your favorite Romance Novel, when suddenly, the door bell rings.

Innapropriate thing to do: Run down the stairs naked except for a few clinging bubbles, unlock the door, stick your head out, and yell as loud as you can, 'BING FUCKING BONG' only to find out its your mother, returning your drugged out cat from the border patrol.

[Bizznatch]

Situation: Cop pulls you over for swerving.

bad response: Oh sorry officer, I was just reaching for my bag of crack when my gun slipped out of my hands and knocked over my beers.

[Curi0us_George]

Situation:
Your girlfriend comes to you crying, "I can't believe it. Some sick freaks dug up my grandmother's grave and stole her body. The police don't even know why." *sob*

Response:
"Did I ever mention that I'm a necrophiliac?"

[JZ_UK]

Your asleep in class the teacher taps you on the head to wake you up.

You: NO DADDY DON'T TOUCH ME THERE THATS MY SPECIAL AREA

[jns]

Woah! WolfieD posting before even registered! Wow!

[WolfieD]

Originally posted by jns
Woah! WolfieD posting before even registered! Wow!

As Emeril would say...

Ba-BANNED!

[InvisableMan]

arise from the depths of hell, my pretty!

[henry3k56]

Situation: In A Bank passing the Teller a deposit slip.
Response: Yes, my name is Rob T. Bank

[Merlin]

Situation: Bumped old Thread

Inappropriate Response: "Wow, my 3000th post! I need to get my life back, instead of rattling around here with you stupid fucks!"

;)