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rockouthippie · 10th July 2012, 08:13

John Carter. Meh... It's not a wonder Disney dropped a bundle. It's the formula blockbuster. Starts out a pretty decent story, then 20 minutes of ARRHG!!! KAPOW! SPLAT by a bunch of long haired scantily clad Irish guys, the girl gets a kiss. Somebody gets a gold cookie. The wookie growls. Fade out.

I found the 12 foot high aliens reminiscent of Jar Jar Binks, although not quite as far fetched. John Carter saves the planet, gets the girl... but we knew that before we started... It's remarkably similar to ERB's original work, but I'm not sure that's an entirely good thing. It's got some Disney comedy that's almost funny. Lynn Collins is pretty cute. Taylor Kitsch seems like a young Johnny Depp on Quaaludes. Willem Defoe as Tars Tarkus. Interesting choice. Not sure it worked. Without his face, DeFoe really might have been anyone.

You should probably spend a buck and get this on Redbox or something. 6/10. Wait for cable?

This movie looks expensive, but $250 million? Disney might break even.. probably not.. It's the franchise Disney was looking for. They were looking for a new Star Wars. I think we can safely say this ain't it.

10th July 2012, 08:13	#2
rockouthippie Banned Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Oregon Posts: 11,019	John Carter. Meh... It's not a wonder Disney dropped a bundle. It's the formula blockbuster. Starts out a pretty decent story, then 20 minutes of ARRHG!!! KAPOW! SPLAT by a bunch of long haired scantily clad Irish guys, the girl gets a kiss. Somebody gets a gold cookie. The wookie growls. Fade out. I found the 12 foot high aliens reminiscent of Jar Jar Binks, although not quite as far fetched. John Carter saves the planet, gets the girl... but we knew that before we started... It's remarkably similar to ERB's original work, but I'm not sure that's an entirely good thing. It's got some Disney comedy that's almost funny. Lynn Collins is pretty cute. Taylor Kitsch seems like a young Johnny Depp on Quaaludes. Willem Defoe as Tars Tarkus. Interesting choice. Not sure it worked. Without his face, DeFoe really might have been anyone. You should probably spend a buck and get this on Redbox or something. 6/10. Wait for cable? This movie looks expensive, but $250 million? Disney might break even.. probably not.. It's the franchise Disney was looking for. They were looking for a new Star Wars. I think we can safely say this ain't it.