Somebody tell me a joke..... - Page 5

jns · 3rd March 2001, 10:37

ragnaril · 3rd March 2001, 15:50

Marvin's a web server now?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

/me collapses in fits of laughter

ElChevelle · 3rd March 2001, 16:02

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

A. Anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already in America!

Somebody · 3rd March 2001, 19:30

now that's funny

jns · 15th March 2001, 11:02

ElChevelle · 15th March 2001, 11:57

The Colorado State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters,fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears this summer.
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and
grizzly bear droppings:

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

jns · 15th March 2001, 12:19

Die_betrunken · 15th March 2001, 15:11

If someone has already typed these, then i apologize in advance... i didnt bother too read all of the jokes

Three guys, a Russian, a Mexican, and a Texan are riding
their horses through the desert. They come upon an oasis
and decide to stop for the night. Sitting around the
campfire, the Russian gets up and goes to his horse. He
pulls a bottle of Absolute Vodka out of his sattlebag.
Then he breaks the seal on it, downs a gulp, and smashes
the bottle on the rocks. He says, "There is plenty of
Vodka in Mother Russia."
The Mexican, not to be out-done by the Russian, goes to
his horse. He pulls out a bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold,
breaks the seal on it, and downs a gulp. He then throws
the bottle against the rocks and says, "We have lots of
Jose Cuervo Gold in Mexico."
The Texan, not to be out-done by the other two, gets up
and walks over to his horse. He pulls out a bottle of
Jack Black, breaks the seal on it, and downs half the
bottle. He then puts the bottle back in the sattlebag,
spins around, pops the Mexican in the forehead with his
revolver and says, "We have plenty of Mexicans in
Texas."

How do you make a cat go woof?
Douse it in petrol and throw a match at it.

little girl goes up to her mom and asks, "What's that?" The mom answers, "A vagina." And the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?" And the mom answers, "As soon as you grow up." Then the little girl goes up to her dad and asks, "What's that?" And the dad answers, "A penis." So the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?" And the the dad answers, "As soon as your mom goes to work."

jns · 16th March 2001, 10:50

Quote:

Originally posted by Die_betrunken
little girl goes up to her mom and asks, "What's that?" The mom answers, "A vagina." And the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?" And the mom answers, "As soon as you grow up." Then the little girl goes up to her dad and asks, "What's that?" And the dad answers, "A penis." So the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?" And the the dad answers, "As soon as your mom goes to work."

SICK!

Die_betrunken · 17th March 2001, 00:31

Yes it is

but i dont/never would practice such a thing...eww

Xerxes · 17th March 2001, 09:45

A riddle-

I am a long, shaft like object
I have a hole at one end
I have lots of little thin things sticking out of the other end
Both men and women enjoy me
When I am used, I am inserted into a bodily orifice
and usually moved around that orifice in a rythmic fashion
Also, when I am used, a white liquid is emitted out of that
orifice.

What Am I?

A toothbrush

Bilbo Baggins · 17th March 2001, 22:28

That is just...wrong.

s1138 · 17th March 2001, 22:53

lol

17th March 2001, 23:31

a girl walked into a bar and said "ouch"

Xerxes · 18th March 2001, 06:08

What's wrong about it bilbo? Did you have a different anwser in mind

jns · 19th March 2001, 12:41

Quote:

Originally posted by Xerxes
What's wrong about it bilbo? Did you have a different anwser in mind

Do we really want to know?

19th March 2001, 16:57

jns · 20th March 2001, 07:05

rofl

btw..

Quote:

How many people work here?
Oh, about half.

Assja · 20th March 2001, 16:16

Here's one..

Can you tune a fish?

Of course! It's full of scales

Lucos · 20th March 2001, 19:23

I too must also apologise if this has been posted before...

A bloke walks in to a bar... The whole place goes purely quiet!!!... He looks around and shouts at the top of his voice... "WHERE'S BILL??!!!"... No one answers. "WHERE IS BILL!!!!" He shouted again... The bloke became restless.

All of a sudden a rather weedy bloke from the middle of the crowd then shouted... "I AM BILL!!!" The angry one then went up to him, and kicked him in!!!.. The man walked off leaving the weedy one half unconcious!!!

After he left, everyone crowded around the man who started laughing. He had fits of laughter. One of the concerned witnesses asked "Why are you laughing?!!! You have just been kicked in!!!" The man kept laughing,... he was flipping hiseric!! he couldn't stop until he mumbled at the top of his voice....
=====================================================

" I'M NOT BILL!!!!"

=====================================================

ElChevelle · 12th May 2001, 13:18

Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get
there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step
on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains
them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly woman!"

The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes
St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly
woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first
guy.

The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He
manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter
comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on...a
very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, I
wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The blonde replied, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

ElChevelle · 12th May 2001, 13:21

A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm
count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's
office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.
She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing.
Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we
couldn't get the damn jar open!"

Die_betrunken · 19th May 2001, 00:07

A guy walks into a bar and goes up to the table and sees a dog lying on the floor licking it's testicles...then the guy looks at the bartender and says "gee i wish i could do that" and then the bartender says "you better ask him first he might bite you "

Mac2k · 21st May 2001, 09:23

what do you call an Indian carpenter?
Ahmed Ashed

Why are women sililar to a KFC?
becasue once youve finished with the legs and breasts there's only a soggy box to put your bone in.

thank you and goodnight

MAC

flatmatt · 22nd May 2001, 01:02

What do you call an insect that can't sing?

A pop fly!

Picaune News · 3rd June 2001, 19:04

So this guy walks out of a bar and into a church. He goes into the confessional.
Father Martin says, "Is there anything you need help with, my son?"

The Reply:
Yah. Is there any toilet paper on that other side? This one's out.

BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
I crack me up!

chiquita chad · 3rd June 2001, 19:36

what did the fish say when he smashed into a large concrete wall?

Dam

Picaune News · 3rd June 2001, 20:11

So there's this girl who loves jelly beans. She'll do nearly any thing for jelly beans.
One day, the boys give her fifty jelly beans for climbing the flagpole. She runs home and brags to her mother. The mother says, "Don't do that. They just want to see your underwear."
The next day, the boys give her one hundred jelly beans for climbing the flagpole. She runs home and brags to her mother. The mother says, "Don't do that. They just want to see your underwear."
The next day, the boys give her two hundred fifty jelly beans for climbing the flagpole. She runs home and brags to her mother. The mother says, "Don't do that. They just want to see your underwear."
The girl's reply,

"But I fooled them today, Mama! I wore no underwear!"

Sick, but still funny.

Kapil Tagore · 24th June 2001, 19:20

I will not let this thread die. I will continue posting on it so that it doesn't lie forgotten.

This service was brought to you by kRevive - Bringing life back from the dead.

hawk606 · 25th June 2001, 04:50

kRevive my thread! http://forums.winamp.com/showthread.php?threadid=52901 lol anyway..

a blonde and her boyfriend move in together and a few flaws start showing in the blonde's new housemate.
One day the toilet backs up and she says "honey, can you fix the plumbing please?" to which he replies, "i'm not an electrician, baby."
the next day the TV breaks and she goes "honey, can you fix the TV?" he says "i'm not a cable guy baby.."
the next day the lights go out and she says "honey can you fix the electricity please?" he again says "i'm not an electrician honey"
The next day the heat goes out and the blonde at this time is very uncomfortable in her new house and she says she'll move out if her boyfriend doesnt get it fixed. Just then their neighbour, a regular handyman, comes up to the door, having overheard their arguing.
He offers to fix every problem in their house if they teach him to play the flute. The blonde's boyfriend leaves while his neighbour works on the house, leaving the blonde alone with their neigbour. When he's done he says to the blonde;
"Okay, now you guys are my friends so i'm only charging a two hour flute lesson" He pauses and looks the blonde over. "...or you can have sex with me for the next two hours"
the two hours pass, and when the husband arrives home he says, "the house looks great, did you teach our neighbour to play the flute, honey?"
"I'm not a teacher, baby" replies the blonde.

fwgx · 25th June 2001, 13:42

I can't believe i've just spent the last 2hrs 40 mins reading every post in this thread. What am i doing with my life?

ecstatic · 26th June 2001, 16:19

"a baby seal walks into a club..."

fish · 27th June 2001, 00:15

Quote:

Originally posted by fuct'n'bored
y dose the blond take the shower door off of its hinges before she has a shower

so no one can look throu the keyhole

Why's there a keyhole in a shower door?

nateJC · 27th June 2001, 00:38

FNB goofed it up. Try it this way.

Why does the blonde take the _bathroom_ door off its hinges before she takes a shower?
So no one can look through the keyhole!

ElChevelle · 27th June 2001, 03:11

Quote:

Originally posted by Phily Baby
I can't believe i've just spent the last 2hrs 40 mins reading every post in this thread. What am i doing with my life?

What life?

Kapil Tagore · 7th July 2001, 18:16

Quote:

Originally posted by hawk606
kRevive my thread! http://forums.winamp.com/showthread.php?threadid=52901 lol anyway..

Sorry, I don't do it for free, look at this thread for more information on kRevive - Bringing life back from the dead.
http://forum.sonique.com/showthread.php?threadid=2575

Kapil Tagore · 14th July 2001, 02:32

This thread would've probably died forgotten. This is where kRevive comes in, doing yet another favor to our dear society.

This service was brought to you by kRevive - Bringing life back from the death.

fuct'n'bored · 14th July 2001, 02:59

Nofx Guy · 19th July 2001, 03:27

-2 potatoes are standing on a street corner. How do you know which one is the prostitute?

-the one with the sticker that says "idaho"

Marcel · 22nd July 2001, 20:42

a blondie sits on the ground.
She falls off!!

why are blondie jokes always two-liners?
otherwise the blonds wouldn't understand them!

how many blonds does it take to make a chocolate pie?
25, one to make the dough and 24 to peel the M&M's

what should you do when your mother-in-law in crawling towards you?
aim better and shoot again!

if you throw a blond girl and a brunette of the liberty-statue, which one is down first?
The brunette, the blond doesn't know the way down!

why did god create blond girls?
sheeps can't bring your beer.

Why did god create brunettes?
the blonds couldn't either!

What's wrong when your wife comes into the room and starts complaining?
The chain is too long.

two blonds are sitting in a train. The first one asks; 'How late is it?' the second one looks on the calendar and says;'it's 80 degrees' on which the first says;'then i have to get off at the next station!!'

A blond walks on a riverbank. Then she sees another blond at the other side. She screams;'How do i get to the other side?' The other blond replies;'you already are!!'

well that was it for now, get well soon!!(though i think you already are) And for the record, i looooove blonds, ok?
its just so much fun to make fun of them..

Ok, the last one;
Why did the blond girl didn't pass for her drivers license?
Whenever the door opens, she jumped on the backseat~~

3rd March 2001, 15:50	#162
ragnaril Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 19	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Marvin's a web server now? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... /me collapses in fits of laughter

15th March 2001, 15:11	#168
Die_betrunken Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 20	here's some If someone has already typed these, then i apologize in advance... i didnt bother too read all of the jokes Three guys, a Russian, a Mexican, and a Texan are riding their horses through the desert. They come upon an oasis and decide to stop for the night. Sitting around the campfire, the Russian gets up and goes to his horse. He pulls a bottle of Absolute Vodka out of his sattlebag. Then he breaks the seal on it, downs a gulp, and smashes the bottle on the rocks. He says, "There is plenty of Vodka in Mother Russia." The Mexican, not to be out-done by the Russian, goes to his horse. He pulls out a bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold, breaks the seal on it, and downs a gulp. He then throws the bottle against the rocks and says, "We have lots of Jose Cuervo Gold in Mexico." The Texan, not to be out-done by the other two, gets up and walks over to his horse. He pulls out a bottle of Jack Black, breaks the seal on it, and downs half the bottle. He then puts the bottle back in the sattlebag, spins around, pops the Mexican in the forehead with his revolver and says, "We have plenty of Mexicans in Texas." How do you make a cat go woof? Douse it in petrol and throw a match at it. little girl goes up to her mom and asks, "What's that?" The mom answers, "A vagina." And the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?" And the mom answers, "As soon as you grow up." Then the little girl goes up to her dad and asks, "What's that?" And the dad answers, "A penis." So the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?" And the the dad answers, "As soon as your mom goes to work."

17th March 2001, 00:31	#170
Die_betrunken Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 20	haha Yes it is but i dont/never would practice such a thing...eww

17th March 2001, 23:31	#174
xapec Guest Posts: n/a	lame a girl walked into a bar and said "ouch"

20th March 2001, 16:16	#179
Assja Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Norway Posts: 376	Here's one.. Can you tune a fish? Of course! It's full of scales 1 2 3 4 5 This sentence is a lie!

3rd March 2001, 10:37	#161
jns Forum King Join Date: Dec 2000 Posts: 3,175

3rd March 2001, 16:02	#163
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already in America!

3rd March 2001, 19:30	#164
Somebody Major Dude Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 1,531	now that's funny

15th March 2001, 11:02	#165
jns Forum King Join Date: Dec 2000 Posts: 3,175

15th March 2001, 11:57	#166
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	The Colorado State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters,fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears this summer. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings: Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

15th March 2001, 12:19	#167
jns Forum King Join Date: Dec 2000 Posts: 3,175

17th March 2001, 09:45	#171
Xerxes Capitalist Alumni Join Date: May 2000 Location: my 4 Houses on Park Place Posts: 8,688	A riddle- I am a long, shaft like object I have a hole at one end I have lots of little thin things sticking out of the other end Both men and women enjoy me When I am used, I am inserted into a bodily orifice and usually moved around that orifice in a rythmic fashion Also, when I am used, a white liquid is emitted out of that orifice. What Am I? A toothbrush

17th March 2001, 22:28	#172
Bilbo Baggins Wind Chime of the Apocalypse Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Forest Posts: 17,228	That is just...wrong.

17th March 2001, 22:53	#173
s1138 Alumni? Join Date: May 2000 Location: joja Posts: 6,936	lol

18th March 2001, 06:08	#175
Xerxes Capitalist Alumni Join Date: May 2000 Location: my 4 Houses on Park Place Posts: 8,688	What's wrong about it bilbo? Did you have a different anwser in mind

20th March 2001, 19:23	#180
Lucos Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: A galaxy far far away. Posts: 186	I too must also apologise if this has been posted before... A bloke walks in to a bar... The whole place goes purely quiet!!!... He looks around and shouts at the top of his voice... "WHERE'S BILL??!!!"... No one answers. "WHERE IS BILL!!!!" He shouted again... The bloke became restless. All of a sudden a rather weedy bloke from the middle of the crowd then shouted... "I AM BILL!!!" The angry one then went up to him, and kicked him in!!!.. The man walked off leaving the weedy one half unconcious!!! After he left, everyone crowded around the man who started laughing. He had fits of laughter. One of the concerned witnesses asked "Why are you laughing?!!! You have just been kicked in!!!" The man kept laughing,... he was flipping hiseric!! he couldn't stop until he mumbled at the top of his voice.... ===================================================== " I'M NOT BILL!!!!" =====================================================

12th May 2001, 13:18	#181
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!" The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy. The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on...a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The blonde replied, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

12th May 2001, 13:21	#182
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!"

19th May 2001, 00:07	#183
Die_betrunken Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 20	harde har hound A guy walks into a bar and goes up to the table and sees a dog lying on the floor licking it's testicles...then the guy looks at the bartender and says "gee i wish i could do that" and then the bartender says "you better ask him first he might bite you "

21st May 2001, 09:23	#184
Mac2k Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: United Kindom Posts: 4	joke what do you call an Indian carpenter? Ahmed Ashed Why are women sililar to a KFC? becasue once youve finished with the legs and breasts there's only a soggy box to put your bone in. thank you and goodnight MAC

22nd May 2001, 01:02	#185
flatmatt Iron Chef (Reviewer) Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Winamp Island Posts: 3,039	I made this up in Math class... What do you call an insect that can't sing? A pop fly! flatmatt.com v5.0 \| Echoes \| Meddling Kids v1.52 Space Invaders v1.1 \| Danielle Fishel v1.11

3rd June 2001, 19:04	#186
Picaune News Banned Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 50	Cleverly Stupid So this guy walks out of a bar and into a church. He goes into the confessional. Father Martin says, "Is there anything you need help with, my son?" The Reply: Yah. Is there any toilet paper on that other side? This one's out. BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! I crack me up!

3rd June 2001, 19:36	#187
chiquita chad Forum King Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 2,391	what did the fish say when he smashed into a large concrete wall? Dam Artist Track

3rd June 2001, 20:11	#188
Picaune News Banned Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 50	So there's this girl who loves jelly beans. She'll do nearly any thing for jelly beans. One day, the boys give her fifty jelly beans for climbing the flagpole. She runs home and brags to her mother. The mother says, "Don't do that. They just want to see your underwear." The next day, the boys give her one hundred jelly beans for climbing the flagpole. She runs home and brags to her mother. The mother says, "Don't do that. They just want to see your underwear." The next day, the boys give her *two hundred fifty jelly beans* for climbing the flagpole. She runs home and brags to her mother. The mother says, "Don't do that. They just want to see your underwear." The girl's reply, "But I fooled them today, Mama! I wore no underwear!" Sick, but still funny.

24th June 2001, 19:20	#189
Kapil Tagore Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Bogotá, Colombia Posts: 31	I will not let this thread die. I will continue posting on it so that it doesn't lie forgotten. This service was brought to you by kRevive - Bringing life back from the dead. This service was brought to you by kPost - Entertainment services for an overbearing world.

25th June 2001, 04:50	#190
hawk606 Super Freaky (Alumni) Join Date: May 2000 Location: pab's house Posts: 580	keep my musical sausage alive! kRevive my thread! http://forums.winamp.com/showthread.php?threadid=52901 lol anyway.. a blonde and her boyfriend move in together and a few flaws start showing in the blonde's new housemate. One day the toilet backs up and she says "honey, can you fix the plumbing please?" to which he replies, "i'm not an electrician, baby." the next day the TV breaks and she goes "honey, can you fix the TV?" he says "i'm not a cable guy baby.." the next day the lights go out and she says "honey can you fix the electricity please?" he again says "i'm not an electrician honey" The next day the heat goes out and the blonde at this time is very uncomfortable in her new house and she says she'll move out if her boyfriend doesnt get it fixed. Just then their neighbour, a regular handyman, comes up to the door, having overheard their arguing. He offers to fix every problem in their house if they teach him to play the flute. The blonde's boyfriend leaves while his neighbour works on the house, leaving the blonde alone with their neigbour. When he's done he says to the blonde; "Okay, now you guys are my friends so i'm only charging a two hour flute lesson" He pauses and looks the blonde over. "...or you can have sex with me for the next two hours" the two hours pass, and when the husband arrives home he says, "the house looks great, did you teach our neighbour to play the flute, honey?" "I'm not a teacher, baby" replies the blonde. hey

25th June 2001, 13:42	#191
fwgx Rudolf the Red. (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2000 Posts: 9,314	I can't believe i've just spent the last 2hrs 40 mins reading every post in this thread. What am i doing with my life? "We think science is interesting and if you disagree, you can fuck off."

26th June 2001, 16:19	#192
ecstatic Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: NJ Posts: 313	"a baby seal walks into a club..."

27th June 2001, 00:38	#194
nateJC Major Dude Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: an interstella burst i'm back to save the universe Posts: 953	FNB goofed it up. Try it this way. Why does the blonde take the _bathroom_ door off its hinges before she takes a shower? So no one can look through the keyhole! This is your brain. This is your brain on pot. This is your brain desperately searching for Doritos. natejc@myrealbox.com \|\| Prosthetic Head \|\| Go ahead, press it, you know you want to!

14th July 2001, 02:32	#197
Kapil Tagore Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Bogotá, Colombia Posts: 31	This thread would've probably died forgotten. This is where kRevive comes in, doing yet another favor to our dear society. This service was brought to you by kRevive - Bringing life back from the death. This service was brought to you by kPost - Entertainment services for an overbearing world.

14th July 2001, 02:59	#198
fuct'n'bored Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 349	as per el's instructions:D hah, you cant even lif, let alone swing, the dictionary i deserv.please dont use a crain

19th July 2001, 03:27	#199
Nofx Guy Major Dude Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: under a rock Posts: 998	-2 potatoes are standing on a street corner. How do you know which one is the prostitute? -the one with the sticker that says "idaho" www.audioflo.ath.cx All music, All the Time

22nd July 2001, 20:42	#200
Marcel Junior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Holland Posts: 4	hehehe, better hold on to your heart!! a blondie sits on the ground. She falls off!! why are blondie jokes always two-liners? otherwise the blonds wouldn't understand them! how many blonds does it take to make a chocolate pie? 25, one to make the dough and 24 to peel the M&M's what should you do when your mother-in-law in crawling towards you? aim better and shoot again! if you throw a blond girl and a brunette of the liberty-statue, which one is down first? The brunette, the blond doesn't know the way down! why did god create blond girls? sheeps can't bring your beer. Why did god create brunettes? the blonds couldn't either! What's wrong when your wife comes into the room and starts complaining? The chain is too long. two blonds are sitting in a train. The first one asks; 'How late is it?' the second one looks on the calendar and says;'it's 80 degrees' on which the first says;'then i have to get off at the next station!!' A blond walks on a riverbank. Then she sees another blond at the other side. She screams;'How do i get to the other side?' The other blond replies;'you already are!!' well that was it for now, get well soon!!(though i think you already are) And for the record, i looooove blonds, ok? its just so much fun to make fun of them.. Ok, the last one; Why did the blond girl didn't pass for her drivers license? Whenever the door opens, she jumped on the backseat~~

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