How do I tell this to a 13 year old?

MidnightViper88 · 28th June 2006, 05:24

Ok...I'm having some family in town from Albuquerque, NM, and among them is my 13 year old cousin...She's pretty cool to hang out with...She'll be a freshman in high school when the fall semester comes around, so there's not much she doesn't already know out of all the thing's said around her, so it's not like talking to her is like talking to a kid...That being said, she asked me about something all her friends talk about, and while I can usually be a straight-talker, I feel entirely awkward with this subject...

How in the hell do I explain to my cousin what "Masterbation" is?

"Playing with yourself" isn't the answer she's looking for, since it doesn't really explain anything, as she doesn't get what this means...

Help me get her a jump-start on high school sex ed class...I'm not much of the converser on self-pervation amongst family...

skryingbreath · 28th June 2006, 05:25

Tell her to use google.

Psythik · 28th June 2006, 05:27

Oh sex is easy to talk about. You just... um, well...uh...

yeah.....

swingdjted · 28th June 2006, 05:33

Hand her a dictionary and tell her it's the only "safe" sex (unless she was handling poison ivy earlier that day).

Colonel Sanders · 28th June 2006, 05:36

I'm glad I don't have your problem, the only cousins that I know are two guys, one a year younger than, the other a year older. One has an incredibly dirty mind (in a humorous way) the other is more reserved. Anyways, on to your problem, just follow this 3-step plan:

1) Go to google.
2) Type in "masturbation deffiniton" or something similar, goal is to find a dictionary with the word you need.
3) Print out the result and hand to your cousin.

Good luck.

L J

Psythik · 28th June 2006, 06:46

Yeah, and make sure that definition includes pics.

Colonel Sanders · 28th June 2006, 08:37

Quote:

Originally posted by Psythik
Yeah, and make sure that definition includes pics.

Actually, a video would be better- more informative, easier to find, and funner to watch.

L J

Twilightseer · 28th June 2006, 08:42

I'd simply tell her to ask her parents. Parents are supposed to educate their children on all subjects, why would sexual matters be any different?

. - .... .- -. .... · 28th June 2006, 08:50

My guess would be that she is all too aware what it is - by definition at least, and that she's trying to get a reaction from her big older cousin by throwing these words at him. Nowadays, any kid that can send an email or surf the web can use google to find out these things, so unless she's living in the back end of Ethiopia or something, chances are she's google'd it already.

Though you could always show her, I guess. I hear that waste ground or woodland miles away from home is the preferred location.

Twilightseer · 28th June 2006, 08:58

/me hears siren blaring

Colonel Sanders · 28th June 2006, 09:59

Quote:

Originally posted by ethan_h
<snip>Though you could always show her, I guess. </snip>

Em dude, they're related.

L J

Bilbo Baggins · 28th June 2006, 11:14

Ask her what felching is in reponse.

zootm · 28th June 2006, 11:20

We'd covered that in sex ed in school by the time we were 13...

ElChevelle · 28th June 2006, 11:36

Quote:

Originally posted by Colonel Sanders
Em dude, they're related.

Not like they're brother and sister.

Say this while unzipping

J_Darnley · 28th June 2006, 11:42

Lets see... You could demonstrate but I bet people will say that's sick. You could say it's having sex by yourself. You could tell her that it is how you please your self sexually by playing with your genitals.

If you don't want to do any of the above you could either tell her to use google or ask her parents.

tuckerm · 28th June 2006, 12:43

www.wikipedia.org

fastingaciu · 28th June 2006, 14:40

Quote:

Masturbation is the manual excitation of the sexual organs, most often to the point of orgasm. It can refer to excitation either by oneself or by another (see mutual masturbation). It is part of a larger set of activities known as autoeroticism, which also includes the use of sex toys and non-genital stimulation. There are also masturbation machines used to simulate intercourse. Masturbation and sexual intercourse are the two most common sexual practices, but they are not mutually exclusive (for example, many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic). Some people are able to achieve orgasm only through masturbation and not sexual intercourse. In the animal kingdom, masturbation has been observed in many mammalian species, both in the wild and in captivity.

Mr Jones · 28th June 2006, 14:49

Quote:

Originally posted by tuckerm
www.wikipedia.org

You use wikipedia to get your wanking tips?, explains a lot

tuckerm · 28th June 2006, 16:34

rofls

No.

Razzinno · 28th June 2006, 20:42

Quote:

Originally posted by ethan_h
My guess would be that she is all too aware what it is - by definition at least, and that she's trying to get a reaction from her big older cousin by throwing these words at him.

I discovered it by accident when I was 12. Any more detail would be TMFI. I can only guess that girls are less likely to "stumble" across it.

@Bilbo

hgnis · 28th June 2006, 23:22

Agree with ethan. Probably looking for a reaction but the fact that you were asked ahead of the parents means you might be trusted more.
Just to be safe, start off with the technical definitions then move on to your take / experience with the subject - whatever will add the mosr value.

Jay · 29th June 2006, 00:55

Quote:

Originally posted by razzinno
I discovered it by accident when I was 12. Any more detail would be TMFI. I can only guess that girls are less likely to "stumble" across it.

@Bilbo

not necessarily true. This is purely by my opinion on talking with a few women about it but it would seem that they find it in similar ways that guys do. It is linked to sex drive and the mind. Not necessarily anything physical.

MidnightViper88 · 29th June 2006, 03:05

Quote:

Originally posted by hgnis
Agree with ethan. Probably looking for a reaction but the fact that you were asked ahead of the parents means you might be trusted more.

Probably has to do with age too...Hell, I'd probably have asked friends of similar ages before my parents if I were in her position...

I actually thought about Wikipedia shortly after making this thread...The masterbation entry has some pretty erotic pictures...

seraphim · 29th June 2006, 03:24

Quote:

Originally posted by razzinno
I discovered it by accident when I was 12. Any more detail would be TMFI. I can only guess that girls are less likely to "stumble" across it.

I've known of girls who started masterbating around 6 or so. Maybe even a bit earlier.

She might be fully aware of what it is, but just not know the word.

MStar · 29th June 2006, 04:36

lol selfpwned.

my mom came in 'cause her email isn't working, this happened to be the thread on the screen.

ElChevelle · 29th June 2006, 12:02

Did you ask her for a masturbation example?

. - .... .- -. .... · 29th June 2006, 12:16

Giggity, giggity!

Warrior of the Light · 29th June 2006, 22:44

Is the PC/tv in a seperate room?
yes - she knows
no - she *might* not know

just bring a dildo.. she'll get the point

/edit: no pun intended

MidnightViper88 · 30th June 2006, 00:18

Quote:

Originally posted by seraphim
She might be fully aware of what it is, but just not know the word.

Nope, she's legit...

She saw a ****** commercial, and she asked me what ******'s for...She knows it's for a guy's "dick", but the keywords "erectile dysfunction", "hard-on", and "boner" are three things that don't ring up with her...Yes, I used those words; Damn, I need to bring her up to speed...

Too-DAMN-Much · 30th June 2006, 04:43

has she ever seen an erect male?
and i didn't think they ever used the words "boner" and "hard-on" in commercials, ****** or non.

maybe you could just show her a picture of a guy with a hardy, and explain to her that the guys in this world have a sticky outy part and that females have a... (ummm) big hole(?) (trying not to offend any of the forums ladies) and let her find out what sex is and how it's done that way, then mention to her that men can't always find a willing woman when they feel the need to have sex, and vice versa, so they invented other ways of sexual pleasure.

MidnightViper88 · 30th June 2006, 05:34

Quote:

Originally posted by Too-DAMN-Much
i didn't think they ever used the words "boner" and "hard-on" in commercials, ****** or non.

No, those are my words, unless you can think of other simple adjectives that describe an erect penis...

rockouthippie · 30th June 2006, 05:39

http://love.ivillage.com/author/bio/...4_prtr,00.html

Give her the link to Dr. Ruth. If that isn't enough to scare her

. Explain that Dr. Ruth is only 24.

I dunno, explaining masturbation to your 13 year old cousin might raise an eyebrow someplace.

Too-DAMN-Much · 30th June 2006, 08:19

good point, i thought the very same thing when i first read the original post, but i figured he wouldn't listen, or there was some reason he actually SHOULD explain it to her, himself.

. - .... .- -. .... · 30th June 2006, 08:50

Quote:

Originally posted by rockouthippie
I dunno, explaining masturbation to your 13 year old cousin might raise an eyebrow someplace.

That would be my main concern too. I'm trying to imagine what would be going through your aunts mind should your cousin ever tell her that you were having these little private sex chats, or worse again, showing her "a picture of a guy with a hardy", and it's not good.

Find out if her school has a counselllor, or a teacher dedicated to teaching sex-ed. And tell her to go to them instead. They should have all the information that she should ever need.

Too-DAMN-Much · 30th June 2006, 08:52

ethan...

*doh*

gameplaya15143 · 30th June 2006, 22:55

Quote:

Originally posted by MidnightViper88
No, those are my words, unless you can think of other simple adjectives that describe an erect penis...

stiffy

She probably knows what 'jacking off' means and just needs the connection to 'proper' terminology.

... and hasn't she ever heard of a dictionary

Razzinno · 30th June 2006, 23:26

Quote:

Originally posted by gameplaya15143
She...just needs the connection to 'proper' terminology.

I remember in junior high (7th and 8th grades), the nurse had a frank discussion about sex and masturbation. The kids snickered when she used the street terms like 'boner' and gave us the correct terminology. One kid asked where do you get rubbers and she explained they were called condoms.

A lot of us though, went to the back of the classroom and supplemented what she had told us with the encyclopedia, and yes, masturbation was in there.

Are the schools in Albuquerque not mentioning the subject in junior high today?

MidnightViper88 · 1st July 2006, 00:26

I don't know about New Mexican education, but I can tell you Kentuckian education didn't introduce you to a health class until high school (9th grade)...

Razzinno · 1st July 2006, 00:36

We had a repeat performance, so to speak, in health class too. Probably 9th or 10th grade. With all the kids that get pregnant in high school, it makes you wonder how much worse the situation would be if they didn't cover those subjects in school.

Colonel Sanders · 1st July 2006, 14:57

I had sex ed in Grade school- like 5th grade I believe. Then I moved from the big city, and had it again in 7th grade. There was a 3rd time in HS. Out of my amazingly large class of 30, 1 dropped out (3.33%), 2 were held back (6.67%), 1 was a forieng exchange student from Sweeden, and only 1 was pregnant- during her senior year. Graduation ceremony lasted at most a half hour.

During all 3 times that they schoold brough up sex, I don't remember them every mentioning masterbating, and they deffinately didn't talk about the stuff bilbo mentioned.

L J

28th June 2006, 05:24	#1
MidnightViper88 Made In The USA (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The 502 Posts: 9,100	How do I tell this to a 13 year old? Ok...I'm having some family in town from Albuquerque, NM, and among them is my 13 year old cousin...She's pretty cool to hang out with...She'll be a freshman in high school when the fall semester comes around, so there's not much she doesn't already know out of all the thing's said around her, so it's not like talking to her is like talking to a kid...That being said, she asked me about something all her friends talk about, and while I can usually be a straight-talker, I feel entirely awkward with this subject... How in the hell do I explain to my cousin what "Masterbation" is? "Playing with yourself" isn't the answer she's looking for, since it doesn't really explain anything, as she doesn't get what this means... Help me get her a jump-start on high school sex ed class...I'm not much of the converser on self-pervation amongst family... "I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz

28th June 2006, 05:27	#3
Psythik Got his CT back and didn't pay $10 (Forum King) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,583	Oh sex is easy to talk about. You just... um, well...uh... yeah..... This is a sig of some nature.

28th June 2006, 05:33	#4
swingdjted DRINK BEER NOW (Forum King) Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Northern West Virginia Posts: 10,064	Hand her a dictionary and tell her it's the only "safe" sex (unless she was handling poison ivy earlier that day). Don't forget to live before you die.

28th June 2006, 05:36	#5
Colonel Sanders Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Middle of Nowhere Posts: 56	I'm glad I don't have your problem, the only cousins that I know are two guys, one a year younger than, the other a year older. One has an incredibly dirty mind (in a humorous way) the other is more reserved. Anyways, on to your problem, just follow this 3-step plan: 1) Go to google. 2) Type in "masturbation deffiniton" or something similar, goal is to find a dictionary with the word you need. 3) Print out the result and hand to your cousin. Good luck. L J Last edited by Colonel Sanders; 28th June 2006 at 06:28.

28th June 2006, 06:46	#6
Psythik Got his CT back and didn't pay $10 (Forum King) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,583	Yeah, and make sure that definition includes pics. This is a sig of some nature.

28th June 2006, 05:25	#2
skryingbreath Post initializing... Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,065	Tell her to use google.

28th June 2006, 08:42	#8
Twilightseer Frenchoderator Join Date: May 2000 Location: Lavabo, fond du couloir, 3è porte à droite Posts: 6,309	I'd simply tell her to ask her parents. Parents are supposed to educate their children on all subjects, why would sexual matters be any different?

28th June 2006, 08:50	#9
. - .... .- -. .... Backpacking Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: საქართველო (Georgia) Posts: 10,104	My guess would be that she is all too aware what it is - by definition at least, and that she's trying to get a reaction from her big older cousin by throwing these words at him. Nowadays, any kid that can send an email or surf the web can use google to find out these things, so unless she's living in the back end of Ethiopia or something, chances are she's google'd it already. Though you could always show her, I guess. I hear that waste ground or woodland miles away from home is the preferred location. Like my photography? Buy some here....

28th June 2006, 08:58	#10
Twilightseer Frenchoderator Join Date: May 2000 Location: Lavabo, fond du couloir, 3è porte à droite Posts: 6,309	/me hears siren blaring

28th June 2006, 11:14	#12
Bilbo Baggins Wind Chime of the Apocalypse Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Forest Posts: 17,228	Ask her what felching is in reponse.

28th June 2006, 11:20	#13
zootm Forum King Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: the nether reaches of bonnie scotland Posts: 13,375	We'd covered that in sex ed in school by the time we were 13...

28th June 2006, 11:42	#15
J_Darnley Forum King Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Belgium, Europe Posts: 3,625	Lets see... You could demonstrate but I bet people will say that's sick. You could say it's having sex by yourself. You could tell her that it is how you please your self sexually by playing with your genitals. If you don't want to do any of the above you could either tell her to use google or ask her parents. Winamp ATF Reference — My cPro timer widget — My port of AVS Do NOT email me with general tech support questions.

28th June 2006, 12:43	#16
tuckerm Forum Emo Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,364	www.wikipedia.org @tuckerm

28th June 2006, 16:34	#19
tuckerm Forum Emo Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,364	rofls No. @tuckerm

28th June 2006, 23:22	#21
hgnis Hobbit Humper Forum King Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: banned camp Posts: 4,127	Agree with ethan. Probably looking for a reaction but the fact that you were asked ahead of the parents means you might be trusted more. Just to be safe, start off with the technical definitions then move on to your take / experience with the subject - whatever will add the mosr value. I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick. Reality bites <3

29th June 2006, 04:36	#25
MStar Major Dude Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hardcore Heaven Posts: 1,491	lol selfpwned. my mom came in 'cause her email isn't working, this happened to be the thread on the screen.

29th June 2006, 12:02	#26
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	Did you ask her for a masturbation example?

29th June 2006, 12:16	#27
. - .... .- -. .... Backpacking Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: საქართველო (Georgia) Posts: 10,104	Giggity, giggity! Like my photography? Buy some here....

29th June 2006, 22:44	#28
Warrior of the Light Forum King Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,121	Is the PC/tv in a seperate room? yes - she knows no - she might not know just bring a dildo.. she'll get the point /edit: no pun intended Jesus loves you [yes, you] so much, he even died for you so that you will not need to die, but live forever Last edited by Warrior of the Light; 29th June 2006 at 23:20.

30th June 2006, 04:43	#30
Too-DAMN-Much The Big Bad Boots (Forum King) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 420 Big Buds Way Posts: 3,964	has she ever seen an erect male? and i didn't think they ever used the words "boner" and "hard-on" in commercials, ****** or non. maybe you could just show her a picture of a guy with a hardy, and explain to her that the guys in this world have a sticky outy part and that females have a... (ummm) big hole(?) (trying not to offend any of the forums ladies) and let her find out what sex is and how it's done that way, then mention to her that men can't always find a willing woman when they feel the need to have sex, and vice versa, so they invented other ways of sexual pleasure. I hate everyone, so you don't have to.

30th June 2006, 05:39	#32
rockouthippie Banned Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Oregon Posts: 11,002	http://love.ivillage.com/author/bio/...4_prtr,00.html Give her the link to Dr. Ruth. If that isn't enough to scare her . Explain that Dr. Ruth is only 24. I dunno, explaining masturbation to your 13 year old cousin might raise an eyebrow someplace.

30th June 2006, 08:19	#33
Too-DAMN-Much The Big Bad Boots (Forum King) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 420 Big Buds Way Posts: 3,964	good point, i thought the very same thing when i first read the original post, but i figured he wouldn't listen, or there was some reason he actually SHOULD explain it to her, himself. I hate everyone, so you don't have to.

30th June 2006, 08:52	#35
Too-DAMN-Much The Big Bad Boots (Forum King) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 420 Big Buds Way Posts: 3,964	ethan... doh I hate everyone, so you don't have to.

1st July 2006, 00:26	#38
MidnightViper88 Made In The USA (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The 502 Posts: 9,100	I don't know about New Mexican education, but I can tell you Kentuckian education didn't introduce you to a health class until high school (9th grade)... "I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz

1st July 2006, 00:36	#39
Razzinno Piffle Producer Join Date: May 2006 Location: the secret files of my pc Posts: 2,588	We had a repeat performance, so to speak, in health class too. Probably 9th or 10th grade. With all the kids that get pregnant in high school, it makes you wonder how much worse the situation would be if they didn't cover those subjects in school.

1st July 2006, 14:57	#40
Colonel Sanders Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Middle of Nowhere Posts: 56	I had sex ed in Grade school- like 5th grade I believe. Then I moved from the big city, and had it again in 7th grade. There was a 3rd time in HS. Out of my amazingly large class of 30, 1 dropped out (3.33%), 2 were held back (6.67%), 1 was a forieng exchange student from Sweeden, and only 1 was pregnant- during her senior year. Graduation ceremony lasted at most a half hour. During all 3 times that they schoold brough up sex, I don't remember them every mentioning masterbating, and they deffinately didn't talk about the stuff bilbo mentioned. L J

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