Love, Sex, and Relationships? We'll answer your questions

. - .... .- -. .... · 17th May 2004, 14:04

Since the dawn of these fine forums, winamp forummers have had problems in these three areas.

Twilightseer and I are going to solve some of those problems today. We'll take any and all questions, and answer them to the best of our knowledge.

Now, you might say "But ethan, what kind of qualifications do you guys have?"

For one, I have listened to a ton of emo music, and a lot of talk radio. I can dispense advice like no other. I also owns an acoustic guitar, people. That has to count for something, right?

Twilightseer, on the other hand, has real life experience. HE has been able to successfully date a real girl, for many years now. He is particulary knowledgable on the subject of STDs and how to avoid getting them. He's also uhhh, well, let's not focus on his qualifications. He can help, though!

Note that we are probably wrong 99.9% of the time, and that its not strictly us who has to answer the questions, but we are just the first one who will devote time to it.

Also note there is no need to hate or or flame. if someone disagrees with our qualifcation they can just not post.

Ask away!

Twilightseer · 17th May 2004, 14:10

Exactly ! It's high time some started dealing with this sensitive subject.
I may not always respond to all demands, due to my wedding preparatives (I'm the living proof you can have enough time to develop a long-term relationship AND indugle in writing drivel on the Internet) but ethan_h and myself will do our best. Remember : no question can scare us. On the other hand, our answers will probably scare you (but that's a different issue).

/me waits for questions.

zootm · 17th May 2004, 14:13

OMG LOLZ HOW CAN I HAVE TEH HOTSEX?!?!?!?!?!

ROFL

mark · 17th May 2004, 14:15

cn yuo gt prgnt frm mastrb8n? lolzorz

Twilightseer · 17th May 2004, 14:15

Quote:

Originally posted by zootm
OMG LOLZ HOW CAN I HAVE TEH HOTSEX?!?!?!?!?!

ROFL

Simple reply : shove your tool into the oven.

NEXT.

. - .... .- -. .... · 17th May 2004, 14:17

Quote:

Originally posted by zootm
OMG LOLZ HOW CAN I HAVE TEH HOTSEX?!?!?!?!?!

ROFL

In order to have "teh hotsex", you're gonna need a girlfriend (or rohyphnol - well go into that later). If you are looking to get a girlfriend then you must become more social. Alcohol is a good way to become more social. I can vouch for this 100%. Infact I met pretty much all of my girlfriends by getting (them) drunk.

You need to find some sort of hobby outside of your computer driven life, sure computers are great but most girls don't like them, granted some do I am not trying to offend but I am just making a generalization about the subject. Try heading out to a local bar or a concert of some sort, get railed and talk to some girls. I am sure you are a great fellow on the inside and girls just need to know this, THEY AREN'T MIND READERS!

Maybe get a job and talk to girls there and network with your guy friends who have girlfriends and meet their friends. Just like Corporate America, it's "Who you know"

will · 17th May 2004, 14:22

I'm not a very nice person on the inside, my last girlfriend clamed I was "totally devoid of empathy", and I couldn't disagree at all.

So, as I also want to have "teh hotsex" what advice would you offer?

zootm · 17th May 2004, 14:23

right, cheers.

i can't think of a serious question right now, so i'll just silence meself

ElChevelle · 17th May 2004, 14:24

Why does it hurt when I pee?

Twilightseer · 17th May 2004, 14:25

Quote:

Originally posted by ElChevelle
Why does it hurt when I pee?

Tip : unjam the zipper.

Bazman63 · 17th May 2004, 14:34

Is there Love after Sex?

. - .... .- -. .... · 17th May 2004, 14:37

Quote:

Originally posted by Bazman63
Is there Love after Sex?

No, so it's not worth trying. Regardless, the only important orgasm is yours. Focus on yourself and forget she is there, just pump until it is done and then zip up and fall asleep.

She has fingers doesn't she?

hgnis · 17th May 2004, 14:37

Quote:

Originally posted by ethan_h
If you are looking to get a girlfriend then you must become more social. Alcohol is a good way to become more social. I can vouch for this 100%. Infact I met pretty much all of my girlfriends by getting (them) drunk.

But that doesn't explain how you avoided the pedophile
charges the morning after.

. - .... .- -. .... · 17th May 2004, 14:40

Quote:

Originally posted by will
I'm not a very nice person on the inside, my last girlfriend clamed I was "totally devoid of empathy", and I couldn't disagree at all.

So, as I also want to have "teh hotsex" what advice would you offer?

rohypnol (flunitrazepam), obviously....

. - .... .- -. .... · 17th May 2004, 14:42

Quote:

Originally posted by hgnis
But that doesn't explain how you avoided the pedophile
charges the morning after.

I have to tell them to grow up faster and get pretty hair.

hgnis · 17th May 2004, 14:46

What do you do then when you want legal non irish punany?

. - .... .- -. .... · 17th May 2004, 14:52

Quote:

Originally posted by hgnis
What do you do then when you want legal non irish punany?

Simple - just grow a pair. Fake confidence has been clinically proven to be 70% as effective as real confidence. Just lay it on extra thick. And if you use both testicles to exude this fake confidence, you'll have 140% of real confidence. Thus, "growing a pair" can be highly effective.

IF she's not interested, and it's high school, then go for it anyways. Her yelling, or even lack of, is not going to matter in 2 or 3 years. Don't spend your time trying to change her, just hunt her down and have fun.

zootm · 17th May 2004, 17:43

Quote:

Originally posted by ethan_h
Simple - just grow a pair. Fake confidence has been clinically proven to be 70% as effective as real confidence. Just lay it on extra thick. And if you use both testicles to exude this fake confidence, you'll have 140% of real confidence. Thus, "growing a pair" can be highly effective.

an irish accent is more effective still...

Jay · 17th May 2004, 17:50

i just open my mouth and become verbal rohypnol. Works like a charm. Less illegal as well.

zootm · 17th May 2004, 18:14

Quote:

Originally posted by KXRM
i just open my mouth and become verbal rohypnol.

Vie · 17th May 2004, 18:18

Why is Skoda with the Post Office and Shell?

fwgx · 17th May 2004, 18:36

My g/f doesn't like the thought of anal sex. What hypnotherapists / hypno therapy books do you recomend so I can change this obvious personality disorder?

Vie · 17th May 2004, 18:55

Go find a position that she prefers, personaly I dont like the Idea of Anal sex...

ElChevelle · 17th May 2004, 19:37

Recently, Germ confessed to me that he was indeed the model for the infamous goatse picture.
Should he see a doctor?

fwgx · 17th May 2004, 20:41

No. But I want my watch back if he's found it!

Bilbo Baggins · 17th May 2004, 20:47

Quote:

Originally posted by Phily Baby
My g/f doesn't like the thought of anal sex. What hypnotherapists / hypno therapy books do you recomend so I can change this obvious personality disorder?

Find a better man.

ShyShy · 17th May 2004, 20:48

Help!!! I can't stop thinking about sex. Seriously

ElChevelle · 17th May 2004, 21:07

Call me, we'll get into further "details"

Bazman63 · 17th May 2004, 22:38

Me too, me too.!

cyu · 17th May 2004, 22:47

It's the internet. Just go to google and type in anything that comes to your mind shyshy.

Bilbo Baggins · 17th May 2004, 22:51

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=any...e+Search&meta=

:O

ShyShy · 17th May 2004, 23:16

Quote:

Originally posted by Bazman63
Me too, me too.!

I just knew you had a crush on Chev!

ElChevelle · 17th May 2004, 23:25

Who doesn't?

Raz · 17th May 2004, 23:35

We have our own support group. We meet on fridays, drink tea and talk about how it was telling our parents we aren't down with the chev. Then we hug, and leave. Just try and take it day by day...

*sigh*

ElChevelle · 18th May 2004, 00:33

You know how hard it is to afford flowers for all my lovers/prospective lovers?

k_rock923 · 18th May 2004, 00:52

well the way i see it, nothing can beat the classic idea of chivalry. people, it still works. treat your girl like a princess and you'll be rewarded. if you're looking for a girl, i can help with that too. i've been dating my g/f since 8th grade and im in 11th now. i think that makes me somewhat qualified to help.

ElChevelle · 18th May 2004, 01:00

The problem is that there seems to be more girls out there that like the "bad boys".......no matter how many times they get bitchslapped. Other than that, chivalry has gotten me some of the greatest loves in the world.

ShyShy · 18th May 2004, 01:01

In real life, my hunni is very sweet

cyu · 18th May 2004, 01:01

Actually if you treat your girl like a princess, you will become her bitch. Trust me.

ElChevelle · 18th May 2004, 01:07

Quote:

Originally posted by ShyShy
In real life, my hunni is very sweet

Thanks Boogers

17th May 2004, 14:04	#1
. - .... .- -. .... Backpacking Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: საქართველო (Georgia) Posts: 10,104	Love, Sex, and Relationships? We'll answer your questions Since the dawn of these fine forums, winamp forummers have had problems in these three areas. Twilightseer and I are going to solve some of those problems today. We'll take any and all questions, and answer them to the best of our knowledge. Now, you might say "But ethan, what kind of qualifications do you guys have?" For one, I have listened to a ton of emo music, and a lot of talk radio. I can dispense advice like no other. I also owns an acoustic guitar, people. That has to count for something, right? Twilightseer, on the other hand, has real life experience. HE has been able to successfully date a real girl, for many years now. He is particulary knowledgable on the subject of STDs and how to avoid getting them. He's also uhhh, well, let's not focus on his qualifications. He can help, though! Note that we are probably wrong 99.9% of the time, and that its not strictly us who has to answer the questions, but we are just the first one who will devote time to it. Also note there is no need to hate or or flame. if someone disagrees with our qualifcation they can just not post. Ask away! Like my photography? Buy some here....

17th May 2004, 14:22	#7
will Nullsoft Newbie (Moderator) Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Sheffield, England Posts: 5,569	I'm not a very nice person on the inside, my last girlfriend clamed I was "totally devoid of empathy", and I couldn't disagree at all. So, as I also want to have "teh hotsex" what advice would you offer? DO NOT PM ME WITH TECH SUPPORT QUESTIONS

17th May 2004, 14:34	#11
Bazman63 Major Dude Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: West London Posts: 868	Is there Love after Sex? 'In this country, it takes all the running you can do to stay in one place.'"

17th May 2004, 14:46	#16
hgnis Hobbit Humper Forum King Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: banned camp Posts: 4,127	What do you do then when you want legal non irish punany? I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick. Reality bites <3

17th May 2004, 17:50	#19
Jay Moderator Alumni Join Date: May 2000 Location: Next Door Posts: 8,942	i just open my mouth and become verbal rohypnol. Works like a charm. Less illegal as well. -Jay \| Radio Toolbox.com

17th May 2004, 14:10	#2
Twilightseer Frenchoderator Join Date: May 2000 Location: Lavabo, fond du couloir, 3è porte à droite Posts: 6,309	Exactly ! It's high time some started dealing with this sensitive subject. I may not always respond to all demands, due to my wedding preparatives (I'm the living proof you can have enough time to develop a long-term relationship AND indugle in writing drivel on the Internet) but ethan_h and myself will do our best. Remember : no question can scare us. On the other hand, our answers will probably scare you (but that's a different issue). /me waits for questions.

17th May 2004, 14:13	#3
zootm Forum King Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: the nether reaches of bonnie scotland Posts: 13,375	OMG LOLZ HOW CAN I HAVE TEH HOTSEX?!?!?!?!?! ROFL

17th May 2004, 14:15	#4
mark Forum King Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Norn Ir'nd, leek... Posts: 6,287	cn yuo gt prgnt frm mastrb8n? lolzorz

17th May 2004, 14:23	#8
zootm Forum King Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: the nether reaches of bonnie scotland Posts: 13,375	right, cheers. i can't think of a serious question right now, so i'll just silence meself

17th May 2004, 14:24	#9
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	Why does it hurt when I pee?

17th May 2004, 18:18	#21
Vie Forum King Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Thoron fields and Duranium shadows. Posts: Crap mostly Posts: 8,003	Why is Skoda with the Post Office and Shell? Member most in need of SpellCheck Lifetime Achievement Award I'm a Twitch Streamer these days, it's weird.

17th May 2004, 18:36	#22
fwgx Rudolf the Red. (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2000 Posts: 9,314	My g/f doesn't like the thought of anal sex. What hypnotherapists / hypno therapy books do you recomend so I can change this obvious personality disorder? "We think science is interesting and if you disagree, you can fuck off."

17th May 2004, 18:55	#23
Vie Forum King Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Thoron fields and Duranium shadows. Posts: Crap mostly Posts: 8,003	Go find a position that she prefers, personaly I dont like the Idea of Anal sex... Member most in need of SpellCheck Lifetime Achievement Award I'm a Twitch Streamer these days, it's weird.

17th May 2004, 19:37	#24
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	Recently, Germ confessed to me that he was indeed the model for the infamous goatse picture. Should he see a doctor?

17th May 2004, 20:41	#25
fwgx Rudolf the Red. (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2000 Posts: 9,314	No. But I want my watch back if he's found it! "We think science is interesting and if you disagree, you can fuck off."

17th May 2004, 20:48	#27
ShyShy Amazon Bush Woman Forum Queen Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Sticks, Queensland Posts: 8,066	Help!!! I can't stop thinking about sex. Seriously

17th May 2004, 21:07	#28
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	Call me, we'll get into further "details"

17th May 2004, 22:38	#29
Bazman63 Major Dude Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: West London Posts: 868	Me too, me too.! 'In this country, it takes all the running you can do to stay in one place.'"

17th May 2004, 22:47	#30
cyu Major Dude Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: in front of my pc Posts: 1,617	It's the internet. Just go to google and type in anything that comes to your mind shyshy.

17th May 2004, 22:51	#31
Bilbo Baggins Wind Chime of the Apocalypse Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Forest Posts: 17,228	http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=any...e+Search&meta= :O

17th May 2004, 23:25	#33
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	Who doesn't?

17th May 2004, 23:35	#34
Raz Forum King Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Manchester Posts: 6,470	We have our own support group. We meet on fridays, drink tea and talk about how it was telling our parents we aren't down with the chev. Then we hug, and leave. Just try and take it day by day... sigh

18th May 2004, 00:33	#35
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	You know how hard it is to afford flowers for all my lovers/prospective lovers?

18th May 2004, 00:52	#36
k_rock923 \m/ (Forum King) Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: /bin/bash Posts: 7,850	well the way i see it, nothing can beat the classic idea of chivalry. people, it still works. treat your girl like a princess and you'll be rewarded. if you're looking for a girl, i can help with that too. i've been dating my g/f since 8th grade and im in 11th now. i think that makes me somewhat qualified to help. Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.

18th May 2004, 01:00	#37
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,448	The problem is that there seems to be more girls out there that like the "bad boys".......no matter how many times they get bitchslapped. Other than that, chivalry has gotten me some of the greatest loves in the world.

18th May 2004, 01:01	#38
ShyShy Amazon Bush Woman Forum Queen Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Sticks, Queensland Posts: 8,066	In real life, my hunni is very sweet

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