Old 21st June 2004, 17:12   #41
Coman
Punk
(Forum King)
 
Coman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 4.5th dimension . . Posts: infinitely few
Posts: 2,799
craigslist.org

craig?

also

"Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?"

Last edited by Coman; 21st June 2004 at 18:14.
Coman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd June 2004, 04:40   #42
MidnightViper88
Made In The USA
(Forum King)
 
MidnightViper88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 502
Posts: 9,100
Send a message via AIM to MidnightViper88 Send a message via Yahoo to MidnightViper88
I guess Bilbo doesn't find Chev and I helpful enough...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
MidnightViper88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd June 2004, 05:23   #43
protegechris
Forum Queen
 
protegechris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,635
Quote:
It really sucks peeing when you've got a boner. Especially at 4 in the morning when you can't really think straight. Luckily this has happened before so I had the presence of mind on this occasion to sit down to pee instead of trying to aim an arc of urine from far away over the bathmat and into the toilet bowl. This method causes major splashback and results in lots of piss ending up on the floor, toilet seat back, and sometimes shower curtain and/or mirror, and/or my face.

But it's a delicate act, peeing with a boner, even while sitting down. It's painful- really painful to force your engorged member underneath the rim, where it brushes against the inside of the bowl (which is cold and revolting) and then having to lean way over so that the damn thing points down instead of straight out where it almost always manages to shoot out between the rim and the seat, which results in pee on your leg, underwear, floor, and possibly the door or wall across from the toilet, depending on how bad you really have to go. Sometimes in mid-stream it will get the better of you (it's a surprisingly springy contraption). You think it's resting safely and securely so you decide to risk reaching over for some toilet paper- and BAM! It pops out from your firm hold and relinquishes a torrent of pee on your hands and anything else in its line of sight which usually includes your face, chest, towels, pets, etc.

And even then, even if you've accomplished all of this, you will not be able to pee in a normal, free-flowing stream. You will have to pee in short, girly little bursts because it refuses to come out in a steady fashion for some reason- possibly because of the contortionist act you're putting your poor member in, bent down in such an unnatural fashion.

Eventually, after say, ten minutes of leaning over and pointing down, alternating between having the tip of your dick either against the toilet bowl or in the toilet water, pissing in squirts, you're finally done. And after you either congratulate yourself on not having pissed all over yourself and the bathroom, or you wipe all the urine off of your hands, face, towels, mirror, shower curtain, walls, cat, and any other place it probably hit, you give yourself a pat on the back and go back to bed, praying to God that you may never have to pee with a boner again.
-from http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/31764036.html

thanks for the link from comans earlier post.

this is for those of you too lazy to click his links.
haha

yeah, i'm back.
protegechris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd June 2004, 05:25   #44
Coman
Punk
(Forum King)
 
Coman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 4.5th dimension . . Posts: infinitely few
Posts: 2,799
hey, you stole it!

"Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?"
Coman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd June 2004, 05:35   #45
protegechris
Forum Queen
 
protegechris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,635
there we go

yeah, i'm back.
protegechris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd June 2004, 06:53   #46
Coman
Punk
(Forum King)
 
Coman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 4.5th dimension . . Posts: infinitely few
Posts: 2,799

"Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?"
Coman is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Go Back   Winamp & Shoutcast Forums > Community Center > General Discussions

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump