Originally Posted by Warrior of the Light
My wife works at a home with elderly people with dementia.
Most often the family says they should have placed their parents there earlier.
Most people want to wait until the last possible moment.
But at that point, they're usually 'too far' to move them from the home they have often lived for decades. If done earlier, they can adapt to their new home and often live happier because they can accept their new home as their own home.
You got that right. I waited way too long. Maybe 5 years too long. It made an old man out of me. The nursing homes aren't really great either. Most of the people taking care of my mom were pretty cool, but nursing homes are a greed machine and it shows.
The food sucked. The overall care was kinda marginal. I found out I was still spending a few hours a day dealing with mom stuff and spoiling her as best I could. This is for $6700 a month. 3 hots and a cot.
Then there is having that conversation with mom and it's usually when you are way beyond being able to hack it. Even though the person you are talking to has been reduced to a cantankerous 12 year old, they still have rights. Even though they do something every day to give you gray hair... they get to choose what they want to do... it's not right to interfere unless they are at risk of immediate harm. You should always give someone the illusion (at least) that they are calling their own shots. That's dignity. It's also completely out the window when you hit the door at a nursing home.
I think it's just something you get sucked into. You get so burned out. Some of this crap over the years is just like a blur.
My grandpa was out fishing. He was taking a leak. Had a massive coronary. Found him pecker in hand. We should all be so lucky.
My friends mom died yesterday at home. Luckily she was only ill for 6 months.
One thing I noticed. Almost no guys at the nursing home. Maybe it is good to be a bacon eating guy.
If you asked me when I put mom in the nursing home whether I waited too long, I'd say yes. Now that she's passed on, I have a more rested perspective.
Shit happens. Then you die.
It was a failed job interview.
If you really care call the guy and plead 13 hours on the road. Something like... I know I botched up this interview, but I'd really like the job.... Explain why.
I did this once and it worked once. It is pretty brassy, but hell... nobody else is gonna sell you......
If I was looking at a guy that wanted to move back home, I think I'd be looking at a guy that I figured would hang around. That would be a big plus. I wouldn't likely have to replace you next year. If nobody says you're a troll that eats little children, that would sell me.
The hard working teacher dude who plays DJ's dances on his own time, a home town guy who'd like to be near his elderly parents....
Get me a violin... I'd have the guy crying.......
They might still tell you no... but people really hate to say no... If you can give them a reason not to, you got a shot.
Somewhere in the Bible it says something like "Ask and you shall receive". That's not just God. People are pretty decent too.
Along with that goes. Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.