Old 7th December 2003, 00:08   #1
ShyShy
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New Alcohol Warnings!

Alcohol Warning!!

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.



Hehehehe, seen the last one quite a few times here
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Old 7th December 2003, 00:22   #2
indicavia
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lol
and yet ppl continue to drink.. ppl are strange..
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Old 7th December 2003, 00:29   #3
fwgx
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Alcahol may make you cool. Which it does.

.: fwgx.co.uk.:.My art:.

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Old 7th December 2003, 00:32   #4
indicavia
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Quote:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
yeah, real cool...
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Old 7th December 2003, 00:55   #5
Bazman63
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Shy Shy....The storey of my life in a nutshell LOL.

'In this country, it takes all the running you can do to stay in one place.'"
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Old 7th December 2003, 01:24   #6
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If you're all drunk out of your brain then what's the problem.

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Old 7th December 2003, 01:35   #7
I_Zombie
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Good one shy. Keep 'em comin

Zombie
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Old 7th December 2003, 02:47   #8
amano
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Shyshy, I feel caught.

DAmn *amano stays at home, although saturday night *

eeeee eeeeeee eeeee eeeee eeeee
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88
8eee8 8e 8 8 8eee8 8e 8 8 8
88 8 88 8 8 88 8 88 8 8 8
88 8 88 8 8 88 8 88 8 8eee8
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Old 7th December 2003, 03:41   #9
Loveless
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I'll take a little bit of 1, 3 and 8 please. (God knows how much money I've lost in bras and panties this year! )

e#11 I can live without.

Do I detect a pattern? If so, I'm real good at spyrographing. Especially when I'm drunked.

WOT NO FANNY PACKS? (. .)
----------------------w-O-w-----------
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Old 7th December 2003, 04:55   #10
Fickle
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I've experienced all but a few of those. I was never pregnant, and I don't wear a bra or panties.
There are some fucked up stories that come about with the phone calls. Esp since I just call everybody in my phonebook and accidentally insult them at 2 am.
Or call up chicks that keep dodging you and calling them "cockteasers." That one really wins thier hearts!

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Old 7th December 2003, 04:56   #11
ShyShy
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Quote:
Originally posted by Loveless
Do I detect a pattern?


Hehehehe, nope Just some links I got from an email I got
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Old 7th December 2003, 05:10   #12
apola_anamisha
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Is it your newest hobby shyshy? Alcohol.......getting drunk......blah blah blah

All pop music is good music but all good music isn't pop music
Wanna know more about pop music or my boy-bands?
Westlife / Backstreet Boys / Savage Garden / NSync / Michael Learns to Rock
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Old 7th December 2003, 05:13   #13
DragonSon
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Alcohol has been my friend, and my enemie at the same time on MANY occasions...
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Old 7th December 2003, 09:06   #14
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=P

I wonder what I am like when i am drunk. Doesn't matter can't remember it anyways...
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Old 7th December 2003, 09:41   #15
marvinbarcelona
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As someone is allergic to alcohol and therefore cannot drink, I can recommend staying sober and going out on a Saturday night.....you will never want to drink again.

It's been said that I could start an arguement in an empty room.....I see no reason to disbelieve this.
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Old 7th December 2003, 09:54   #16
whiteflip
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The world would be a much better place if everyone got drunk at the same time. More fun at least

I'm Back?
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Old 7th December 2003, 12:01   #17
pixiefied
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isent it funny when really old,ugly woman(ok,like 53) try to dress sexy(gravity) and try to pick up young men? i was at the bar tonight and we just sit and watch all the drunks. old woman in tight silver pants with their guts hanging out and a really tight tank top. im sorry but no bra can defeat the gravity that has taken hold of her. she's drunk and trying to pick up on nick(26) a friend of mine. ewwwwwww

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
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Old 7th December 2003, 16:13   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by apola_anamisha
Is it your newest hobby shyshy? Alcohol.......getting drunk......blah blah blah
What you need apola is 10 pints of cider.

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Old 7th December 2003, 16:17   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by marvinbarcelona
As someone is allergic to alcohol and therefore cannot drink, I can recommend staying sober and going out on a Saturday night.....you will never want to drink again.
I completely agree.

-- Michael
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Old 7th December 2003, 16:24   #20
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Alcohol is an enemy of mankind. We shouldn't be afraid of our enemies, nor should we mind the quantity...

How do they call the Big Mac? Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac! LE BIG MAC?!

Vincent & Jules in Pulp Fiction
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Old 7th December 2003, 16:33   #21
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Alcohol is your friend.

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Old 7th December 2003, 17:26   #22
ShyShy
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Alcohol in moderation folks, in moderation.
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Old 7th December 2003, 17:55   #23
Vie
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Warning: Alcohol made the American governmental system.
Warning: wine brewers dont wash there feet.
Warning: Bear contains harmful chemists.
Warning: Alcohol reduces your sexual potential/Verility.

Member most in need of SpellCheck Lifetime Achievement Award

I'm a Twitch Streamer these days, it's weird.
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Old 7th December 2003, 18:31   #24
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You speak of minor drawbacks Vie.

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Old 7th December 2003, 18:47   #25
Vie
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Warning: Alcohol can make you pay maturnaty payments

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Old 7th December 2003, 20:25   #26
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Now that is serious.

Bummer...

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Old 7th December 2003, 21:20   #27
ertmann|CPH
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i once saw a video on me taken on new years eve, totaly bacardi!...... damn, that was not a pretty sight.
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Old 8th December 2003, 03:58   #28
Fickle
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vie
Warning: Alcohol made the American governmental system.
Warning: wine brewers dont wash there feet.
Warning: Bear contains harmful chemists.
Warning: Alcohol reduces your sexual potential/Verility.
Warning: Attempting to comprehend the above spelling may cause brain fart.

Go read a book without pictures
pabook? | Look, a blog! | Buy Stuff I Wrote
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Old 8th December 2003, 04:06   #29
Daxie
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Ah..alcohol..the essence of life!!

when i die, bury me face down so the world can kiss my ass
I support the "rap battles" thread.
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Old 8th December 2003, 04:22   #30
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Re: New Alcohol Warnings!

Quote:
Originally posted by ShyShy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
sadly, all too true
and i've got a shiner to prove it
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Old 8th December 2003, 04:29   #31
psyfive
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vie
Warning: Bear contains harmful chemists.
I never knew they put chemists in my bear...

I think you mean:
Warning: Beer contains harmful chemicals.
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Old 8th December 2003, 13:15   #32
Vie
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Quote:
Originally posted by psyfive
I never knew they put chemists in my bear...

I think you mean:
Warning: Beer contains harmful chemicals.
Nah, I ment chemists.

I was just bored at the time

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Old 8th December 2003, 13:59   #33
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last one reminds me of andrew
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Old 8th December 2003, 17:56   #34
Vie
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Sounds more like me actualy, andrew is rarly cohearent enought when drunk to find the keybord.

I can find it, I just need to be told wich way up it is.

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Old 8th December 2003, 18:25   #35
missyob
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The above is why I dont drink anymore. That and the hangovers are so terrible!

I am crazy enough without alcohol

Big Hugs,
Missy
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Old 8th December 2003, 18:29   #36
Vie
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Way to avoid hangover:

1, add 1 teaspoon of sugar to every half pint of alcoholic beverage
2, top up with pleanty of water

How this works:

The sugar helps keep your glucose level up and the Water prevents the desicating action of the alcohol.

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Old 8th December 2003, 18:30   #37
missyob
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vie
Way to avoid hangover:

1, add 1 teaspoon of sugar to every half pint of alcoholic beverage
2, top up with pleanty of water

How this works:

The sugar helps keep your glucose level up and the Water prevents the desicating action of the alcohol.
Thanks Vie!

Maybe your advice will get me drinking again!

~ Missy
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Old 8th December 2003, 18:31   #38
Vie
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Erm, Thats from MY memory, so dont take it as gospel.

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Old 9th December 2003, 15:33   #39
whiteflip
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Never had a hangover! WooHoo! Go Irish/German genes allright. Plus my asian genes make me a light weight so its easier for me to get drunk. I love myself .

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Old 9th December 2003, 15:37   #40
ShyShy
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Quote:
Originally posted by whiteflip
Plus my asian genes make me a light weight so its easier for me to get drunk.

Makes me a cheap date! Two Long Islands, just two Long Islands
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