Amazon selling...milk?

Phyltre · 4th August 2006, 04:43

This one's good for a few minutes of comedy. Amazon.com has started selling milk, and this has sparked an endless supply of hilarious product reviews. My favorites:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk.
However little known the feelings or views, or lactose intolerance of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful owner of some one or other of their gallons of Tuscan Whole Milk."

"At first I was struck with despair when my cat got into my gallon of Tuscan whole milk, but what was once consternation quickly turned to joy as seconds later my cat became Halle Berry dressed in a black leather cat outfit. I cannot thank the creators of Tuscan whole milk and Gristedes Supermarkets of New York for the limitless pleasure which ensued."

Omit Name · 4th August 2006, 04:49

milk = good

shakey_snake · 4th August 2006, 05:06

But, I want 2%.

MStar · 4th August 2006, 07:36

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...019848?ie=UTF8

Complete with its own low-fat comments.

Phyltre · 4th August 2006, 15:45

"... dared to go where no man had gone before. In Iceland, they called him Hoppipolla Glosoli, which roughly translates to, "Man Who Stands Erect and Dares Forward." Old Sanskrit fables depict the man in question as a mighty warrior with a sensitive spot for whole grain diets and monogomy.

But to us, the laymen, he is simply the man who first tried the product known as milk. Sure, we can argue about 2% versus whole milk. Tuscan versus Borden's. But what would Hoppipolla Glosoli say? Here is a man who pointed at a cow and said, "See that four-legged creature there? I'm going to go underneath it and suck on one of those long things hanging down until something comes out." Like many endeavors, time and patience was key and in truth, a necessity. After nine cows, Hoppipolla Glosoli came across a discovery that would change the face of mankind forever. He was experimenting with the wrong gender."

ElChevelle · 4th August 2006, 16:21

I purchased a bottle of Ephedrine from Amazon a couple of months ago even though it's illegal to sell in the U.S.

Oddly, it's not available anymore

Jay · 4th August 2006, 20:43

Quote:

Note: Gift-wrapping is not available for this item.

Well forget it!!!!

MidnightViper88 · 5th August 2006, 05:00

Quote:

Originally posted by shakey_snake
But, I want 2%.

Why are you drinking 2% milk? Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

*blows a .45 ACP through the head*

S-uper_T-oast · 5th August 2006, 07:16

Quote:

Originally posted by MidnightViper88
Why are you drinking 2% milk? Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

*blows a .45 ACP through the head*

*shoots you again, repeatedly*

4th August 2006, 04:43	#1
Phyltre Forum King Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 2,751	Amazon selling...milk? This one's good for a few minutes of comedy. Amazon.com has started selling milk, and this has sparked an endless supply of hilarious product reviews. My favorites: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk. However little known the feelings or views, or lactose intolerance of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful owner of some one or other of their gallons of Tuscan Whole Milk." "At first I was struck with despair when my cat got into my gallon of Tuscan whole milk, but what was once consternation quickly turned to joy as seconds later my cat became Halle Berry dressed in a black leather cat outfit. I cannot thank the creators of Tuscan whole milk and Gristedes Supermarkets of New York for the limitless pleasure which ensued."

4th August 2006, 05:06	#3
shakey_snake Forum Domo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Everyone, get over here for the picture! Posts: 4,313	But, I want 2%. elevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladylevitateme

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4th August 2006, 04:49	#2
Omit Name mostly harmless Major Dude Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 1,809	milk = good

4th August 2006, 07:36	#4
MStar Major Dude Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hardcore Heaven Posts: 1,491	http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...019848?ie=UTF8 Complete with its own low-fat comments.

4th August 2006, 15:45	#5
Phyltre Forum King Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 2,751	"... dared to go where no man had gone before. In Iceland, they called him Hoppipolla Glosoli, which roughly translates to, "Man Who Stands Erect and Dares Forward." Old Sanskrit fables depict the man in question as a mighty warrior with a sensitive spot for whole grain diets and monogomy. But to us, the laymen, he is simply the man who first tried the product known as milk. Sure, we can argue about 2% versus whole milk. Tuscan versus Borden's. But what would Hoppipolla Glosoli say? Here is a man who pointed at a cow and said, "See that four-legged creature there? I'm going to go underneath it and suck on one of those long things hanging down until something comes out." Like many endeavors, time and patience was key and in truth, a necessity. After nine cows, Hoppipolla Glosoli came across a discovery that would change the face of mankind forever. He was experimenting with the wrong gender."

4th August 2006, 16:21	#6
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	I purchased a bottle of Ephedrine from Amazon a couple of months ago even though it's illegal to sell in the U.S. Oddly, it's not available anymore