Are you single, married ect..................

[billyvnilly]

moving in together and discovering that you are not compatible for one. its like a test drive before buying a car. Chances...

but i understand your pov, if i found someone that i knew i was compatible with: same ideals, i would be comfortable not moving in together, but i think living together would accelerate our understanding of each other. it could save a lot of heartbreak.

[missyob]

Originally posted by spaceplay
As i have had a few rotten weeks ( missy, shy and widdy know what i'm talking about) i have found that the words some wrote to me that came straight from their hearts made them more beautifull than any picture can ever show.

We love you honey and think you are really special I am glad that we are able to help you out through such a sucky time.

Big Hugs,
~ Missy

[hgnis]

Originally posted by billyvnilly
but i think living together would accelerate our understanding of each other.

There is no correlation between living with someone and understanding a person. If (nuances aside) one did not "know" the person before, what is there to say that one will understand the person after living with them?
Personally the notion that one needs to live with someone to understand them is quite weak in my mind. Not primarily because of religious reasons but due to the fact that under no circumstances will I allow anyone into my fort before I trust/know them completely to the extent that we would share similar philosophies on security, hygiene and what is actually in our core values.
It is these things that make or break a relationship not whether or not the person squeezes the toothpaste from the middle.
But that's just me, I am the kind that prefers to have people I can depend on and intellectually/physically engauging around me after stripping away the front that the average man on the street sees.

[Phyltre]

That study confuses me, since
1) it was performed by economists, and
2) it is stereotyping people who marry early as having found a "strong match." In my experience, that is not always the case--often people are pushed into marriage socially.

I guess my point, better explained, would be that having several love relationships (sexual stuff aside) without long-term commitment builds a grass-is-greener mindset: if there's a problem in the relationship, just get divorced! After all, there's lots of people out there...

Gradually, after your third or so big relationship, you stop getting so attached to the other person because psychologically it's natural to drop them when things don't always go smoothly.

[missyob]

Originally posted by Phyltre
Gradually, after your third or so big relationship, you stop getting so attached to the other person because psychologically it's natural to drop them when things don't always go smoothly.

If that is the case then one shouldn't get involved with another person because a real relationship is about "all of it" the good times and the bad. If two people really love each other then they stick it out through the tough shit and dont just drop them the first time things do not go smoothly.

~ Missy

[missyob]

I am getting married!
I am going to marry myself. I asked myself and I said yes. I love myself and know that I will never divorce myself. I will stay with myself forever and ever.

Big Hugs,
~ Missy

[sgtfuzzbubble011]

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard is that "if you can't be happy with yourself, then you'll never be happy with someone else." Once you're happy and content with who you are, then you can truly be happy with someone else.

[Phyltre]

If two people really love each other then they stick it out through the tough shit and dont just drop them the first time things do not go smoothly.

Yes, yes, that was actually part of my point.