Winamp & Shoutcast Forums - Bate Master Screenshot

I've been asked to design a new interactive program that may become an industry standard; the porn industry anyway:p
While I haven't completed it, I do need input from you for hopes that all functionality will be available. Each button will be vocalized and direct a seperate corresponding function from the current model.

http://elchevelle.homestead.com/files/Bate_Master2.jpg
To this point, I have the following but ideas would be apreciated:
Button #1-"Please remove your top."[photoshop n00b 1]

Button #2-"Please dance while gyrating hips."[dysfuntional penis phase][begin prescription=******]

Button #3-"STRIP BITCH!"[skip all previous functions and proceed with program {foreplay 1}]

Button #4-"Can I hear you speak present day economics while massaging your breasts in a republican manner?"[deceptive rhetoric function]

Button #5-"Mrs. Shevall, we know how to use Winamp and expect to recieve sexual favors in exchange for technical information."[function2='operation sword swallower']

Button #6-"Using seductive older woman charms, remove my pants via mind control"[initiate spankmania]

Button #7-"Do what you will Ma'am, but allow me to walk under my own power afterwards."[Operation:Emptysack]

Button #8-"You are a vibrant woman but I seek more satisfaction, milady!"[Que bisexual husband alternate program masterbeta v0.2/AOL8.0]

Button #9-Still up in the air.

Of course, I've initiated a "Boss Aware" function that retrieves the latest NYSE website in case the overseer's interrupt.

In all seriousness, while it's being patented, I need ideas for the buttons which, when pressed, will initiate different actions by each model. The hardest part so far is finding models for each variant. They are lacking the literacy to understand that, if successful, the income could be enormous.
:)
Please help me get rich!