31st December 2003, 17:37
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#1 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
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So I was walking my gerbil...
So I was walking my gerbil, and there was a rock.
And I was all like, "Hey, FUCK you!". And the rock was all like, "No, YOU fuck you!". But then the clowns came. So I was all like, "What the FUCK?", and the clowns were all like "Freeze!". Then I pulled out my snickers bar, and was all like "Die, bitch!". I betcha this thread hasn't been posted before! So all of it did. And I was all like "Pyaw, bitch!". And then Ralph was there. But Ralph can suck it. So I said "What's up, fucker?". Then he cried. And since color schemes arn't working, this text should be hidden for everyone So I went to the Wal-Mart. And I wanted some popsicles. And I was all like "Yo, where be the popsicles?". But the Popsicle King was there. So he said "The popsicles be right here". Then I got my popsicles.. It's a new form of poetry. Feel free to contribute your own story in this form Moral of the story: Don't kill clowns when you're craving a popsicle. Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. Last edited by xzxzzx; 31st December 2003 at 18:18. |
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31st December 2003, 17:46
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#2 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: West London
Posts: 868
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'In this country, it takes all the running you can do to stay in one place.'" |
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31st December 2003, 17:55
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#3 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,757
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Someone get the sedatives...
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31st December 2003, 17:58
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#4 |
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Insomniac
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,033
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...
Scotty Doesn't Know |
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31st December 2003, 18:04
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#5 |
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Made In The USA
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 502
Posts: 9,100
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So this is what doing drugs feels like, eh...
"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz |
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31st December 2003, 18:08
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#6 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
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I resemble that remark.
Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
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31st December 2003, 18:47
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#7 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,353
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bwhahahaha
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31st December 2003, 19:02
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#8 |
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Forum King
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Fnord?!
Posts: 2,657
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Hummmmmm....
You forgot to tell them about the little birdies that came flying out of the popsicles, the little birdies happened to be apple-flavored canaries, and you were like, "Whut up birdies". But before they said anything back, they flew away, leaving you sitting thinking how rude the birds and been, which made you want to teach the birds a lesson for being so rude. So, you pulled out your squirt gun from underneath the bench that had appeared underneath you and began to open fire on the birdies. Instead of water coming out of the squirt gun, flowers came out. The flowers fell on the ground and you were like, "On no! Poor floweres!" So you then picked the flowers up and started running downtown, but before you got downtown you noticed that the popsicles were chasing after you! Using your amazing strength you decided to turn the flowers into an airplane to help you escape the popsicles, since your life was soooo much more important then the flowers Jumping into your brand-new airplane you sped away just in time to get away from the popsicles, but as you were making your great escape you remembered that you don't know how to fly a plane, so you were like, "Dude! I don't know how to fly a plane!" Richard Simmons suddenly jumped out from behind you and started screaming that no one knows how to fly the plane and that they all were going to die! Keeping your cool, you calmy responded, "Dude, we can't die, we are invisible, invisible people can't die." You then used your invisible powers to slip through the floor and you gracefully floated down to the bottom of the canyon you were in, meanwhile, the plane crashed into the side of the canyon emiting a huge fireball of molten cheese, and then you were like, "Sweet!, I like cheese!". Now noticing that the suns light was refrating off the molten cheese to make just the right color as to attract alien spaceships, a huge flying saucer came down and landed next to you and you were like, "Awesome, a flying saucer landed right next to me!". Moral of the story is- Be afraid of Yellow Christmas, it's bad, really it is, it may sound really nice and cool and all, but really, it's baaaaaad, trust me, it's bad. |
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31st December 2003, 19:46
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#9 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: m/cr, UK
Posts: 1,143
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You're all utterly insane.
Hopelessly insane, infact. Beyond redemption. You crossed the red line and kept going. I quote..."You've all done more drugs and drink than the average touring funk band" It's been said that I could start an arguement in an empty room.....I see no reason to disbelieve this. |
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31st December 2003, 19:51
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#10 | ||
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Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,527
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Re: So I was walking my gerbil...
Hmmm....
Quote:
but yet you still got your popsicles? Quote:
sorry I really didn't have anything to add... it is cool poetry tho. [added]heh secret code : p[/added] Moral of the story: Morals are full of crap. |
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1st January 2004, 09:39
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#11 |
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Wind Chime of the Apocalypse
Join Date: May 2000
Location: The Forest
Posts: 17,228
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I love you xzxzzx
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1st January 2004, 09:51
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#12 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Manchester
Posts: 6,470
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I'm a pretty girl. I'm a pretty girl. I'm a preeeeeetty girl.
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1st January 2004, 11:12
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#13 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Thoron fields and Duranium shadows. Posts: Crap mostly
Posts: 8,003
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Raz, I'll see your futurama and rase you an Abe Lincon bot with multiple personalities.
"I was born in 230 log cabbins!" Member most in need of SpellCheck Lifetime Achievement Award I'm a Twitch Streamer these days, it's weird. |
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1st January 2004, 13:21
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#14 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Mobil Ave.
Posts: 5,381
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LOL! Guys, you gotta remember not to post while under the influence, whether it be the influence of glue, drugs or alcohol.
"Welcome to the Island of people who know too much."..."Did you really think balloons would stop him?!" See what I'm listening too. |
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1st January 2004, 21:39
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#15 |
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Hobbit Humper
Forum King 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: banned camp
Posts: 4,127
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So I was walking in the alley and this guy came up and says
"Gimme your money." And I'm like "Yeah whatever." |
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1st January 2004, 21:49
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#16 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Canterbury & Plymouth
Posts: 4,176
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why do I read i was wnaking my gerbil? am i missing osmehting here? o.o
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1st January 2004, 21:54
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#17 | |
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Wind Chime of the Apocalypse
Join Date: May 2000
Location: The Forest
Posts: 17,228
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Quote:
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1st January 2004, 21:54
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#18 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
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nah
Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
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2nd January 2004, 00:14
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#19 |
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Got his CT back
and didn't pay $10 (Forum King) 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,583
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WTF?
This is a sig of some nature. |
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2nd January 2004, 00:16
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#20 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Portland, OR Life: None
Posts: 1,054
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Yeah, that happened to me last week.
- Viper007Bond | Viper007Bond.com |
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2nd January 2004, 00:18
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#21 |
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Hobbit Humper
Forum King
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: banned camp
Posts: 4,127
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Cleaqrly Aplools is drank.....
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2nd January 2004, 00:24
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#22 |
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Got his CT back
and didn't pay $10 (Forum King)
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,583
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ditto.
This is a sig of some nature. |
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2nd January 2004, 01:06
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#23 | |
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Ninja Master!
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Hotel California
Posts: 4,333
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Quote:
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2nd January 2004, 02:39
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#24 |
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Forum King
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Fnord?!
Posts: 2,657
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P0W3R T0 T3h T04ST M4CH1N3!
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2nd January 2004, 05:53
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#25 |
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Post Master General
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Seattle, Now Las Vegas
Posts: 6,032
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Very funny story.
I'm Back? |
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2nd January 2004, 06:35
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#26 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
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:
Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
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2nd January 2004, 11:13
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#27 | |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: melbourne Posts: First
Posts: 1,313
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Quote:
s0be And On that day, the Lords of the land said unto their Master Architect, "The temple you have made to the gods of Wasabi and Maki has brought us no great prosperity" and they sent out him into the lands. As he traveled to a far off land, he found he wasn't traveling alone, but that he had gained companions, and when they found their new land, they started work on a new temple, one that would be OPEN to all who wanted to worship. from The Book of Wasabi C 12 Vs 09 (pg 2003)
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2nd January 2004, 19:37
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#28 | |
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Made In The USA
(Forum King)
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 502
Posts: 9,100
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Quote:
"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz |
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2nd January 2004, 19:41
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#29 | |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
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Quote:
Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
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2nd January 2004, 19:44
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#30 |
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Made In The USA
(Forum King)
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 502
Posts: 9,100
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I don't need the warning...The underpants gnomes raided my house last night, so I'm already paranoid...
"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz |
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2nd January 2004, 23:02
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#31 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Norn Ir'nd, leek...
Posts: 6,287
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FUCK OAT!
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3rd January 2004, 00:52
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#32 |
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Forum King
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Fnord?!
Posts: 2,657
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The Adventures of xzxzzx: Chapter 3
So the aliens turned out to be nice people And they had really good food on their spaceship And they also had lots of free pr0n But once they whiped out the handcuffs and chains So I was like, "Oh no! Handcuffs and Chains!" Then it was time to go This poetry stuff is fun! It's so mysterious and cool like, I mean, it's like wow So I managed to make a daring escape by jumping out of the window And since I was still invisble I was able to breathe in space And then the aleins were mad though But I was able to outrun them using my magical talking popcorn that changes colors So I was like, "Hahaha" Then the aliens were sorry for chasing me I wonder if anybody will find out the secret to this magnificant poetry? So I went back home to earth And it was a really long trip And the trip was like woooooooooooow pretty colors Then I got back to earth So I was like, "Fuck yeah! Earth man!" But it wasn't earth, it was a big ball of jello If anybody does discover the secret, be sure to add to the story by making up your own poetry, either a new story or continuing this story! The Moral is: If your planet turns to jello, be sure to stockpile angel dust. This poetry is really easy to do! All you have to do is use the format So... And... And... Then... So... But... It's that easy! |
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3rd January 2004, 09:45
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#33 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
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The Adventures of xzxzzx: Chapter 4
So the jello was lime flavor And the rock was still there, all like "you fuck you!" And I was all still all like "FUCK you" Then I was trippin on a hole in a paper heart So Earth got all crunchy and shit But there wasn't any cap'n cruches So I said "FUCKITIZE ME, CAP'N!" And I got fucked And it was good Then I found my duck So I thought "to fuck?" But it wasn't a duck So there I was, with my four ho's and bitches And there were 3 penguins and 2 white, stained socks And duck getting fucked in a tree Then on the fourth day of duckmas I went and bought a mallard So it was all like "bite me" But it wasn't crunchy Moral of the story: Don't fuck a duck under the misletoe. Get a room, Cap'! Rhyme of the story: How many ducks could a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck ducks? Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
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3rd January 2004, 17:34
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#34 |
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Forum King
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Fnord?!
Posts: 2,657
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The Adventures of xzxzzx: Chapter 5
So then it came And it was a good come And it was a ship come Then there was a captain on the ship So he was like, "Suck me llama bizatchhhh" But I was like "Fuitylicious!>" So then the apple tree started growing And the apples changed colors And the apples were raping the tree Then the tree wanted pears So the tree was like "FREE WILLY!" But Willy can get fucked So Willy got fucked And it was by the fucking duck And it was the duck that I had fucked Then the duck wanted apples So the apples were like fuck But the duck stayed with Willy Moral of the Story: Whenever a tree wants to free willy be sure to take the apples and feed them to ducks. |
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6th January 2004, 17:07
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#35 |
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Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
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While somewhat disturbing, I just reread this thread, and it is a lot funnier now than when I was writing it. Holy shit, I can't believe how much I crack myself up (not to say S-uper_T-oast's posts are any less funny).
Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
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6th January 2004, 21:14
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#36 |
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Forum King
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Fnord?!
Posts: 2,657
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It is quite nice isn't it...
It could be better though... __--- Let's get some more people joining in the game! This poetry is really easy to do! All you have to do is use the format So... And... And... Then... So... But... Then write it as three stanzas with a moral at the end! It's that easy |
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6th January 2004, 21:42
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#37 |
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 61
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This thread is too cool for me! But I read it anyways cause I am so kick ass!
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21st May 2005, 22:31
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#38 |
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Forum King
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Fnord?!
Posts: 2,657
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The Adventrues of xzxzzx: Chapter 6 - Revenge of the BUMP
So willy was like BUMP and we were all like BUMP and even the thread was like BUMP then BUMP it did so after the BUMP it was good but still it was jello So maybe the BUMP was jello? and the fucking duck wasn't worth fuck and apples were like what? then it came back in one tormented rush so the rock said fuck? but still it was all jello So jello you say? and the bump is the jello? and the duck is a good fellow? then everything is so mello so in the end its all about the jello but fuck it dude lets go bowling The moral is: IF you feel like a bump, go bowling with jello. |
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21st May 2005, 23:10
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#39 | |
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Butterknife of Justice
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Behind you.
Posts: 5,502
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Quote:
I posted that how long ago? A year? I believe I was drunk and posting from my cousins house in New Brunswick. That's crazy that someone remembered that. (I'm also glad to see it's spreading! Ha! Dominion will be MINE) Memories... |
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21st May 2005, 23:11
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#40 |
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Major Dude
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 955
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The adventures of xzxzzx - Part 8
So, I went for a walk, and the rock was still there and I was all fuck you rock and the rock was all you fuck you then I did so the rock turned around but rocks can't turn around So, I thought I was dreaming and the rock told me I wasn't and I told the rock I wasn't then I woke up so the rock wasn't there anymore but I wasn't asleep So, I went bowling and the rock was there and I threw it at the pins then all the pins fell down so I was all hey look, all the pins fell down but the rock came back The moral of the story: Rocks are evil, especially when you go bowling |
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