Old 23rd November 2006, 18:59   #1
ScorLibran
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How many times have you been cut?

...cut by a surgeon, that is.

(I also posted this over at Pab's, but since there are some older folks like me here who may have had some surgeries but who aren't members over there...)

In late 1995 I had a herniated disc in my lower back (L5/S1), so in January of the next year I had a microdiscectomy (a surgical procedure in which they make a small incision and remove a small amount of disc tissue). It left a 1/2-inch vertical scar on my lower back.

And this past Friday (11/17) I had a discectomy (a surgical procedure in which they make a large incision and remove a large amount of disc tissue). I now have a 2-inch diagonal scar on the front of my neck.

They went in through that incision, pushed aside the esophagus, trachea, and muscle tissue, cut away disc tissue from between cervical vertebrae C5, C6 and C7, and did a level-2 fusion with a section of cadaver bone. I had to pay extra for the cadaver bone - I was told they had to dig up 17 graves before finding a corpse with the same blood type as mine.

The actual name of the procedure as written on the paperwork is "discectomy, C5/C6/C7, w/ level-2 fusion & anterior titanium plating".

In case you've never had any of your bones welded together (whether or not it involved a dead person's bones), a "level-2 fusion" is a surgical procedure in which they weld three of your bones together (two fusion points) - and possibly with a dead person's bones. In my case, they welded a piece of a generous - although dead - person's bone to three of my vertebrae. I guess it would have been too weird if they welded a piece of a generous living person's bone to my vertebrae. Although finding that person would have been easier. I'd just walk around the hospital until I see someone missing two inches of a finger. "Hey, thanks!"

Speaking of which, I failed to ask what part of the cadaver's skeletal structure was used. A rib? A finger? A pelvis? I'll call my neurosurgeon on Monday and ask him. Now I'm curious. Or maybe I don't really want to know.

Then they bolted a section of titanium plating to the front of my vertebrae. Now, the neurosurgeon told me that the titanium plating will not set off airport metal detectors. It's not that I don't trust him, but rather than take the chance of standing in a security line for two hours just to have the alarm go off and then have three TSA rent-a-cops stand on my head because I can't generate an official document of medical explanation, I'm going to either Google it or buy my own metal detector and try walking through it. I'll check out which is the cheaper option tomorrow.

And finally, I was sent home with a stack of prescriptions, which included five-dozen Dilaudid. If you've never had an encounter with lovely Dilaudid - what the fuck, you wouldn't remember if you did or not. WOOHOO!

In case you're wondering why I had all this done, it an was elective surgery. I read about it, and was very curious. OK, not really. I had two herniated discs between my three lowest cervical vertebrae, which were pinching off the nerves that went from my spinal cord to my left arm.

So, tell us about any surgeries YOU'VE had. Especially if they involve scars that resemble murder attempts, bolting chunks of metal into your body, or becoming integrated with cadaver bones. Or Dilaudid. WOOHOO!
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Old 23rd November 2006, 19:29   #2
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Circumcision.

Age 7.

They gave me the pain medication too late for it to take effect before I woke up.

FUCKING BRILLO




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Old 23rd November 2006, 19:36   #3
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<from top down...>
Fractured Skull
Burst artery in head
Broken nose twice
Fractured eye socket
Broken teeth
Dislocated shoulders
Dislocated hip
Dislocated elbow
Broken arm
Broken left wrist three times
Broken right wrist twice
Broke two fingers, and metacarpals
Broke all ribs on right side, three on left
appendix removed
Tore ligaments in right leg
busted hip - metal pins
busted knee - more metal pins
broken toes
broken leg various times

So currently I have a plate and pins in my wrist, two pins through my hip, a rod down through my femur, plates on tib and fib, pins in my knee and ankle, and a few other pins besides. For the most part I don't have any problems at the airport, though I do carry scans of my x-rays, and I have a card stating that I have implants. Generally metal detectors at the airports have the sensitivity turned down to avoid flase positives such as this.

Number of times under the knife - seven, at last count.

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Old 23rd November 2006, 19:43   #4
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Hurnia op. when I was about 10/11ish.
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Old 23rd November 2006, 19:48   #5
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ermmm never

Jesus loves you [yes, you] so much, he even died for you so that you will not need to die, but live forever
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Old 23rd November 2006, 20:58   #6
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Lesseee

Had my Tonsils out when I was little.
Had a broken left wrist when I was about 11
Had a broken thumb.
Got run over( or more acurately got taken up by a car into his windshield and my head went through the windshield and then tossed about thiry feet, where I landed face down all over Northern Blvd. LI) I had a broken left wrist; my right leg looked like a prezel from being smacked. It had a torn anterior cruciate ligament or( acl) The Menicus both lateral and Medial were completely torn and out of six, four were shot! I had a torn Styloid of the wrist(it allows one to rotate the wrist) I had an Ulnae Nerve Transposition. Palm Tendon scaring(scraped) and wore a leg braces of different types for almost five years. My nose was broke..but clean.(I have a very good nose) I had all my toenails ripped off on one foot and three on the other...

What?
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Old 23rd November 2006, 22:40   #7
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Not once.

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Old 23rd November 2006, 23:12   #8
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my wife does that shit scor ... don't envy you. By the way, Titanium will not set off metal detectors. See, its not magnetic, its electrons can not be rearranged in to up/down manner to make it magnetic; titanium is too rigid, atomically. Thus, it is used for things like spine surgery. I got shit loads of titanium petical screws that just site there. I wanna magnetize them with a god damed car battery and do something cool with them, but I can't do it.

By the way, they did not dig up dead people for your fused bone... They took it from a cadaver (body donated in the name of "medical science") in the hospital ... then they autoclaved it at 121C .... so that bone was so sterile you could eat a steak off it after they were done and it would be more clean than one of the plates in your kitchen

Anyway, no one as ever put a knife to me besides, well, the circ....
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Old 24th November 2006, 01:32   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Widdykats
Lesseee

Had my Tonsils out when I was little.
Had a broken left wrist when I was about 11
Had a broken thumb.
Got run over( or more acurately got taken up by a car into his windshield and my head went through the windshield and then tossed about thiry feet, where I landed face down all over Northern Blvd. LI) I had a broken left wrist; my right leg looked like a prezel from being smacked. It had a torn anterior cruciate ligament or( acl) The Menicus both lateral and Medial were completely torn and out of six, four were shot! I had a torn Styloid of the wrist(it allows one to rotate the wrist) I had an Ulnae Nerve Transposition. Palm Tendon scaring(scraped) and wore a leg braces of different types for almost five years. My nose was broke..but clean.(I have a very good nose) I had all my toenails ripped off on one foot and three on the other...

What?
You sure we aren't twins, seperated at birth???

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Old 24th November 2006, 01:37   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by fc*uk
Titanium will not set off metal detectors. See, its not magnetic, its electrons can not be rearranged in to up/down manner to make it magnetic; titanium is too rigid, atomically.
Cool. Good to know.

Quote:
Originally posted by fc*uk
By the way, they did not dig up dead people for your fused bone...
I know, I was just kidding. (They gave me some paperwork on receiving tissue from a recently-deceased donor.) Plus, I was flying on pain meds when I originally wrote that post. Full of silliness, I was.




And ethan_h...wow, man, that's a lot of work. I think you're officially classified as a cyborg.

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Old 24th November 2006, 02:37   #11
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Just once. I was six years old. It wasn't pleasant.
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Old 24th November 2006, 05:10   #12
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i have never had any sort of interior surgery. The worst thing I have had done is oral and toe surgery (no, not in the same day)
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Old 24th November 2006, 05:20   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by ethan_h
<from top down...>
Fractured Skull
Burst artery in head
Broken nose twice
Fractured eye socket
Broken teeth
Dislocated shoulders
Dislocated hip
Dislocated elbow
Broken arm
Broken left wrist three times
Broken right wrist twice
Broke two fingers, and metacarpals
Broke all ribs on right side, three on left
appendix removed
Tore ligaments in right leg
busted hip - metal pins
busted knee - more metal pins
broken toes
broken leg various times
Damn, either you are completely reckless or just plain unlucky.
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Old 24th November 2006, 07:23   #14
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I've been "cut" twice. It was in the same surgery. I don't remember the name of what I had to require surgery though. I do know that my neck was swollen quite a bit and I couldn't hear out of my left ear. Now I have a scar on my neck and behind my left ear. I also lost some feeling in the outer part of my left ear as a result of the surgery. I also lost some hearing as well.

Before the surgery I had dangerously high temperatures >105. The thermometer once said 107. As a result of the high temps I had hallucinations. After the temp spike it would drop to below 96 and I would shake uncontrollably for about 30 minutes.

There is no sig.
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Old 24th November 2006, 07:56   #15
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when I first read the thread title, the first thing I thought of was:


Jesus loves you [yes, you] so much, he even died for you so that you will not need to die, but live forever
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Old 24th November 2006, 08:24   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Omega X
Damn, either you are completely reckless or just plain unlucky.
Primarily reckless (I think I've gotten a bit more careful in recent years), with a dash of unlucky thrown in for good measure.

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Old 24th November 2006, 08:58   #17
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I got a friend like you Ethan. Back in the day, he always ended up in the hospital. I'd smash a dirt bike into pieces and walk away, he'd end up in the hospital nearly every summer.

I think that unlucky doesn't go away. He's 42 now, and last year he clipped the tailgate of his truck while riding an ATV. Broke all his ribs, busted his jaw, knocked some teeth out....

Brian has been folded, spindled, ran over by a semi..... He survives, but he is a hazard to only himself.

I did the same stuff and never got hurt enough to need a hospital. Bad road rash, busted ribs.... I have always walked away.... Not to say, I haven't got really banged up and worn a rib belt for a month ..... here and there ....

When stuff like that happens it tells you something... If I were Brian, I probably wouldn't even drive a car!. It's like Kennedys should not drive or fly airplanes.

Other guys can get away with this stuff, you and Brian need to watch it.

So like no hang-gliding okay?. I'll let ya know how it was

As far as the subject of the post, I've had some stitches for this and that. Busted my nose a few times and have cracked a couple of fingers.... busted ribs... nothing that needed a doc...

Last edited by rockouthippie; 24th November 2006 at 09:29.
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Old 24th November 2006, 09:28   #18
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Yeah, but in my defence, the cause of some of that was a car crash, a 60mph train, and an avalanche. You should see what I've walked away from without a scratch

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Old 24th November 2006, 09:45   #19
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Sometimes I do wonder if it matters. I used to ride bikes fast. I have a preference for V4 bikes like V65 Magna and Vmax. Vintage ones were a lot better.

With hypersonic travel not killing me or anybody else, the closest I ever came to buying the farm was in a hardware store. A pallet of plywood slipped loose, and slammed me into the wall. Luckily, the wall was softer than me, so I ended up standing in their office, rather fubar. There have been a couple of more minor incidents I've had proving that the human body is harder than interior walls or ceilings.... I was a roofer for a while and fell through more than one ceiling.

So are you gonna die in a spectacular fireball from taking some risks or are you gonna just bite it from shopping at the hardware store?.

You take major risks and almost die because of a bad pallet jack.... smashed like a bug by a ton of plywood...

But then, back then, sex was safe and motorcycles were dangerous.....

Sometimes it doesn't make sense. It isn't the riskiest things that I ever did that came close to offing me.

Last edited by rockouthippie; 24th November 2006 at 10:00.
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Old 24th November 2006, 09:59   #20
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I guess you have a point. I do a lot of climbing and whatnot, and I guess that I make the assumption that if I'm gonna go, it will be some spectacular fall or something. Yet the closest I've come to meeting my maker was with a simple fall - slipped backwards and drove a 3 inch nail through my skull, puncturing an artery in the process. Damn near bled out completely. Not exactly the spectacular death I had anticipated.

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Old 24th November 2006, 10:11   #21
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A guy I used to work with roofing. Roofing isn't real dangerous... Ya fall off or through the ceiling of a house once in a while... usually you don't get hurt. I never did. But dude hit a rose bush when he fell, it wen't right through him.

It didn't kill him, but real close. Who would figure a 3 ft rose bush would kill you?.

I've fallen a couple floors and hit pavement. That just knocks the wind out of you, and some scrapes. Falling on dirt usually just makes you dirty. Hit a little rose bush......and it's a whole different ball game..

I never saw anybody get hurt bad doing roofing except this guy... weird.... That's kind of the same thing as you and the nail. If it hadn't been for the nail, you probably wouldn't have been hurt at all.....

Pallet jacks... a rose bush... an errant nail?. Maybe we should go hang-gliding?.
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Old 24th November 2006, 19:18   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Omega X
Damn, either you are completely reckless or just plain unlucky.
When I read Ethan's post, I thought of this guy:



I know a couple of guys in their late 40s who continue to race motorcross and engage in full-contact football only to wind up getting injured again and again. Yep, they have families depending on them.
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Old 24th November 2006, 20:11   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by ethan_h
Primarily reckless (I think I've gotten a bit more careful in recent years), with a dash of unlucky thrown in for good measure.
I told people you got those scars from Dueling!



* * If we're "Twins Separated At Birth I hafta' rearrange my thoughts!
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Old 25th November 2006, 03:19   #24
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I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed over the summer, so does that count as one overall cut or four separate cuts?
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Old 25th November 2006, 03:57   #25
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i have a few thousand cuts in my mouth every time i brush my teeth.. does that count?
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Old 25th November 2006, 16:40   #26
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The only one I've had was a stitch job on my right palm a couple years ago when I was maybe 12 (Step-mom gave me a glass bottle of Coke, the laces on my boots caught onto my lace holders, I tripped and got a chunk of glass shard in my hand), but in that case, I had already cut myself for the docs...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 25th November 2006, 17:39   #27
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lets see...

at the age of five i got two of my toes sewed on after they were sedated.
at age of 8 i crushed my left arm near the wrist from falling of the couch (well the tall end of the couch).

since that i have had only injurys on the surface of my body like getting stabbed into the hand or getting removed about 15 squareinces of skin in a motorcycling accident.

oversized e-penis replacement
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Old 25th November 2006, 19:21   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by razzinno
I know a couple of guys in their late 40s who continue to race motorcross and engage in full-contact football only to wind up getting injured again and again. Yep, they have families depending on them.
Maybe you could wipe my chin, or pull out my rocking chair for me.
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Old 26th November 2006, 07:29   #29
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Most of the time it was me getting hurt and the ER fixing, without having to do much additional cutting. Nothing big, just an occasional broken bone and/or stitches.

As for scars from the stitches, I have one faint one under my chin from a childhood bicycle wreck, a big one on my knee from slipping on ice running out to my car to go out with a gal that had just agreed to let me take her out(knee was sliced open by a sharp piece of gravel that was being held in place by the ice), and a 7 inch one up my hamstring from running into a tree while trying to catch a football (the tree branch broke and sliced my skin). That's all - nothing real life threatening.

Most of the life-threatening things that have happened to me were lucky situations where I didn't get hurt at all.

4 wisdom teeth will come out soon - a lil late at 28 years old, but the dentist thought they had come in fine until recently.

The meds that I've been given for all that were always some sort of ************* with *********** (I may not have spelled those right). I didn't notice anything special about their effects - I'm told you'd have to take more than a usual dose to get any sort of high.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 16th January 2008, 20:51   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by Schmeet
Hurnia op. when I was about 10/11ish.
what type of hernia?

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Old 16th January 2008, 20:55   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by swingdjted
The meds that I've been given for all that were always some sort of ************* with *********** (I may not have spelled those right). I didn't notice anything special about their effects - I'm told you'd have to take more than a usual dose to get any sort of high.
You are wrong about that LOL...they must have given you whimpy doses if in fact it was ***********. Following my hernia surgery, they gave me vicodins (10 mg ***********, 500 mg acetominophen) (2 every 3-6 hours). And let me tell you I was HELLA out of it...I'd randomly start laughing uncontrollably for like a half hour.

Later on I was prescribed ********s (oxycodone), and that put me hella out of it as well. I mean everything was happy and I'd just laugh at random stuff and just feel really happy and carefree.

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Old 16th January 2008, 21:18   #32
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I've had too many broken bones, skull fractures, and other various surgeries in my lifetime to even begin listing. But I will say this...

Last year I had both my appendix and tonsils replaced (supplied by a deceased organ donor) because I missed them and wanted them back!

Don't email or PM me concerning Winamp. Instead, either start a NEW TOPIC or post a REPLY in the appropriate thread in these forums. This will also benefit others who may have a similar question or problem. But before posting, please first Search the forums and read all FAQs and all Sticky threads.

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Old 16th January 2008, 21:50   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nunzio390
I've had too many broken bones, skull fractures, and other various surgeries in my lifetime to even begin listing. But I will say this...

Last year I had both my appendix and tonsils replaced (supplied by a deceased organ donor) because I missed them and wanted them back!
rofl ftw

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