Nullsoft story on Canadian Shoe swap

[Dborg]

What is the fasination with Canadian shoes by Americans?

Here is another story that came accross email the other day!!

>Two Americans boarded a flight out of Salt Lake after the hockey
>game. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat.
>Just before take-off, a Canadian got on and took the aisle seat.
>After take-off, the Canadian kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and
>was settling in when the American in the window seat said, "I think
>I'll get up and get a beer." "No problem," said the Canadian, "I'll get
>it for you." While he was gone, one of the Americans picked up
>the Canadian's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer,
>the other American said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one
>too." Again, the Canadian obligingly went to fetch it and while he was
>gone, the other American picked up the other shoe and spat in it. When
>the Canadian returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the
>flight. As the plane was landing, the Canadian slipped his feet into his
>shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
>
>"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go
>on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity?
>This spitting in shoes, and pissing in beers?"

[Dborg]

http://www.winamp.com/news.jhtml?articleid=9181

The Great Canadian Shoe Swtich of 2002
By Jonathan Ward
Published March 22, 2002 @ 01:03 AM

The Great Canadian Shoe Swtich of 2002:A Nullsoft Bedtime Story.

Once upon a time there was a happy little boy named Denny. Denny came from a mythical land called Canadia. Denny loved his tiny country but he tired of their simple ways and decided to move to a place where people don't smother their fries in gravy and cheese curd. Denny came to america to seek his fortune. He met many nice llamas there. They even paid large sums of money to do nothing but sit in a chair all day and look angry. It was a nice life but Denny was restless. He grew tired of merely dressing like a woman. He wanted to actually meet good good clean american girls so he went back to school.
One day a magical package arrived for Denny. It was from Customatix.com and inside were some corrective shoes that only Canadians could wear.

"Let us open the box so that we might be deviant", said Steve. Upon seeing the branding of Canadia so boldly stitched on the shoe Steve was filled with disgust. "We must do something about this.",he exclaimed.

"I have a great idea", said Jonathan. Jonathan always had great ideas because he was the smartest and best looking of all the people working at Nullsoft. Boy was Jonathan great. It is nearly impossible to convey just how wonderful Jonathan and his ideas really were. Suffice it to say that he was briliant and good looking and, well, we only took one picture of him so we really had to play it up. Jonathan held aloft a stick of glue and the plan began to unfold. Moving right along. Steve found some old shoes under his desk. He printed out a couple of healthy god-fearing american flags. We glued the flags to the old shoes and then placed the old shoes into the new box making it look like it had never been opened.

Aus lent moral support to the whole endeavor.

Denny was so happy to get his package. "I am the happiest little canadian alive. Shoes are good for Northerners". But his happiness soon turned to utter depression as he realized that he had once again been usurped by quick witted americans. The following pics are blurred to convey the inner turmoil that Denny experienced. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,.

In the end Denny was left as a broken shell of a man. Steve and Jonathan lived happily ever after.

The End.


Talk Back To Us!




Talk about "The Great Canadian Shoe Swtich of 2002" in the Forums
Tell us more stories you'd like us to write about!
www.winamp.com/news.jhtml?articleid=9181

[Infekt]

Here is an interesting concept: “Canada rules”. I'm not Canadian but this country has some pretty peculiar yet fascinating, well educated, open-minded, intelligent, happy, good-natured people. On top of which, they take sh*t from everyone, with a level-head; especially from down south of the border.

Big ups Canada! You deserve much respected!

Ohhhh Caaaann-nadaaaaaah!

[Huehuetenango]

finally someone realizes just how great we are

uh, i mean, canadians are supposed to be humble, aren't we?
damn

[Tapewormz]

I don't care where I live. I have no allegiances to any country. Just aslong as there is hot chics, hot weather and cold drinks. Oh yeah...No terrorism would be nice. Think I'll move to Australia.

[Rocker]

and their's terrorism in canada....?

[Tapewormz]

Yeah man. We had the FLQ running around years ago killing english speaking canadians.