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Old 25th September 2012, 04:10   #37
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^that happened to me once when I was in college. Instead of putting me on hold when she had to take care of something, a friend-gal from another college put me on the phone with her room mate, we connected, and then started calling each other a lot and AIM'ing. Things built pretty strong from there, but when I finally met her, it turned out to be exactly what you just typed. Like you, I had kept myself very presentable - washed behind my ears and used napkins instead of licking the barbecue sauce off my fingers, etc. I felt like a complete loser.

That's one of the problems with technology, and by that I even include the telephone. I suppose even mailed letters could do it too. The gal just pictures a man that looks as good or better than those in those chick flicks and then fantasizes something that is anything but realistic. It's like she's writing her own romance novel in her head while on the phone, or texting, or messaging, etc. to the point where no real man could measure up to the expectations. I'm sure that some guys do it too, so it's not necessarily a gal thing, although in your situation and in mine, it was.

Some things just need to be built face-to-face I guess. That keeps things real while allowing a lot of non-verbal communication too.

The big thing that needs to be said though, is that this particular gal, if after seeing you in person is really pushing you all the way out to "pluto" (to a state of platonic friends) after communicating that she was otherwise falling for you... she's shallow. The only way I'd back down from that accusation is if she were having a bad evening due to extenuating circumstances, or if you were reading her wrong from the start, something I doubt considering your quotes.

Well shit... before submitting this post, I found an old logged AIM conversation (I used DeadAIM to get rid of ads and to add features like message logging) and have always transferred everything from computer to computer. Here are some highlights separated by semicolons( ; ). You tell me if she was just being platonic:

remember you owe me a dance; i think your one of the best guys i know ted; thats ok, thats what i like about you, your honest; ted you are such a good guy and friend, who else would listen to me complain so much :-), [she wanted to help me celebrate the end of finals week] Im going to do something for you, i dont know, just something amazing, cause thats what you deserve; yeah I thought you looked good and its what is inside and you have just about every guy beat on that; you dont know how much that means; your opinion means a lot and i trust it, and thats not something i can easily do; now your going to make me cry :-); no its okay, cause your not causing sad tears; ah ted, thank you; see we're like medicine for each other :-) going to get your [Christmas] gift tomorrow, i was gonna get kristen’s but im not in the mood now; i cant wait till she [Sarah McLachlan] goes back on tour, you and me are going; i think i'll sleep much better thanks to you :-); your stuck with me now; nite ted, thanks again, a million

Well, the next time I saw her it was complete buzzkill for her for some unknown reason despite my presenting myself well. At least I never had to go to that Sarah McLachlan concert, not that it would have been all bad. Luckily I've since found someone better for me anyway, but it hurt like a bitch when she completely changed on me like that.

I totally get what you're saying, and I hope you recover well.

Oy. Now I've opened a whole can of worms, or Pandora's Box, or whatever, looking through these old logged messenger conversations. I'm reading shit that I haven't read in over a decade. It's going to be a long night.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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