Old 7th June 2003, 00:54   #1
White Raven
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The Love Was A Lie

Well, I just found out today that all my emotions, all my feelings, everything I have was cruelly twisted around the finger of someone I thought I knew.

So, I thought that my "boyfriend" would be coming to drive up from Texas (Where he allegedly lives, I'm not so sure now) to here in Canada. Bit odd, but flattering, isn't it? To think you were worth the drive all that distance? To think that someone you'd fallen in love with would actually do that for you?

So anyways, I told my mom about it and she immediately became suspicious (Being my mom.) So anyways, we talked to the police, and after me being questioned for a while, the officer left to look up the name of my "boyfriend."

Well the officer called back today to tell me this...

The man I love does not exist.
The street name on which he 'lives' does not exist.
Nobody has ever heard of him.
His house does not exist.

There is no such street as 'Walnut street' in Alvarado, Texas. And since this is a name that doesn't exist, I don't mind saying it. Eric Seekon doesn't exist. After almost a year of knowing someone, and after several months of being in love with them, this is what I get? After he said he loved me, too? This is my thanks? An empty heart filled with nought but the blade of a sword of betrayal?

So, besides the feeling that now I AM destined to die alone and young in an apartment full of cats, and all the emotional scars that go with this, now the worst part of this sad tragic shitpace tale:

He knows where I live.
He knows my phone number.
He knows where I go to school.
He knows what I look like.

Hey, guess what. He can find me.
Try to picture this:

120 lb, 5 foot four (64 inches) girl
vs
200 lb. 6 foot one (Donno the inches) guy

HMMM. WHO IS GOING TO WIN?

However, this person did say he was good at disappearing, and is a cracker, so he may have been able to in effect erase himself from all records. But. Walnut street not existing? That seems too fishy to me.

Well, off to do some more crying now, be back soon...

(P.S. If he actually IS coming, he'll be here probably by tomorrow.)

/edit

Then, possibly even worse. I am still in love with the man that doesn't exist, Eric Seekon. Even after, my love still remains. Sick, sad, and pathetic, isn't it?
//edit

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Old 7th June 2003, 00:56   #2
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That is cruel Raven......

"Love is what you make of it, if you wish it to last for all time, then you must be willing to risk it all for the one you love."

- Sean T. Wiliams (1983 - )
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Old 7th June 2003, 01:00   #3
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Raven, please be very careful... i don't like the sound of this
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Old 7th June 2003, 01:06   #4
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must agree with Shy...
Don't trust easly...


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Old 7th June 2003, 01:10   #5
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I don't trust easily. I thought I knew him for a year. I knew what he looked like, I thought I knew is address, I still have a cell phone number, if that's real, and even an SSN number for christ's sake...

Don't worry, I am going to be safe. If he shows up here, I'm calling the cops.

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Old 7th June 2003, 01:11   #6
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If I were you, I would buy a gun.
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Old 7th June 2003, 01:14   #7
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you still love him ? so you were truly in love ... hearts don't ask if the partner deserves it or not ..
I know how you feel, but yes .. be careful
how have you been in contact ? do you have his number ?


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Old 7th June 2003, 01:40   #8
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Yeah. I did love him. I do love him. I still love the lie, and with my ripped and shredded heart that still beats, it's hoping to dear god he has a good explanation and that everything will be okay and that I can be safe again...

It seemed like the only time I was truly happy was when I was talking with him. Now, all that is just rudely taken away from me.

I have is SSN number (Assuming it's real)
His address (Which is no more since he left his house)
His cell number (If it's real)

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Old 7th June 2003, 02:15   #9
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i am wondering why he gave you a soc.sec. number....weridness. what i would do is go back to the police, and ask them to, for the next 2 or 3 days, kinda patrol your house in undercover vehicles and watch for him. also, tell your neighbors, and friends and anyone you know or kinda know to call the police if anyone unfamiliar and/or suspicious shows up, and esp if said person asks about you. Thirdly, give ME your address, i'll come protect you
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Old 7th June 2003, 02:18   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by dlinkwit27
i am wondering why he gave you a soc.sec. number....weridness. what i would do is go back to the police, and ask them to, for the next 2 or 3 days, kinda patrol your house in undercover vehicles and watch for him. also, tell your neighbors, and friends and anyone you know or kinda know to call the police if anyone unfamiliar and/or suspicious shows up, and esp if said person asks about you. Thirdly, give ME your address, i'll come protect you
Already done it, the social security number is probably a fake, and I wish I could, but you're too far away, and besides, you have a girlfriend, haha. If there's one thing I learned from this it's that I am not meant to find love, nobody is meant to love me back, that I'm stupid and fun to manipulate, and to become a social outcast, except on these forums.
So I'm kind of obligated not to give you my address.

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Old 7th June 2003, 02:21   #11
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You have his ssn? Do a search on it. See what that gives you (if anything). <--- EDIT Sorry, was writing this when you wrote your last post I'm sure if the name doesn't exist than the ssn isn't real or his, but doing a check on it wouldn't hurt. Watch for suspicious vehicles/people (depending on the neighborhood, this could be difficult). Don't trust anyone who comes up to you who you don't know. That's some scary shit. I'm sure the police in the area wouldn't mind doing patrols so you should definitely request that, at least for a few nights. Even more importantly, tell your mother or a close friend where you are going exactly or where you are going to be at certain times, for the next couple of days.
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Old 7th June 2003, 02:28   #12
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and i don't mean to be a pessimist, take a picture of yourself asap. poloride, something, make sure that you have a recent picture of yourself, just in case.p also, make sure that at leat 2 people know what you are wearing at all times. it sounds weird, but ina worst case scenerio, it could mean all the dirrerence.
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Old 7th June 2003, 02:28   #13
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you should listen to your heart raven ...
maybe you can call him on the cell ?


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Old 7th June 2003, 02:30   #14
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Be very careful....this sounds way too fishy, especially the part about giving out his SSN, since it's supposed to be you're only chance at work and tied to all your records, thus if you were the crook, could turn his life to shit with a real SSN.

If you have a picture, memorize his face, maybe give it out to ppl you know, but only his face, since his hair can always change style, colour, etc.

If the cell is real (have you phoned it?) go to the police and have them trace it for you (via contacting the carrier and obtaining his address, though I believe this needs a warrant, so they may not do it for you), though it's probably fake.

"Welcome to the Island of people who know too much."..."Did you really think balloons would stop him?!"
See what I'm listening too.
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Old 7th June 2003, 02:31   #15
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what was the area code he gave for the cell phone? that can at leat narrow his location down somewhat, assuming it is real
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Old 7th June 2003, 02:35   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by White Raven
Already done it, the social security number is probably a fake, and I wish I could, but you're too far away, and besides, you have a girlfriend, haha. If there's one thing I learned from this it's that I am not meant to find love, nobody is meant to love me back, that I'm stupid and fun to manipulate, and to become a social outcast, except on these forums.
So I'm kind of obligated not to give you my address.
Raven I'm sure that there is someone out there for you.... I myself am well....... let's just say that I have no one....... other than family....... stop being so hard on yourself..........it doesn't help.

"Love is what you make of it, if you wish it to last for all time, then you must be willing to risk it all for the one you love."

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Old 7th June 2003, 02:39   #17
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/me is a genious!

what did he use to talk to you with? AIM, msn? yahoo? e-mail? one way or the other, there has to be an IP trail at least, if he uses AOL, then they have info abou tthim, but there is defidnlty an IP trail of him i bet, in teh company logs....
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Old 7th June 2003, 02:40   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by dlinkwit27
and i don't mean to be a pessimist, take a picture of yourself asap. poloride, something, make sure that you have a recent picture of yourself, just in case.p also, make sure that at leat 2 people know what you are wearing at all times. it sounds weird, but ina worst case scenerio, it could mean all the dirrerence.
come on get back to earth. we are not in a b-movie, ok ?


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Old 7th June 2003, 02:42   #19
White Raven
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First three digits are:
1-817
(1 is used for both US and Canada, all North America in general)

I want so much to listen to my heart, I miss him, I miss him so badly, but I was told also to listen to my head and consider the evidence as well. He gave me his SSN as a sign of his complete trust in me. (Assuming it's real.)

I want to trust him too, but it makes it very hard to when the Victoria police called the Alvarado ones, ran a search and he turns up nowhere. No license plate record, driver's license, anything/ I know he's a cracker, he said he can disappear but... Can he do that?

I'm just scared, that's all, and I...

I miss my Lie.

My eyes hurt from crying for 2 days, my Mom wouldn't let me be with him een if he WAS legit because he's 20... So...

/edit

Dlink, the man is a cracker, he doesn't have an IP. He talked to me mainly through MSN, phone, and email.

//edit

I... just... I miss my Lie.

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Old 7th June 2003, 02:42   #20
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no seriously, shit like that helps. you have no idea how many kids lose their kids and have no idea what they lok like. I work at a concession stand, and we have mothers come up "i can't find my kid" (99% of the time they were playing on teh playgound, and took it upon themselfs to go to the bathroom then back to the palygorund, missing mommy on the way back somehow) and when we ask for what teh kid looks like, also 99% of the time they whip out a baby pciture, and haev no idea what the kid is wearing. "about this high, brown hair, blue eyes" doesn't really narrow anythign down. As cheesey as it soudns cyana, pictures and knwoing what she is wearing WILL help, I know from experience.
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Old 7th June 2003, 02:51   #21
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Poppy, raven is scared enough, ok ?
yes we all wanna try to help, but first lets calm down and look what facts actually are there. and don't forget she loves him and so please also respect her feelings .. ok ?


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Old 7th June 2003, 02:53   #22
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raven, can you contact him somehow ?


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Old 7th June 2003, 02:56   #23
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I wish I could but I'm not allowed... He's allegedly on the road here right now, I don't even know if he's got his cell or not, and maybe the number's fake, I don't know... I could try phoning him later... I only hope he has a good excuse for this...

All this crying cannot be healthy...

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Old 7th June 2003, 03:01   #24
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good reasons or not - in situations like this you should listen to your heart raven. it will tell you the right thing to do, believe me ... maybe someone you trust can contact him for you ?


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Old 7th June 2003, 04:21   #25
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cyana, es i know she is scared at it is, and white, perhaps it woudl be best if you arranged to stay at a friends for a few days, but i would rather her be prepared for the worst than not. The only way to prepare or it, is to think about it, and eraly, i want her to be prepared. White, why not head over to whomever's house you went to when you left home not too long ago.
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Old 7th June 2003, 04:22   #26
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I might do just that. In fact, within next week I might even go to my grandparent's in Ontario, they just started up their coffee shop again in Mt. Brydges and they need my help...

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Old 7th June 2003, 04:30   #27
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i think that would be a good idea, to go to yoru grandparent's Make sure you tell all your friends and whatnot that you are leaving, stop the nespaper and mail while you are gone, tell everyone to stay clear of your house. Have the police still patrol your neightboor/keep watch on your house, and arrest anyone that goes to your door for trespassing. If he does show up, he will be the only one who doesn't know to not go to your door.
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Old 7th June 2003, 04:56   #28
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I've asked people at other foursm to pray and whatnot for yuo white raven. michael, an admin from hardwaregeeks.com sends you this
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Old 7th June 2003, 06:18   #29
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.did he ever give you a phone number(a real phone, not a cell phone) that works? the map program on my PC can get down to the about a 5-mile radius of where he lives on via a phone number.

edit, I overestimated the abilites of the program, has been corrected.
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Old 7th June 2003, 08:05   #30
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How creepy- I used to live on a Walnut Street... in California mind you.
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Old 7th June 2003, 09:57   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by White Raven
First three digits are:
1-817
Just so ya know, that corresponds with North Central Texas: http://www.prodial.com/codes1.html

Hm, just out of curiosity, how is it that you talked on the phone with him, and had his phone number, but never called him? Back when I was in love, I couldn't wait to call her during periods when we were in different parts of the world.
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Old 7th June 2003, 14:01   #32
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I'm so sorry, Raven! That lying sack of shit!! Hearts break, thank God they mend. Please be careful. Hey, Raven, crying is healthy!
If you don't cry, then you end up bitter and old before your time. Do you have friends and family with or near you? Please let us know!
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Old 8th June 2003, 03:37   #33
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Raven i really hope this guy does not do any more harm to you than he already has. Maybe it would be better if he just doesn't show up. I hope things somehow work out. And to cheer you up the Hardwaregeeks.com staff wanted me to post this for you.

http://ecardview.hallmark.com/hmk/We...&userID=031302

Click that link and i hope you feel better and be safe.

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Old 8th June 2003, 03:49   #34
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nice to have you chris thnx for the thought. white hasn't been on...i hope she is ok
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Old 8th June 2003, 03:54   #35
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Quote:
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nice to have you chris thnx for the thought. white hasn't been on...i hope she is ok
Yeah i really do hope she is ok. Hopefully she is safe and remains so untill she is sure this character won't be bothering her.
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Old 8th June 2003, 06:32   #36
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White, didn't you say that he used to be a member here but you couldn't tell us?

I came for the hatred.
I stayed for the ballbag.
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Old 8th June 2003, 09:52   #37
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and on a side note, the poor girl's life is reallly messed up right now.
I think it will be even more messed when she regrets having posted the matter here on the win-amp forums, rather then keeping it private between her friends.

I am guessing she will resent you for spamming her ordeal around a number of forums.

Having a disgustingly chipper net user soliciting prayer requests from around the net. How demeaning is that?

Trying to protect a young girl is a wonderful, beautiful, noble cause -- Did you pen that e-mail chain letter yet?

However, just because you have an internet connection doesn't mean you should throw out any sense of perspective and rationality.

Theres really not much you can do. Turning her into an internet meme can't do much to help her situation either. Where do we chip in to buy an ipod for White Raven?

She is responsible for her own safety. If the creep shows up at her place, then its up to the police to deal with.

Please delete your registry and reboot. Especially if your going to remain so blissfully ignorant when it comes to other's issues and feelings.

@White Raven. I hope you are safe, and the entire incident turns out to be much less then what you originally posted. (The creep does up not show up, and really isn't on his way to Canada.)

I had a similar experience happen to my little sister. Except in her case the creep did arrive.

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Old 8th June 2003, 11:18   #38
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weird I live real close to alvarado texas, about 30min drive away.
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Old 9th June 2003, 04:26   #39
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Truth Is Dead

Well, it's one day past the due date for him to arrive, and he hasn't shown up or phoned yet.

About the phone thing -- No he only ever gave me the cell phone number, and about the phone thing again, I talked to him via microphone not phone in particular...

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and suggestions, I am so glad that people care... I am so scared of if he shows up, I mean I suppose since he is a cracker he could have erased himself from the system... But the fact about the address he gave and used on his credit card being fake really makes me suspicious. (He bought me a CD and that is why I know about his (fake) address from the invoice)

Makes me feel sick to my stomach. I had all my emotions twisted around his finger, at his beck and call, I even would have given my body to him if he asked... Makes me afraid of myself in a way, afraid of the next time when I let my heart go out to someone...

I'm still feeling lost. My heart still wants to believe that there's been some terrible mistake and that my Eric is still the man I thought he was, the man I love.

It's like... I'm sitting in this middle of a waterfall crashing all around me, pounding me with the pressure of the water, but I can't see or even hear all the noise, just staring blankly at the pool before me, totally lost... Just standing there, helpless. I don't know, kind of a really weird emotional metaphor but it's how I feel.

Totally betrayed and used and tossed to the ground, and for what? It was the most beautiful time of my life, loving him, having a reason to come home. I still do love him, and I will until the day I die. I made a promise to him, both with my head and my heart. As I said, I will love the lie and the illusion forever. It's kind of a feeling like... He died. Or something akin to it, I'm not quite sure.

All I'm doing now is blasting Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You really loud in my head. It seems to basically sum up my emotions, except I don't hate him... I don't hate Eric, I hate the man behind the lie, the one that betrayed me.

The way I see it, I'm still in love with the man who lives on Walnut street in Alvarado, Texas. Even though he's just a shadow, a twisted dream and just one more shattered reality that still lives like an echo within my skull, I still am so deeply in love with him, it makes me feel sick almost.

I just feel so used, lost, betrayed and all the rest of it. How could he lie to me? What have I done to him? He told me things that I thought meant something to him... And so did I, I told him some of my most innermost thoughts... And so what, I did all that for nothing? I'm just supposed to sit back and say, 'Oh, he has some problems, he only did that to me because he's psycho or schizo or whatever.' Is that the deal? Because if it is, I just can't do that.

He told me he'd love me forever... He swore it was true, said that he'd protect me... Yeah. My ass, okay? MY FUCKING ASS. All those wonderful things he said, empty and hollow, cat's yowlings in the night. Useless. Meaningless.

Did I ask for something so wrong? All I wanted was someone to love me, yes, 'in that way.' Is that so shameful? I guess whatever I did, I did something so horrible that I must have deserved this. I wish I knew what it was. I guess all I have left now is just some sickening grief.

Look, I'll quit my whining, it's going to make me cry again.
If this was his idea of 'protecting me' whether for some twisted reason it be from himself, he was wrong. It would have hurt a lot less if he had just said to me, 'Fuck you, I don't love you, I never did, just leave me alone' instead of making this great big elaborate lie, to push me away in what he believed was a 'nice way.' If that's the way his mind works.

No, all I asked for was love and the truth. If you can't give me one or the other, then tell me and simply leave me then. I don't want money or things or jewelery or anything like that. Those things are nice, don't get me wrong, but not necessary to have me.

It's only not enough if you can't give me love or the truth. I wish he could have just told me flat out than make me hope and believe and then find out the sick truth myself.

Since I guess it doesn't matter now, yeah, he used to be here, and his username was trujavagod.

There, if you see this, then please, kill me like all the 'phuckers' you killed on the net before. Apparently, I mean nothing more to you than any of those other people, and you already DID 'fubar' me beyond all repair, so I don't personally care about my PC in that regard. All I care about on it really are my MP3 and my pictures.

Thank you for listening.

just as feathery as ever | portfolio | a poignant quote
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Old 9th June 2003, 04:32   #40
dlinkwit27
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im glad your still safe white raven. I've friends praying for you And if he was a member here, admin has IP logs somewhere, that can narrow it down. Also, supposeddly the alvarado town really exists. It is jsut south of fort worth i've heard

http://www.hardwaregeeks.com/board/s...threadid=10468
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