Old 6th April 2006, 09:10   #1
Bizznatch
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the best Essay ever written







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Old 6th April 2006, 09:25   #2
zootm
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61%?!

The teacher doesn't seem to have a very thorough understanding of English ("page is to big!") anyway.

In the name of fun:
Quote:
It seems that most of the songs that you hear these days on the radio played by the disc-jockeys, apart from Rock-n-Roll and other childrens' records, tend to be motion-picture title-songs. Apparently producers feel that we will not attend their movies unless we have the titles well drilled into our heads in advance.

Of course, we don't go anyway, but at least this way they make back on the song some of what they've lost on the picture. With the rise of the motion-picture title-song, we've had such hits in the past few years as The Ten Commandments Mambo, Brothers Karamazov Cha-Cha, Incredible Shrinking Man, I Love You. I'm sure you're all familiar with these, but a few years ago a motion picture version appeared of Sophocles' immortal tragedy Oedipus Rex. This picture played only in the so-called art theaters, and it was not a financial success. And I maintain that the reason it was not a financial success...

<laughter>

(You're away ahead of me.) ...was, that it did not have a title tune, which the people could hum and which would make them actually eager to attend this particular play. So, I have attempted to supply this and here then is the prospective title song from Oedipus Rex.

From the Bible to the popular song,
There's one theme that we find right along.
Of all ideals they hail as good,
The most sublime is Motherhood.

There was a man, oh, who it seems,
Once carried this ideal to extremes.
He loved his mother and she loved him,
And yet his story is rather grim.

There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex.
You may have heard about his odd complex.
His name appears in Freud's index
'Cause he loved his mother.

His rivals used to say quite a bit,
That as a monarch he was most unfit.
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother.

Yes he loved his mother like no other.
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.
One thing on which you can depend is,
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is!

When he found what he had done,
He tore his eyes out one by one.
A tragic end to a loyal son
Who loved his mother.

So be sweet and kind to Mother,
Now and then have a chat.
Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat.
But maybe you had better let it go at that!

Or you may find yourself with a quite complex complex,
And you may end up like Oedipus.
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus,
Than end up like old Oedipus Rex.
The out-patients are out in force tonight, I see.

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Old 6th April 2006, 11:23   #3
Widdykats
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Bizz: That's brilliant!
And may be it's been around the net for awhile, but I've never seen it!
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Old 6th April 2006, 11:27   #4
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Funny.

powered by C₂H₅OH
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Old 6th April 2006, 15:47   #5
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fantastic... i love it..
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Old 6th April 2006, 16:09   #6
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Amazing... and that teacher has got to be kidding. He/she actually marked it "properly" (though it's fairly obvious it's a pretty shite teacher) taking it seriously. Evidently lacks a sense of humour.
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Old 6th April 2006, 16:29   #7
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Something tells me it's not legit. There's multiple reasons for automatic suspension in that paper.
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Old 6th April 2006, 16:31   #8
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I think the whole thing is the bit. The "corrections" are a riot!
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Old 6th April 2006, 16:35   #9
zootm
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Quote:
Originally posted by Phyltre
Something tells me it's not legit. There's multiple reasons for automatic suspension in that paper.
How so? I don't think we could get in serious trouble (beyond losing marks in the class etc.) for handing in ridiculous answers.

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Old 6th April 2006, 16:36   #10
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Too funny!

"Works Cited: Yahoo, Google, Tubgirl."



Quote:
Originally posted by zootm
The teacher doesn't seem to have a very thorough understanding of English ("page is to big!") anyway.
Maybe the teacher began a comparison (Page is to Long as ___ is to ___), but then got distracted by the rest of the paper. Or maybe started masturbating to the rest of the paper.

Quote:
Originally posted by Wolfgang
Amazing... and that teacher has got to be kidding. He/she actually marked it "properly" (though it's fairly obvious it's a pretty shite teacher) taking it seriously. Evidently lacks a sense of humour.
I agree. I'd have given a flat out "F" for the essay, rolled the kid back to 3rd grade to learn a bit more spelling and grammar, and had the student seek counseling to address possible emotional issues.

See? The teacher could have a sense of humor too!

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 6th April 2006, 18:43   #11
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Hey, there is no spoon!
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Old 6th April 2006, 19:01   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by zootm
How so? I don't think we could get in serious trouble (beyond losing marks in the class etc.) for handing in ridiculous answers.
Here, any threat (written or otherwise) usually leads to immediate suspulsion (notice my juxtaposition of suspension and expulsion! Cool yes?!). Joke or not--I've seen it happen. Him using the words "yes this is a written threat" would be a ticket out. Of course, we're talking kindergarten-12th grade.
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Old 6th April 2006, 19:09   #13
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Well A. I don't think it's real; just really funny
and 2. The "teacher" is the straight foil in this exercise. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
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Old 6th April 2006, 19:58   #14
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Just for curiosity, what did the teacher said after class?

Those who can do, do; those who can't do, teach.
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Old 6th April 2006, 21:15   #15
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great essay

you should read the attachment - it's a .txt file, so you should all be able to enjoy it.

If you haven't seen this in the past, it's quite funny. If you have seen this in the past, it's still good.
Attached Files
File Type: txt admissions paper.txt (3.2 KB, 396 views)

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 6th April 2006, 21:19   #16
ScorLibran
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Quote:
Originally posted by Widdykats
I don't think it's real; just really funny
If it's not real then it's a very good example of what's been turned in by students before. I've seen much worse, myself.

Therefore no one would have to make this up from scratch...just grab a real copy of such a thing and upload it.


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Old 6th April 2006, 22:51   #17
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Maybe I should find one of my joke papers and upload it for the intraweb. A five page research paper on watching the grass grow? Oh yes...
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Old 6th April 2006, 23:00   #18
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/looks forward to reading 5 pages worth on the forum.


NOT!
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Old 7th April 2006, 03:11   #19
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I wouldn't be surprised if that was really turned in by somebody, but I doubt the teacher would bother to go through the effort of correcting it in that much detail, and I definately doubt any literature teacher would get to/too wrong. Also, the handwriting seems more like that of a student than that of a teacher (teachers write much less legibly, but in straighter lines )
Still, hilarious stuff, both the paper and the comments.


Who is the milkman? What is the purpose of the goggles?
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Old 7th April 2006, 13:00   #20
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The handwriting was better than that of a doctor.
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Old 7th April 2006, 18:49   #21
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Oh What a written.
you think this is funny?
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Old 28th October 2009, 00:16   #22
swingdjted
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Spambump that got deleted? (I got an email saying this thread was bumped.)

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 7th November 2009, 05:52   #23
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wat
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