Old 13th March 2007, 02:43   #1
Wildrose-Wally
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Newfie joke

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander were sitting in a bar in
Toronto. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home."

In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out
of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth
drink for you."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion,
the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Newfie. "Back home in St. Jahn's dere's the
Codfish Bar. The moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink,
then another - all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough
drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie's claims, but he
swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious. "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me meself, personally, no," admitted the Newfie. "But it did happen to me
sister quite a few times."
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Old 13th March 2007, 03:21   #2
mikm
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Nice. I got a rofls or two out of that.

powered by C₂H₅OH
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Old 13th March 2007, 03:25   #3
ujay
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Reminds me of an old song called "Nine Times a Night", with a similar twist at the end.

UJ
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Old 16th May 2007, 00:46   #4
webthing
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What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
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Old 16th May 2007, 02:25   #5
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Well hung. Bad and old too...
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Old 16th May 2007, 14:15   #6
hgnis
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You know, the Scott could have gotten the same treatment if he wanted it so badly. He'd just have to wear a skirt to. Oh wait...

I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick.
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Old 16th May 2007, 15:38   #7
shakey_snake
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how does the dog talk?


elevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladylevitateme
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Old 18th May 2007, 05:33   #8
xhilaration
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oh my god LoL, me sister knows then I do lol

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Old 18th May 2007, 16:03   #9
Widdykats
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I'm so confused!
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Old 18th May 2007, 16:16   #10
rockouthippie
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The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Do Not Use Computers...

20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
15. Fire hydrant icon is very frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www . pethouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Do Not Use Computers...

1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.*

A dog followed his boy to school and as the door slammed keeping him out, God appeared. He patted the dog on the head and said "Don't worry boy, they won't let me in either".
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Old 18th May 2007, 16:24   #11
Widdykats
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^


I liked the top twenty!
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Old 18th May 2007, 16:44   #12
rockouthippie
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[img]http://retrovision*****wp-content/uploads/rip.jpg[/img]
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Old 19th May 2007, 15:48   #13
Widdykats
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA!



I'm a sucker for wuppy humour!
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Old 22nd May 2007, 21:24   #14
mark
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Re: Newfie joke

Quote:
Originally posted by Wildrose-Wally
A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander were sitting in a bar in
Toronto. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home."

In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out
of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth
drink for you."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion,
the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Newfie. "Back home in St. Jahn's dere's the
Codfish Bar. The moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink,
then another - all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough
drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie's claims, but he
swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious. "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me meself, personally, no," admitted the Newfie. "But it did happen to me
sister quite a few times."
I object to the lack of irishmen
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