Please Read: I Don't wanna' lose my house
 

This is a little long but PLEASE read it.
So...I've been through a really rough year. At the beginning of 2003 I got a job at a local jail, as a property clerk. I did a great job, and all the cops, sergents, liutenants, and other staff liked me....except for this one lady. So, she started spreading rumors that I was stealing jewelry, and stuff like that, from inmates personal property. Of course this was a lie, but according to sheriff's office rules, if anything like that is mentioned, and stuff comes up missing....you lose your job. So...naturally stuff comes up missing, being a PRISON PROPERTY ROOM! The prison was built to hold 896 inmates, and there were about 1350 in there at the time. Stuff was constantly getting lost, and it started way before I started working there, according to other people I got along with there. So...I lost my job.
After that, in July, I started working for a company which has promised me a very good salary, but they needed help starting up the business side of it. So I spend months developing their web page, and basically became the media director. This company has been around for years and is a HUGE worldwide helper of poor people. So, the government was going to write the company a grant, for the public service we had done, and so we could buy offices, and start being a more organized business. The president of the organization promised me a paycheck within a month of getting hired.....yet.....here I am 6 months later and I still haven't been paid. I was working like 60 hours a week for this company, and they keep saying "next week we have some money coming in" and....it keeps being told to us :next week! next week!" So....I wonder when next week will come.
I have drained my life savings on paying bills, and paying hospital and doctor bills for my new son. I have gotten sick, but can't affor a doctor. I am having horrible withdrawl symptoms from trying to quit an antidepressant (*****) I was prescribed, but have run out of. ***** is going to be pulled from the market soon because of it's major side-effects. Search google for ***** side effects. It's pretty horrible.
So now I'm out of money, and physically in too much pain to leave the house on most days, due to the withdrawls. My house payment was due 3 days ago, and I'm not even near to getting enough to pay it. I don't know what to do. I don't have any family that can help me. I have tried as hard as I can in life, and always tried to help and protect other people, but as a result I let a lot of people step all over me, and now I am in a horrible spot, for not trying to take care of myself first.
Anybody have any advice? I feel like the worst father/husband in the world, and the thought of us being homeless doesn't help it much.
Sorry to trouble you all, but thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Joel Lindow

That's rough. Kinda sad that people with big hearts always seem to have bad things happen to them.

If you have a PayPal account, you could post it on your webpage with your story, maybe somebody here with extra money could help.

I really hope that everything works out.

All I can say is that the company that owes you a paycheck is being pretty gay about it. Sue the shit out of them - you'll get your money that way.

That is terrible. If I had the money, I'd send it to you right away. All I can say is to think positive and don't loose hope.

NAh. I don't have a paypal account. Pretty soon I might not even have a mailing address. I just wish I had some way to make it this month. By next month I should have a job, and be done with the withdrawls....according to medical reviews I've read on the net. But.....Damn......it's just so hard. All I've ever wanted to do was help other people (hence the 6 months of holding out on the job that helps tens of thousands all over the world). But...I guess it was foolish of me to live my life for others. If I'd been like the average person and lived just for myself and my wife.....I probably wouldn't be in this situation but.....I wanted to make a differance. Sounds stupid huh?

Not really. If everybody lived life for themselves, many more people would be colder and hungrier. Think of the countless people who run homeless shelters, food pantries, soup kitchens, etc. and all the people they effect in a single day.

I respect people who live life for others more than anybody else.

thats definitely not stupid of you. the world needs more people like you who are willing to help others. i really hope everything works out for you. you can talk to me anytime you need someone. good luck.

Holy Jesus, I thought my life was going bad. I feel so sorry for you man. I wish I could help you somehow with some money or something, but I can't. If you want to talk or something hit me up with a PM or e-mail me at S-uper_T-oast@iname.com. I know what you are going through with that ***** withdrawal stuff, one of my freinds was prescribed ***** and when he was taken off it he was completly fucked up and ended up commiting suicide... I think their is some sort of legal case going on about that were you can get money for it, but I am not sure... I don't know how you could go about finding out something like that in your case, but my freinds family got a good amount of cash in some type of legal settlement.

Finally I would just like to say to that no matter how bad things get, they will get better! Withdrawal is probably one of the hardest things to go through, especially for a drug like ***** that messes your body up so much... You'll get through this!

Hopefully things will look bright for you and your son in 2004.

That sucks so much. Don't you have relatives, family that can help you pay your bills until you can financially recover? Bankruptcy really sucks, usually if you can figure it out, you can file for bankruptcy and (I think), keep your house. But if you file for bankruptcy, its hard to get a good credit rating afterwards. :(

Seek the first suggestion until you can settle in a better financial status. And you should find some way to get your hard earned cash from those robbers!

I'm incredibly sorry for what's happening to you. I'll keep trying to think of anything I can to help, but couple of things I noticed about what led up to your situation...

First, I worked for BI, Inc. and then CorrLogic in Boulder for about two years, so I'm somewhat familiar with the screwed up office politics of corrections facilities. I've played corporate politics for 13 years now, and learned long ago that nice guys finish last in the game (i.e., get fired first), so I've always stepped on people who were about to step on me. In your example, if a rumor someone starts can get you fired, then use it against them first (as soon as you notice them doing it). Use whatever tactics are necessary to degrade her character and force a slightly stronger rumor against her than she's using against you. If you're effective at "the game", then when shakedown time comes, she'll be the one to go. It's nasty, but sometimes it's the only way to keep a job in that type of environment.

Second, regarding "promises" that were made about paychecks...note Rule #1 Of Business: If it's not in writing, then it doesn't exist. Them "promising" to pay you without signing a contract to that effect is just the same as them saying nothing at all. After about the 10th time getting burned at this, I came to accept it. Now, until I see ink, promises = nothing. If they don't give you ink, then they never intended to pay you when they said they would. Seems cold to think of it that way, especially when you "like" the person giving you the promise, but it's the way it is.

Those are basically to help in the future, I hope. Now, for the present...

Concerning the treatment and medication you need: You may be able to apply for Medicaid. It would provide you with what you need to get you by. The last thing you need is to do without anxiety medication at this point in your life. If you can't function, then you can't do any of the other things you'll need to. Get medical help first...that's top priority.

Concerning the money: Can you possibly get an equity loan on your home to help you through? If not, how's your credit? A decent credit rating means you can get a signature loan to help you through. If neither of these is possible, then talk to your creditors. Opening a line of communication with them and telling them your situation will almost always result in them giving you some leeway to help you through. For instance, your mortgage holder may allow you to only pay interest on your home loan and let the principal wait until you can make full payments again. Work with other creditors as well in the same way. Maximize resources and minimize expenditures....that's your target in order to make it financially.

And please don't feel like a worthless husband/father. The fact that you're not giving up means you're a fantastic husband and father. Determination to provide is the measure of a good parent. Not the ability to provide. Because anyone can come upon hard times. Being there doesn't mean you're any less of a person. It just means you have an uphill battle to fight. The only way to come out of this is to not give up, no matter how hard it gets! If you keep persevering, you and your family will come through this just fine.

Best thoughts and wishes...

~ Chris

Joel, hon' there's got to be an emergency help number that you could call, someplace that could direct to an agency that could help you out.

Scor's correct about the medicaid. Go back to that office and get that straightened out for the Mrs and your son. All three of you should qualify on an emergency basis.

If you have a church that you regulary attend, ask the pastor about outreach programs, churches usually will have a list handy for parishoners in need. Heck, they might be able to help you out themselves.

Once you get stablized, it'll be time to priortize. Family first. I know you've got a big heart and want to help people, but, your wife and son must come first. Right now, take a job, any job. Get some income going into your house, state agencies will be quicker to help you if they see you trying to get work.

Take a deep breath. It'll take some effort, but, with some asking around, help will be right around the corner.

Take a cold glass of water and think things clearly. At least that takes some of the anxiety out.

Man, that stuff about your losing your jobs is just BS. I hate it when people do that kind stuff to you.

Just keep in one thing in mind:

There will always be someone better and someone worse than you. No matter how bad you think you have it, someone always has it worse. So try to keep a positive mind; it will help you get your life back.

Hang in there buddy, we'll try to help you out the best we can.

Does yoour country not have some sort of housing relief or other welfare that you could apply for?

Also, you may want to get in touch with Citizens Advice (or whatever it is called where you live, if you have one), who may be able to give you some advise on the legal side of things.

I ordered that Free Government Money book a few weeks ago.
As soon as it gets here, I'll hit you up with some numbers.
This might help too
http://freeforvictims.lesko.com/
Don't let the URL fool you, its got some great services for everybody(americans and illegal aliens only)
If all else fails, me and Sarge can always hook you up down here.

where do you live nightwing?... it might be good information if someone knows the social security system of your state/country

EDIT: never mind, Denver.... sorry i can't help you out....

No offence, but this is why i like Northern Europe so much, in Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium. Norway... the system would have helped you out in a situation like this-

seriously, have you bend out in Neon how your situation is to your boss? if he fully understands your situation and are not willing to help out, he's the biggest idiot on the face of the planet!

Hey everyone,
Thanks from the advice. Sorry it's been so long on a reply, but I've been having some small ceisures and electronic jolts/sensory disturbances since yesterday afternoon. I'm glad it calmed down a little....for now at least. Man it hurts. Wish ***** had been honest, when putting their drug on the market, about the effects it has on people.
I have been slowly filling out some money to get involved in a class action lawsuit, but....I don't think it'll do much. probably will take at least another year to even see any success with that.
I have put in multiple resumes around town, for things I'm actually very good at, and have experience at. But...they don't want me because I was fired from the sheriffs office. I swear....if that crap wasn't in my hiring contract, I'd probably take legal action against the sheriff's office for Slander. But....it's not possible. They covered their butts pretty well.
Ugh.....I've been doing some photoshop work for some small business owners I know, over the last few days. I've managed to come up with about $600 from that, but there is no more work to do. So....only about $400 from making the house payment/homeowners payment.
I don't really have anything to sell. Our house was broken into about 2 months ago, and 2 of my guitars, 50+c.d.'s, all DVD's (about 80), and a lot of my stereo equiptment was stolen.
So...Thanks for all your advice people....any other help you can offer is always appreciated. you're all great people, and I wish I knew a lot of you in real life. Seriosly...thank you so much.

Joel Lindow

I know i'm new here just wanna say my heart goes out to you. That sucks so much the situation you are in. And from what i gather you're a relly nice guy so it sucks even more that it happened to you. Theres relly nothing i can say to make what you go trough any less painfull but just wanted to say that i hope the best for you and your family.

Sincerly
Michael

Hon, you are not the worst anything in the world. The truth is, the planet has fucked you over big time, but you will pull through because you are a good person. Now, I have never met you, but I can tell from the way you behave, you are a wonderful person.
You may or may not believe in Karma, but I think everything will work out just fine for you.

If I can help in any way I can, I will, I promise. I'm sure there are forum members here closer to you who could be of more help, but I will do what I can.

That is awful what that lady is done, if you can get me her e-mail, I would be more than happy to explain to her what she has done to one of my friends. Just because you dislike somebody does not mean you set things up to fuck them over when they have a newborn baby. Even when they don't.

Frankly, this enrages me. You must be able to get protection somehow, they can't just take your house away like this. There has to be a law or something. Read a law dictionary. There's got to be something.

This business does not seem to be run very well. Take it up with the manager, you can't live on air, you have a baby boy and he needs support. Not only him but yourself too! ***** withdrawals are nothing to be taken lightly, you need treatment.

See this is why I hate the USA sometimes. Look at the bullshit they force on their citizens. The healthcare system for one is bullshit. Two teir or whatever the fuck they call it, with getting the rich help first. Bullshit.

You won't be homeless, everything will work out okay.

It seems like there's more help out there for illegal imigrants than Americans these days. I don't qualify for anything, according to our local government assistance office......no clue why. But....they probably don't care.
Ugh......What I need is a check from like 500 to show up at my doorstep with a not that says "Thanks for taking care of others. Now that you're in need, I'd liek to take care of you. here's the rest of your house payment. And buy your kid some diapers"
Not in this lifetime.

On top of things....my baby's sick right now and he just won't stop crying. poor little guy breqaks my heart, and i'm hurting o bad from withdrawls...i can hardly feed him. but...been holding him all day. he's got a little fever. ugh.....life is not fun the last 13 months or so

C'mon guys, we gotta help this guy out.

Thank you so much but.......I don't want anyone to feel obligated to help me. I just posted to get some stuyff off my chest. Please don't anyone feel it's yoyr duty to ruch to help me. But.....god bless you all. you're a great bunch of people. Thanks so much for the support you've offered.

Joel Lindow

@ teh Nightwing: Check your pm's

I know this might sound trivial,
but for any debt you owe, like your house payment,
all it takes is one simple phone call to work something out.
I'm sure if you called the mortgage company or the bank,
or whoever you make your payments too,
and told them your situation, they'd be more than happy to work with you.
Believe me, no one wants to foreclose on a debt.
They loose money that way.
It's always in their best interest to keep you.
Just be honest.

I don't know what to say Nigthwing.. I'm praying for you and your family, and if I can do anything for you just tell me!
-your brother in Christ!

Good advice....thank you all

Dude seruously open up a paypal account or something like the kid who got sued by the RIAA!

i'll help in any way i can.

I can't donate any money (college + no job = 0 money) but I did what I could and cross posted this in both skinning sections. I think a few members there may be able to donate, but I can't make any promises.

Wow. That just.. sucks. :( I wish there was something I could do, but I don't even have any advice to give.

All I can do, is say that my heart goes out to you. I hope things get better, and if I can think of a way to help I'll do what I can.

(I could link to your site from mine if you like, I doubt I get very many hits, with it being thrown together in a matter of hours and all, but still. [not that I know how this would help...])

No money to start a paypal account. I mean....I have one to pay E-Bay transactions from a long time ago I think......but....I can't receive. and besides.......nobody would donate.....nor should they

Well ok but cant say we didnt suggest it. Hows the 'HOPE' money coming?

[edit]Yeah I thought you could open one no matter what[/edit]

Paypal accounts are free to make, Nightwing. And I'd donate if I damn well could, I swear to you.

Well...it seems I still have a PayPal account from back when I bought stuff on E-Bay...so. I guess I could receive donations that way.

I don't expect anything from anyone at all, becuae I know i don't deserve it. But...for those of you who have asked, here is the name you could donate to:

Joelthelobster@hotmail.com

that's the paypal account name so.....yup.

Thanks for all the advice everyone!

So, have you contacted your lender or boss yet? I deeply sympathize, but papadoc's right, especially if you're ruling out online donations. The only way out is to contact these people and try to work with them, and more than likely, your bank (or whatever) will make some accomodations for you. It would help if you could point to a source of potential income. By all rights, your company should be able to pay you some money to make a damned house payment, especially if they specialize in charitable work. The least they could be expected to do is take care of their own.

The other real world alternative is to put the place up for sale, hope it sells, hold out for a decent price, pay your bills and move into someplace smaller.

I surely hope things turn around for you, you've had a rough several months. I also hope your medical situation turns out okay, side effects like that are a horrible things.

Take care Joel. :( All the best luck in the world to you.

[edit] or you could use your paypal account. [/edit]

Yeah.....Now I have my paypal account open so....all you who said for me to open it....I did.

My Paypal account is: Joelthelobster@hotmail.com

so.......that's the name you can donate to if you feel like it. I feel bad for asking for donations, but it would help me save our lives, and a lot of people told me to so.....

Thanks all.
I guess it'd be cool if people linked this thread in other forums they visit, but....not neccessary. I'm trying to sell a lotta' stuff in the meantime.

Withdrawls have hit a new high painfull point, and having mini-ceizures every half hour or so, but....I think it'll get better soon!

I'm really sorry to hear about this Nightwing, I would gladly donate to you, but I'm really strapped for cash as it is. Maybe later on in the month, I'll be able to.

teh Nightwing - my thoughts are with you.

Dunno what to say, but best of luck man. The worst things happen to the best of us. :(

Man, If I lived in the USA I'd drive over to you and donate money myself. This is terrible, my thoughts are with you. Gods speed.