Murder Stroies

[Stuart1]

The Murderous Victim
Once upon a time there was a sweet girl who's name was Beckie. She was a pretty girl who would was always trying to help people. But one afternoon that all changed. The day it all change she was sitting in a café, on the outside chairs. This guy came up behind her and tried to grab a feel. She fought him off and kick the shit out of him and nearly killed him. Beckie liked the feeling she just experienced, so she tried it again later that day, where no one can see her.
By that night she decided to invite this guy up to her apartment to have a couple of drinks and watch some tv. When he showed up Beckie opened the door and let him in. They sat at the table drinking some coffee and then they went to the living room to watch some tv. She wanted to kill him but as they got to know each other she started to have some feeling for this guy, and then they started to date so she couldn't kill him after all.
The next day she had to go out and find a new victim. When she went out she seen this guy who was beating up on a girl. Beckie didn't like that very much so she went over and helped that girl and kicked the crap out of the guy. She asked the girl if she wanted to go to her place for some coffee. The girl said "sure I would love to." They walked to Beckie's apartment and had coffee and then decided to watch tv. Beckie lift the room and got a knife and some rope. When she got back she threw the rope around the girl and the chair, so she couldn't get away. Then she put some tape on her mouth and stuck the knife through the chair and in to the girls back and started to twist. Then she took the knife out of the chair and slit her throat. Beckie cut up the body and put it in a bag and put it in the garbage disposal.
She waited a few weeks before she went for another victim, when she found him he was also a murderer but beckie didn't know it. She asked him if he wanted to get a drink at my place. He was like holy crap are you asking me to your place. Beckie said "yes I am." So they went to her place had some coffee and watched some tv. The guy got up and asked "where is the bathroom?". He went to the bathroom and seen the garbage disposal and gave him an idea. When he got back to Beckie he had a rope, knife, lighter and tape. He threw the rope around her and taped her mouth so she couldn't talk. Then he removed all her cloths and started to touch her. Then he got the lighter and lit the chair on fire and just left her there. Then he got the knife and went around to her front and started to stab her in the chest and stomach. Then he cut up her body and put her in a garbage bag and threw her in the garbage disposal.
Later that day the guy was caught by the cops and was sentenced to 50 years in jail but he wasn't going to go to jail so he got the cop guy and put a bullet in his head and tried killed himself. It never worked he never died and still spent the 50 years in jail.

The End

Richard Stuart

[billyvnilly]

that is certainly an interesting 1st post to your name.

My story is this: Go see American Psycho

[Stuart1]

Originally posted by billyvnilly
that is certainly an interesting 1st post to your name.

My story is this: Go see American Psycho

Why is that????

[Stuart1]

The Murderous Duo

One day a few years ago there were two young girls named Robyn and Amanda. They were sisters and also a crazy murderous duo. Their appearance was deceiving. Robyn was into the gothic type look she was about 5'6 at about 100LBS. She was normally a sweet kind girl who looked like she wouldn't hurt anyone but herself. Amanda also had a gothic look to her and was generally kind and caring. Under all masks of kindness there was a raging killer.
Each day the two girls would walk around town looking for people to terrorize. When they found their victim or victims they sat down in a cafe and planed their murderous acts. Some times they would take hours, or even days to plan the gruesome acts.
One bright sunny say in June they roamed the streets of their town to find someone, someone special. They found a nerdy student who was walking down the street with his head in a book. He was about 5'1 with a dirty blond curly hair and thick glasses. He was a true example of a real geek. They thought everyone would be better off if he was dead. So they went to the local cafe and started to plan how they will kill him harshly and brutally. This round it only took them about 2 hours to have a solid plan.
Amanda walked up to their new victim and asked him if he wanted to go for a drink at her place. He was stunned and answered with an unconfident "do you mean me?" She said with her low sexy voice "yes I mean you, would you like to go to my place for a drink." Shaken he answered her "Sure I do I would love to go have a drink with you." So they went to her house.
Robyn was waiting at home in her room for the right moment to walk out. When Amanda and the unsuspecting victim got to her place they went inside, sat at the table and had several drinks. About 30 minutes after he was good and tipsy Robyn came out in tight reveling shorts and a low tube top. He felt uncomfortable sitting there with a girl walking around like a whore. He was in a dream, a good one at that, so far it seemed. Robyn got a drink and sat beside him, he was bewildered at the thought and reality to be sitting at a table with two gorgeous ladies. He kept drinking. After they were done their drinks Robyn asked him if he wanted to go sit in the living room, so that they could talk and get to know each other a little better. Robyn, Amanda, and the nerd all went to the living room which was lit with bright lights and was a comfortable atmosphere. By the end of the night Robyn had some sort of feelings, maybe it was her nerves or her conshence but she started to think that she couldn't go through with it.
She told Amanda that they had to find someone else because this nerd had to live. Robyn simply wouldn't have it and would stop Amanda if she tried to kill him. Amanda understood and said that they could find a different victim and let the nerd live.
After that day Robyn and their her former victim started to see a lot of each other, Amanda sensed a change in Robyn that she didn't like much. She senced that Robyn was growing a heart and some sympathy for these people. Amanda asked her if she was dating this nerd, Robyn answered "No I just think he is not nerdy enough to die."
Weeks went by Robyn and Amanda walked the streets again to find a different Victim. This time it was a girl, her name was Nikki she was a normal girl. People liked her, she had a cool vide to her but Robyn and Amanda didn't like her. Amanda told Robyn that she couldn’t back out of this one no matter what; she was going to die at the hands of them both.
Amanda and Robyn approached Nikki and started to talk to her to see if she wanted to hang out with them this evening. To maybe watch a movie at their place. Nikki said "Sure would love to." So later that evening when nikki showed up at Amanda and Robyn's house they opened the door and invited Nikki in. As the evening went on and the movies got shorter, Robyn left the room to get a Knife and Amanda left for her rope. When they got back Amanda threw the rope around Nikki and the chair she was sitting on so that she couldn't move or get out. Then Robyn came up behind her and stuck the knife through the back of the chair and into Nikki's back then slit Nikki's throat. They made sure she was died and done for. They carried her body to the garbage disposal and put her in for the garbage man to take her rotting body to the dump where no one would find her.
Robyn told Amanda that she couldn't do that that anymore; her guilt was too heavy for her to carry. She wanted to turn herself in as a raging killer, but Amanda furiously said "No you can't do that, I won't let you." Sobbing Robyn answered “You can't stop me; I am going to the cops in the morning." But Robyn never made it through to the morning. That night in her restless sleep Amanda cut her head cleanly off and put her in the garbage disposal.
For the past 35 years Amanda has been in the countries penitentiary.

The End

Author: Richard Stuart

[Stuart1]

The Collector

About 10 days there was a chick name Mandy sitting around doing nothing. She was looking at all the people around her and thought that they would look better dead. So she got a slice of paper and started to write down plans for their murders. She saw something on the TV that looked really cool, she saw people killing people and cutting their skin off to use it as her own like a Halloween costume.
So she started to talk to a few of the people to ask them if they wanted to get together and hang out alittle. She asked this one guy named Billy and he was like sure why not could be fun. They took a day and hung out and at the end of that day Mandy got a pitchfork and stuck it in Billy’s neck and started to twist the handle almost ripping his head off. Then when he was dead she got out a knife and started to slowly cut away the skin from the body. When she got the skin from the body she hung it up to clean it and to dry it. While that one was drying, she went out to find her next victim.
The next day when she went to school she was looking for the next guy. She found this guy name James in her class, he kind of slept all the way through class and she thought he was a waste of space and air. So she asked him to hang out so she could kill him and take his skin. They hung out some that day and then she got instead of a pitchfork she got a doll axe and started to swing it at him. She thought a doll axe would be better then a sharp axe because a doll one won’t just cut him open it will smash him open. She swung it at his neck, arms, waist, legs and head. There was blood going everywhere it was just gushing from his body in all locations, she thought it was so awesome and just continued to do it till he was no longer alive.
People at school were wondering why James and Billy weren’t showing up for school, Mandy didn’t say anything about it, or she might have said something about what she has done to them.
After a few weeks went by she didn’t think about killing any one else till this new girl came to the class. Her name was Annelies, and she always tried to talk to Mandy, but Mandy didn’t like her and thinks she might be next on the list. So one day when Annelies tried to talk to Mandy, she talked back and asked Annelies if she wanted to hang out after school. Annelies was so happy that Mandy wanted to hang out with her and said “Sure I do but what will we do?” Mandy was like “we could hang out at my place and such and walk around town alittle.”
So after school they got together and hung out. They went to Mandy’s house and were jumping around out side on little cliffs that Mandy has made. Mandy tripped Annelies and put a barbwire hoop around her neck and rolled her off the little cliff. Annelies fell like 3 feet and the cliff was 6’5 she couldn’t climb up or climb down. Mandy got the end of the barbwire that was at her feet and started to make it jump and it started to cut into Annelies neck, Mandy continued this till it ripped Annelies head right off her body. She didn’t care about taking her skin because she already had two. She did keep her head as a trophy and buried the body in the yard.
A few weeks later people were wondering why those three were not going to school. The cops were investigating the students and staff at the school and random people in the town and the kid’s parents. About a month later then found Annelies buried and found the skin of the other people and they knew it was Mandy but they couldn’t find her. She knew that they were getting close to finding out she did it so he got a gun and blew a bullet into her own head killing herself instantly.



This story is 100% fictional. All names and acts are 100% Fictional

Author: Richard Stuart

[squakMix]

Ever read that caver story?

http://www.holyshiite.com/caver/

[Namelessv1]

We have an Arts and Design forum for various artistic works, such as creative writing.

[Stuart1]

Originally posted by squakMix
Ever read that caver story?

http://www.holyshiite.com/caver/

What is the Caver Story???. I have never heard of it.

[aFfLiCtEd]

B
O
R
I
N
G
!

[Raz]

That really was terrible.

[squakMix]

Originally posted by Stuart1
What is the Caver Story???. I have never heard of it.

So read it.

[ElChevelle]

Yawn!
It's a "put your human to sleep" thread

[mark]

long blocks of unformatted text make baby jesus cry.

[protegechris]

You're disturbed. Seek help immediately.

[Raz]

It's not wrong to write stories about disturbing things. They're just not well written at all.

[protegechris]

Well, your right. But if he had described the brand of knife, and the length of the blade and stuff, then it would've been disturbed

[zootm]

You'd like this album:

[ElChevelle]

I don't know about "Stroies" but murder is ok.

[Stuart1]

AS THE ACID DRIPS

One day their was a girl name Hailey. For the past 25 years she has been in the State Prison. As this story goes on I will tell you why she's been in prison for so long. It all started when she was 17 years old and graduating from High school.

On the night of her graduation when Hailey went up to get her certificate, this guy named Bruce threw an egg at her and it cracked all up in her face. She didn't like to be humiliated in front of that many people, Oh and ya she was humiliated. Everyone was laughing at her. Hailey thonght about hurting and torchering Bruce alittle and some other people, oh and she totally did.

The next day Hailey made some plans to hurt some of the people, starting with who...? Bruce. She made plans and put down some idea's on paper. When she had her plan of attack she set out to find Bruce and to put her plan in affect. But the day she was looking for him she couldn't find him because he was away camping with his friends.

The next day she found bruce and she asked him if he wanted to hang out some after school or something. He said, "You still want to hang out after the egg to the face?" She said, "Yes that was in the past and maybe we could start over." So that day after school they hung out some around town and at Hailey's house. Hailey was waiting for the right moment to make her move to torcher Bruce. She knew he wouldn't want to be tied up so she had to pretend to make out with him and then tie him up as in a kinky act. As he was tied to the chair Hailey got some acid that look like like it was hot wax. Hailey started to drip it on Bruce's stomach and chest area and to his surprise it started to eat away at him slowly and painfully. Hailey took off Bruce's pants and started to drip it on his legs, feet, hands and the top of his head. He was slowly and painfully deteriating Hailey was having a great time watching him suffer. The acid was eating everything bones, skin and guts. When this was done there would be nothing left of Bruce.

But it never got that far. The girl who lives next door heard Bruce screaming. She went over to see what was happening and she seend Bruce getting eating my the acid. She called the cops and when they got there Bruce had no legs, no arms, only part of his stomach left and only half of the top of his head. Hailer was under arrest for the slowly soon to be murdered Bruce.

They took Bruce to the hospiatal to see if they would save him. But it was to late the acid did to much damage on bruce and he died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

They tired to get Hailey in to a squad car but it took them 10 min and the loss of 2 police officers. Hailey got a cup of the acid and tossed it in the two police officers faces and the acid started to eat away their faces. They didn't die from it but they had no faces and in alot of emotional pain for the rest of their lives and they couldn't do anything by them selfs anymore. They always needed someone there to watch over them.

When they finally got Hailey in the car they took her to a holding cell till she got a chourt date. When she got a date she was sentenced to life in jail. She still has all her life to go. She is now 43 years old and they have changed her sentence some. The new sentence is she will get the death sentence at the age of 65 if she is still alive. This is the reason why Hailey has been in jail for her life past the age of 17.

All Names and Events are 100% Fictional.

Author: Richard Stuart

June 17, 2004

[Namelessv1]

Originally posted by Namelessv1
We have an Arts and Design forum for various artistic works, such as creative writing.

[dlinkwit27]

Bravo for trying. That's all I have to say.

[d0rk]

[Semantics]

Stuart-

Glad to see that you are expressing yourself, and you have enough balls to post your work for others to see. However, I have to ask you...why murder? I mean, the stories are about "heres two people, a situation, and boom, this is how one kills the other". So, why do you write? Is there a fasination with death, theraputic tool? Whats the deal?

Good news is that at least your sublimating something about you into writing as opposed to acting on it.

[k_rock923]

If he wants to write, I say let him. It doesn't matter if they're good or bad. If he is enjoying it, let him be happy.

[Fickle]

Constructive Critisism (If you doubt any skill I might have concerning Murder, form, or content PM me and I'll give you some samples):

There is a definate lack of finesse, style, and action in your stories. Yeah, sure, things happen, but things like

They tired to get Hailey in to a squad car but it took them 10 min and the loss of 2 police officers. Hailey got a cup of the acid and tossed it in the two police officers faces and the acid started to eat away their faces. They didn't die from it but they had no faces and in alot of emotional pain for the rest of their lives and they couldn't do anything by them selfs anymore. They always needed someone there to watch over them.

Are really awful. Where did the cup of acid go? Why do you mention the policemens emotional scarring if it doesn't effect the storyline? It's an interesting side note, but best left out with the stories' lengths as it were.
At best your stories are rushed explanations to describe what happened to someone your gossipping about.
There's a BIG lack of cohesion and you seem to just be in some sort of rush. Why? Busy? Doing your laundry? Because if you write in a rush, the story follows your example, as do the reader. Readers don't like to be rushed. They dig being pulled, not pushed, into a story. Compel the reader, don't push them through it with a glance. Best thing to do is grab the really cool situations and slow them down, tell the reader what they were thinking, what color the glass was, what kind of acid, whatever. You have to be a little slower and more retrospective. You're writing the story, you should know every detail or at least have a really good idea. As you write, slow down and expand on these ideas, make your characters less "thrilling" than human. Humans are more fun as characters than cardboard cutouts in "thrilling" positions.

As concerning murder as a subject, who gives a fuck? I've written many stories and a shitload of them involved death. Why? Am I troubled, psycho, afraid? Not really. I'm more interested in what people do in fucked up situations, which is for many, death in some way, imagined or real.

As a last note of advice, read more. You can never read enough. By reading you will pick up styles and exchanges, format and cohesion with out even realising it. Read a few books, hell, read one book. If you're into insane murderers, read "Whispers" or "Intensity" by Dean Koontz. Try "A Clockwork Orange" or better yet, read some ken Kesey or Grisham. Not neccesarily murder, but definately good reading none-the-less, and great aspects of writing that many can be influenced by. Hell, even the Harry Potter Series is pretty good. If you want to learn how to rope in readers and make them finish your story or book they should definately be on your platter.

I thought these were pretty bad, Stuart1, you could very well do better if you are willing to do the legwork.


----------------------------------------------------
My Murder Story: (I only threw up what I've written so far, but with any luck you'll be able to read it in a magazine or [better yet] a collection someday)

I was done the beer and nursing the bottle of Henney when I heard the bang and watched as the lamp went out in the apartment. Then there was another spark and I knew the shit had really hit the fan. Someone was dead.

My brain was screaming at me to get the fuck out of there. I tried to start the car, but my fingers refused to do it. Shock. Oh shit, I thought. Whoever just shot whoever else is going to come out of that apartment door and put a bullet in my scull. Oh fuck. What was I supposed to do now?

I had been driving Merdoc here and there for awhile, picking him up from work, dropping him off in the morning, driving with him to court, you know, things friends do for each other when it seems like God just shit in their hair for laughs. He drank a little much, I thought, but what’s a guy gonna do, you know? I mean shit, I drank a little much.
I should have known though, that picking up a friend at one o’clock in the morning to go to another friends house to score some weed was a bit much. But there I was, picking up the friend at the train station and driving out to the apartments on the outer edge of the city. I hate the city’s traffic and police, but I’m Merdoc friend. A friend in need and all that jazz, right?

So when we got there, the two of them got out quietly and rushed up to the door. They knocked first, then opened it wide enough for me to see that it was just an alcove from which the real apartments breached off. Immediately questions arose. Had they ever been here before? If they had, why would they knock on a door that nobody would hear them knocking on? Had they maybe been with friends when they came here? Did they know these people? They went into the first apartment off to the left, and then I lost them as the first door shut behind Merdoc.

My fingers were still stuck on the keys when they rushed out, Merdoc carrying a giant duffel bag. Merdoc and his friends eyes were big and their faces were pale. They jumped into the car and started yelling at me to drive.

“Dude! Get the fuck out, c’mon!” Merdoc was screaming, but I just stared at him, trying to tell him how it’s funny, after I saw someone get killed I kind of went blank, my fingers stopped responding to my curtain calls. You know how it is, right Merdoc? Someone of your illustrious position at the Shop-N-Save should know how it is when you realise that you’re driving the getaway car.

Merdoc’s friend, George was his name, poked something hot and metal into my head.

“Move motherfucker, or your brains are gonna move faster than your head can handle.” I fought for my life in that instant, fought my fingers and their damned immobility. The key turned and the car started. I put it into drive by mistake and nearly ran over the curb, but with a little help from George, I got my head straight enough to get moving in reverse and get us out onto the road, driving faster than I could handle with two murderers and ten pounds of cocaine.