Old 9th September 2011, 23:44   #1
Wildrose-Wally
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I Hate My Job Day

When you have a "I Hate My Job" day, even if retired, you have those sometimes, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your drugstore and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."

Have A Nice Day And Remember, There Is Always Someone Else With A Job That Is More Of A Pain In The Ass Than Yours!
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Old 10th September 2011, 09:23   #2
Warrior of the Light
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That's why there are two Johnsons: the one does the fabrication, the other one the testing.

Jesus loves you [yes, you] so much, he even died for you so that you will not need to die, but live forever
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Old 10th September 2011, 10:42   #3
Widdykats
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^TrainMan- I just visualized a whole row of people bent over, in product control.
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Old 10th September 2011, 10:51   #4
NJK
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Widdy, behave

now i can't get that picture out of my head........

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Old 14th September 2011, 03:06   #5
swingdjted
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wow...

That's just...

scary.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 14th September 2011, 06:03   #6
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There is one job that if I had to do over again, I wouldn't do. It does put all other jobs in perspective. I was working up at the UofO medical school. There was a space underneath the parking lot where we needed to pull about 10 yards of dirt out of under it so that we could put some big beams in. This was so it wouldn't collapse the parking lot when they set a crane on it.

My partner bid this job and he always managed to come up with jobs that were a total nightmare. It turns out when the built the parking lot, they just scraped the concrete slurry off the top when they leveled it. They buried this under the part of the parking lot we had to dig out.

Sitting in a 4 1/2 foot crawl space chipping out petrified 1960's concrete with a pick. I kid you not. After the job I pissed blood for a couple days.

Whenever I think a job sucks, that job puts it in perspective

Jim and I were always after these prevailing wage jobs. It was stuff the union guys didn't feel like doing, but the pay was prevailing wage. It was usually some kind of horrible ass busting job. A few times it really pushed the envelope. But if you said you were going to do something, you'd better do it, because your phone would never ring again.

Another bad one was setting scaffolding inside the elevator shafts of the hospital. It's ass busting work to set scaffolds. It's about 4X harder when you are trying to do it in a hospital without making noise or a bunch of dust. If you slipped and dropped a scaffold, you could be sure half of the nursing staff would be there shortly to bitch you out. It is much easier to handle 80lb scaffolds if you don't have to be quiet.

So as they set the elevator rails a floor at a time, we'd be up there in the middle of the night moving yesterdays scaffolds up two floors until we hit 17. By that time, I think we pissed everyone in the hospital off.



Fun.
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Old 17th September 2011, 01:33   #7
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I used to pick strawberries. Imagine hands and knees all day every day in the sun. The funny thing is that although the rest of the body is sore, it's the neck that hurts an extreme amount.

I also used to rock-pick and bail hay for a farmer too. That was pretty rough. The same farmer had me help him clean manure in his feeding barn for his livestock. He would use a front-loader for cow-shit while I had a shovel for the hard-to-reach areas. This was especially disgusting in the pig confinements, where the front-loader wouldn't fit at all, so it was all shoveling. The horse stalls were at least a bit tolerable, because for some reason their shit doesn't stink nearly as bad as other animals.

Another summer job was a paint crew, which was normally very relaxing, but I once was at the top of an exterior attic peak (3rd story) on an extension ladder when I accidentally upset a wasp nest. I had to just take it and hang on with multiple stings on my arms, cheek, neck, and on my chest/back inside my t-shirt, trying not to either fall or let go of the paint bucket. That really sucked. I had to go and get some kind of steroid shot.

Now I'm in a job where a lot of kids will tell me "fuck you" one moment and then give me a big hug an hour later, or vice-versa, depending on the day.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 21st September 2011, 04:42   #8
rockouthippie
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Yeah, I could pick strawberries as good as a migrant worker. It really pissed me off because when I was 14, they passed those child labor laws. I was pretty much man sized by that point. I was pissed because for me this was usually a good winter coat and a new bike. In a pinch, the folks would chip in for a K-mart coat and some bike repairs, but if you wanted to be stylin... you worked...

I hated picking black caps because the vines cut your hands to hell. Walnut stains always got me a bunch of shit at school. Bailing hay was always a bitch. I have hay fever bad, but hell... a little Copenhagen to keep the chaff from chokin ya Picking beans was bad too because it didn't pay anything. Some money is better than no money.

That stuff is nothing compared to breaking old slurry concrete with a pick in a 4 foot crawl space. Tried to hire some help. Pussies Nobody wanted to sign up even for $30 an hour.



This is the first money I ever made. My dad replaced the two bucks with silver. I was a first grader. I made $2 picking berries. I remember being a little ticked off at the time, but I understood a silver dollar was worth about $6 at the time and stuck it in my piggy bank. Somehow I never sold them.
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Old 22nd September 2011, 00:36   #9
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the hardest job i've ever done was demolishing someone's garage for an addition he wanted to put onto his house, it was fun (when is being paid to swing a sledge hammer and destroy crap not fun though?) but hard work, i couldn't keep up with that on a daily basis for long.

the most exhausting however, was working on the oil tanker, 7 day work weeks and 10 hour days catch up with you quick, i eventually slept through a fire alarm.

I hate everyone, so you don't have to.
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Old 22nd September 2011, 00:53   #10
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hehehehehehe.

I dunno which one of three gets top crown.

a). shoveling sheep shit for three weeks in 90 degree heat.

b). working for the ohio poultry association blood testing chickens for roids. You ever try to prick a bird?

c). opening pools for the summer; after they have festered all winter and grown all sorts of extra life forms in the spring. Oh, once I fell in. I was sick that entire summer.

Yeah, would really rather not go back to any of those.

It's funny. I'll head that rant off right there cuz it's gonna be a shit storm.
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Old 22nd September 2011, 00:55   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fc*uk View Post
c). opening pools for the summer; after they have festered all winter and grown all sorts of extra life forms in the spring. Oh, once I fell in. I was sick that entire summer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxRpWpNGEl8

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Old 22nd September 2011, 01:29   #12
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yeah dude. Same type of a pool. Those fiberglass pools are slippery as fuck. The one I slid down into had more water in it though; it was about half full.
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Old 22nd September 2011, 12:47   #13
Widdykats
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"b). working for the ohio poultry association blood testing chickens for roids. You ever try to prick a bird?"
Perv......
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Old 22nd September 2011, 23:08   #14
fc*uk
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But cluckie wanted it!

(s)he had insane breasts that made just about any sane person wonder (errr --- drool).



I think it was tyson's farms. Their birds were generally all clean in Ohier.
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Old 7th October 2011, 18:55   #15
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quality thinking..
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Old 9th October 2011, 23:22   #16
hgnis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior of the Light View Post


That's why there are two Johnsons: the one does the fabrication, the other one the testing.
As I recall they are pretty big on animal testing.

I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick.
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