Scared
 

When was the last time you where really scared?

What would you describe the feeling as?

What did you do to cope with it?

What are your tips for someone else in the same circumstance?


Fear is a scary thing, I'm very scared right now, I could really use some nice tips.

I got scared once, then she got her monthly visitor.

^^ Aunt Flo isn't such a bitch after all ^^

This is rather long, but VERY helpful and simple and directed at all of you, not just OP.

Fear is often healthy. It's the body's/mind's way of protecting itself from harm, a preventative measure taken to avoid undue fuckups.

If you feel you fear something that you shouldn't try this "ABC" model from "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy"

A = Actuating event
B = Belief and/or behavior
C = Consequence

The key is to change "B" so that "C" isn't as bad as it could be - or it could be good.

Let’s start with an easy case scenario:

A = Your wife/live in gf has the day/evening off work, but you don’t. She dresses up in an attractive outfit and leaves just before you leave.

B = She’s going to look for or meet another guy. She doesn’t even dress that well for me. She’s a two-timing whore that is wrecking our relationship. I better tell her to come back and put on some sweats or something; fuck I’ll just tell her to stay home and tell her I’m expecting a delivery that she needs to sign for or something. Maybe I’ll ignore it this once, but I’ll still be suspicious.

C = Loss of trust in relationship, related problems, distraction at work or when apart always wondering where she is or what/who she’s doing…

You can’t change “A” because it’s in the past, so we work on changing “B”.

New B = (a better belief or behavior) She’s going to the mall or out with friends and wants to feel good about herself, and hey, I heard that many times ladies will dress to impress other ladies more often than they will for men, even if completely hetero. She has the day off and wants to be free and celebrate. Maybe she’ll even do something nice for me when I’m at work and have it ready for when I get home.

New C = Go to work with little or no distraction, look forward to when you can do the same, think about how you can rip that sexy outfit off and have some fun when you get home, continue a good healthy relationship…



Now let's try a tougher example using skry's situation:

A = Your condom broke just before your hose fired it's fire extinguishing shot, a shot that if divided carefully, could impregnate the whole damn town...

B = Oh fuck she's pregnant, I'm a father, my parents are gunna disown me, her parents are gunna have a wiener roast with my tube steak, and life as I know it is hell.

C = tell her to punch her stomach (yes, sad, but people do it thinking it'll work...), drink or get high to cope with the fear or in attempt of overdosing and aborting the baby, do poorly on school tests and nearly wreck the car because the mind is fixated on the distraction of her possible pregnancy...

Now, let's keep "A" at Your condom broke…
New “B” = She might be pregnant, but she can go to a hospital within 72 hours of the banging and take the medication commonly known as “the morning after pill”. Also, she’s not definitely pregnant unless a medical doctor confirms it, and she’s only fertile a short period of time during each month.

New “C” = Go to hospital and get the medication. See an OB/GYN doctor for real confirmation before worrying about parenthood and the wrath of her parents.

This is obviously not the perfect situation, but better and safer than the original.

/me reads forum title.
/me reads it again.

Toast---your out of the bin, you have to go back then your not so scared