How long are you?

[pcmacman]

So? How long?




Its all ReDVision's fault....

[Hunter]

Idiot

You have to know the whole story. It is pointless, but clearly being done tongue-in-cheek. We have to learn to laugh at our shortcomings.

[BMWboy]

Originally posted by N e m e s s i s


so to speak of course.

Obviously. It also opens the door for lots of bad puns (like mine). I like a good pun, but sometimes a bad one suits the mood.

[kljs]

even more lame.......

[QHOBBES]

longer than those soniquers!

[Xerxes]

What are you lilliputian or something? 10 inches is freakingly short for a human beings' length. Try starting with 5 feet! Gah!

[griffinn]

"The 3 conditions"

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don't reject the guy outright.

So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."

The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."

Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."

The African king pauses for a while. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."

Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."

[apollos]

LMAO!
I thought it was a vote on height. The second I voted did I realise it might be something else!

But hey! Gimme a break! I only just woke up!!

I think its pretty perverted how people at school always ask each other. /me looks for grossed out smily but finds none...

[dylman]

A man was rushing down the street, absolutely desperate for a pee. He was running holding his crotch, almost bent double he was that
desperate. Eventually he spots a pub, so he dashes in, runs through
the bar and into the toilet and lets himself go with an almighty sigh of relief.

To his absolute horror, it goes everywhere. He splashes himself, the two other guys in the bathroom, up the walls, on the
ceiling, everywhere but in the urinal. Needless to say, he was beaten to within an inch of his life.

A few days later, when he'd recovered, he went to see his doctor to
find out what the problem was.

"Doctor", he said. "When I go to the bathroom I pee all over the
place. It goes everywhere and it's very distressing, I can tell you".

"Hmmm", said the doctor. "Let's have a look at your old fella and
maybe we can see what the problem is".

So the man plops his schlong out on the desk for the doctor to look
at. After a few minutes of prodding and poking, the doctor reaches
into his desk drawer and pulls out a magnifying glass for a closer
inspection.

"Well", he said. "This is quite extraordinary, I've never seen this
before. Look here, you have a series of holes along the length of
your shaft. That is what is causing these leaks."

"My God", said the man. "You're right. What can I do? Do you have
any creams or ointments?"

"Tell you what", said the doctor, writing a name on a piece of paper
and handing it to the man. "Go and see this bloke here. He'll be able to sort you out, no worries."

"Oh thank you, doctor! Is he a specialist or something?"

"No, he's a flute player", replied the doctor with a grin. "He'll tell you how to hold it!".

[eleet-2k2]

Originally posted by kljs
even more lame.......

Quite correct.

[ElChevelle]

I tried to think of a joke to put here but came up short
That and there is such stiff competion from the other jokers
I'll think of one and be able to stand tall amongst my fellow Winampers again

[fish]

I think pcpacman is what we call a one-inch-wonder

[patroclus22]

Originally posted by phisherman
I think pcpacman is what we call a one-inch-wonder

Better that than a one nut wonder ( I know a few of those)

[fish]

Originally posted by patroclus22


Better that than a one nut wonder ( I know a few of those)

[img]http://members.***********/iowetinkinc/talkshows/image27.jpg[/img]

(Let's see if tripod doesnt kill that...)

[patroclus22]

LMAO

Aren't Klingons supposed to have 3?

[edit] Penile Trivia: The erect penis of a blue whale is typically 7 to 10 FEET long[/edit]

[Atmo]

Where did all this penis talk come from??

[OutKast]

I didn't know if this topic was referring to erect or non erect so i voted at my non erect size. So, my dcik isn't that small mods!!

[Bilbo Baggins]

Originally typed in Klingon by Atmo The Freak


Where did all this penis talk come from??

NOTHING to do with me for a change.

[papadoc]

There used to be a race car driver with Nascar named Dick Trickle.
But he couldn't hang with the big boys.
Now he's hard to find.

I'm wondering why men are so sensitive about talking about their bodies? Why is it lame? HBO did a documentary called "The Vagina Monologues". The women were very open in discussing the topic. Are we that insecure as males?

I understand these are the Winamp Forums and there may be better places to do this, but this is General Discussions and Winamp has always set the standard for firsts.

[ElChevelle]

I've got a penis, two nads and a pink wrinkled star in the back.
My peenie is of average gorilla length-no more, no less.
My double danglers, while shy, mostly just hang out.
The pink wrinkled star never gets visitors due to the sign that hangs outside:
One Way-Exit Only

[Bilbo Baggins]

I am prepared to put a photo of my penis on the site if you want.

[GoldenSphynx]

i had no prob voting on this poll

Originally posted by Bilbo Baggins
I am prepared to put a photo of my penis on the site if you want.

Save it for the upcumming HBO special.

[ElChevelle]

I could post the composite sketch the police had made after the last time mine was seen loitering near a zoo

Originally posted by ElChevelle
I could post the composite sketch the police had made after the last time mine was seen loitering near a zoo

Did the female elephants stampede away in fear?

[Bilbo Baggins]

yeah, elephants are scared of small hairy things aren't they?

[ElChevelle]

Either way, all the long necked giraffes took me in as one of their own

[papadoc]

Funny, I thought maybe you'd been in with the boa constrictors.

[Bilbo Baggins]

Originally posted by ElChevelle
Either way, all the long necked giraffes took me in as one of their own

You mean you eat trees too?

[ElChevelle]

Originally posted by papadoc
Funny, I thought maybe you'd been in with the boa constrictors.

Hangin out with boa constrictors is a tad homoerotic, don't ya think?

Originally posted by Bilbo Baggins


You mean you eat trees too?

They really lick leaves off trees and with my tongue, I can lick leaves with the best of 'em