Make me a god
 

I think I deserve to be made a god. I have all the qualities for deification... I'm perfect for the job. I'm benevolent, merciful, very knowledgeble... in fact, I border on omniscience. I can be two-faced though. On the one hand, I'll tell my followers "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife", but on the other hand, I'll be chasing down vestal virgins nineteen to the dozen. I'll claim to be the source of all good in the universe, the benefact of mandkind, but I shall damn eternally those who oppose me. I'll be all powerful, but do nothing to end the suffering of mankind. I will smite my friends, and reward my enemies.

I can also be playful. There's nothing I like more then fooling with the fates of men. Nothing gives me more joy then raising the hopes of a poor soul, only to dash his dreams a week later. Give a man a job on Monday, kill his wife on Tuesday. That sort of thing.


So yeah, I'm perfect for the position of God.

Re: Make me a god
 

So very close to perfection....

What shade are you?
http://www.shadesofgod.com/


[edit] bugger, Mike needs to work on that...[/edit]

mandkind happens to be the kind that codes Mandrake :-p And I said I wanted to be made a god... not that I was one already.

Uh, do we vote on this? :confused:

hum... I really think you should practice on some of thoughs games were you simulate what god is like and such and if you get really good I think you might be the perfect canidate for God

i already am

according to bobism (a religion a friend started) i'm Zeke, the god of unwanted electrical shocks

Would you look at that... I wonder what the world will be like 2000 years from now :-D

I think I would make a FAR superior divine being...and anybody who disagrees has earned themselves a guaranteed trip to my restructured hell, which is now very much like the Christian heaven, with a lot of touchy-feely moralists sitting in a circle holding hands and singing repetitive songs about morality all day rather than having promiscuous sex, playing loud heavy metal music, getting wasted, and doing any of the various fun activities that get to go on in my restructured version of heaven.

erm, you appear to be a god, rm'

Feeling a bit self-confident, are we?

(LOL, I was about to go into PSP and edit a screenie I took of this page to change rm's title to 'Forum God' when I noticed that it really was 'Forum God'. Wow, he must really be a god if he's omniscient. :p )

Fear my powers to magically change things, without even my knowledge of the change having taken place.

sure, i do think it is a good idea for a god to be elected. you sound like a good enough god to me, you got my vote. (you also have no opponents yet)

As everyone here knows, I am a living divinity currently residing in human form.

Of course you are. As I'm sure you all know, Xerxes makes up the evil force of the religion Sciencetology. I make up the good half. Now, gimme your money, and I'll cure what Xerxes ails you with.

It's SCIENTOLOGY.

It's my religion, and I say it's Sciencetology. I'm pretty sure the Scientologists would sue me if I claimed otherwise :weird:

Re: Make me a god
 

You're omniscient ey? That's really ludricrous!:mad: Not even Satan is omniscient. But then again you wrote "god" with a little g.:mad: If you omniscient then you would be every where at once! if your there then you are here...why dont you tap me on the shoulder or make it rain? Try to Create from nothing jackass:mad: :mad: :down: :down:

Why would a true god, who is independent of his creation, listen to the petty desires of puny humans?

Besides, I, personally, said I border on omniscience. I said nothing about being omniscience, or omnipotence, or being omnipotent. Jackass.

I am god and i own you all! MUAHAHAHAHAA

Re: Re: Make me a god
 

he never said that he was a god. he said that he wanted to be a god. <=== look! i wrote it with a little "g" mwahahahahaha.

They could try to make you a god, but they're still trying to work out the kinks with the last one they made...

My god the erroneousness of that remark...being everywhere at once is onmipresent, not omniscient. Being omniscient simply meants that you are "all knowing/all seeing," which has little to do with being able to be everywhere at once.

Also, it doesn't matter if it's spelled "god," "God," "GOD," or "Imaginary nonexistant entity in the sky" because all of them (except for the last one) refer to me, and I care not whether you choose to capitalize my name or not. The last spelling refers to the non-entity mentioned in many religious tomes, including the bible, or if you want a more concrete reference, it refers to an arbitrary point in the night sky, somewhere to the left of the handle of the big dipper.

yes, satan?

yeah i reckon rm' should be a god - but i would prefer it if you went back to your old avatar, because i worship dogbert anyway, so it would make things easier.

I reamain an atheist.

That's near New York, right?

I used to think I was an atheist... until I realized I was god. :)

who needs bizzmod when you have radioactivegod?

rm for god!

Yes it is. And right next to State of the Art!

when i was in high school, we ran a campaign for my friend dave to be elected as god. think campaign posters with nixon-style hand-wavery and clouds. think policy statements like pink skies and blue grass. that one made us fairly reviled by a whole load of people of a religion i had previously thought to be fairly calm...

so, you're saying that you guys are far from the State of Confusion in which i currently reside?

Is you Life so miserable that you quest for a status that a sexless computer geek could never have?

I could go into a whole diatribe on why you are a complete dumbass, but I'm afraid it would go over your head just like the joke.

Ignore the infidel, rm'. I believe in you.


edit: inserted significant comma

welcome to the house rm', bring this god a sandwich and two virgins, or be at his mercy. Frist bring him a sandwich... virgins, bring the virgins first, and THEN the sandwich. If you do, rm' will deliver on to you a shinny new penny. Enjoy your penny, it will serve you well even if you do not realize it now.

i agree to the head!!

Thanks watadoo. No link to the Church of the Sub-Genius would be complete without a link to its sister faith.

http://www.ology.org/principia/chao.gif

hmm. Forum God? rm'

There should be more titles for members that can't go further than Forum King (Queen), and can't become Moderators.;)

Free custom titles for people with more than 5000 posts?