Old 16th September 2012, 03:57   #1
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This bitch right here.

Met this girl and we've been chatting here and there. She eventually tells me that she just wants to be "friends", so I go along with it cause I could use some more friends in my life. Then this text conversation happens. Do you think I was too harsh on her?:

Quote:
Me: My friend's band is playing at Club Red this Sunday at 6, you in?

Her: Sorry, I've got too much homework this weekend, maybe some other time?

M: Aww, I needed a good wingman. Some other time then?

H: Wingman? Please...

M: Hey you were the one who said you wanted to be friends. That's what friends do, hook each other up!

H: Yeah I guess so... Didn't know you'd be trying to make me jealous in front of my face.

M: You're joking, right? Do you like me or not? You can't say you want to be friends then get jealous when I hit on other women. It doesn't work like that.

H: I'm just messin wit you... Chill dude.

M: No you're not. Stop trying to lampshade your insecurities by saying you're "just messin'" when I call you out on it. I'm smarter than that.

H: Ok I'll admit I'd prolly be a little jealous. But I'm dating someone so I really don't care (note: she's not). I don't have any say in what you do so it doesn't matter.

M: Yeah, alright sure. Whatever you say.
Why do I always attract the crazy ones?

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Old 16th September 2012, 05:04   #2
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I'd be afraid of that one...

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Old 16th September 2012, 09:53   #3
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Sounds like you're being a dick.

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Old 16th September 2012, 11:51   #4
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women = your argument is invalid
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Old 16th September 2012, 14:14   #5
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Psythik, I mean this in the nicest possible way: You are kind of a dick, as ethan pointed out. You can't say what you said and expect her to react positively.

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Old 16th September 2012, 15:23   #6
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I guess I am. I'm going to apologize to her today.

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Old 16th September 2012, 15:57   #7
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Use guys as wingmen. Too complicated otherwise.

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Old 16th September 2012, 15:58   #8
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Neither of you should ever breed

"Just friends" ... what a load.... Just Friends means I'd like you to entertain me if I feel like it... until I find someone else when I'll tell you we're not friends anymore. I'll call you up and screw with you once in a while if I feel like it.... or if I need a friend.

The last time a woman told me that, I told her.... "Sorry.. you don't qualify to be my friend.. my friends are honest people......."

I've been on both sides of this. A guy ought to have better things to do with his time.

Sorry about your girlfriend. Lose her number. Don't apologize. That makes you look even more like an idiot.

Quote:
Use guys as wingmen.
My sister works pretty good too.

Break relationships clean. You can spend years or months getting played with or playing. Life is too short.

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Old 16th September 2012, 18:07   #9
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My sister works pretty good too.
Yeah, that's something I should have thought about when I typed my post, and I'm glad you added that. There needs to be a family exemption to the guys-only rule.

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Old 16th September 2012, 18:40   #10
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Use guys as wingmen. Too complicated otherwise.
Nonsense, I've been set up by female wingmen a damd sight more than I have by guys! Y'all living in fantasy land if you think a guy is the best man for the job, any fella would make sure he has the pick of the bunch for himself and hook you up with what's left.

Women on the other hand don't have their own interests at heart and usually hook you up with cute ones, unless they fancy a bit for themselves ( not unusual! )

Trust me, your better with a female wingman any day of the week!
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Old 16th September 2012, 20:46   #11
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Sometimes the married women of your friends can be a good deal too. But no. You can't use an ex-girlfriend...
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Old 16th September 2012, 21:01   #12
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Quote:
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Sometimes the married women of your friends...
I think that's something that could get a little complicated based on the gal you're picking up's reaction, but if it works for you, I really can't argue.

@ Mr. Jones - Everyone has to write their own rules, so I can respect your difference here, but last few times I tried what you suggest (while I was single of course), we ended up not picking someone else up and instead woke up the next morning together, which was quite awkward and complicated. I temporarily messed up a couple very strong friendships doing that exact thing. You and the wingwoman see each other showing their best sides, and suddenly start liking what you see...

You mention the competition aspect of having a wingMAN, which is a legitimate concern. But, you just have to be on your game enough to win, or pick someone that isn't currently shopping, or take the easy way out and pick someone that's very likely to be the less desirable or very different choice in the eye of the gal you're trying to pick up.

Perhaps avoiding a sidekick is the best way to go; that's how it ended up working for me.

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Old 16th September 2012, 22:21   #13
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Quote:
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Neither of you should ever breed

"Just friends" ... what a load.... Just Friends means I'd like you to entertain me if I feel like it... until I find someone else when I'll tell you we're not friends anymore. I'll call you up and screw with you once in a while if I feel like it.... or if I need a friend.

Reminds me of Chris Rock on "platonic friends":


Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
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Old 16th September 2012, 22:48   #14
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Actually, wives of my friends usually aren't technically a wingman. They usually try to fix me up more than I really wanted them to.
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Old 16th September 2012, 23:43   #15
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Yeah, that's the other thing. some people don't believe that it's possible for people to be both single and happy. I know of a few who are both. I also know people who are single and looking but aren't willing to settle for something that isn't good for them, which is also pretty good if you ask me.

love Chris Rock lol

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Old 17th September 2012, 05:19   #16
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I'm done. I have no interest at all in trying to tame another shrew. Shakespeare's Kate didn't go to women's studies classes and wasn't programmed to think men are the enemy. Kate was just a normal, happy pain in the ass. Kate didn't blame her woes on men. Kate didn't think men were the enemy. Kate could apologize. Kate owned her own bullshit. She was just a bitch. And because Kate did own her own bullshit, she could forgive herself. I could live with that.

So I give you my 2012 version of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew in one word:

Later

Last edited by rockouthippie; 17th September 2012 at 08:13.
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Old 17th September 2012, 13:51   #17
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Old 17th September 2012, 21:21   #18
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Saw the change. I'm sorry if I struck too much of a nerve. Honest.

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Old 18th September 2012, 00:09   #19
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I think I'm just getting old and cranky.
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Old 18th September 2012, 00:44   #20
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Roll up a fattie and everything will be okay.

Anyway, I felt really bad for being a dick so I apologized to her against your advice & 'sall good, man. I ended up asking a more secure girl out and couldn't be happier! This will be my first date since high school. I'm getting butterflies.

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Old 18th September 2012, 01:02   #21
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Make sure you play the field a little then. Most of my women have been really winners I should have measured twice and sawed once

Weed? I dunno. I'm not that impressed with the modern cush. If I could go back to the 70's and get some Panama Red, I could probably go for that. It was a different high and it wasn't as potent. It's not really social to smoke the one hit wonder bud. It's sort of hit or miss as to whether that would make me feel better or worse. Cush sometimes makes me kinda edgy. Booze is even something I usually avoid these days.

Drug of choice: Ibuprofen.
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Old 18th September 2012, 02:56   #22
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Yeah. Had I gone for the first few options I had, I'd be miserable today. Not only were they not right for me, but I didn't even know what was right for me at first.

I just figured an energetic hottie was all I needed, but it was more for impressing everyone else rather than what I really wanted and needed. That worked for a while. Lots of ego during social events and excitement afterwards, but aggravation on the phone and when trying to tolerate each other any other time. It was ok when I was far too busy to even consider "quality time" with anyone or anything outside of school, work, or sleep. But, getting older and seeing a bigger picture changed everything. You start looking for someone you can 100% live with, not someone you can 5% boast about.

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Old 18th September 2012, 03:50   #23
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Weed? I dunno. I'm not that impressed with the modern cush. If I could go back to the 70's and get some Panama Red, I could probably go for that. It was a different high and it wasn't as potent. It's not really social to smoke the one hit wonder bud. It's sort of hit or miss as to whether that would make me feel better or worse. Cush sometimes makes me kinda edgy. Booze is even something I usually avoid these days.
Yeah the modern stuff can be a bit intimidating to an oldschool hippie such as yourself. Over where you live you probably won't find anything other than medical grade. I'm closer to Mexico so we have a much larger selection. The mid-grade stuff we have is about $30/half ounce (compared to $20/gram for medical grade) and I've heard it smokes not unlike 70s bud. Definitely two different highs between the different grades, for sure. I didn't like the high-grade at first either but you get used to it once tolerance kicks in.

Regardless, I've taken a break from all the stuff; I'm not as big of a stoner as I used to be back in '09-10, when I was literally getting high all day every day. I don't eat or sleep as well anymore but my overall energy level has gone up.

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I just figured an energetic hottie was all I needed, but it was more for impressing everyone else rather than what I really wanted and needed. That worked for a while. Lots of ego during social events and excitement afterwards, but aggravation on the phone and when trying to tolerate each other any other time. It was ok when I was far too busy to even consider "quality time" with anyone or anything outside of school, work, or sleep. But, getting older and seeing a bigger picture changed everything. You start looking for someone you can 100% live with, not someone you can 5% boast about.
Well I've never been big on the hotties. I'm attracted to the kind of women my shallow friends wouldn't give a second glance to. Give me a cute, average-looking girl any day over a supermodel. I've always been into the artsy, somewhat strange girls; their quirks are a massive turn-on for me.

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Old 18th September 2012, 03:57   #24
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cute
Gets me every time. I have other priorities too, but that is a major turn-on for me.

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Old 18th September 2012, 04:48   #25
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I wouldn't call it intimidating, just not relaxing. It's not a matter of grade. PR was plenty strong, but it was mellow. I like to sleep. Sens keeps me awake. We get the Mexican stuff around here and in the same price range too. It usually tastes like shit.

With booze. At 50, I just don't think my liver likes me any more. If I drink a little it just kinda makes me sick. If I drink a lot, I'll be hungover for 3 days.

I think you get to where you really consider what you wanted to be taking or drinking. I smoked quite a bit of weed in my life, but I don't know if I enjoyed it. Booze is just kinda mostly off the table because the side effects are so nasty. I'm not sure I really enjoyed that so much either. You drink because people around you are? Straight is pretty good. Really, looking at it, the best times I've had is when I was sober.

I need a new drug... one that does what it should...

2 ibuprofen and a cup of chamomile tea is about as good as I'm gonna do tonight. I just got back from my bicycle "loop" a nice square of smooth level road .. 4 miles.. Hauled ass. Burned off some piss and cigarettes. I should sleep.
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Old 18th September 2012, 06:33   #26
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Good song by the way.

Never tried marijuana, but I still like craft beer during the summer. I hope I never lose my taste for it, because, damn, it's delicious, although on the other hand, I hope I never let alcohol cause me to make bad decisions.

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Old 18th September 2012, 10:53   #27
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Use guys as wingmen. Too complicated otherwise.
Yep!
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Old 18th September 2012, 16:25   #28
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I wouldn't call it intimidating, just not relaxing. It's not a matter of grade. PR was plenty strong, but it was mellow. I like to sleep. Sens keeps me awake.
That's strange. Usually after a bowl I'm out like a dead lightbulb. Sounds like you've only been trying the sativas. Look into a good cannabis indica; if that stuff doesn't knock you out nothing will.

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Old 18th September 2012, 22:34   #29
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Quote:
Look into a good cannabis indica
That stuff came from SE Asia when you could find it. I think some of the Canadian strains are hybrids. You can tell because of the broad leaves. I'm old, not dead. Class of 1980. Meth wasn't big yet. No crack. More weed choices than you have. There was some heroin around. Lot's of cocaine.

They didn't call crank, crank. They called it crystal meth, but only real walking felonies did it. It was kinda not socially acceptable. Cocaine was big. You could get *******eutical speed really easy. Most people didn't consider it recreational. I didn't. It was for when you work all day and study all night. It wasn't near as strong as meth and you'd come down easy in 4 hours unlike grinding your teeth off for 24 hours with the bathtub shit. I did that shit one and I do mean one time. No freaking thanks. I'd like to sleep some day. That stuff is bad. I've seen people get strung out in a week. There was lots of acid. Did that once at a Dead concert and decided I liked it too much to ever try it again.

You kids really have no idea. Crime was bad. Enter Ronald Reagan and red dress Nancy. They put a BOOT on the crime problem. You could (and did) get 20 years for a gram of heroin and 10 years for a gram of coke. All that SE Asian weed, Hawaiian, SA etc... imports.... were no more. No more *******eutical beans. I think that's where meth started getting popular and I don't think it was a good trade. Snortable cocaine was replaced by crank, also not a good trade. It used to be that if you wanted to smoke coke you have to freebase. Remember Richard Pryor burning up the bed?

Oddly enough, a nose earring was usually to hide a hole you burned in your nose from doing coke. Look around. Some of the women my age completely burned out their septum. Their nose kinda looks flat because it doesn't have much cartilage left.

If you drove in Washington DC in 1980, if I little old lady pushed a shopping cart out in front of your car, you ran her down. You did not stop for a stop sign. If you stopped, a dozen gang members would jump out and strip your car down to the wheels and leave you sitting on what was left of the frame. They were good. It usually took less that 5 minutes. And there were places police wouldn't respond at all. Don't take the wrong off ramp.

Around here it was pretty bad too. Gangs of migrant workers would jump you for your wallet and smokes if you weren't paying attention. Knowing how to fight well enough so you could run away was essential.

Before Reagan, pot was a $50 fine in Oregon, so the cops would usually just take the weed, let you go and smoke it themselves.

A lot of changes in 30 years for better or worse.

I remember one time. I was over at this bikers house working on my 750. A big bang on the door. 1-7 foot tall cop. The bikers name was Highway Bob.

Bob - We know you've been selling weed. We know you aren't selling any to kids or we wouldn't be having this talk. Quit selling weed or we're gonna have to come back and we won't be in a good mood. Have a nice day Bob!

These days they would have sent a swat team.

What was really kind of messed up is that before Reagan your pot usually came from some guy with a greenhouse that lived down the road. The cops didn't really care about 1 greenhouse. The new drug laws scared that guy off big time. That left a market the Mexican gangs filled. The gay guy and his greenhouse got replaced by gang members.

Perhaps not the best trade. We did coke. You do crack. We did prescription speed. You do crank. We did acid. You guys are more into M and ecstasy. It seems like what is available on the street is more dangerous than the stuff we were using.

Meh... well.. at least you can drive past the Whitehouse without getting your car stripped and you can stop for a stop sign. I can walk around here and not get jumped.
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Old 20th September 2012, 01:02   #30
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I love hearing these stories about back in the day. Makes me wish I was alive to see it.

Meth is definitely a problem but personally I've never seen the stuff. Acid is almost unheard of. Haven't seen crack either. Weed is everywhere, especially thanks to our new medical marijuana law. Ecstasy and shrooms are pretty damn popular as well. Coke sits in fourth place. Other than E, I don't see the big deal about these other drugs. I've tried them all and E was the only one that actually made me go back for a second helping. It's fun to roll on New Year's eve but I couldn't ever see myself doing it once a week like some people I know.

Healthy, moderate drug use can be good for your spirit & state-of-mind as long as you don't have an addictive personality. Luckily I don't. But then I've seen others have their lives completely ruined by them. It all depends on the individual and the strength of their will power.

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Old 20th September 2012, 16:14   #31
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I never could see taking shrooms. That's an alkaloid poison. You might as well just take strychnine. And then they'res the dosage problem. 2 shrooms right next to each other might have vastly different potency.

An OD sure isn't pretty. Funny.... seems to look about like what happens when you get strychnine contaminated blotter acid.... Pale, shakes.. sweats... shocky... yeah give me some of that shit

I never could figure out heroin either. You'd think when you saw someone drowning in their own puke it would be a turn off.
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Old 21st September 2012, 08:23   #32
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LOL, yes!
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Old 21st September 2012, 19:09   #33
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Ah I've missed de-railed threads.... Well I've never touched drugs in my life... was going to pop by with suggestions on 'friends' but seems like I've missed that window and Psythik has a lady to date, everyone wins

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Old 22nd September 2012, 02:05   #34
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Haha yeah, you totally missed the party.

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Old 22nd September 2012, 20:45   #35
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What hurts is how people look at me like I'm some kinda loser when I have to leave a party that turns to getting high. When I used to go out with friends a lot, this had to happen quite often. I'm not one to tell a fellow adult what they should and shouldn't do to their own bodies (especially if they know and understand what they're doing). I've just always been paranoid that I'd somehow get busted for being at the place while it was happening. Being busted actually isn't that bad if it's a first offense, except that I'm a school employee, and I'd lose my job instantly and likely my ability to get another school job.

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Old 24th September 2012, 12:56   #36
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So I got back from my date last night. It was... not what I expected to say the least. What would cause a girl who is seemingly in love with you over the phone ("I don't want to lose you", "I love how you make me laugh", "I'm so nervous I won't be able to impress you", smiley face in every text, etc.) to go completely platonic on the date from the start & reject all my advances? (her body language totally said "let's just be friends".) It's not like I'm a hideous chud, or I didn't shower, or had bad breath or something like that. It was odd to say the least.

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Old 25th September 2012, 04:10   #37
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^that happened to me once when I was in college. Instead of putting me on hold when she had to take care of something, a friend-gal from another college put me on the phone with her room mate, we connected, and then started calling each other a lot and AIM'ing. Things built pretty strong from there, but when I finally met her, it turned out to be exactly what you just typed. Like you, I had kept myself very presentable - washed behind my ears and used napkins instead of licking the barbecue sauce off my fingers, etc. I felt like a complete loser.

That's one of the problems with technology, and by that I even include the telephone. I suppose even mailed letters could do it too. The gal just pictures a man that looks as good or better than those in those chick flicks and then fantasizes something that is anything but realistic. It's like she's writing her own romance novel in her head while on the phone, or texting, or messaging, etc. to the point where no real man could measure up to the expectations. I'm sure that some guys do it too, so it's not necessarily a gal thing, although in your situation and in mine, it was.

Some things just need to be built face-to-face I guess. That keeps things real while allowing a lot of non-verbal communication too.

The big thing that needs to be said though, is that this particular gal, if after seeing you in person is really pushing you all the way out to "pluto" (to a state of platonic friends) after communicating that she was otherwise falling for you... she's shallow. The only way I'd back down from that accusation is if she were having a bad evening due to extenuating circumstances, or if you were reading her wrong from the start, something I doubt considering your quotes.

Well shit... before submitting this post, I found an old logged AIM conversation (I used DeadAIM to get rid of ads and to add features like message logging) and have always transferred everything from computer to computer. Here are some highlights separated by semicolons( ; ). You tell me if she was just being platonic:

remember you owe me a dance; i think your one of the best guys i know ted; thats ok, thats what i like about you, your honest; ted you are such a good guy and friend, who else would listen to me complain so much :-), [she wanted to help me celebrate the end of finals week] Im going to do something for you, i dont know, just something amazing, cause thats what you deserve; yeah I thought you looked good and its what is inside and you have just about every guy beat on that; you dont know how much that means; your opinion means a lot and i trust it, and thats not something i can easily do; now your going to make me cry :-); no its okay, cause your not causing sad tears; ah ted, thank you; see we're like medicine for each other :-)...im going to get your [Christmas] gift tomorrow, i was gonna get kristen’s but im not in the mood now; i cant wait till she [Sarah McLachlan] goes back on tour, you and me are going; i think i'll sleep much better thanks to you :-); your stuck with me now; nite ted, thanks again, a million

Well, the next time I saw her it was complete buzzkill for her for some unknown reason despite my presenting myself well. At least I never had to go to that Sarah McLachlan concert, not that it would have been all bad. Luckily I've since found someone better for me anyway, but it hurt like a bitch when she completely changed on me like that.

I totally get what you're saying, and I hope you recover well.

Oy. Now I've opened a whole can of worms, or Pandora's Box, or whatever, looking through these old logged messenger conversations. I'm reading shit that I haven't read in over a decade. It's going to be a long night.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 25th September 2012, 06:45   #38
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A whole box full of Pandora's worms, perhaps.

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Old 26th September 2012, 03:02   #39
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Yeah I'll get over it. It's just frustrating making all this progress only for it to be all for moot. I have my asshole moments but I try to be a good person. It's just that meeting woman is so damn difficult for me especially since I'm so inexperienced. I don't want to end up being the unmarried 30-something guy, and at the rate I'm going that'll be happening faster than I know it.

Ironically, the dating advice I give to friends is solid; I've saved a relationship or two but can't seem to find my own.

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Old 26th September 2012, 03:21   #40
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What hurts is how people look at me like I'm some kinda loser when I have to leave a party that turns to getting high.
You probably had something better to do than listen to Donald Sutherland explain the meaning of existential existence anyway. You probably don't have to leave, but sitting around with a bunch of stoners usually doesn't hold much appeal. Even if you are stoned

Weed? Weed is relative nothing as far as drugs go. Booze is the killer. I really find it weird that they think weed is strong enough to be much use for pain.

If everybody quit drinking, we could probably tear down the county jail. I'll bet half the guys down there right now are there for drunk and stupid. If people quit smoking weed, X-box sales might plummet..... Taco Bell might be seriously hurt.... The Moody Blues might never get played again.....
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