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From Wolfe Wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Tom Wolfe won for his novel I Am Charlotte Simmons. One choice excerpt reads:

"Slither slither slither slither went the tongue. But the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns -- oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest -- no, the hand was cupping her entire right -- Now!"

Now, normally I wouldn't criticize a person's ability to write sexy. It's like rolling your tongue: some people can just do it, some can't. However, if you are spectacularly bad at it -- like if you tried to roll your tongue and in the process swallowed your uvula -- then that merits some ridicule. I would argue that using "otorhinolaryngological" in anything relating to sex is spectacularly bad. Anything that causes you to stop reading the sexy talk and walk over to the dictionary is inherently counterproductive. Webster's New Collegiate does not really add to the mood. And "pectoral sheath" has all the sensual appeal of a Trapper Keeper.