Give me some ideas for a funny IRC script I am writing.
 

While in #*******, I got this idea for a "computer Tip" script. so far i have these:

Computer Tip #001: Don't ever try to plug your pecker into the power suply.
Computer Tip #002: If Windows keeps crashing, quit throwing stones.
Computer Tip #003: Don't use a sledge hammer on your pc when a stick of dynomite will work better.
Computer Tip #004: Just because it says 'start' doesn't mean it will start anything.
Computer Tip #005: Never buy a computer from Wal-Mart.
Computer Tip #006: On XP, if you want shortcuts on your start menu, set the "number of programs on start menu" to 0 then just right click on stuff and go to the pin to start menu option. that way the shortcuts will stay in that same position.
Computer Tip #007: A program called Trojan.exe is worth running if you don't know what it is.
Computer Tip #008: If you get an email saying "I fancy you, click to find out who i am" and it has an attachment, DONT BLOODY OPEN IT!
Computer Tip #009: RealPlayer cannot hold a flame to Winamp!
Computer Tip #010: When ripping a cd, it is best not to use the floppy disc drive as a temp directory.
Computer tip #011: If in doubt, DONT delete!!
Computer Tip #012: dll's are not to be messed with!
Computer Tip #013: NEVER read the liscence agreements on programs. Unless you have too much time on your hands or you like being bored shitless.
Computer Tip #014: On the net, when someone tells you they are 18, a girl and good looking automatically presume they are 60, male and are fat loners.
Computer Tip #015: Don't believe everything you read on a irc computer tip script.
Computer Tip #016: Don't trust working PS2 emulators.
Computer Tip #017: Putting porn or Warez on your web site might break the TOS.
Computer Tip #018: Asking for help on an IRC help channel doesn't mean you will get it. Especially if it's mental help you're after.
Computer Tip #019: Gator is evil.
Computer Tip #020: Winamp lovers go to webchat and flood in #*******.
Computer Tip #021: The "submit skin" button really means, "ETA to jealous ratings, 4 minuites".


I need some more!! I want at least 200 of them. Post your ideas here using the same format so I can just copy/paste. Thank you for your help.

"If you can see this message please insult your computer in till it gose off in a mood"
""congradualtions youve won" is not a garenty."
"Explorer is also better known as Exploader"
"Warning virus detected please deleat command program "USER""
"What are you doing Dave?"
"Computers will rule the world, (when they can fit there own plugs)"
"Real Player is great bloatwear!"
"if you can see this banner you havent won"
"Hit Ctrl+Alt+Del for a big suprise!"