Is it possible to love two persons

[ertmann|CPH]

I've thinking an awfull lot about this, and talking to many of my friends about this lately, and i'd love to get some extra input....

The thing is i had this relationship for a couple of months with a Canadian girl from my programme on uni, then she broke up with me, but we remained very close friends. Allthough things got complicated cause i still loved her, and then it's really hard to be friends. Finaly things blew up two months ago, after i had an argument with her new boyfriend. So she stopped talking talking to me, and i got a new girlfriend, whom i've been with for about a month now.

I really think i love her, and i love spending time with her, and being with her brings a smile on my face everytime. But everytime i see my ex at school i just get sad and depressed that we're not talking anymore. And i think about her (my ex) and awfull lot.

That's not right is it? i mean if i truely love my new girlfriend, why would i feel this way about my ex? is it really possible to love two persons at the same time?

ahhh les complications de l'amour

shoot ahead.....

[cyu]

Well i think your feeling the withdraw effect with your ex. I mean everyone who loses something they love should feel some sort of sadness and then overcome it. I doubt she'll stay that mad at you since you did say you two are "close friends". I think it's ok that you love 2 ppl, just that you stay intimate with only 1.

[sgtfuzzbubble011]

Well, if she chose to break up with you, then you're better off without her. Spend time and be happy with your new girlfriend.

[Bilbo Baggins]

You are just taking time letting go, and thats ok. I do not hink you are in love with her, because you wouldn;t be with your current girlfriend and talking about love if you do.

Of course, if you managed to organise menage a trois with them both, then thats good.

[cyu]

bilbo: www.iespell.com

[iomegajaz]

cyu: www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=menage+a+trois

Stefan: I know how you feel, having been there before. I'm with Bilbo in thinking that you're just not quite over your ex, and spending more time with your new girl will help you to realise why you're with her, and not your ex. Best of luck - it's never easy. =)

[ertmann|CPH]

Originally posted by cyu
I doubt she'll stay that mad at you since you did say you two are "close friends". I think it's ok that you love 2 ppl, just that you stay intimate with only 1.

Oh yes she will, trust me, but it's probably for the better though, don't think i could manage being friends with her right now anyway.... God have we had many arguments

And yeah, letting go, eh?

It's just, it's been allmost a year since we broke up (and we were not together for that long), and she's been with her new boyfriend for 6 months.... i should have let her go by now. hmmm I really don't understand myself on this one....

I guess you're right though, I hope things get better soon, cause im really frustrated with myself

[White Raven]

I believe it most certainly is possible to love two people, I'm stuck in that.
As we all know, I'm sure, I'm with Idiot from these forums. But before him there was Eric, and I guess I'm still not fully healed from that experience just yet. Most of the time I have absolutely no emotional response at all when I think of Eric, but sometimes, late at night, the past comes to haunt you. I guess I do still love Eric in some way, he was the first person I ever felt for who returned the feeling, so he was bound to be a profound influence on my life.

Then again, I guess I can't be feeling for Eric like I once did, because I know that even if he came up to my doorstep right now at this moment, I would not go with him like I once would have. On account of many, many things.

I still love him, and I am in love with Idiot now, so look, there's two people right there. I guess I love them both in slightly different ways, but there's strong emotional bonds to both.

[iomegajaz]

The best way to get over a girlfriend is to have a new girlfriend. If that new girlfriend takes a year to appear in your life, then the "getting over your ex" process will have been postponed for, oh.. a year, probably. =)

I think another thing is that it sucks to part on bad terms, and you want to make things right between you and your ex, right? Well, if things were to be made right between you and her, you'd probably be with her again. Which you shouldn't want. =) I hate having people dislike me, and knowing that a few do, kills me. But it's necessary sometimes.

Originally posted by White Raven (sic)
I am in love with Idiot

LOL that's beautiful. =D

[ertmann|CPH]

see what you mean jaz...

it's just, we've been so close that she can see how/what i feel just by looking at me, and vice versa. Alot of the time we even know what the other part is going to say.... i've never experienced that with anyone else. And i don't think i will.

I think that's why we both faught a long fight for remaining friends, even though it got so complicated that we pretty much argued everytime we were together.

And that's why i'm so confused, if that's love, i've never loved someone before, but i think i have. If it's not then we should be able to be friends.....

I think what i'm going to do is just staying away from her for a long time, a year or so, and if i'm still with Carina then, and still feel that i want her friendship i'm gonna write her a letter or something....

[White Raven]

Originally posted by Hugh[jaz]
LOL that's beautiful. =D

Oh, shyaaaddaaaap.

[Bob the Tomato]

I think it's only natural for you to feel that way when you see your ex. Letting go of someone you were close to you is never, ever easy. It may take a very long time for you to finally bury your feelings. For example, and I know it's more extreme than this, but in Byron's In Memoriam, he details the four year process of getting over the sudden death of his best freind and would-be brother-in-law. It will take time to get over your old feelings toward her, but don't dwell too much on them, because then the feelings may not go away, and further complicate your relationship both to your ex and your girlfreind.

[anubis2003]

I love my gf beyond what I would've thought possible. There is basically nothing that she could do to ruin this love I have for her. But I've told her that if I found someone I loved even more I would leave her(although I don't think this person could exist). I would still love her, but I would love my new gf even more. So to answer your question - I think it is possible to love two people. If only polygamy was legal...

[meaisl8again]

The man that I am in love with has had a prior love, but the feelings for her, as I understand, are muted out now... he know that he'd still love her if I wasn't in his life. Does that make sense?

So I think it's possible to love 2 people.

[ShyShy]

Re: Is it possible to love two persons?

Yes, it is. Because you don't love the same way twice


Edit: Had to delete the rest of my rambling, made no sense whatever *damn blond moments*

[OutKast]

I think maybe you should watch or read the classic french film or book "Jules et Jim" Its about a woman who loves 2 men at the same time, and how it eventually leads to their demise. Altho the film is pretty random at times.

[apola_anamisha]

So what do you think?Your x-gf also feels samely 'bout you?I mean somewhere in her heart is there still a place for you?
Try to figure out!Have a formal meeting with her.Like wishing something or you may need something from her or so on & try to guess.........but don't let her understand that you still fell for her!
Who knows it may be a happy new-beganing!
May be she is also feels for you.........just like you......you never know.After all you've(had?) chosed her so she must be like you.......sorta introvert.
But be honest!Like you go back to your x & then cry for the present one..........you know ,not fair!

[missyob]

Yes, It is possible to love 2 people at the same time. I had my true love once. We were together for 6 years and then left him because I thought "The grass was greener on the other side". We are still friends because we always had a strong friendship. It is so difficult for me when he is dating other women. I have never let him go from my heart and I think that is why I have stayed single for so long. He is in my heart and other guys just dont match up to him. There is no easy solution for you, your heart is really in one place but you want to give your new girlfriend what she needs also. The best thing for you and your new girlfriend would to let your old girlfriend go. No matter how close you are with her discontinue any kind of contact with her or you wont be able to nurture the love you feel for your new girlfriend. I know it is not easy and my heart goes out to you hon.

Big Hugs,

Missy

[ertmann|CPH]

thanks missy

[missyob]

You are welcome hon. Again it will really suck and it wont be easy. Your heart will ache so much for so long. You will long for her not just a physical way but for the friendship you shared also.

~ Missy

[ertmann|CPH]

Blame Canada!

yeah, it really sucks we have to see eachother allmost everyday for the next 1,5 years, It really doesn't make it any easier