Love at first site? Can it be real ?

[missyob]

I met a guy a few weeks ago. (For those that read my date thread you know the story).

We just fit together in every way. He is everything I have always dreamed of and wished for. He is stable, owns a huge house, has a 6 year old daughter (bonus! a little girl for me). We have been spending quite a bit of time together lately and everything is just so right. The last thing I was looking for was a man in my life but he just appeared out of nowhere and it is all wonderful. He has even expressed desire to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me. I dont take marriage lightly but even for me it just seems so right with him.

He is exactly like me in many ways and the total opposite in the ways that matter to me.

Is it just the newness of the relationship or could he be the one for me? Any experiences? My own parents were only together for a month and knew they were right together and are still happily married. Then again I have heard it could be a disaster.

He is taking me on vacation in January. I have the choice of Hawaii or Las Vegas. I love Vegas and have been there many times. He said the only downfall of Vegas is that he would be so tempted to marry me there. I told him I would be strong enough for both of us to avoid the temptation. I have never been to Hawaii (He lived there for 8 years) and love the ocean and waters.

Thanks!

~ Missy

[. - .... .- -. ....]

One thing I have learned in life:

If something seems too good to be true, then it usually is....

[omen]

According to the book, an e-mail is equivalent to a phone call (never initiated and only rarely returned), a first date is a sexless date, no matter how long you have been e-mailing, and Instant Messaging is "like a free date, which we don't allow. We want men to court us, to ask us out in advance."

Other advice includes tips on how to create a good screen name (never too boring or too sexy), waiting 24 hours to respond to e-mails and dumping men who don't ask for a date by the fourth e-mail.

Holy crap, there's a lot more where that came from and I don't know how I ever got by without "The Rules for Online Dating"! What's even better is that the women behind this book have adapted their original dating guidelines (entitled simply "The Rules") to the 21st century. Their old guidelines were like something out of a bad 1950's Public Service Film Strip, with the inclusion of the Internet into the equation they sound like a bad science fiction movie from the 1950's.

"Do not accept e-mails from a man with a robot that uses a human brain, but it is okay if his robot is purely mechanical as long as he doesn't try to use it in the bedroom."

Since most of the eight or nine female readers we have are not trying to woo a mad scientist or sizing up a man's Theremin, I felt the need to create a guide to online romance from the inside! That's right ladies, I have the rules that will ensure you get with a hero and not a hero sandwich or possibly a Zero candy bar. To make things easier I have divided my invaluable advice on finding that special someone into two distinct categories that correspond to the phases of an online relationship.

The Internet of Love

So you're ready to fill the void in your life with that special someone but the meaty world around you doesn't have exactly what you're looking for? No problem! Thanks to the wonders of modern and possibly futuristic technology you can now connect with people as far away as Peru, Germany, Japan, or even Oklahoma. But, meeting someone on the Internet and meeting them in person is not the same thing, and you need to realize this from the start, or your relationship may be in trouble before you've even set eyes on the man who will one day father your children and make an honest woman out of you.

Rule Number One: There are 500 of them for every one of you

The Internet is overflowing with bachelors. Unfortunately, the Internet is overflowing with really shitty bachelors. You may be out numbered 500 to 1, but you're going to be panning for gold in an Ocean of 60 year old Korean men who claim to be college athletes from Boise, teenage boys who want to masturbate to pictures of your underwear, and grotesquely swollen gamer nerds who are in it for the ego stroking they missed out on in high-school because they attended the anime club dance with their own mother.

Rule Number Two: Why Won't Spielberg Release Schindler's List on DVD?

Seriously, what is that fucking crazy Jew thinking? I couldn't give a dumptruck full of shit less about Indiana Jones or Star Wars on DVD, so Lucas can go roll around in high-molar acid for all I care, but Spielberg created the greatest non-documentary film about the Holocaust of all time, and now he isn't releasing it on the current standard of home entertainment? Is he trying to appease the nihilists and nazi-sympathizers out there? Whatever the reason, you can be sure it is part of the Zionist conspiracy. I bought your fucking 100 dollar boxed set when that shit came out you sassy cunt, but now I can't stand to watch VHS and I want your movie on DVD. Do you understand? I AM REQUESTING THAT YOU ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU MONEY.

Rule Number Three: Not Everyone Wants to Murder You

Sometimes when you don't return e-mails and suitors start listing how they are going to butcher you in your sleep and burn down your apartment, it doesn't necessarily mean they really will. In fact a lot of these guys are completely valid choices for your love interest, you just have to closely scrutinize their vindictive hate mail to determine which are serious about eating your lungs so that you'll be close to them always, and which are just doing it as part of a front to look interesting. A good rule of thumb is to respond to death threats that contain no references to "playing with [your] entrails" or "drinking [your] blood from the golden chalice of the Hate Lord" as if they were friendly letters. Things should become much more amicable from then on.

Rule Number Four: Make the Guy Work

Once you are in communication with a man that seems attractive and is fun to interact with, you need to make him earn that first IM conversation, that first phone call, and that first meeting. Whatever you do, do not send him a picture of yourself no matter how modest, it doesn't matter what you look like, it could be a super model or a submarine made out of mayonnaise. The guy on the other end will picture you looking exactly like his mom, because nine time out of ten that's the only woman he's ever kissed. For the first IM conversation the man has to send three pictures, five poems, and either a painting, song, or novel he is working on. For the first phone call the needs to buy you a car or a house. To actually get to the first date he had better buy you a Leer jet, assuming all he wants is a lunch date or a sack full of diamonds and pirate gold if he is interested in dinner or more. He will get a picture if he purchases every single thing on your Amazon wish list.

The Real World

Your online romance is starting to heat up, but there are just as many rules that apply now that you are ready to finally meet face to face. Whatever you do, don't just go with the flow, as that flow might lead right to a waterfall of peril or a sewer of co-dependency and betrayal! You have to keep all of these rules in mind at all times, possibly even tattooing them on your arms and legs like that handsome man from "Memento". He was a real catch, wasn't he ladies? So concerned about his wife and how she had that run in with trouble!

Rule Number One: Make Sure He Isn't a Zombie or Gay

A lot of men who are otherwise normal turn out to be either zombies or homosexuals, so you need to test these things almost as soon as you meet. It's well known that the only thing that can stop a zombie is a bullet to the head, and if the world were a perfect place determining a potential mate's zombie status would be as easy as putting a thirty grain in his brain pan. Unfortunately there are all these things like "laws" and "police" that stand in the way of equal rights for women, so in the mean time keep an eye on some of the following details:

• Clothing: are his clothes tidy or caked with dirt and grime as though he clawed his way out of the grave?
  Conversation: is he as engaging in person as he was over the Internet or does he keep groaning and interrupting you rudely to say things like "braaaaaaains"?
• Skin Tone: Does he have clear skin or maybe slight acne scarring or does he have corpse pallor or a bluish hue?
• Car: Normal people drive, usually late model luxury sedans and European imports, zombies either take the bus or drive sub-compacts.
  When it comes to homosexuals everything is much easier to determine and you can be very proactive. Just schedule your first date during daylight hours (just before night if it's a dinner date) and everything will be fine. If he's a no show or comes after dark he's obviously a homosexual because homosexuals combust when exposed to sunlight.

Rule Number Two: Be Flirtatious but Not Overly Flirtatious

If you're interested, it's important to keep him interested, but not at the expense of your self image. Try not to raise your skirt too high, but don't be afraid to cross your legs, quickly but pointedly. Toying with your hair is a good way of being coquettish, but do not do so to the point that he thinks he is boring you. Frequently mimic oral sex on any cylindrical object nearby, tell long stories about how horny you get when drinking and then chug an entire glass of port. Mention offhandedly that you shaved off all your pubic hair and then stick your hand down your panties and invite him to smell how fresh you are. Men are very sensual and can really appreciate things like how a woman's crotch smells or if she looks like she might let him pee in her mouth.

Rule Number Three: Never Travel with Him to a Secluded Spot

My mother always used to say to me that the only difference between the average man and a rapist was circumstance. For you ladies just starting an online relationship, this means avoiding situations that make you easy to take advantage of. Keep an eye peeled for blunt objects that could be used to knock you unconscious, most men carry a truncheon or spade for beating women unconscious, but the true gentlemen will keep these locked in the trunk of his car. Never, under any circumstances, should you agree to go with him to a secluded location. Particular places to avoid include a cave, a drainage culvert, his cellar, a shallow grave in the woods, and Korea.

Rule Number Four: Don't Give it Up Girlfriend!


"It" means access to your hidden cove of sensual secrets. Much like access to your phone number and IM client, you need to make the guy work before you provide an all access pass to your body. I generally suggest a minimum of ten dates, followed by a period of no less than six-months being engaged. On your wedding night you may engage in missionary position intercourse, after one year you may introduce other positions to add spice to your romantic life. On your ten year anniversary you may or may not want to attempt anal just to make sure he maintains a small level of interest in your body while he's cheating on you with his secretary and that woman who teaches aerobics where he goes to work out. In the mean time you should be at home raising four of the eventually five children and pretending to ignore his infidelities while you cry yourself to sleep, sobbing silently into the apathetic arms of your Posturpedic back pillow.

Good luck out there, and remember, getting married in Everquest does not count as a real marriage in the eyes of our Lord.

[Bizznatch]

o.O

edit: double post, fooking server was lagging

[Vie]

USE THE GOD DAMN EDIT BUTTON!

Sorry missy, no advice to offer.

[NJK]

go for him missy

maybe it's a once in a lifetime chance.

me and the mrs dated for 5 months then i moved in with her - we are nine years together now and 5 years ago we married.

go where ever your feelings take you

[k_rock923]

if you find someone go for it. i met my girlfriend on a school trip to yankee stadium. i still don't know why i went on that trip. i hate the yankees. maybe it was fate. but we fell in love and started dating after a month or so. that was two years and seven months ago.

[randman]

I don't know if there really is a thing like love at first sight. I know after we've been in a long relationship we tend to look back at the past through aged eyes. I could say I fell in love with my late girlfriend at first sight. The truth is, I found her attractive and started flirting with her. That slowly led to us finding out we really did have something worth persuing. So rather than love at first sight, I'd call it an attraction to each other, but definitely not love at first.


I'm not saying what you have with him couldn't turn into love. I just think it takes time to really know. That amount of time might vary for different couples, but it's valuble time that can be used to really get to know one another and prevent something hurtful in the future. Other than that, go for it!

[godoncrack]

yes there is
I could explain it.
but what would be the point

[ScorLibran]

@ Missy...

Love at first sight? No. Lust at first sight? Yes. You have to know someone to love them, but it sounds like you're really getting to know him well (it doesn't take long with some people). When you "first see" someone, who know only one thing about them...how they look. Any attraction based only on that is lust. But lust leads to love many times if you follow through, as you are doing.

I hope the very best for you. You seem like an especially smart and kind person, and you deserve the very best in life! (Notice I'm not letting my extreme jealous streak influence my words... )

I know you're an Aries. What's his sun sign? And also, if you want to tell me the exact day/time/city of birth for both of you, I'll run natal charts and a compatibility analysis for you. (Don't worry...no sensitive information is needed to do this.)

[wulph]

Originally posted by ethan_h
One thing I have learned in life:

If something seems too good to be true, then it usually is....

Oddly enough, it's BECAUSE you beleive this that it's true for you. Change your thinking and your results will change too.

On a more related note, go for it Missy. If there's one thing I've learned: Love is worth any pain. So even if things don't work... at least you had a fun time for a while. The memories of happy times alone will be worth it; let alone love (if you're not there already).

-r-

[White Raven]

Erm. I found the best guy in my life, thanks to these forums and... There's nothing wrong with long-distance relationships, 'specially for him and me because there's a good chance he can come visit me in the summer.

Missy, I say go for it, fall in love with the guy, maybe you'll have found your 'One.' I'm in love, I'm also in love with being in love! (Libra trait)

Go for it Missy, go for it!
Most of the best relationships just seem to pop up out of nowhere, and the BEST ones are the 'Who woulda thunk it?' kind.

[lil vixen]

Yes, it can be real. It was in my case 13 years ago.
I met my husband the day he got out of the marines, I was just turning 18. This was October 21. We talked the whole night partied and what not. I figured I would never see him again as I was still in school yada yada.
Well he found me, came to my house and asked me out on a date. 6 days later I was engaged and 4 months later married.
It has been 13 years full of tears and joy, 3 wonderful kids etc.
So yes love at first site is real and true.

[psyfive]

hmm I dont know, I guess it depends, What is the URL to the first site? heh.[/crappy geeky joke]

It happened to me once, I fell in love with a girl who I had just met. Unfortunately she didn't see me the same way...

[missyob]

Thanks for all your comments/stories.

Especially Thanks to Vixen. I have known him for 6+ months and had the whole lust thing going but for some reason I thought he was married so I left him alone. Little did I know is that he wanted to ask me out... He has confessed it took him 6months to ask me out on that first date. On that date we both felt such a total connection. Since getting to know who he is I have found he is everything I have always wanted (except his jealous side which we will work on together) and I am everything he has always wanted (except the distance between us and my business keeps me so busy). We both have children ... we both dont want anymore. I am terrible with money he is great with it. We both laugh so much with each other and it just seems so right. He has met my boys and loves them and they like him alot. Everything just seems to be falling into place.
---------------------

ScorLibran My birthday is 4-4-69 I was born in Syracuse NY at 5:34pm. I used to have a total chart but cant seem to find it right now.

His birthday is 12-7-66 He was born in Pittsburg PA but I dont know what time. I will get the info from him and repost.

Send the results to my email missyob@yahoo.com I am very very interested to see what comes up.

Big Hugs,

Missy

[. - .... .- -. ....]

Originally posted by missyob
I have found he is everything I have always wanted (except his jealous side which we will work on together)

Hmmm.... now there is something that you might want to watch out for. And speaking as a person who is prone to jealousy, you won't be working on this together. Either he sorts it out for himself, by himself, or not at all.

And at the end of the day, he has been married and divorced. There were reasons for this, probably not all one-sided, which you might want to consider...

[missyob]

Originally posted by ethan_h
Hmmm.... now there is something that you might want to watch out for. And speaking as a person who is prone to jealousy, you won't be working on this together. Either he sorts it out for himself, by himself, or not at all.

And at the end of the day, he has been married and divorced. There were reasons for this, probably not all one-sided, which you might want to consider...

I will admit that the jealousy thing is big for me. I am an extremely trusting person until proven otherwise and dont understand the jealously concept. I am a total free spirit and in my job I meet hundreds of people each day. He has admited that his jealousy comes from insecurity. I will help him through it by reassuring him that I do love him and care for him deeply. I know I cant change him and need to accept him for who he is. All of the other qualities about him are wonderful.

On the flip side of the married thing ethan I have also been married and divorced. That doesnt make me a bad person. It is just that I married the wrong person for me. I have been divorced for 8 years now and would never jump into another marriage. When I married my ex-husband I really thought it would be forever. I did everything in my power to keep it all together and felt like such a failure when I ended up leaving him. It was one of the hardest things I ever have had to do and promised myself that if I ever did get married again it would be forever.

Big Hugs,
Missy

[grumpyBB]

I don't believe in love at first site at all. I'd go with lust at first site as a big possibility though.

I hope things go well for you and you end up happy. You sound like a decent girl that has her head on straight.

I myself have pretty much given up and thrown in the towel. I can't meet a girl that seems to have her shit together or that doesn't like to play games, lead you on, cheat, etc. yet is attractive to me. I also run the opposite direction from the so-called "reformed" sluts, definitely not my thing at all. I also do not have any kids and I'm 99% positive I never do so finding a girl close to my age (32) without kids that hasn't slutted around and has her shit together might as well be like trying to capture lightning in a jar.

[hgnis]

My parents were together for about 3 months before getting married. Yeah, I'm the jealous type, I recommend working on that first and giving a little time to let the newness fade. It'll save you some trouble later on.

[ElChevelle]

Missy? You'd be much better off with a loser like me in your life

[missyob]

Originally posted by ElChevelle
Missy? You'd be much better off with a loser like me in your life

But you live so far away. You know I have always wanted you

~ Missy

[ElChevelle]

[randman]

Originally posted by ElChevelle

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, how sweet and special.





Jealousy rears it's ugly head.

[hgnis]

Originally posted by randman
Jealousy rears it's ugly head.

Which one?

[randman]

Originally posted by hgnis
Which one?

The ugly one. The other one is real purty.

[peterpan1130200]

If he's the one and only in your life then go for it.Be sure its not just to have someone because your lonely at home.

[ElChevelle]

If he hasn't asked you to get your chest inflated, marry him