My PICTURES: The Truth

[elderberry]

The Montage Man, what is it all about? Why does this site have threads from the man, how did this montage ‘business’ begin?

To tell you this, our story needs to wind back to 1978. At this time a famous British culture known as Monty Python was coming to the end if it's era. Although still very funny even to this day, the material was growing very thin on the ground as certain members wanted to leave the group to go and run a hotel or walk around the world. Others just wanted to die. The Americans wanted to keep their British roots and Monty Python humour was clearly the way to do this as it was so British. There was one major hurdle. In order to do this, they had to understand Monty Python.
The Americans found that the best way to understand the humour was through science. Over several months, it came to pass that a secret government plan was put into action and DNA was stolen from several members on the Monty Python team. They also captured DNA from Alex Maroney through a pure coincidence, but that was discarded as it contained the "Angry Gene".

Using new technology and something known as a computer they found within the DNA of the Monty Python test subjects, a gene that was present in all of these people and unique to only them. From that point onwards, every child in America was tested for this gene. The plan was to monitor and nurture any American found with it and allow them to uphold the British connection in America as Monty Python was deemed to be the missing link. The next stage of the operation was to build a secret base at Mount Rushmore to monitor the the selected subjects. The mission was simple, to build a fifth head that nobody would notice. Within this head would be a secret organization who would shape the future child of America into becoming the missing link.
As with all good plans, something went wrong. During the signing off of the plans for Mount Rushmore, word reached the Americans that they had found a child in Ohio with the gene. In the excitement and general over enthusiasm that all Americans suffer from, the coordinates of Mount Rushmore where misread. Due to the nature of this mistake, the fifth head became a single head and was built in Elderberry Country.

The following photos are very grey is colour to emphasize that they are very secret in nature. A secret base is actually known to be built in the lone fifth head.

This picture is of a postcard that was found in Elderberry Country. Some people say that it shows the location of the fifth head that is hidden in the mountains, other claim that it is a sunspot on the hills and that the road leading to the secret entrance is a trick of the light. Either way, something is out there.

Some people have infiltrated this base and brought back alarming photos and reports of the inside.

This base has a secret nest of computers that the sole purpose of is it search internet forums across the world looking for montages by the child that they have found. Every montage found allows the Americans to preserve a little bit more of British humour within their culture. This data centre powers the observation room that will be shown a little later. The manager of the data centre who would only be known by his code name of Echo was very proud of the work that he had done. He believed that his strict organisation of computers in perfect lines allowed for a quicker data throughput in the search for montages.
When asked about what problems he faced in this crusade, one major problem was the lack of cable ties. He believed that there maybe a slight airflow problem within the data centre, but as the base (known to employees as Manic Mountain) was off limits to the rest of the world, he could not get a another opinion.

This problem has not slowed Echo down on his mission for searching for montages. Having recently won the "Manic Mountain Employee Of The Decade" award for his tidiness and winning mission statement which was "The internet and all the forums. This is the surfing of Manic Mountain, and our twenty year mission to explore strange new threads, to seek out new montages, and pictures of Elderberry, to boldly download what no man has downloaded before", Echo could be quoted as saying, "It's like Pokemon you know. We've got to collect them all".


The final picture shows the observation room. This is the hub of the internet and allows the employees known as "Montage Analysts" to search the forums of the world. When they have a "hot" site, this can be piped from the local terminals up onto the big screens for verification. If a montage is found, it is taken away and stored on the storage area network. Two of the screens slide away to allow viewing windows through the nostrils of the fifth head, known as "Manic Mountain".

To sum up, this is why I collect his montages. His humour is not unlike Monty Python it is so off the wall and the man is a genius and I am but one person doing this when there is a huge secret organisation.