God exists. Here are the arguments

[xzxzzx]

link

A bunch of arguments for God's existance. I've picked out the best, but you should really read the thing itself to get the full impact.

9. MORAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Person X, a well-known Atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of us.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

11. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.

13. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

14. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Atheists -- it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

24. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

26. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

30. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Ray Charles is blind.
(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

35. SLATHER'S ARGUMENT
(1) My toaster is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

40. ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE
(1) Person X died an Atheist.
(2) He now realizes his mistake.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

49. ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

50. ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS
(1) Ask Atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the Atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

55. ARGUMENT FROM STEADFAST FAITH
(1) A lot of really cool people believed in God their entire lives.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

57. ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENTATION
(1) God exists.
(2) [Atheist's counterargument]
(3) Yes he does.
(4) [Atheist's counterargument]
(5) Yes he does!
(6) [Atheist's counterargument]
(7) YES HE DOES!!!
(8) [Atheist gives up and goes home]
(9) Therefore, God exists.

59. ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY
(1) We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that Atheists are laughable morons.
(1.5) Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities about theism -- but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that.
(2) Therefore, Atheists are laughable morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

61. ARGUMENT FROM PERFECTION
(1) If there are absolute moral standards, then God exists.
(2) Atheists say that there are no absolute moral standards.
(3) But that's because they don't want to admit to being sinners.
(4) Therefore, there are absolute moral standards.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

71. ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
(1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
(2) Atheist: of course.
(3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
(4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
(5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
(6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
(8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
(9) I'm glad we all agree.....
....
(37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
(38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
....
(81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
(82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?
....
(177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
(178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
(179) Therefore, God exists.

74. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM LIMITED VOCABULARY
(1) You use lots of big words.
(2) Therefore, I cannot possibly be expected to understand your refutation of my position.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

75. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE MEMORY
(1) [Christian asks "stumper" question]
(2) [Atheist answers question]
(3) [A lapse of time]
(4) [Christian repeats question]
(5) [Atheist repeats answer]
(6) [A lapse of time]
(7) [Christian repeats question]
(8) [Atheist repeats answer]
(9) [A lapse of time]
(10) Atheist, you never answered my question.
(11) Therefore, God exists.

77. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL SANITY
(1) I've had religious experiences that can't be explained unless I'm insane or God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

79. ARGUMENT FROM INEVITABILITY
(1) I have proof that God exists.
(2) I won't bother to tell you what it is because, being Atheists, you would be hostile to the conclusion anyway.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

85. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL HISTORY
(1) Many modern historians think that there probably was somebody named Jesus, maybe.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

86. BENDER’S ARGUMENT (I)
(1) One day, demons were tap-dancing on my roof. I prayed and they went away.
(2) Therefore, demons are really good dancers.
(3) Also, God exists.

89. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (I), aka Metacrock's Argument
(1) I have a large number of arguments for God.
(2) One of them is probably true.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

91. ARGUMENT FROM MYSTERIOUS USE OF PREPOSITIONS
(1) It is impossible to disprove God with your puny human intellect unless you are above God.
(2) Are you higher than God?
(3) I’ll take that puzzled look on your face as a no.
(4) Therefore, God (being the highest thing ever) exists.

101. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING
(1) Behold, foolish Atheists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the existence of God.
(2) [Christian posts 10,000 word document without a single paragraph break]
(3) [Atheists' eyes implode]
(4) I see that nobody can refute (2).
(5) Therefore, God exists.

106. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF DISPROOF
(1) You can't prove God doesn't exist!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

107. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (I)
(1) I once experienced something I can't explain.
(2) Atheists offer several possible, natural explanations.
(3) You're just guessing! I was there.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

118. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (II)
(1) Jesus said that people would make fun of Christians.
(2) I am an idiot.
(3) People often point that out.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

126. ARGUMENT FROM INTEREST
(1) If God really doesn’t exist than Atheists wouldn’t spend so much time talking about him.
(2) [Atheist refutes (1)]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

136. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE (II) (MODIFIED SIMPSON’S ARGUMENT)
(1) God, if you exist, please give me absolutely no sign.
(2)
(3) Therefore, God exists.

137. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY
(1) I am an idiot.
(2) Even an idiot can see that God exists.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

149. ARGUMENT FROM LOTS OF BOOKS
(1) The Bible has lots of books written by lots of authors over a long period of time.
(2) Through centuries of vigorous apologetics we've been able to forge a more or less coherent plot for the whole Bible.
(3) It is beyond human ability for so many authors over so long a time to write so many books from which we could hammer such a plot.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

160. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF MEANNESS
(1) If God didn't exist, it would be mean of him to make me believe he did!
(2) God isn't mean.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

172. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER
(1) When I pray, either it comes true or God has a better plan.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

182. ARGUMENT FROM RAIN, aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT (III)
(1) I wanted it to be a sunny day.
(2) I prayed it wouldn't rain.
(3) We had two thunderstorms.
(4) Obviously, God didn't want to answer my prayer.
(5) Of course not! What a selfish thing to pray for! How dare I try to compel God to my selfish desires!
(6) The rain was God's punishment for my selfish desires.
(7) Therefore, God exists.

187. ARGUMENT FROM MONKEYS
(1) If man came from monkeys, there shouldn't be anymore monkeys.
(2) There are still monkeys.
(3) Therefore, God Exists.

205. The ARGUMENT FROM THE THRONE ROOM
(1) Would you stand in the presence of a mighty king and demand that he prove he exists?
(2) No?
(3) That's what you're doing with God, you arrogant bastards.
(4) I don't CARE that you can't see him!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

213. ARGUMENT FROM WIND
(1) You believe in wind.
(2) But you can't see it.
(3) God's the same way
(4) It IS TOO analogous!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

216. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (II), aka TERCEL'S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) I have a large number of arguments for God.
(2) There is a small chance that each of them is true.
(3) Using voodoo probability calculations, this means that there is a much greater chance that all of them are true taken together!
(4) And this ISN'T just the mathematical version of the Ontological Proof; I'm a real mathematician and you obviously can't understand this proof because you don't know as much about math as me.
(5) Oh, and don't confuse things by mentioning how many Atheistic arguments there are, and the probability of each of them being correct...
(6) Or the fact that I basically pulled the probability of each of my arguments being correct out of my ass...
(7) And admit that I know more about math than you, and you'll see that...
(8) Therefore, God exists.

218. ARGUMENT FROM ABUSING THE BODY
(1) One time, I fasted for three days straight, prayed on my knees for hours, and didn't sleep, either.
(2) At the end of that time, God answered me.
(3) You see, you just have to mortify the flesh and accept the things of the spirit in order to meet God.
(4) No, there is no possibility that it was a hallucination!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

223. ARGUMENT FROM SADISM (I)
(1) I enjoy beating children.
(2) I find some justification for it in the Bible.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

224. ARGUMENT FROM SADISM (II)
(1) I enjoy treating women like dirt. It makes me feel powerful.
(2) I find some justification for it in the Bible.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

225. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exist.

229. BIBLICAL PROPHECIES ARGUMENT
(1) Jesus clearly fulfilled all the prophecies of the Jews.
(2) That's why there are no Jews alive today.
(3) If you see a Jew, you should probably kill him to make #2 work.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

232. ARGUMENT FROM ATHEISM
(1) Unicorns don't exist.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

252. ARGUMENT FROM PHOTO-OP, aka ARGUMENT FROM THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE (II)
(1) A couple of godless commie federal judges ruled the 1954 inclusion of "under God" in the Pledge unconstitutional.
(2) Almost immediately thereafter, the whole U.S. Senate recited the Pledge, including "under God," on the Capitol steps.
(3) The Senators' conduct was not--I repeat, NOT--mere political posturing and/or vote whoring.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

253. ARGUMENT FROM DEFENESTRATION
(1) If God exists, then He will protect me if I jump out this third story window.
(2) However, you will not be so fortunate, unsaved heathen!
(3) *shove*
(4) See! God didn't protect you, just like I predicted! Any counterarguments, heathen?
(5) No? Therefore, God exists.

254. ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS
(1) This pizza tastes funny.
(2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.
(3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.
(4) It must be a miracle!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

256. ARGUMENT FROM ACCUSATION
(1) The Bible says that everyone knows God exists.
(2) Therefore, YOU know that God exists.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

265. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE OPPOSITION AS USED BY A YOUTH GROUP MINISTER
(1) Satan really sucks, dude.
(2) You don't wanna, like, be like Satan, right dude?
(3) Therefore God, like, exists and stuff. Totally.

267. ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY
(1) Bite me.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

268. ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY, ACCEPTED
(1) Bite me.
(2) OW! YOU BIT ME!
(3) I'm being persecuted!!
(4) Therefore, God exists!

279. ARGUMENT FROM HAULING ASS
(1) [theist creates message board account and logs in]
(2) "GOD IS REEL AND ALL YOU HEATHEN ATHEIST INFEDILS WILL BERN IN HELL FORE-EVER MARK MY WERDS!!!!!!!!@#3FD"
(3) [theist logs off and never returns]
(4) Therefore, God exists.

282. ARGUMENT FROM HOSPITAL, aka ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES (II)
(1) A dear relative of mine was terminally ill and undergoing extensive surgery in the hospital.
(2) My whole family sat outside the OR and prayed through the entire eight hours of surgery.
(3) He lived.
(4) No, the highly trained physicians had nothing to do with it, unbeliever!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

294. "TRUE BECAUSE IT IS INCONSISTENT" ARGUMENT
(1) If the Bible were cooked up by some smooth-talking manipulative authors, it would have been perfect and seamless and without any apparent inconsistencies.
(2) But the Bible IS inconsistent, erroneous, and plain goofy at many places
(3) So the Bible is NOT a product of some smooth-talking manipulative authors.
(4) Hence the Bible is the word of God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

318. ARGUMENT FROM IT'S MY BALL AND YOU CAN'T PLAY
(1) There is abundant logical and empirical evidence that God does not exist.
(2) There is no evidence that God does exist.
(3) But God plays by completely different rules.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

340. ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES
(1) There is no such thing as a square circle.
(2) God is not a square circle.
(3) Therefore, God exists

666. ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION
(1) Therefore, God exists.

[Hollow]

Frankly, this is an impossible thing to discuss with most people. So many people have made up there the minds, and are not willing to consider it. Besides, beliefwise, and argument is not needed, wanted or require. The belief alone is enough.

[steak]

hahahaha
That's the funniest thing i have seen all day, so true aswell.

Well done That put a smile on my face

edit/

225. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exist.

Gotta be the funniest

edit2/

Frankly, this is an impossible thing to discuss with most people. So many people have made up there the minds, and are not willing to consider it. Besides, beliefwise, and argument is not needed, wanted or require. The belief alone is enough.

We're not discussing it, we're laughing at it and pointing out the obvious errors in these all too common arguments. Besides beliefwise, your simple blind belief is not enough to make me believe.

[White Raven]

I'm sorry, I refuse to accept the belief that some dude with some 'Plan' that involves allowing children to be raped and murdered daily should be ruling over the Universe.

/edit
I also find this funny

666. ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION
(1) Therefore, God exists.

//edit

[Raz]

Creators aren't necessarily rulers.

[bored154]

Originally posted by steak
hahahaha
That's the funniest thing i have seen all day, so true aswell.

Well done That put a smile on my face

edit/

Gotta be the funniest

hahahahahahahahahahhahahhah i agree

[MidnightViper88]

253. ARGUMENT FROM DEFENESTRATION
(1) If God exists, then He will protect me if I jump out this third story window.
(2) However, you will not be so fortunate, unsaved heathen!
(3) *shove*
(4) See! God didn't protect you, just like I predicted! Any counterarguments, heathen?
(5) No? Therefore, God exists.

254. ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS
(1) This pizza tastes funny.
(2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.
(3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.
(4) It must be a miracle!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

My favs...

[xzxzzx]

It's supposed to be funny, people. Though discovering that for yourself makes the whole thing a lot funnier. [edit]Whoops. Missed some edits.

[steak]

Originally posted by Raz
Creators aren't necessarily rulers.

The bible says over and over again that he is the ruler of the universe, or are we practicing selective christainisim now?

[xzxzzx]

By the way, my ultimate favs are in bold.

[WHEREamI]

75. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE MEMORY
(1) [Christian asks "stumper" question]
(2) [Atheist answers question]
(3) [A lapse of time]
(4) [Christian repeats question]
(5) [Atheist repeats answer]
(6) [A lapse of time]
(7) [Christian repeats question]
(8) [Atheist repeats answer]
(9) [A lapse of time]
(10) Atheist, you never answered my question.
(11) Therefore, God exists.

sooo great. has happened all too often. the X, X`, etc one too.

[J_Bloggs]

God knows everything, correct? Well then, to him, we are in the past,present, and future at the same time, and doing an infinate number of things while we're at it. Thoughout our 100 year long lives, we are a mare frackon of a split second of a thought to him. He can't change anything, because to him he knows that the alturnaives are happening AND arn't happening, and he knows all the alturnatives.

If god truely knows everything, this is true.

Therefore, god is on crack. OR
Therefore, STFU and got on with your lifes. OR
Therefore, a LONG time ago, god was a person with a greatly accalerated perception of reality, bordering on precognition, and was basicily really fucking smart. Then people took his image and exagerated it, distorted it, and exagerated it some more. OR
"OMG BUNNEH WITH A WAFFLE ON IT'S HEAD~!~!!~~!~!!1"

/me is off to actually read all of it, and see the humor in it if there is any.



This is just more rambling brought to you by Fucking Bored Productions™.

[gaekwad2]

100. ARGUMENT FROM IDENTITY (PC argument)
(1) Believing in God is a central part of my identity.
(2) You don't mean to deny my identity do you?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

156. ARGUMENT FROM EQUAL VALUE (PC argument II)
(1) Evolution and the scientific worldview is a worldview. Similarly, the biblical worldview is a worldview.
(2) You are not discriminating against our worldview are you?
(3) The Biblical worldview is as good as the scientific worldview.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

157. ARGUMENT FROM MODERATION (often employed by liberals)
(1) The Creationist side occupies an extreme side of the spectrum.
(2) Similarly, the Atheist side occupies another extreme side of the spectrum.
(3) The liberals are in between.
(4) Therefore, the liberal position on God is the most correct.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

[mrharhar]

Originally posted by J_Bloggs
Well then, to him, we are in the past,present, and future at the same time...<snip>
...a LONG time ago, god was a person with a greatly accalerated perception of reality, bordering on precognition.

Now I dont get that at all. 'Bordering on precognition' on one hand, while being omniscient on the other. It’s a case of either/or surely?

BTW I do believe in God.
Why? I don't know either. Perhaps I'm a fool, but I've considered atheism, and it doesn’t make sense for me. I believe in God for personal reasons, and it answers for me the question ‘What is the purpose of our lives?’
I'm not trying to convince anybody here, I just thought I'd mention my beliefs.

[eleet-2k2]

This is real proof why God exists (philosophically and theologically speaking, of course):

http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/aquinas3.html

[k_rock923]

if nobody knows that God exists for sure, then how are you all so sure what his responsibilities and powers are. we can't prove that the bible is right either so we can't use that as proof.

I do believe in God by the way. i'm just not so sure of his responsibilites

[will]

Originally posted by eleet-2k2
This is real proof why God exists (philosophically and theologically speaking, of course):

http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/aquinas3.html

The first two "proofs" are exactly the same. (i use quotes, because they are not proofs, but theological arguments. Only true proofs can be found in mathematics.)

They both say that event Z has cause Y, and the cause Y (itself an event) had a cause also. Thus there must be an orginal cause. This is flawed because of the authors misunderstanding of infinity.

If the future of the universe is a closed one (the big crunch theory) then it is quite plausble to say that the universe will (and indeed has) keep big-bang-ing and big-crunch-ing for ever.

Scientists don't know if the big crunch will happen (they cannot measure the hubble constant accuratly enough). This "proof" would deny that possible happening.

Of course, the christian is now saying "but what orginally created that? Must be God!" to whom I say, chaos theory says that we cannot know what happened before the big bang. So, jumping to MASSIVE conclusions that the bible is the truth is not the way to go. It is accepting a popular and easy answer to a difficult question. That answer stifles the need to find out more. Not just for you, but for everyone.

The third "proof" says "Hence not all things are mere accidents" The argument hinges on this, but the explanation why is not convincing at all.

The forth "proof" says "Therefore there exists something that is the cause of the existence of all things" yet it doesn't explain why this is so. It explains the possibility of the existance of things that are "extreme", but doesn't go anywhere near to justifying that statement.

The fifth proof starts off my saying "The fifth proof arises from the ordering of things for we see that some things which lack reason, such as natural bodies, are operated in accordance with a plan."

In all honesty, I cannot understand what this is saying, and certainly cannot be the basis of a proof.

[gaekwad2]

[quote]originally posted by eleet-2k2
This is real proof why God exists (philosophically and theologically speaking, of course):

http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/aquinas3.html({quote]
All I can see there are wrong premises leading to wrong conclusions.

Or was that supposed to be a joke as well?

@k_rock923: If you believe in a god that has infinite power and knowledge then he would also be responsible for everything, because he would be able to change it if he wanted to.

[k_rock923]

how the do we know that? we have no idea. people who believe in God's infinite power just assume he created everything. who's to say that someone else created it and now he controls it? who's to say that God created it and now some other God of equal power now controls it. and eventually when that God screws up and destroys everything, the first God comes along again and recreates everything. whatever happened to the laws of conservation of matter and energy. according to those laws, matter and energy can neither be created nor destroyed. but on the other hand, all matter and energy had to originate somewhere.

the point is that we can argue about the existance of God forever. no matter how long we argue about this, no side can be proved right or wrong. Face it: we don't know and we never will.

[mrharhar]

I like to belive when we die, eventually. We will know for sure, one way or another.

EDIT;
This only applies to certain faiths though.

[zootm]

Originally posted by Hollow
Frankly, this is an impossible thing to discuss with most people. So many people have made up there the minds, and are not willing to consider it. Besides, beliefwise, and argument is not needed, wanted or require. The belief alone is enough.

which is why those who hope to convert people as adamant in their disbelief as they are in their belief (or vice-versa) are foolish, and should be mocked.

("argument from formatting" is brilliant)

[gaekwad2]

@mrharhar: Believing in life after death does have one great advantage: you'll never find out you were wrong.

[papadoc]

One of the things I admire about God
is that He never tries to force you
to believe or disbelieve in Him.
I honestly can't say the same thing about human beings.

Another thing I admire about God,
is that he gave us all a brain.
He then gave us the ability to use that brain,
to make choises in our lives.
He also leaves it up to you to make those choices.

Why would He want everyone to think like He does?
Wouldn't that be selfish of Him?
Wouldn't that make Him more like you than you like Him?
And wouldn't that make living a boring experience,
one without the quest for knowledge or emotion?

You may or may not believe in God.
But isn't it wonderful that you've been given the ability to make that choice?

[Vie]

Bill Gates still lives

Therefor there is no god.

[godoncrack]

revelation by J_Blogs

Therefore, god is on crack.

FINALLY, another believer!!!
Welcome to the cult
Refreshments are to your left.
Purple sheet is to your right.

[J_Bloggs]

Originally posted by mrharhar
Now I dont get that at all. 'Bordering on precognition' on one hand, while being omniscient on the other. It’s a case of either/or surely?

It's two different views on the subject. One says God is all knowing, and can't change anything cos to him everything is and isn't happening at once, infinately. The other says that God was a human (or maybe alien) a LONG time ago, of such intelligence/wisedom/etc that people thought of him as a 'god' and etc etc blah blah blah, humans exagerated and distorted the truth.

An omnisient being would be a good answer to the unawserable so that we can go on with our lives without wearing out our little brains, wouldn't it?

"Man, that was a rather cruel act of god (hides medevil axe behing his back)".



GOC: Purple sheet??

[xzxzzx]

If there is a God, and he is omnipotent, then he can change things because he can place himself in time. He could decide to not know, for example.

[xzxzzx]

How the FUCK did this get into an argument about God's existance!? IT'S A JOKE THREAD, DAMN IT!

[zootm]

will covered the problems in the post's "proofs" quite well, so i don't feel obliged to add anything, except for the last one:

Originally posted by will
The fifth proof starts off my saying "The fifth proof arises from the ordering of things for we see that some things which lack reason, such as natural bodies, are operated in accordance with a plan."

In all honesty, I cannot understand what this is saying, and certainly cannot be the basis of a proof.

this argument basically says that things that are not intelligent are only existant in a meaningful form (i assume he's referring to orbits of planets and things) because they are having a "plan" imposed upon them. this proof is invalid because it assumes the existence of a plan to prove it, assumes the existence of god by association and neglects to note that fixed systems nearly always tend toward stability*.

*in this context. i know they go CrAzY sometimes

[J_Bloggs]

Originally posted by xzxzzx
How the FUCK did this get into an argument about God's existance!? IT'S A JOKE THREAD, DAMN IT!

The title invites disscussion on god's existence, and it's not a subject many people take lightly, even if they don't care.

[xzxzzx]

Bah! The title is mocking serious discussion. Bah, I say, BAH!

[Shenlong]

He was in a casting role in "Bruce Almighty"...GOD IS BLACK!!!

[zootm]

Originally posted by xzxzzx
Bah! The title is mocking serious discussion. Bah, I say, BAH!

i was trying to stay out of it for a while, really i was, but i was drawn in, as i always am.

[xzxzzx]

Originally posted by zootm
i was trying to stay out of it for a while, really i was, but i was drawn in, as i always am.

I was too...

[taylormemer]

Ahahaha, that was too funny. Just made my day.

[MidnightViper88]

Some more of my favorites...

23. DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

26. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

305. ARGUMENT FROM MONTY PYTHON
(1) Graham Chapman appeared in a film that made fun of Jesus.
(2) Graham Chapman died of a horrible, incurable disease.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
(3a) And has no sense of humor.

[Rocky Raccoon]

As a believer, I find this thread...


TOO DAMN FUNNY!!!

[will]

enjoy this folks

[sgtfuzzbubble011]

Yeah, god exists. I've been trying to buy a Nintendo from him for a while now...

[Too-DAMN-Much]

someone call?
seriously though, what if : religion is a bunch of BS and when you die YOU'RE beliefs come true for YOU???