Old 16th September 2004, 23:15   #1
MStar
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Pillow Talk

A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation ...

(She is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye."

She hangs up the telephone, and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh," she replies," that was my husband telling me all about the
wonderful time he's having with you on his fishing trip."

---

A man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the husband out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the wife to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While the man is in bathroom, the husband tells his wife..."Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He has probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist. Don't complain. Do what he tells you. Just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds..."He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."


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Old 16th September 2004, 23:31   #2
cyu
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LMAO @ the second one.
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Old 16th September 2004, 23:34   #3
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Those are just wrong.
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Old 16th September 2004, 23:37   #4
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And yet so right....
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Old 16th September 2004, 23:43   #5
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Oh My GOD (I had to write it all)
This is making me laugh, I haven't been laughing for days ....
THanks !

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Old 17th September 2004, 00:09   #6
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ROTFLMAO!

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Old 17th September 2004, 00:29   #7
squakMix
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Re: Pillow Talk

Quote:
Originally posted by MStar


Ah, the second one is pretty hilarious. Actually brought a smile to my face . Did you write these, or just get them from somewhere?
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Old 17th September 2004, 00:31   #8
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Quite funny.
I've heard the first one before.
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Old 17th September 2004, 02:20   #9
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LOL

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Old 17th September 2004, 10:00   #10
Vie
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Hum, Vaseline should never be used as a Lube...

..HOW DO I KNOW THEASE THINGS?!?!?

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Old 17th September 2004, 10:55   #11
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Read them both before but still funny

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Old 17th September 2004, 11:18   #12
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lol

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Old 17th September 2004, 11:18   #13
Jochen
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vie
Hum, Vaseline should never be used as a Lube...

..HOW DO I KNOW THEASE THINGS?!?!?
... only if you wear a condom at the same time.

OMG... why do I know this now you might think ...

been there, done that ... so f**** what!
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Old 17th September 2004, 11:40   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vie
Hum, Vaseline should never be used as a Lube...

..HOW DO I KNOW THEASE THINGS?!?!?
Andrew? Or you're smart!

Not my thing, but hey...
Second joke was very funny!
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Old 17th September 2004, 23:14   #15
OutlawJim
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LOL loved the second one


Nobby:I have ADD.... Germ:No shit, Nobby? Nobody would have ever guessed.
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