Quandaries...
 

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

unsliced bread.

If....
 

If all of the world was paper, and all of the oceans were ink
and all the trees.
were bread and cheese,
what would we have to drink?

(I heard that somewhere, that is not an original saying)

do something to the cheese and make it milk :D

Cheese comes from milk. Next...

Perfection...
 

If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice?

wheat bread...

llamas :D :D

i knew that. i was just wondering if the opposite could be done. btw about that practice thing, you've got a good point. i quit practicing when i like four or something.

English...
 

Why is it that "bomb," "tomb," and "comb" can only have the first letter be different, but still sound nothing alike?

stolen from Galager (the dude who smashes fruit)

yon practice bit:

if you view something as practice and not repetition then you won't practice it, however if you involuntarly repet someting they you become good at it.

EX:
if you practice at typing you won't get good at it, however you just type you will get good at it.

110 wpm even when i'm not with it.

that may not all make sense its early and snl is just getting worse by the week.
-----------------------------------

if you want a random quote then here is ur supplement:

"I'd like to die like my grandfather, peacefully in my sleep - Not screaming like the passengers in his car."
~Anonymous ~

"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward."
~Gallagher~

"The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone, was the founder of civilization."
~Sigmund Freud~

"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."
~Anonymous ~

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible."
~Albert Einstein~

"A neurotic is the man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent."
~Jerome Lawrence~

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
~Anonymous~

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is scared I am going to take over."
~Eve Toth~

"It is better to rule in hell than serve in heaven."
~Lucifer~ in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman~

"Oh people, know that you have committed great sins. If you ask me what proof I have for these words, I say it is because I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you!"
~Genghis Khan, Bukhara 1220~

"The road of good intentions is paved with Hell."
~Spencer Ante~

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."
~Aldous Huxley~

"Jesus Loves You. I don't.
Get the fuck out of my way."
~Unknown~

“Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
~Unknown~

"Everybody has a right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege."
~Joseph Stalin~

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them."
~William Clayton~

“He’s here, Mr. Berquist. And naked as an oyster. Three guesses what they were up to.”
~ Police Officer (Stranger in a Strange Land: PG. 91)

drive on parkways, park on driveways.


its been done

Shipment goes by truck and cargo goes by boat.

no, cheese cannot be changed back to milk.

when you make milk into cheese, you add a bacteria which effectivley splits the milk up into it's two components (curds and whey, the solid and the liquid). Now, for a dry cheese, you drain all of the whey out of the curds (by cutting it up, and then milling it into little bits), then you compress it all, and wait for the rest of the whey to drain out. Then, with a traditional cheese, you'd wrap it in bandages, cover it with lard and leave it for 4-12 months. after that you will have a traditional hard cheese. If you want a softer cheese, you don't drain as much whey. It is an irreversible process (you can't take the bacteria out and mix the curds and whey back together.

So THAT is what Lil' Ms. Muffet was eating. Doesn't sound to appatising to me. :igor: On a side note: binary hero, you know way to much about the cheese making process. :D

Cheese is best described by the Chinese word, wich translates as "Rotten Milk". Unless there is a way of "Re-composing" it no.

What? "r4m3n n00d|3z 0vvn y0vr 4zzi!i" What does that mean?

And as for cheese...rotten milk or not, I 'm still gonna love it on my Steak Burgers from Steak N' Shake.

I'd tell you, but you lazy people need to figure it out yourselves!It means "Ramen noodles own your ass!!!

Its l33t language and I think it means: Ramen Noodles ovvn(up?) your ass!!!

what a lovly image:igor:

right...

Size...
 

Anyone else notice how the word "big" is such a small word? Just three letters.

Encore
 

Here are some more:

Is there another word for synonym?

Why did kamikazi(sp?) pilotes wear helmets? (same can be asked for skydivers)

How do they get the deer to cross at the road sign?

Roman Noodles Own Your Ass. (for those of you who are too lazy to highlight)

Time to ruin all the fun:

"What was the best thing before sliced bread?"
'Best' is a subjective term. You will have to ask every person who lived before the advent of sliced bread on what their opinion of what the best contemporary thing is, in order to find the answer.

"If all of the world was paper, and all of the oceans were ink
and all the trees.
were bread and cheese,
what would we have to drink?"
You'd be a fool to drink out of the ocean anyway. It's salt water.

"If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice?"
Simply because no one is currently perfect does not mean that someone cannot be perfect in the future. For example, if you are the only person in the world who practices, you will eventually be the only person in the world who is perfect.

"Why is it that "bomb," "tomb," and "comb" can only have the first letter be different, but still sound nothing alike?"
That is just the nature of the English language. Spellings are not phonetic as they are in other languages, such as Czech.

"drive on parkways, park on driveways."
Driveways are intended to be a path in which you can drive through into a parking garage. Garages are intended for parking, not driveways. Driveways are merely temporary paths. Look at an old farmhouse in the countryside, for example. The driveway is a long path that goes from the main road to a barn, or other such permanent storage area. According to Dictionary.com, one of the meanings of "park" is "A broad, fairly level valley between mountain ranges". I suspect "parkway" refers to the broad, flatness of such a throughfare. Parkways are usually through a city core, no? So it is the major flat surface in a "mountaneous" high rise district.

"Shipment goes by truck and cargo goes by boat."
A shipment can go by boat as well, and cargo can go by car. The root word for shipment is "ship", as in "shipping", not as in an ocean-going vessel. Cargo refers to any payload.

"Anyone else notice how the word "big" is such a small word?"
Again, just the nature of the English language. Infinitesimal is a very large word.

"Is there another word for synonym?"
According to Roget's Thesaurus, there are several.

"Why did kamkazi pilotes wear helmets? (same can be asked for skydivers)"
Kamakazi pilots wore helmets so that they would not be shot in the head by antiaircraft fire as the made they're run. If they were incapacitated, they would not be able to target their plane into the designated target. Skydivers wear them so if they hit their head against a part of the plane as they fall out, or against another skydiver in a midair collision, they will not be rendered unconscious.

How do they get deer to cross at the sign?"
They don't. The signs mean that deer exist in the area, so be wary of any animals crossing your path. Dedicated animal crossings do exist, though. Large pipes, similar to a storm drain, is constructed underneath the road way. This way, animals such as hedgehogs and rabbits can cross the road without becoming road kill.

and isnt a non smoking section in a resturaunt kinda like a no peeing zone in a pool?:eek:

Do frogs suffer from banging their bum on the ground every time they jump?
Would a merciful god have given them wings, or at least better landing gear?
Why does a single M&M bliss pigs out so?

quote:
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Originally posted by spikegrrrl


and isnt a non smoking section in a resturaunt kinda like a no peeing zone in a pool?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! i mean thats kinda funny. right on!

pigs like M&Ms?!?!?!

ARG! Stupid horizontal bar...

If drinkers get drunk, then how to (weed) smokers get stoned or high, when smoking has nothing to do with stones or levels of heights?

Why are they called "English Muffins" when there's nothing so "english" about them?

Why do headphones have the word "phone" in them when I can't use them like one?

Why isn't the word "tiny" so tiny when it contains more characters than "big"?

Why is milk no longer delivered in glass bottles, straight to your home?

What are crumpets? ;) :p

LOL all, I love them ALL (esp. the smoking/pissin' one)! Keep 'em commin!

"pigs like M&Ms?!?!?!"-Zerokoolad

Absolutely!
Give a pig one M&M candy and watch the show!
You've never seen an animal so enraptured.
I discovered it by accident, I had some M&Ms and gave one to a pet pig named Rooty(she was always begging for treats).
It's one of those must see to believe reactions.
Every pig I ever gave an M&M acted the same way...they REALLY dig em!

I'll take your word for it.

[edit]Could it just be the chocolate?[/edit]

hell yeah dude im gonna get some pigs everclear and M&Ms for the pigs everclear all for me. how can something that smells so caustic be good for you and make me so happy and slow my reaction time so.

Pigs love chocolate like I love vodka.
But, like vodka and all alcohol, chocolate should be given to pigs moderatly. It's probably like dogs--its harmful to thier digestive systems, which were not built to absorb such materials--kind of like my liver and vodka.

Keep dreaming--Love will never be true--that's why you have to build yourself up to get a girl to go out with you and then she's pissed cause you lied.

Is it good if a vacuum sucks?

Classic
 

I'm supprised no one has mentioned this one yet, so I will.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Re: Classic
 

Who cares? By now, both the joke and the chicken are dead, so that's the least of my worries. As long as it comes dead and ready to eat at my local Lee's! :p

Why do they called it a work bench if you don't sit on it?