love vs. lust

[kris_man]

a few years ago, i had a big big crush on this girl i worked with. was it love? i think so, but most ppl tell me it was naive infatuation.

anyway, heres some more general questions:

1)does love exist?
2)how can u differentiate between love and lust/infatuation?
3)if love exists, then is it fair, ie, is it equally available to every person - good or bad, rich or poor, pretty or ugly?
4)if love exists, then does it last forever, or is it temporary like every other thing in the world?
5)is love connected in any way to lust/sex?
6)is it possible to love more than one person?
7)does everyone experience love in the same way, or is it universal?

[Mr Jones]

If you find yourself thinking about someone all the time and getting a boner each time you think of them, then that's probably lust

If you find yourself thinking about someone all the time and you only occasionaly get a boner, then you probably have some deeper feelings for them.


Simple really, well if your a bloke, the female of the species probably have their own unique take on things.

[mrharhar]

There was once this girl in school. I knew here casually, and she was a nice girl; sweet smart good looking et all.
All of a sudden, during the holidays I couldn't stop thinking about her. Not just sexually, though that came into it too. I mean it was crazy. I went to sleep and dreamed about her. And I had no way of contacting her, she was on holiday somewhere. Anyway,
it stopped as randomly as it began, about a week later. At the time I was convinced I was in love, but now I'm pretty sure it was just infatuation. The difference being, that love wouldn't have stopped.

Shit, I cant believe I just said that. I've never told anybody, incase they though I was imbalanced or something.
If anybody laughs, I’ll never come back to these forums again.

[kris_man]

i dont believe in love as some magical, everlasting ideal. is it still possible to love someone if they dont love me back? if the answer is yes, then love can be very cruel and painful. if the answer is no, then ... damn, my love life has sucked!

[msteed_02]

my opinion is that yes, love does exist. it's not always fair, it usually does last forever... in some form... cause even if you do love someone for a while and get devorced or break up, you either still usually have some feelings for them, or the love turns to hate... which is an equally strong emotion in my opinion. i think you can truely love more than one person. lust is, in my opinion, just a sexual thing and love is more of an emotional/spiritual type of caring.

Well, that's my take on it. Dunno how much that enlightens you, but I tried. haha

[fwgx]

Love is a human feeling, like happiness or fear. I would say in general lust is more sexual and love is a connection at a deeper level, a really good friendship with some sex to boost.

Love isn't fair or equal, it's specific to an individual, maybe they'll find it, maybe they wont, maybe it'll last forever, maybe it wont. I think it's possible to love someone and to fall out of love with them, it's also possible to lovesome until you die.

I think it's difficult to love more than one person at a time, although not impossible and I feel sorry for people who get into that situation, it must be incredibly difficult to make anything good out of it.

As love is a feeling it's not possible to determine whether everyone experiances it the same way. I hate it when someone says "prove you love me", sorry, I can't it's not possible. Just like you can't PROVE to me you're happy/sad etc.

[hgnis]

Originally posted by kris_man
1)does love exist?
2)how can u differentiate between love and lust/infatuation?
3)if love exists, then is it fair, ie, is it equally available to every person - good or bad, rich or poor, pretty or ugly?
4)if love exists, then does it last forever, or is it temporary like every other thing in the world?
5)is love connected in any way to lust/sex?
6)is it possible to love more than one person?
7)does everyone experience love in the same way, or is it universal?

1. There exists many different kinds of love and many levels to it. It depends on your definition of love.
2. Refer to what Mr. Jones said. It is possible to experience both for the same thing though.
3. I believe all persons are capable of experiencing some form of hormonal imbalance for one object of the other. The level of imbalance will be dependent on the person.
4. If you formulate your definition of love adaquately the response to this question will be obvious. One's perception alters with time and so does the nature of one's love. At one time long ago I could REALLY say I loved money by my definition of love. (Not that I don't now...)
5. Refer to #2
6. There are different levels of love that one can experience, whether it be for kin, comarade, possesions or mate.
7. Different people should react differently to their feelings. Consider: a psychopath might try to preserve the "purity" of his love and kill the object of their affection, a stalker would stalk (duh!), and so on. Refer to #3.
Love hurts.

Originally posted by mrharhar
If anybody laughs, I’ll never come back to these forums again.

*Points and laughs*

[mrharhar]

*Points and laughs*

You bastard!

Goodbye cruel world.

[White Raven]

1)does love exist?
Yes, very much so.

2)how can u differentiate between love and lust/infatuation?
You'll know... It sounds shitty Matrix 3 dialogue I know, but you'll know inside.

3)if love exists, then is it fair, ie, is it equally available to every person - good or bad, rich or poor, pretty or ugly?
It is available to everyone, but as is life, it's not always fair.

4)if love exists, then does it last forever, or is it temporary like every other thing in the world?
It's how much you put into it and how much you want to make it last. It's a mutual thing.

5)is love connected in any way to lust/sex?
Yes.

6)is it possible to love more than one person?
Yes, I believe so, but I happen to be monogamous.

7)does everyone experience love in the same way, or is it universal?
That's one of the great mysteries, my friend.

[WomanOfHeart]

1)does love exist? Yes. On many different levels, love does exist.
2)how can u differentiate between love and lust/infatuation? Mr. Jones was pretty much right about this one. Let me also add that love is about acceptance. Love should not require that you are joined at the hip with whoever you profess to love.
3)if love exists, then is it fair, ie, is it equally available to every person - good or bad, rich or poor, pretty or ugly? It can be, yes. I mean, look at some of the horrible people in prison (Richard Ramirez, Danny Rollins) who have met, fell in love with, and married women outside of prison. My upstairs neighbors recently married. He's not that bad looking, but his wife is certainly no prize. Hell, even I married a dog-faced boy. Then again, I really didn't love him, so that doesn't count.
4)if love exists, then does it last forever, or is it temporary like every other thing in the world? It depends on the level and type of love. Love exists on many different levels.
5)is love connected in any way to lust/sex? I think it's possible to love someone and lust after them at times. But still, sex is just sex. You can go out and screw anyone you like without having to love them. Love is something much deeper and more potent than lust.
6)is it possible to love more than one person? Of course it is!
7)does everyone experience love in the same way, or is it universal? I'm not sure that any two people experience love in exactly the same way.

[daKNIGHT]

i have the same problem too thinking about love and lust..my gosh look at my sig. well i just think that love is real but it is hard to give and recieve. lust is just there for your pleasure, emotionally or physically. but love does exist and it is the hardest thing to contain and keep when you do have it...so hard.

[GqSkrub]

there are some words like "keyboard" that are straightforward. No one will argue with me that what i'm using to type right now is a keyboard (unless they're a stupid noob in which case STFU n00b).

"Love" on the other hand has a very squishy meaning. To make love is a differnt love than "I love you mom". well at least i hope so .... "i love chocolate!" is different that "I will love you for the rest of my life"

Part of this problem is the fact that english condenses the word love so much. Greeks had three words for love. Ancient persia had like 80, and we have one.


Anyways, you can spend your life wondering what love is and trying to define it, or you can just live knowing (or at least hoping) it exists and being happy that you have a general clue as to what it is. I think the second one is much easier. Good luck.

[Doktor]

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes; love is all around me...

Love does exists, but sometimes in a relationship it is hard to say wheter it is still true love or just lust. I say "just lust" because I don't like it that way.

Love generally is a difficult thing indeed, now it is somehow explained as mental addiction to certain hormones produced by hypothalamus when it is stimulated the proper way. But what is the right way (person) and how to find it - don't ask me, I am a lucky bastard bacuase it works for me .

[Mrs_Mia_Wallace]

Originally posted by kris_man
a few years ago, i had a big big crush on this girl i worked with. was it love? i think so, but most ppl tell me it was naive infatuation.

First of all, other people can never tell you what you felt for a certain person, the only one who knows the best is you, how should the others know what's going on in your head/heart?

1)does love exist?

Yes it does, no matter if you define it as an attraction between two individuals with different genetic codes that get attracted through the pheromones etc...or as that "special feeling" you only have for one person, or that you love your family or your friends etc... just about everyone experiences it at least once in life so no one can deny it exists.

2)how can u differentiate between love and lust/infatuation?

What Jones said but it's not always that easy, it's not fair but most of the time you will only know after it's over that it was only an infatuation because it ended as quickly as it came. You can think for yourself: Is my feeling that I just cannot be without that person or is it that I cannot be without having sex with that person? The thing that a big difference between love for the family and a love to a partner is also the physical attraction so sometimes it may not be easy to find out, even the inner voice can be misinterpreted!

3)if love exists, then is it fair, ie, is it equally available to every person - good or bad, rich or poor, pretty or ugly?

I think that everyone - except some people that have a mental disability of feeling emotions maybe - can experience love, either for the family or for a person of the other (or even the same) gender.

4)if love exists, then does it last forever, or is it temporary like every other thing in the world?

It can last for a lifetime but one of the main reasons for love ending is that the person, the character, the personality you fell in love with changed during the course of life in a way that it is too different to be loved. The peron may still be loving hte old person bu tthat one doesn't exist anymore so the love ends - because the person once loved does not exist anymore.

5)is love connected in any way to lust/sex?

It depends on the kind of love. Love to a family memeber or friends - no (at least it shouldn't). To a parter I'd say yes because when you're in love you love everything about that person, which counts the body as well, the physical attraction is important but should not be the main aspec tin any way.

6)is it possible to love more than one person?

It depends on the kind of love. Family members - yes. Partner - I'd say no although people have stated otherwise. When you really love a person you only want to be with him/her, the world will seem useless without them, so how can there be another (or even more)person involved you feel the same thing for, you'll always be without on eof them when you're with one of them, that doesn't really sound satisfying to me.

7)does everyone experience love in the same way, or is it universal?

We'll never know. Do we see colors the same way? Do we experience a touch, pain, happiness the same way? It's al triggered the same for every person and we all have a brain and nerve cells that transport the information but how everything is finally calculated and sent back by the brain can be kind of different for everyone, why not the feeling of love?

Mia

[kris_man]

i purposely didn't define love, cos i knew that i wouldn't be able to. i didnt wanna say love as a feeling, or as a moral ideal or anything, cos i wanted to leave that open for suggestion. but, i was referring to love in the romantic sense, not love for a chocolate or love for your mum, even though some might say they're the same thing...

i like this, to me it makes sense:

Originally posted by Doktor
Love generally is a difficult thing indeed, now it is somehow explained as mental addiction to certain hormones produced by hypothalamus when it is stimulated the proper way. ]

my personal view on love is that it can all be explained by biology, both physical biology, as above, and the charles darwin survival of the fittest thingie.

[ryan]

It depends on who you ask, really. Everyone has a different opinion on love, so nobody who has posted here is exactly right about it.

Make it what you want.

[J_Bloggs]

I'm going to argue that love doesn't exist simply because it isn't in a tangible form. At best love exists as an emotion, theres a possiblity that love exists as a "socal construt" or "fabrication of socity", and at worset it simply doesn't exist at all.

To me, love is a bond between people. It is a state of mutual respect, trust, views (to a certain extent), and any other indiscribeable things that make you happy you know and have something to do with this person. This goes for all types of love, friends, family, objects (can't be very mutual, but hey,), "lovers" for lack of a better term, etc.