sometimes i think too much. OR. do i or don't i?
 

i have a problem, and i want your opinions on it, ok?
i know, this is going to seem stupid to some for one reason or another, but i'm dead serious, and really, don't know who else i can talk to about this, since all my friends are biased one way or another on the topic
so here goes

last night my girlfriend revealed to me that she would not be, uhm, how do i put this, averse to sleeping w/ me at somepoint in the not too distant future (translation: as soon as we are assured sufficient time alone in an empty house)
now, up until i was presented with this fact, i'd always thought that, given the opportunity, i'd jump at the chance to sleep with someone. and given the fact that i love this girl, so much the better, but now, i'm not so sure.
for various reasons, i'm having doubts about whether or not i should do this.
here are the reasons i can think of, or at least, can think of a way to express intelligently
1)if there is another teenage pregnancy in her family, her dad is going to kill someone, and that someone will be me (her older brother got his gf pregnant when they were 19)
2)i'm a christian, have been all my life, but lately, i've come into my faith, so to speak. I've started to think about it more, think about consequences of my actions during life. I'm not a die-hard, fundamentalist, evangelistic christian, mind you, but b/c of my thinking, i'm worried about what might happen if i do do this. I've always been under the impression that sex before marriage is a sin, and now....
mind you, i have friends, many friends, who have slept with someone, and it no way changes my opinions of them, but i'm not sure if i'm ready to.

looking at this, i've presented two strong arguments not to, but as i said, i love this girl, and i do want to do it, but i'm still just not sure.
damnit

i DO think far too much, sometimes

Just play your cards as you get them. Prepare for both situations.

Since she has only hinted at it, she may not be giving out that many strong signals too, even for the near future, but the fact that she wants to means that she has been thinking about it, and about doing it with you, and that is agood sign in a relationship.

But the most important thing in this is communication. You need to make it clear to her that although you love her to bits, you may not be ready to go that far. She will understand, because she loves you.

And as for your mates who have already done it, how many of them are still in a relationship with the people that they have done it with?

ok this is my advice
1 make sure you have protection
2 THINK ALOT ABOUT YOUR CHOICES PRYOR TO ACTION
3 if you do have sex, acept all consiquences personaly.

Damn Vie, you really do have bad spelling:D
Well tell her that your faith is more important to you, and that if you two really love each other, you can wait a little while more. If however she does not accept this of you, you will know what really matters in your life.

that's the thing, sphinx
i'm not sure about that being true, whether my faith is that all important

and vie, you're right, i should be ready for all consequences, and i'm not sure if i am. if she became pregnant am i ready to be a father? i'm almost positive that's a big NO

bilbo, of my friends who have, i can think of four who are still with the person

Well it's time to decide, not that they cannot co-exist, but in your position, she isn't giving you a choice. It's Faith vs. Sex. And remember, you'll have to live with it, be it good or bad for the rest of your life.

That quashes my theory about them only wanting to get their ends away :)

You would be surprised how many teenagers make great parents. I know people who became parents at 16, and they are happily living together, and have fairly decent lives. But still, if you know that you are not ready, then that is fine.

The man speaks wisely, take his advice. If the both of you are really in love there is nothing that communication cannot solve.

Do not have sex to just have sex- wiat until you are ready. No harm can come from following your heart.

Beware... overthinking can lead to Republicanism.

It shouldn't have to be religion vs. sex. My beliefs are very strong for me, but (to put it crudely) that didn't stop me when I was younger. If it is a sin, I guess there will be a lot of people going to hell because of it, but I think it's better to interpret it as you should be in a loving relationship before sleeping with someone.

However, you shouldn't sleep with someone just to have done it - only when you and her are ready.

Another thing, you say you're worried about pregnancy (and who wouldn't be as a kid - a baby is something that would change your life forever)... but provided you use protection the risk is tiny.

Even better would be if she used the contraceptive pill which, if taken correctly, reduces the risk to zero.

Well, nothing reduces the risk to zero.

Personally, I'd say that if you are going to have sex, then she should be on the pill. There's no reason not to. I would also say that you should wear a condom, for a number of reasons. The pill should just be an almost-foolproof backup.

If you don't feel comfortable having sex, then don't. I turned it down several times and never felt as though I had cheated myself. I might have regrets if I had followed through, though.

BOINK HER!!!! WHOO!!!

but seriously... the opportunity comes up sometimes, and sometimes you just don't feel up to it. that doesn't make you more of a man, and it doesn't make you any less of one (don't let anyone tell you otherwise).
if you don't feel like doing the deed, just be honest. tell her you don't feel right about it at the moment, and that maybe you'll be up for it in a bit (please do let her know you mean this on a broader sense than minute to minute). but who knows? once you tell her that, she just might inspire the urge in you after all... in which case, i repeat,

BOINK HER!!!! WHOO!!!

[edit]and what's this crock i hear about faith? faith doesn't necessarily have to come into the picture. i've been in this exact same scenario, and faith had absolutely nothing to do with it.[/edit]

sometimes, actually, most of the time, i do my best thinking on my (proverbial) feet

the situation came up on sunday, what w/ my parents being out for the entire day, and whatnot
i chose not to
we were all set too, both of us having prepared for either outcome, and i told her that, while i loved her, i just didn't feel ready at the time to go through with it

thanks for the advice, guys

both she and i think that i made the right decision

Good stuff Huehue :)

IMHO you made the right choice - you had doubts, and that means the time wasn't right for you. When those doubts (and possibly her father!) are gone, then...

i say do it
do it in all 3 inputs
the brotherhood of man is counting on you
:p

I think that he has made the correct choice overall.

excellent use of the quote command mr. burnaway.

i feel flattered.