Memorial To Robert Jordan

[apollos]

I spoke to him nearing a year ago now for the first time.

He was a cheery guy most of the time and he had a good heart, he was a great guy.

We would talk for hours upon hours each day and in the last few months of his life he would be depressed and low as he felt that he had no friends and that nobody cared about him at all.

The day he left was the day I last spoke to him. His parents were concerned about him being missing on Tuesday night and only late Saturday night / early Sunday morning had they discovered that Robert ended his life by jumping off a parking garage.

I spoke to his sister and at the moment they want to know about what could have led Robert to kill himself so I am giving them any information that they need so they can one day make sence of why he decided to end his life so early, at 17.

At church today I prayed for Roberts safe return, I'm not really a religious person at all but I prayed and I felt that God was on my side and that I shouldn't be so darn anti religious.

I came home to have an email in my account reading, "Robert is dead. Please can you email me any conversations you had with Robert the day that he left?????"

I froze and I sent another email back immeditaley asking how. I then later went to speak to Roberts dad's cell phone who was very sad and wanted me to ring the home phone so I could talk to the family but having only £4.30ish credit, my mobile would not allow it.

I am sad that people such as Robert can be so lost and crying so desperately for help and people just walking by ignoring the cry for help or just not bothering to notice at all.

Robert being gay also put a stress on him making him feel that he would not be accepted by his family and by friends which made him retract from people.

Robert, rest in peace. I hope that wherever you are, whether you are in the comfort of gods arms or you are happy elsewhere, I and others will remember your spirit forever...

R.I.P 1985 - 2002

[binary hero]

i wish i could say something here...my brain is numb...

All i can say is rest in peace, and i mean that from the bottom of my soul.

[GoldenSphynx]

Wow, I never really knew the guy that well. So I can't say a lot, but I mean, its like you see them the first minute, then the second and then theyre gone.

[Bilbo Baggins]

I will never forget him.

[bluetape2k1]

Thank you Andy

And Thank you MrE for allowing me to know you from Winamp and #*******, This guy was great, if you knew him you'd understand what I mean...

I think that its truely sad that he isn't here now..joking and fooling about with what he does best.

I know this world is not perfect and I don't know what his life was like but it would deeply crush me more to see anyone else past away

I treat everyone here like family..we have our ups and downs but I love you all and with previous posts you all know that

So from me MrE I hope you find your happiness with you now and right now I know you will be proud and happy to know what we are all thinking about you now and will never forget you

Take care bud and don't raise to much hell where ever you are

Your friend

BlueTape

[parksie]

I didn't particularly know him, but from the times I ever talked to him, he sounded like a nice guy. Somewhat troubled, and prone to getting worked up though.

At the time, I never understood why. In fact, it was only last night that I even knew he was gay, and what some of the troubles he was going through.

For someone to -- whether deliberately or not -- conceal that from people isn't easy, so kudos to the skill. But somehow I wish he could have said, and that I could have known him a little better.

Sleep well, Rob

[hgnis]

In this place, few can see where the road leads till they are at it's end.
A wrong step here, a falter to the right, the path changes.
A friend that could have been becomes another nameless face, but for a chance meeting.
Rashly things are said in this time, and like the hasty stroke goes astray.
A moments ponderance of one's actions are only what is needed, never forget.
There are only a few small smiles in this grim world, could you have put one on a stranger? Maybe the face could have been an unspoken kin...
Friend, Brother, Son, Soldier, Blood...
A mother is now without a son, what else has this place lost?
Someone once said it is easier to find a cause worth dying for than something to live for and to live a good life you should always act on emotion.
But then what is wrong or right in this place and time? And who is anyone to say?
All I know is a proverb from when I was a child: May God walk with you when you pass into the Shadows of the Dark places.....
If that path runs here, we will meet.
Isilar! Robert.
Our thoughts are with your family now....rest in the Land of no Shadow.

[patroclus22]

For the first time in my life, I honestly don't know what to say. Cliche as it sounds, my words are failing me right now.

He's at peace now, in a place where no pain will ever be able to touch him again. I only wish I could have talked to him one more time.

[Cameron221]

I give my condolances to my family.

[s1138]

i really have nothing to say..
except i will miss him.

[insomniac]

I can`t believe this. I surely will miss him.

[jaf1230]

I don't even know Robert... I'm just hearing of him first tonight.
He was just another person to me, but now that I'm hearing of this, even though I didn't know him, I'm upset by it

Although he took the "coward's way out", it still took courage. I mean real courage. To run away from home, to go off on your own, and to do such a thing...

We've all thought about suicide at one time or another. Almost all of us haven't had the courage it takes to actually do it. Robert was brave to be able to do this.


I can hardly talk about someone doing this, for I've thought about it myself, more than once.

My condolonces to his family and his friends. I've never lost anyone personally, but right now, my heart is hurting as if I have.

(Known as smeggle within this forum.)

How sad .I didn't know the young chap but it sounds like he had a bad share of problems.
I'm going to light a candle for him on my alter ,Place a couple of my crystals and my rose quartz in front .(not often I use the rose but I feel as if it is needed.)play some ambient goa as well.
My heart goes out to you all and especially to those who Knew him.I'm sad I never got the chance.
Take heart that in his choice he has found peace and his spirit will live on within your hearts I'm sure.

RESPECTS,
Mr.Anonymous,Freeparty posse, The true source of dance music.

[apollos]

I want to say a big thank you to Bilbo.

Robert had nothing but praise for Bilbo and would always be really happy when he would talk about Bilbo.

thank you.

[jaf1230]

Amazing how such a thing can bring those who care together, and how much it shows we care.
It really sounds like he had his share of problems. Like I said before, the coward's way out takes courage, too.

Rest in peace, Robert

[Ember69]

im gone for a few days and and.. i dunno.. i didnt know robert, but that does make me sad .. *sigh* cant take away what is already done.. maybe someone who feels like ending it all is reading all these posts.. ya know i bet anyone here would be glad to help save a life, its just human nature.

[c2R]

Something I wrote in another thread a few days ago:

I always feel extremely saddened when anyone I know dies - whether they're friends, family, or even a work collegue who was just an aquanitance rather than others in the office that I'd perhaps go out drinking with.

I can't say that I knew Robert very well - just from the odd post here and there that I came across, mainly because I'm not active in any of the Winamp IRC channels available.

However, this saddens me - particularly the death of someone so young with so much ahead of them to live for. My condolances to Robert's family and friends - I know from experience that the death of someone close isn't easy to take

[MetallichicA]

Rest in Peace, Robert.

I knew him only a little from *******, and he would always joke around with me and the others. He seemed like a happy-go-lucky person to me. It's terrible that you don't find out that someone's not as happy as they had seemed until after this happens. I wish I could have done something for him.



So once again, I really urge everyone to send a message to someone if you feel the way he did. And if you feel you don't know anyone, or that you don't have friends here, then pm me or catch me on IRC. There's nobody here that I won't listen to or talk to. I'm sure there are others who would do the same, too. If I knew someone here was seriously considering committing suicide, I would honestly drive to their house to talk to them.

Everyone here is worthwhile. Everyone here means something to someone. And everyone here has something to offer to the world, even if they can't see it right now.

[apollos]

Originally posted by MetallichicA
Everyone here means something to someone. And everyone here has something to offer to the world, even if they can't see it right now.

Very beautifully put

[Ember69]

agrees...

[jaf1230]

Yes, I feel that if anyone ever has anything important to say, they can tell me, and I'll listen.
firedevilsfriend on AIM
feel free to talk to me even if you don't have anything important to say

Once again, my condolances to everyone.

[Bizznatch]

This is all fucked up.

Why would anyone want to take their own life, no matter how fucked up one can think their life is, believe me, there is always a way out.

Committing suicide is just a childish way of "solving" life's hardest problems.

My only aunt took her own life back in 1993 by hanging herself from her garage door, she may have been under the influence of cocaine, but that's just a damn excuse.

Suicide is never the answer.

[jaf1230]

People think illogically and irrationally.

You don't know why you do it. You're angry and you're crazy because of it. People are crazy.

[Ian the Korean]

My condolences to everyone, this loss hurts a lot, and I know most of us here are hurting from it.

Its hard to accept, i was just talking to him less than 2 weeks ago, he seemed fine, was his usual self on chat. i just wish he had said something to me, told me what was wrong, or i had tried to talk to him more...

He was a nice guy, hardly ever actually got upset or angry with anyone. just easy guy to get along with, and I among others will miss him dearly.

I really dont know what to say, I'm just in shock, he was one of the last people I would expect to commit suicide. I just wish he had talked to someone about it, whatever was bothering him couldnt have been worth his life.


In Memory of Mister_E

I feel my heart breaking in two
Cant believe what Ive heard is true
I dont know what it will be like without you
You were there to get me through
helped me along when I felt blue

Why didnt you tell anyone?
How long did you suffer alone?
Why did you give up and run?
I miss you more now that your gone
And more with every passing dawn

You were a good friend to me
When I was blinded, you helped me see
Now my sight is stained and blurry
Why couldnt I help you when you needed me?
I regret I didnt listen completely

Your death is a great loss to us all
Some have broken down and bawled
I feel like I've hit another wall
Our sincerest condolences from Null
We miss you dearly, one and all

[Aero Zeppelin]

Stupid me. I should have read better. I didnt personally know him but i remember the name MrE. Anyway, I'm sorry for it. Anyone who commits suicide should be sent to jail.




Of course after they are dead they can't go to jail, and you also begin to respect how stressed and fucked up they were. Kurt Cobain will always be in my memories on the subject, and sometimes I start to cry when I even see a picture or think about him. It's terrible how these people who think they are getting a way out really make it hard on everyone else around them, their friends, family, fans. Not to say that this Robert wasn't a great guy (again, I don't know him) but it didn't have to end this way.

[Ember69]

Originally posted by Aero Zeppelin
Stupid me. I should have read better. I didnt personally know him but i remember the name MrE. Anyway, I'm sorry for it. Anyone who commits suicide should be sent to jail.




Of course after they are dead they can't go to jail, and you also begin to respect how stressed and fucked up they were. Kurt Cobain will always be in my memories on the subject, and sometimes I start to cry when I even see a picture or think about him. It's terrible how these people who think they are getting a way out really make it hard on everyone else around them, their friends, family, fans. Not to say that this Robert wasn't a great guy (again, I don't know him) but it didn't have to end this way.

yeah i get teary eyed when i see kurt cobain or hear unplugged, that cd puts chills down my spine
nothing has to end a certain way, stress kills its most(maybe) lethal drug pressure gets on ya and u keep tearing till you decide to tear the last thread.

Originally posted by Aero Zeppelin
Stupid me. I should have read better. I didnt personally know him but i remember the name MrE. Anyway, I'm sorry for it. Anyone who commits suicide should be sent to jail.




Of course after they are dead they can't go to jail, and you also begin to respect how stressed and fucked up they were. Kurt Cobain will always be in my memories on the subject, and sometimes I start to cry when I even see a picture or think about him. It's terrible how these people who think they are getting a way out really make it hard on everyone else around them, their friends, family, fans. Not to say that this Robert wasn't a great guy (again, I don't know him) but it didn't have to end this way.

when a person reaches this state ,they believe they are allready dead anyway.
They have nothing left as they truly believe that everyone wish's it anyway. as far as they are concerned who's is going to miss me ,no one cares ,no one understands .and yeah they call me a coward but that to the person comtemplating these acts is just another confirmation to there confused spirit.
I can say this openly because I have been there .I did take that step and if I had not been very lucky (A stranger once found me half comatose ) and no I wasn't crying for help !I hated every living person because of what I went through as a kid. IT was them or me .I choose me ,because no matter what anyone had done to me I could not hurt a person back.I wasn't a coward or anything and could fight if I had to. so I choose me ,self eradication, who cared anyway ?they all thought I was a bit of crap.
I'll leave it there but don't call the lad a coward or brave friends,he was just alonely lost frightened confused person and well he just couldn't make the effort anymore.
sorry guy's I had To post that for the kid' sake as i feel this kind of stuff brings all the one's who lost down and that is what I find really sad.
Got to go man I'm in tears
I really hate this kind of shit when it happens
I'm downtime for a while
respects laters
Mr.Anonymous.
FreeParty Posse The True Sound of Dance.

[griffinn]

Feeling rather numb...

Honestly, Robert's departure affects me even more than my uncle's passing away a few years ago. That's because I had the pleasure to speak to Robert daily-ish on #******* and found him to be a fun and wacky guy.

To Robert, this may be a liberation from the pain of living... but this would be harsh for the family. My thoughts are with them.

[Jon Deaux]

Tomorrows unknown.
Sorrows for one gone.
Too soon, my friend.
Too soon.
Via con Dios mi amigo.

[SSJ4 Gogitta]

Im once again listening to Key of the Twilight from the .hack//SIGN anime OST....

my heart and condolences go to him and his family.

'tis a sad day indeed.

[Xion(810)]

To Robert Jordan. Where ever you may be, here is a detication.

*turns the stereo up to full blast*

A long summers day
stetching out the cold
Searching for the answers
and some say I'm not alone

Could you tell me
where I might find
fallen horses
their spirits they fly

Blinded by the whiteness
staring at the sun
I'm wishing that I had wings
so that I could become one

Would you help me
if I wanted to die
I could ride off
with horses tonight

Tell me why
Why oh why
I said why
Why oh why

Now that I've arrived here
I know I'm not alone
All my friends among me
tell me welcome home
But could you tell me
where I might find
the one I'm looking for
cause her wings have arrived

Tell me why
Why oh why
I said why
Why oh why
Tell me why why why why oh why
Tell me why why why why oh why

AND that was Smash Mouth with "Fallen Horses". For you RJ, Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I hope you are happy. Ride with the zephyrs in heaven, and not with the nightmares in hell. amen, amen.

[steve]

I'd like to send my deepest condolences to Robert's family. Suicide is always such a tragedy because it's one of the few ways people die that could be averted.

I hope that his family and friends go on to celebrate his life and remember him for the joy and happiness that he brought into their lives.

With Love,
Team Nullsoft

[steve]

One side note... For those of you who wish to express a negative opinion, I urge you to keep it to yourself. If you choose not to, there will be those of us who will ensure that your opinion is kept to yourself.

This is not the time or place for immaturity.

-s

[Cameron221]

Originally posted by steve
One side note... For those of you who wish to express a negative opinion, I urge you to keep it to yourself. If you choose not to, there will be those of us who will ensure that your opinion is kept to yourself.

This is not the time or place for immaturity.

-s

Agreed.

Originally posted by Cameron221


Agreed.

_________________________________

"ditto"

[Bizznatch]

I never got to see a picture of him.

Anyone have it?

[Bizznatch]

[18:26] * Bizznatch [Radio Bizz] Staind ¤ Waste ¤ 3:56 ¤ 160kbps ¤ 44.1kHz [Radio Bizz]

[Slidje]

no
just
no
never got to finish sending him that song

FUCKING HELL NO

<Robert^> what is this?
<Slidje[site]> moozic
<Robert^> and its biiig
<Robert^> who is it by?
<Slidje[site]> faultline
<Robert^> oh
<Robert^> why aer you sending it to me though?
<Slidje[site]> chooooooooon
<Slidje[site]> and i like u
<Robert^> okay
<Slidje[site]> http://turrican.decksix.com/phpBB2/v....php?p=974#974
<Robert^> someone set up us the bob
<Robert^> what is that??
<Slidje[site]> all your base..
<Slidje[site]> you never seen it?
<Robert^> no

faultline - mute

[SNYder]

Was he a member of these boards? I haven't been active enough, I guess, to every remember seeing his posts? What was his name here?

[ctn|chrisw]

The memorial is at http://www.chrisw.us/robert/ if you have anything to add let me know..its a big file. R.I.P robert