13th April 2002, 00:09
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#1 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,738
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4 1/2 years for Nothin
 for 4.5 years i loved a girl i went to school with and now...just now i find out that she only likes me "as a friend" can anyone tell me if there is still some chance for me to get her?
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13th April 2002, 00:17
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#2 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,546
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i know how you feel man, that happened to me a few months back (though, admittedly, it was only a year and a half or so)
she was one of my best friends for that time, and i thought that it would eventually become something more, she now has a boyfriend, and i've stopped deluding myself man, in the event of something like this, move on. There's no point in dwelling in what might have been, or what might possibly still be. Find someone else, but don't simply abandon this girl. If she still wants to, and it doesn't hurt too much, remain friends with her. i'm sorry |
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13th April 2002, 00:27
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#3 |
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Moderator Alumni
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Next Door
Posts: 8,942
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you shouldn't have wasted 4 and a half years on this girl in the first place, the situation you are in is kind of your fault,, you should have said something to this girl a long time ago, the max I'll wait to say something to a girl is 1 year and that is in extreme conditions.
-Jay | Radio Toolbox.com |
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13th April 2002, 00:30
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#4 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Hawarden
Posts: 2,115
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Sorry. We've all been there. You're just going to have to chalk this one up to experience. It's down to you now whether you can be a friend to her or not, knowing now what you do. If you can't, then tell her that and make a dignified exit from her life (Very very very hard, I know).
And it isn't four and a half years for nothing, because you've learned lessons that you will take with you for the rest of your life. Just try not to become bitter - it's not her fault and it's not your fault. Some things just aren't meant to be. This is a bit negative, sorry , just remember that what you've been through will serve you in good stead in the future (and if she sees you with your next girlfriend it won't change anything but it will piss her right off).Good luck! There's no need to tell me when I'm right; I operate on that principle exclusively and with absolute certainty |
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13th April 2002, 00:35
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#5 | |
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Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,546
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13th April 2002, 00:43
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#6 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 948
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Yeah man, don't be so hard on yourself. It just happens, and it happens to all of us.
In fact, my current girlfriend did that. And EXACTLY a year after that happened, I find myself with her. Call it ironic, and call me lucky I guess. In most cases though, girls like that don't come back. If you can't handle the idea of being friends with her, it might be unhealthy for you to be around her, but if you don't mind still having her as someone to look to as a friend, then don't let this stop you. These things take some time to heal, but you've got plenty more years to find a girl that really likes you. Just hang in there, bud. It's not the end of the world. |
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13th April 2002, 00:43
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#7 | |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Mobil Ave.
Posts: 5,381
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Re: 4 1/2 years for Nothin
Quote:
"Welcome to the Island of people who know too much."..."Did you really think balloons would stop him?!" See what I'm listening too. |
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13th April 2002, 02:30
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#8 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: 101010
Posts: 750
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With all these love problem related posts lately, one song keeps coming to my mind...can anyone guess.
Well if you said "Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band you are right. I can't say that there is any other song out there that is more true than that song. Love is a very ironic emotion, on one hand it can cause you the greatest happiness of your life, but on the other, it can ruin your life and make you feel like utter crap. If life calls and you're busy, let the answering machine pick-up. Just so you know, my previous avatar was NOT a swastika, nor did it have much similarity to one. Just thought I'd clear that up since I cannot use my own original art work. |
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13th April 2002, 02:49
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#9 | |
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Puts the Cuss in General Discussions
(Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Cincy, Ohio
Posts: 3,624
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Quote:
missyob made me post this. |
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13th April 2002, 06:02
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#10 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: SC
Posts: 447
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I think all us guys have been there. Here are three warning signs that have always been a pattern for me;
1- If you ever get to the point where you are doing laundry together or she is doing your laundry and she stops this. LOOK OUT! Don`t know why but this has always been a precurser for doom in my experiance. 2- If she ever tells you "we can still be friends" (this is the blue screen of death) the total crash is imminent. Forget it, unless all you really want is a friend. (Fat chance!) 3- If she ever says I love you but I`m not "in love with you"- (See above.) |
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13th April 2002, 06:11
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#11 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 498
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sucks .. =(
its a give .. nice guys finish last. only be nice all the time to girls you don't wanna date and treat the ones you like less nice. ......... |
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13th April 2002, 12:26
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#12 | |
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Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,738
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Quote:
 (ive been cryin all night)
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13th April 2002, 12:47
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#13 | |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Westcoast
Posts: 531
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Quote:
This is exactly what I said to my ex just before I moved out, serious!  ....but I'm a guy, I think I was just repeating what I've heard many times beforeI think if you have to treat a girl you like with less respect then it's not a girl you really want to be with anyways 
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13th April 2002, 19:55
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#14 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,546
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some things just aren't meant to be
i believe in fate and destiny and all that stuff everything happens for a reason goldensphinx, trust me, you may not believe it now, but someday you'll realize that this had a reason for happening hell, i'm almost scared to think of what it might have been like if i had ended up going out w/ my friend as i said once, "to all that might have been, but thankfully, wasn't" |
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13th April 2002, 20:02
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#15 | |
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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Manchester
Posts: 4,209
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Quote:
Just a friend, eh? That happened to me, but not after such a long time. I just had to realise this: Other fish are in the sea. You just have to find them - therein lies the tricky part. 
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13th April 2002, 20:54
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#16 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Between the legs
Posts: 293
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Here is from someone with experience.
I used to think that I must have girl G (for Gone!) and that I could not go on without having her. She rejected me and I was crushed. Sometime afterwards, my feelings started to build up for girl A (cause she's my number 1). Now, I'm with girl A and I was glad that girl G rejected me. Girl A gave my life much more meaning than girl G has ever had. Girl G wanted me back in the end, but I shut the door in her face and lived happily with girl A ever after. The lesson is, if she doesn't want you in the first place, forget about it and move on. If after about a year and she has no feelings for you, chances are that it would never be love LOVE. Who's your daddy? |
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13th April 2002, 22:16
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#17 | |
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Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,738
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13th April 2002, 22:21
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#18 |
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The Freak
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 9,400
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I say be honest, tell her how you feel....dont expect her to let you know how she feels straight away though. She might be shocked, or she might feel the same way about you but doesnt know how to tell you....unless youre upfront and honest about it you'll never know.
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13th April 2002, 22:26
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#19 | |
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Forum King
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14th April 2002, 02:29
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#20 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 58,409,042
Posts: 1,614
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I can`t offer too much advice for this girl, but all I have to say is you only live once. Don`t waste time putting it off, just get up the balls to do it, and you`ll be happy you did.
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14th April 2002, 12:02
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#21 | |
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Forum King
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14th April 2002, 14:26
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#22 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: England
Posts: 369
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You don't want her, I'm sorry to say this, and shatter any hopes, but from personal experience within the last couple of hours - girls just come around and stab you in the back. I could quite happily go on a rampage right now and kill them all. FUCKING BITCHES THE LOT OF THEM
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14th April 2002, 15:27
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#23 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Milliways
Posts: 921
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Seems we all have a story, and from the sounds of things not a good one, but interms of warning signs (as started by Kenny D)
-When she's pregnent, and your still a virgin -When she starts to return your things -When your forced to sleep on the couch when you stay overnight -When she goes home at 3am instead of staying the night (all just one girl unfortunetly, and i was too dumb to get out before i was hurt) But really, sometimes it doesn't hurt to show the girl of your affection some sign that she is the girl of your affection, preferably before things go to hell, and she commits herself to someone else. 4&1/2yrs would deffinitley be a little long to wait. It's almost as though after a time you become permentley "just a friend", and they stop seeing your advances and such. But sometimes being throwon off by the girl you really liked can be an eye-opening experience, and sometimes it can work out for the better. 4 and a bit years ago i went through almost the same thing, i was really good friends with a girl who i really liked. So i made the first move and asked her out for coffee. That was perhaps one of the worst moves i could possibly have made at the time. Her imediate response was to throw me through a plateglass window (which both hurt, and was very expensive). Then comes the good part of the story, about a year later she asked me out (in a really sweet way to). So it can all be good in the end. (well rather the middle, the end sucks, but thats different) But really.. remember, there are always other fish in the see, and one of them will like you for the apparently nice guy you were/are, and you'll find someone else... it has to happen eventually. So cheer up, and like everyone else said, if it hurts too much, make a gracefull exit from her life (i would avoid the use of plate glass windows), and if it doesn't hurt too much, then atleast you still have the same friend you always had. |
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14th April 2002, 16:30
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#24 | ||
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Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2002
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14th April 2002, 17:51
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#25 | |
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Forum King
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: The Internet Posts: 3 Trillion
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Quote:
I've been nice to mostly every girl I have known, except for the ones that always are mean to me, and that I don't like. I've acted the direct opposite of nice, and some girls don't like that. I'm a nice guy that will not try to finish last. At least I still have confidence even if everytime I'm let down and crash, I stand right back up and try again. 
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14th April 2002, 17:55
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#26 | |
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Forum King
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14th April 2002, 18:36
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#27 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Milliways
Posts: 921
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It may be, but if you act not-nice to them then your likely not acting like you right? and if god-forbid they should fall inlove with your act then your screwed, because you'll need to continue acting for a longtime yet. On the other hand if you treat them nicely, yes, they'll think of you as friends, but eventually one of them will see you for the nice, kind sorta person you are. Trust me, nice guys may finish last, but everynow and then they get to lead the pack for a bit. Being nice and friendly got me the best 3yrs of my life.
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14th April 2002, 21:18
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#28 | |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: England
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14th April 2002, 21:45
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#29 | |
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Forum King
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14th April 2002, 22:06
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#30 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: England
Posts: 369
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no problem, I'm sorry too, I've been snapping at people all day
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14th April 2002, 23:04
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#31 | |
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Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,546
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15th April 2002, 07:56
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#32 | |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 498
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Quote:
but nice guy is a loose term. I figure if you have an edgy side, you'll be ok. ......... |
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15th April 2002, 09:48
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#33 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: SC
Posts: 447
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Go get em, Sphinx!
To get out of your "broken-hearted, no one loves me mood" Push yourself and go out and meet as many girls (and/or women) as you can.
After my "crushed dream" I moped a month or two and then started meeting girls thru a free date-finder section in a local paper. I dated 15 girls that year and talked with probably a dozen more on the phone. I was too busy to think much about my woes. I felt a new sense of freedom. I still prefer a close relationship with one woman, but this was an eye-opening experiance. Had some interesting times. But the main thing is I learned a few things. I was in demand (real ego builder), I was amazed at how fast some of these gals moved and I got to see the other side of the coin, I had to be the one to say we can be friends, that ain`t easy either. There were some rejections, of course but mostly good times.I didn`t meet the girl of my dreams but the first girl I dated is now my best friend and my present gf I met thru her. It`s been many, many, years now and I occasionally still dream of that first real love. But it doesn`t hurt much any more. I used to think this could only happen to me , but after reading all these posts, IT`S THE SAME OLD STORY! And that concludes this episode of TRUE CONFESSIONS. Stay tuned! |
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15th April 2002, 11:21
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#34 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,738
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thx...ill try
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