Old 4th August 2006, 05:43   #1
Phyltre
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Amazon selling...milk?

This one's good for a few minutes of comedy. Amazon.com has started selling milk, and this has sparked an endless supply of hilarious product reviews. My favorites:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk.
However little known the feelings or views, or lactose intolerance of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful owner of some one or other of their gallons of Tuscan Whole Milk."

"At first I was struck with despair when my cat got into my gallon of Tuscan whole milk, but what was once consternation quickly turned to joy as seconds later my cat became Halle Berry dressed in a black leather cat outfit. I cannot thank the creators of Tuscan whole milk and Gristedes Supermarkets of New York for the limitless pleasure which ensued."
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Old 4th August 2006, 05:49   #2
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milk = good

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Old 4th August 2006, 06:06   #3
shakey_snake
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But, I want 2%.


elevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladylevitateme
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Old 4th August 2006, 08:36   #4
MStar
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http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...019848?ie=UTF8

Complete with its own low-fat comments.

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Old 4th August 2006, 16:45   #5
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"... dared to go where no man had gone before. In Iceland, they called him Hoppipolla Glosoli, which roughly translates to, "Man Who Stands Erect and Dares Forward." Old Sanskrit fables depict the man in question as a mighty warrior with a sensitive spot for whole grain diets and monogomy.

But to us, the laymen, he is simply the man who first tried the product known as milk. Sure, we can argue about 2% versus whole milk. Tuscan versus Borden's. But what would Hoppipolla Glosoli say? Here is a man who pointed at a cow and said, "See that four-legged creature there? I'm going to go underneath it and suck on one of those long things hanging down until something comes out." Like many endeavors, time and patience was key and in truth, a necessity. After nine cows, Hoppipolla Glosoli came across a discovery that would change the face of mankind forever. He was experimenting with the wrong gender."
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Old 4th August 2006, 17:21   #6
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I purchased a bottle of Ephedrine from Amazon a couple of months ago even though it's illegal to sell in the U.S.

Oddly, it's not available anymore
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Old 4th August 2006, 21:43   #7
Jay
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Quote:
Note: Gift-wrapping is not available for this item.
Well forget it!!!!
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Old 5th August 2006, 06:00   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by shakey_snake
But, I want 2%.
Why are you drinking 2% milk? Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

*blows a .45 ACP through the head*

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 5th August 2006, 08:16   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by MidnightViper88
Why are you drinking 2% milk? Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

*blows a .45 ACP through the head*
*shoots you again, repeatedly*
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