so I kissed another girl today....(L O N G)
 

but I already have a girlfriend. OK, ready for a long story? if not, hit that lil' arrow above pointing to the left, or if your 1337 like me, right-click-hold, drag your mouse to the left, release. :D

from here until the red text is just background details, and not essential to the tale, but are, i feel, rather important, and if you have time, reading it all would be best, but if you don't feel like it, o don't have time, just scroll down until you see red

anyways. OK, so I met this girl some 3 years ago at the softball fields where I work during the summer. We hit it off pretty good and we've kept in touch frequently online and whenever she is in town at tournaments I see her. her family is really cool, her little sisters absolutely adore me (I'm the big brother they never had basically) and for the most part, I am like family to these people (let's call them the smiths shall we?). OK, so like I said me and this girl are really close, really good friends close, not much more, or so I think. Well their last tournament where I work was the 4th of July, and they were all like "aww, now were never going to see you again until next summer" so I asked them where the state tournament was this year, and they told me (we'll cal said location, stateville). now stateville is about 2.5 hrs (well, 2 if you drive like I do ;) ) away from where i live, and about 1.25 hrs from where she lives (basically she lives about 45 min away from me, duh). OK, so i make the trip up to statesville to watch her play. Everyone there is all surprised to see me, and they all say hi and whatnot, and it is all good. (btw, the team loves me too. idk why, but the whole team, the girls, their parents, they seemed to have adopted me into their family, everyone knows me, i know most everyone, its a really good time). So I stay all day, watch her play 4 games, and its fun. No big deal. I

n between one game were sitting on a bench, and I was sitting on the table part, and she was sitting on the actual seat part, and she kinda layed her head on my knee, and i rubbed her back for her and held my cup of ice to her forehead to help her cool down, cause hey, its was like in the 90's (F) up there, and she was hot. Now me, with my 4 sisters and whatnot, think nothing of this really. I mean, she's hot, so I'm trying to make her feel better. it's all supposed to be harmless. and nothing happens then, it gets time for her last game of the day, maybe the tournament if they lose, and she goes and warms up.

I watch the game, they win (yippie). their next game is at 8 the next morning (yuk). Now I really want to see their game, after all, it is the state tournament!, but I mean, I would have had to get up around 5 to get their in time, and then it might be the only game they play, for if they lose, they are out of the tournament and i get to drive all the way back home. What ends up happening is the team gets a hotel and stays near the softball complex so they can sleep in a bit more, but Mr. and Mrs. smith have kids at home who are young (9, 12) who need them home to watch. Since my friend (let's call her...sally). since sally is staying in a hotel, her moms suggests I just stay with them, sleep in sally's room, and then I can come back with them the next day and watch however many games they play. So i do. No biggie I figure, I am, like i said, like family to these people, and they are like family to me. So i go back to their house with them, I watch some TV, the two youngest siblings (it's sally, and then 3 younger sisters in the smith family) come home, and they are just thrilled to see me. I mean, I got hugs and the 9 year old was kissing my cheek, it was great. I love those girls. So we kinda 'rassled around for a bit, watched the second harry potter, went to bed, no biggie. (that really had no point to the story, but maybe it does, idk, but it happened, so it goes here.

anyway...we go back up to statesvuille to watch their game. they win, but they have played the game with an illegal member who played in a tournament last week, have to forfeit. basicly a big shitpile, they got jipped. So anyways, the team is out of the tournament. This sucks. They fought so hard yesterday to get there,. :( Sally is upset, I give her hugs to make her feel better, it's cool. Some of the team goes home, some stick around to watch the next game to see if the team that jipped them wins or not, basically everyone goes their own way. Sally and I watch for a bit, then we decide to ask her parents if we can go to the mall and just meet everyone at home when we are done. I paid attention on the way yesterday, I learn quick, I know the way. They say it is OK, so me and Sally go to the mall. We hang out, have a LOT of fun. I got to help her pick out loads of cloths, two new belly button rings (which are really cute!) and even some thongs for her (like i said, were close). We kinda talk about her boyfriend (did i mention her and I are both in relationships? probably not, but that is _important_!). We talk about him a bit, why he, her boyfriend, couldn't come to any of her games. (He didn't go to one game all year, I went to as many as possible) We talk about some other things, and to me he sounds kinda passive aggressive and a bit sexist, but that's beside the point. I tell (jokingly) her she needs to dump her b/f and she can just date me, we get along, we like the same sort of things, its good (and we are really similar, like, she has no problem burping in front of me, we pigged out at lunch, we bought thongs together). A lot of stuff her b/f wouldn't do w/ her I think. So anyway, i keep joking about how she should dump him, take me instead (and it really was a semi-joke, cause she knows i have a g/f). She kinda jokes back "oh i should? if only i could" and we kinda flirt, tickles, lil hugs, hands around shoulders and waists all through the mall. we made a cute couple i think.

We finish the mall, and head home, a hound and a half drive (ish). We talk more, not about anything in particular, food, a lil about her ex b/f, music, and she is tired, so she kinda starts to sleep, which is fine by me, and we just drive. No biggie.

from here down is the real important part

We arrive home, and I kinda chill there (after she pries her lil' sisters off of me who thought they weren't going to see me until next summer). We watch some TV, then we both kinda decide its time to go. They are gonna eat dinner, she wants to shower then go to bed. I say my good0byes and get my hugs from the lil ones, and I give sally her hugs, we kiss each other on the cheek (no biggie), then some more hugs from sisters, mother, etc., and then i give another lil' sister a hug, then sally another one, and she goes downstairs to put something away, and I follow, just cause, and her mom goes by to the laundry room, and for the first time, tis just me and her. We give one last good hug, and we kinda have our foreheads together. "ima miss you" "I'll miss you too" "thanks for coming" "not a problem, I'll always come" more lil things like that, then it happens. we know her mom is around the corner, and her sisters around the other, but we slip in just the tiniest lil' kiss on the lips. It wasn't much, but it was still a kiss. And we go back forehead to forehead "stupid john" (that's what I'll call her b/f). and she says "i know" and we walk up the stairs. one last hug, kiss on the cheek, and I leave. an hour and a half later, I am home.

So here is the dilemma. We are both in a relationship, and we had a little kiss. And after how much we hung out, I don't think it was just a fluke, I think it meant something (a little yes, but still, something) to both of us. Am I a bad person? Idk, i mean, this hasn't happened before, well, it has, but I mean, idk, not like this. My girlfriend is really cool, don't get me wrong, I like her a lot, but then, sally. argh!

What are y'alls thoughts on this? (sorry for the super ultra long post. really, the story only takes like 2 minutes for me to actually tell.

It's up to you and sally to decide. You both have to decide who you would rather be with. Nobody else can make that decision but you two. If you would "rather" be with sally than your gf and she feels the same with you, then go for it.

a) wow you read fast!
b) i know, but I mean, I would feel hoffible leaving one girl for the next. That just isn't...right. I mean, neither is this, but, If we both leave our current people to be with each other, then what will stop either of us from doing it again. idk.
c)I e-maield her about it to, but she hasn't replied yet.

a) I just skipped to the "really important".:p
b) I know what you mean, but that's always how things are.
c) That's a good step to take.

a) cheater :p
b) damn :hang:
c) thanks, I thought so too. :D I woulda rather 'talked' to her more whilst I was at her house, but we couldn't've got away from her little sisters to be alone, and idk how much actualyl talknig woulda happened either. I wish I knew how she felt about this. Did it mean somethig to her? or was it just becuase it was kinda a "in the monet thing"? does she just miss her boyfriend and i was good enough to take his place for that half second? argh! dumb girls are so cunfusing!

do what you think is right.....and what isn't going to wear off in a week

well, i've known "sally" for 3 years, I've been dating my current g/f for about 7 months. No matter what I choose, I am thinking long term. I've only had 5 girlfriends. the first 3 were when I was in junior high, lasted than a month total between teh three of them. My last two have been long term, that's what I look for. (last= about 1+ years, current, liek i said, 7(ish) months.

I don't know what to tell you dlink.

A) I read the whole thing
B) That was a really shitty thing for you to do (kiss her)
C) You HAVE to tell your current girlfriend

Im in a 11 month long relationship right now and a few months ago I had the chance to kiss a friend of mine who I liked for awhile, but I didnt because it is not fair to my girlfriend.
D) You have to put "Sally" aside for right now, because if you think about 'What if she doesn't want to date me' then your using your current girlfriend as a back up and thats really shitty and low. Decide if your going to stay with your current girlfriend or not
E) Good luck!

pm me if you wanna talk more or have any more questions or anything.

Wow...sticky situation.

On one hand, you could be viewed as very "Jerry Maguire-ish" in the fact that you're having one on "standby" while you have the other one. (Basically, being with both to see which is better, then making that choice.)

On the other hand, everything happens for a reason. There are those that may think you did very wrong for kissing her and then there are those that will think you actually restrained yourself very well for not doing more. (Trust me, if you guys really wanted more, it could have happened.)
Anyway, you have to decide who you like better. Sally seems like a pretty decent girl, and you both have level heads to understand that you can't really do more while you're in your current relationships. Think of it like this... If your heart really wanted to be with the current girlfriend, then the kiss with Sally wouldn't have happened. That's just my thought...

Or, it could be another fluke in time that goes unlooked like so many others.

Let us know what she thinks. ;)

See which one gives the best blow jobs and go with that one :up:

Sex!
love!
like this idea!

Reminds me of the world's 3 most common lies:

1. I love you
2. The cheque's in the post
3. I won't cum in your mouth

Read it all, dilema vill huh?

Personaly I would have to say that her boyfriend sounds a creep, sexists almost alwase are. You have not told us your fealings towards you current partner, so I carnt judge between them.

The only thing I can say is this, dont tell her about asking the forums what to do, some people would find that offencive that you were telling "People you dont realy know" about your relationships.

I trust any man that thinks with his dick! I'm a whore!:eek:

I did tell my girlfriend. That as one of the first things I did when I saw her. She asked how my weekend was (she was away on vacation) and I told her pertty much what I said in my first post, well, you get the idea. I told her we kissed, but that it was just a little goodbye kiss. We are very open. As for teh stand-by thing, that was the situation I was in when I was choosing to go out with my current girlfriend. It was her, and there we two other girls who wanted to date me, and I was semi-interested in al of them, but I was mostly interted in my current, so I 'choose' her. It was not a fun situation, and I don't want it again. That's part of the problem.

and jones, widdy, i love you guys and all, but please, this is causing me a lot of sress, and shit joke coments don't help me. :mad:

Joke?, who said anything about it being a joke? I've used the "blow job rating" to choose who to go out on an evening with on more than one occasion :)

And stress?, c'mon get with the plot, I'll let you in on a little secret, your suffering what 99.9% of most men do at one point in their life, your wanting to have your cake and eat it.

So you made a bit of a pass at someone else, won't be the first person to do that, and I guarantee you won't be the last, it's what you choose to do about it that matters.

Stick with your current woman and put the other one out of your mind or go with the other one and put the current one out of your mind, whatever happens aint going to have that massive an impact on your life just now, ok , if you go with woman2, then you will feel like a shit for doing the dirty on your current woman, but hey, if you feel that you've made the right descion in the long run then you will soon get over those feelings.

Wait till your in your mid 30's, married with kids, mortgage and a dog and you have the same conversation with your wife then about "mellisa at the office", wait till she has you thrown out of the house, restricted access to the kids and she's bleeding you for half your income every month, then you can start to stress, in the meantime, just go with the flow.

Your how old again?, I forget, I'm guessing your young, go out have some fun, see some of the world and the experiences it has to offer, and if that means trading one woman for another, then so be it.

Life and love is as difficult and as complicated as you wanna make it.

oh sure, go and make sence you...you...maker sencer. :igor: I spose your right, but I mean, I hate hurting people's feelings. That what is stressing me out the most. In the end (i fear) I'm going to haev the tell one 'srry, not you' and that is going to suck. I am afraid of losing both as friends in either situation too.

I never joke about what attracts men! Never...well, almost
and for those of us who tease you, we have lived just a little.
People come and go (pun that to death if you want)

You know I make sense, that's the beauty of experience :)

Yeah, ok, it's a shit to hurt peoples feelings, but somedays you have to put your own first, and if that makes you a little selfish, then so be it, everyone and I mean EVERYONE at some point or other thinks of themselves first.

Somedays you just have to bite your lip and get on with it, make the harsh descion, go with what you wanna do, and if it dosn't work out, then hey, chalk it up to experience and move on in life, somedays you just gotta do it and worry about the after effects, after they happen.

Dr Jones love surgery at your service :)

Is that a compliment? :D

So you kissed another girl...

It's a male instinct/desire to have as many mates as possible and it's that desire's clash with social rule that is causing you the problem and you stand at a crossroads with a couple options, you just have to remember that for every action there is a reaction(or consequence) {laws of physics/ The matrix2}

1. Go with the "long time friend"
CONSEQUENCE: 1.You lose/hurt current girlfriend 2. if it doesn't work friendship is ... well... done for.
BENEFIT: You have known her longer, and from the emotions you express, you match her very very well.

2. Stay with current
CONSEQUENCE: you risk losing what you describe to be a soul mate (how many guys do you know WILLING to go shopping with a girl?) and perhaps odd tensions with the GALFRIEND. Also, current girlfriend will always fear you running off with another girl.
BENEFIT: no one is "hurt" except for perhaps you who will long to know what would have been if you had chose otherwise.

You have said you are in this for the long term so keep this in mind: You are gonna live with this person for the "rest of your life" so be picky; hurting someone's feelings now will cause pain for only months, a period of time that pales in comparison to the "rest of your life" Plus, it would be better for the both of you, whoever the other is if you did what you want and did it quickly. That's my 2 cents.

and umm... how do i stop being a "junior member"... reminiscent of being young but...

Let the pimp juice in ya take over. Two is always better than one, no?

But seriously, I mean I think you and "Sally" really have something special. You have to follow your heart. No matter how hard it will be, you just gotta do what your heart tells ya. Good luck dlink.

Alright, my reply is kind of long too, dlink, beware!

Well here are my thoughts on this subject...(so many have already replied and I don't know if I'm really daying something new but I wanted to show you that I've read it all :) )

Well, from what I can read in your post is that "Sally" seems like a very special person and (at least at the moment) more important to you:
This pretty much says it, doesn't it? Now you have to be sure that this isn't just the feeling ofr a couple of days, that you just felt flattered for a moment because of the flirting going on etc. and it seemd perfect - but only for this one shopping day. You should be pretty sure that you'd remain feeling that way about her for a while. But it seems like you do because it's not only a new aquaintance but you've known her for a long time and little habits or her burping don't disturb you so she seems to be the better choice because you seem to be rather with and thus happier with her.

The only thing that you mentioned that would keep you from breaking up with your current gf was that you don't want to appear mean or hurt her but you never mentioned something like "actually I love my current girlfriend more and don't want to lose her" so your way you express yourself about her shows that you probably like her a lot (that's why you don't want to hurt her) but there's not that much holding you really back....about the "leaving one for another" thing, I as a girl would be hurt if my boyfriend left me for another girl (who wouldn't be?) but I think it would be worse if he just stayed with me not to be mean and regrets not being with the other girl! Of course if you chose to be with her and you can be sure to forget baout Sally, go for it! Above all, you should be honest to your girlfriend (I think it's good that you told her) and when you make the choice to be with sally, you should tell her right away, atnd by situations are at least as bad for the girls too!

But even if you'd rather be with Sally and she doesn't want to have a relationship with you, you should consider ending your relationship wiht your current girlfriend because since you're looking for a long term relationship and you just "like her a lot" but actually someone else a lot better, she not the one to have a long distance relationship with anyway. That sounds harsh but if you really feel like it sounds in your posts about her, something like that would have happened sooner or later.

Of course I could be horribly wrong but this is just how I percieved your feelings from your posts, don't be mad at me when I got this all wrong, I'm just trying to help :)

Please keep us informed and feel free to PM or e mail me anytime if you want to talk :)

Good luck with whatever decision you're making!!!

Mia:)

thank you all for your advice, I think i made a decision. i'll let you know how it goes.

well then....I broke up with my girlfriend, oh abuot, a minute ago. She didn't seem to take it too well. I wanted to talk to her in prson, but she demanded i tell her what was bothering me 'now' so i did.

The way I figure, I am not ready for the sort of long-term relationship I thought i was. I just got out of one when I got into the relatinship I just ended, and I think maybe i jsut wanted what I had with me ex g/f back. Stupid me. This wasn' the first time I had thought about other girls, this is, however, the second (well, third) time I've acted upon those thoughts. I told her it wasn't fair for either of us to be in this relationship, not if I was going to have to pretend that I was 100% comfortable with it, and 100% ready for the one girl only mentality. I think that I am going to try single life for a bit. I'll talk to 'slly' and we'll get things straight between us, and I think all will be well. I really do think that single life is what i need. I am too immature to try to stick with one girl at this moment. I thought I was ready, I was wrong. I feel horrible about breaking up with her, but I figure, better now than later, when perhaps the kiss woudl turn into someting more, not necessarly with sally, but with any girl, becuase like I said, I am immature, and I can't control myself.


It sucks being 18. :(

It's good that you have made a decision dlink, and I hope the best for you that is was the right and best one for you. And now, go out and enjoy yourself, have fun with your friends, try to think of other things!
No, you just haven't met the right girl yet :) (This sounds cheesy but it's true)

Anyway, good luck once again and don't be too sad dlink, I wish I could cheer you up somehow...

Mia:)

bah, I'm 17 with a 16 year old angel. :)

you might have dodged a bullet this time, my friend, but be wary of your desires in the future. if it hurts this bad now, don't let it happen again. and above all, be faithful, because if one or the other can't trust one another in a relationship, there's really no point, is there??

but good luck dude, I hope it works between you and sally.

(I didn't read the whole post, btw. I'm at work :))

I'm jealous... I'm 18 and I haven't had a girlfriend, I haven't even kissed a girl.
I feel like a freak.

Don't. One of my best friends is 20 and has never done so. He looks good and is intelligent but only has never met the right girl. I would never consider hima frek and don't think you're one either from what I've seen of your posts :)

Mia:)

You obviously haven't been reading that closely... (I'm talking about myself, not your friend)
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....18#post1026018
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....07#post1025107
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....83#post1024983
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....26#post1024826
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....35#post1024135
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....19#post1018819
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....42#post1018542
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....38#post1017538

So? :weird: I don't think any one of these posts makes you a freak...actually I find some of them quite funny and liked the one about being special. I knew most of them posts and usually what I read I read quite closely but not all threads. Maybe I hang around too may weird people but you don't seem freaky to me, sorry :D

Mia:)

Wow... one more person that doesn't think I'm weird... That brings the total up to... 1.

heh, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 18 or something and I didn't have a real girlfriend until I was 21, I'm 25 now and I'm currently in the third real dating relationship of my life (I love her to death :D) so don't sweat it. Some of us are just late bloomers/much more picky/shy etc..

Dlink, I think you made the best choice for yourself right now. Hope you feel better about it.

hmm, i've been in an almost similar situation. Xcept that i know my sally better, and see her at school. And that i slept in a boat with her *was on a school trip*. I gave her this little kiss, and we slept pretty close... She was cold, and i kept her warm with putting my sleeping bag on hers... (thus lying with my legs on hers..) Anyway. My "sally" knows my current gf very well, and they are pretty good friends too. When i told my gf she shocked, and cried. But she was happy i told her. I'm still with my old girlfriend (almost 10 months now)
So you should probably stay with your current girlfriend. If you really liked Sally that much, you would've never chosen your current gf, but went after Sally 24/7.