About virtual contacts in the internet and contacts in real

[Sabine Klare]

I don't know, if such a thread had been opened already or if I am one of the forums members who wants to discuss about that, and I have decided for the Bitchlist. Also in some other threads I had talked about that partially, and I have annouced this thread some days ago.

With my 50 years I am not very young anymore, and over the years I had to learn very much for my life. I am not yet ready with the learning. It is a neverending procedure in a life of everybody. Over the years many things had changed. New things had come which I didn't have seen yet in my younger years. The same is also for my husband Frank.

In our life we had learned to know very much people in real and we had to experience also very much different disappointments by very much people. Sometimes people had retired only or they had changed the city, and we say: Then we have to let them go. Many other people suddenly had died, younger people and older people.

I remember the different meeting-groups. Also we ourselves had once 2 own meeting-groups from 1997 to 2000 and from 1998 to 2001. At first many other people with the same interests had asked for that, and suddenly less people had come and then no one at the end before we had decided to disband the meeting-groups. Finally we had found a new and better address for the monthly meetings, after suddenly another meeting-group had got the promised meeting-room because of football very often, and then suddenly the other people began to change their "interests". Somehow they didn't have the time anymore to meet people in real.

My time at school was "The Hell On Earth", recently I have mentioned that in another thread. Outside of the school there was a meeting-group only for a short time (4 years). As an adult in 1995 I had learned to know another community in real. I myself had helped to build it up. Especially in 2004 it had many success, but in 2005 it began to fall apart, and in 2010 it was away totally. Because I have become older and less healthy, I don't have enough power anymore to build up something new.

In 2004 also we ourselves got internet. It was not always nice with the E-Mails, I have mentioned also that. I myself went to the remained monthly meetings in real yet before they had been abolished by the other founders, too. In 2007 we got a faster internet connection with DSL (again very slow in the times of today). Also I myself began to surf more and more. In 2009 I had bought my own PC and in 2010 I had connected it with one of the other remained jacks at our router.

In that time we had registered on many websites. Nearly all of them had changed their profile layouts from time to time (and then they had looked more ugly). Some of the websites suddenly were not available in our country anymore or they simply had been shut down. And over the years we also had changed our opinion about some of the websites. We don't like, that suddenly users are blocked by Facebook, sometimes forever, just because they have used pseudonyms instead of real names or because they have written one more PM, have made one more posting, have clicked "Add as friend" or "Like" one more time on the same day etc.

At least the half of the "Facebook-Friends" were not really honest or gentle, and they were very moody, arrogant or selfish etc. Trying to mediate between the fronts mostly had ended with a virtual punch into the face. Also opposite opinions were unwanted very often. And many good postings had been ruined with bad comments. There are some more problems in Facebook than only the conflicts between users, for example the identity-thefts or also the auto-posted dangerous links. If a user clicks on such a link, then the next "friends" get the same link posted by the innocent and uncareful user. At least we had known, why many unknown people had asked us for our E-Mail-Addresses in PMs. Of course they didn't have got that from us.

Already in 2013 many incidents had happened. After Summer 2014 more and more indidents had happened again and again and they had increased, in Facebook, in the internet and also in real. And they had come out of control. In December 2014 Frank and I had no other choice, we both had to deactivate our Facebook-Accounts. We are not sure, if we can return or if we want that.

On another website I got told, that I would have the chance to meet people in real. But in Berlin not very much contacts in real had remained. And the next people had died or they simply had dumped us, in all cities. In the last 2 years I had learned to know some new people. But I have decided, for the future I want to let grow things more slowly than I did that in the past.

[hatecubed]

A very delayed read and reply, but I wanted to say that I appreciate this post Unfortunately for me, mostly it has reminded me of my pining for a return visit to Berlin... such an easy city to fall in love with!

[Sabine Klare]

Thank You for Your feedback, hatecubed, and good to hear, that You love Berlin.

I myself never want to leave the city where I had been born and grown up. If I would be forced to leave Berlin and die in another city some day, then I would not be burried in Berlin, I know that. Since some years less and less payable apartments are available in Berlin, more and more long-time tenants are expelled because they have become unprofitable, and now the first old long-time tenants with very low incomes are forced to move away from Berlin, after again a landlord has changed and simply has terminated the lease agreement contract to get the apartment empty. But also Berlin itself has changed in the latest 50 years. People who had made their latest visit in the Eighties will not recognize the city anymore because the "Good Old Berlin" has gone. Not only the architecture has changed in many environments, also the crime and violence have increased more and more. But of course as photo-artist I cannot only stay at home.

I had learned to know the previous meeting-point in 1995 and the current meeting-point in 2006. I had learned to know also 2 other meeting-points in 2006 and 2008, but I don't like the first one anymore and I didn't like the second one. In the previous meeting-point there were monthly and weekly meetings in the past, before in 2008 the hosts had decided to discontinue with the montly meetings, maybe an idea especially by those 2 hosts with a very bad character. One of them had yelled at somebody very often if this person didn't feel well, the other one had choosen some people to use them as "doormat" for the moods and for spiteful remarks. But also in the weekly meetings the old guests began to stay away, and the new guests were not gentle anymore. After some of the new guests had used me as "way finder" and then excluded me from a park-tour in June 2012 (the old guests never would have done that with me!), a half year later I had decided to change the meeting-point.

In 2009 Frank and I began to register on the well-known music websites and social networks. In YouTube and MySpace a very unique virtual community began to grow up after the other community in real had gone already. I remember the many interactions between us in YouTube and MySpace. In Facebook I saw a chance for some more contacts also with other artists who were a little bit more well-known. I still like also the music by the GEMA-Members, not only the music by the Creative Commons Artists, always Electronic and its related genres. Unfortunately a troublemaker had added me also in Facebook although in YouTube he seemed to be a reasonable person yet. He had ruined all my good music-postings with very bad comments, all my tries to have a good look also in the eyes of the better-known artists had been destroyed with that. But especially I myself had many problems also with internet-stalkers later and not only with the other troublemakers.

We users and artists in YouTube who were far away from the "Top Charts" had a good contact each other. Unfortunately in Spring 2012 a very arrogant man had appeared on all these websites. He had collected all us artists and put pressure on us. He had sowed the seeds of discord between us artists intentionally. Of course not everybody of us wanted to "dance to his tune", and I myself refused to give him my E-Mail-Address because I didn't trust him. Unfortunately I was right. He had added me to a secret Facebook-Group without asking me. I didn't leave a sign there. Later he had removed me from his group because I should not have seen anymore, that he had made the next filthy calumnies, maybe against me or also against Frank. That's very strange, that in the same time some of the other artists simply had deleted the friendship with my husband in Facebook. And I myself had seen, a very unique community simply had been destroyed.

In November 2012 a new virtual community had grown up when Mixlr was for free yet. In May 2014 broadcasters with basic accounts for free got a limitation of only 1 hour, and since April 2017 broadcasting for these accounts is not possible anymore although not everybody wants to make online-banking. Again a community had gone. I think, the radio-chats of the other radio-stations (SHOUTcast Radio Websites) are still active although I myself was not able anymore to visit them. But I don't miss them. In one of the 2 radio-chats a very spiteful man had insulted me only. Also in the other one I had been derided for my fears and terrible experiences with spiteful remarks, and all my software-related questions simply didn't have been answered although there always were between 10 and 20 guests in a chat and at least some of them must have seen my questions. I really had to learn everything alone with "discover and try".

At least less internet-activities mean for me also more time for making new park-tours and new nature-photos, and back at home I also have more time for making my photo-edits.

[Sabine Klare]

The last time I forgot to mention some points. I should add them...

I cannot exclude for 100%, that the first troublemaker in Facebook was also this one unknown user or one of the unknown users, who had given very bad ratings with only 1 star to all my video-uploads on YouTube, systematically and intentionally. 1 star was the worst and 5 stars was the best rating. Later YouTube had changed the rating-system to "thumbs up" and "thumbs down". I had no other choice than to disable the ratings for each video-upload. Later also some other good artists got these intentional bad ratings, but not only on YouTube, also on MyOwnMusic and MyVideo. Later MyVideo had deleted all our accounts with and without own uploads. Only a few users and artists were also on MyVideo, not only on YouTube and MySpace. Some artists and users were on the music-websites already after they had been founded, and we ourselves had discovered them 2, 3 or a few years later, very lately, too lately (the same for me is also with Winamp).

Some artists on YouTube and MySpace had changed the settings also, so that each comment for a video or on a profile has to wait for its approval. Of course it becomes necessary, if other users make intentional bad comments on a profile or for a music-upload on a music-website. Also worse comments by nasty users have to be avoided, of course, and I know, later some nasty users had some more nasty plans with their comments. About MySpace itself: The profile-layout had been changed a few times, and after we got also "The New MySpace", many people had left MySpace or they are not active anymore on this music-website. Unfortunately in the years 2012, 2013 and 2014 some bigger websites had been hacked, also LinkedIn, Yahoo and MySpace.

We had refused to give our E-Mail-Adresses to unkown people in Facebook when they wanted to get our E-Mail-Adresses via PM. But because of the big hackings of the bigger websites it had happened what we didn't have wanted: Unauthorized people got also our E-Mail-Adresses. And although WPA2 should be very secure and our second router was newer (from October 2013), we think, our WLAN-Key had been hacked by the unknown people who were standing with their mobile devices near our multi-family-house every day for many hours in Autumn 2014. When we had turned off the WLAN in December, suddenly these people had disappeared. If these dishonest people had read our activities in our network, then it is very bad.

In the same time we had to experience also an identity-theft. But we had to contact the police more than only 1 time in our life. Some years ago unknown housebreakers got the doors open to some rooms in the basement of the multi-family-house, some objects had been stolen. Later, after we had already internet, we got also some very nasty E-Mails with murder-threats, we still don't know, if our life was in danger in that time. And 2 years ago in the evening suddenly 1 or some unknown housebreakers had tried to open the door to our apartment while we both were at home. A half year later the next attacks at the door had happened after midnight. We are already very careful: If unknown people appear at the door and ring again and again, then we don't open the door.

I have mentioned already, we had learned to know many people in real, but only a few of them were and are true friends. Some people wanted to patronize us and dictate our life, some people were very moody, unfriendly, arrogant, selfish, corruptible, inhuman, regardless, nasty, spiteful, with many prejudices, dishonest, not reliable or without any respect for our individuality and privacy or our ownership and proprietary. In the past we had received many visits by many former contacts, solo and also after our wedding in August 1993 (in December we had moved into our previous 2-room-apartment). We had experienced, that suddenly objects had been damaged, later also, that objects had disappeared, and maybe some more objects are not in our apartment anymore. They are not at their place where they should have been. When did the other objects disappear, already in our previous apartment, later in our current apartment or during the necessary moving because of the pipe-break in the apartment above in January 2006?

I could have some more stories about the virtual contacts in the internet and contacts in real, but for today I should finish because I don't want to make my posting too long...