Old 10th December 2006, 18:39   #1
Triton4
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Smart Harry

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3r d grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."


Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...."
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Old 10th December 2006, 19:12   #2
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nice one! :P

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Old 10th December 2006, 20:36   #3
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Hahahaah AWESOME

Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.-*-If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0-*-Guess the band from pics game
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Old 10th December 2006, 22:46   #4
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Old 11th December 2006, 00:00   #5
deeder7001
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Nice.

There is no sig.
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Old 11th December 2006, 05:15   #6
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Proves how distorted our minds get as we grow up.

This is a sig of some nature.
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Old 11th December 2006, 07:02   #7
ScorLibran
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Re: Smart Harry



Quote:
Originally posted by Triton4
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."
That's my favorite one.
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Old 11th December 2006, 16:17   #8
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OMG that was damn lol (I'm speechless if ya can tell) lol

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Old 11th December 2006, 18:16   #9
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hehe.. old but always a good one

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Old 10th January 2007, 06:09   #10
Triton4
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Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest : "What have you done my child?"

Girl : "I called a man a son of a b****."

Priest : "Now why did you call him a son of a b**** my child?"

Girl : "Because he touched my hand."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son of a b**** my child."

Girl : "…but, but then he touched my breasts."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he caresses her breasts)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "Surely, that's no reason to call him a son of a b**** my child."

Girl : "…but, but then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a b****."

Girl : "…but, but then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest : "Like thisss?" (as he sticks his you know what into her you know where)

Girl : "OH YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

(after a few minutes)

Priest : "…but that's no reason to call him a son of a b****."

Girl : "…but, but father, he had AIDS!"

Priest : "DAMN THAT SON OF A B****!!!"
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Old 10th January 2007, 19:58   #11
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smart harry

Triton4's... bad.. funny.. but bad
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Old 11th January 2007, 07:00   #12
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Both jokes kinda old but still fun to read. Thanks for posting

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 13th January 2007, 05:41   #13
Triton4
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I shoulda put a warning for the second one: not for the sensitive minded
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Old 13th January 2007, 15:30   #14
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Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."


I don't get that one.
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Old 13th January 2007, 15:45   #15
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When a dog breathes heavily with tongue out that is panting (present progressive tense), or in present tense pants.

A man steps into or puts on pants (trowsers) when getting dressed.

The expected answer to Ms. Brooks' question was 'shit'.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 13th January 2007, 16:01   #16
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Dogs pant (breathe hard) and men step into pants (clothes).

Edit: Bleh, me = slow

present day present time
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Old 14th January 2007, 01:11   #17
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Whoops. Bit dim of me. Cheers guys.
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Old 14th January 2007, 04:44   #18
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I didn't get it either but didn't want to look stupid

Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.-*-If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0-*-Guess the band from pics game
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