Old 18th February 2008, 17:43   #1
White Raven
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What Do You Do When You're Down?

Alright guys, I've had a terrible day so far and it's really only just beginning. It'll get better, of course, but what do you do in the meantime when it's all fresh, and you're so upset that you feel you really wouldn't mind all that much if you just sort of dropped off the face of the planet? We all feel this way sometimes, and we've all got different ways of handling it.

What's your solution?

Chicken soup or some other comfort food? If so, what?
Lolcats?
Masturbation?
Is there a particular album you listen to or a film you watch to cheer up?
Is there a place you go to?

What's your suggestion?

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Old 18th February 2008, 19:50   #2
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Some good music. Some of my favorite pieces of music:

Paul Oakenfold - Aeternal
Clint Mansell - Lux Aeterna
Halo 3 Soundtrack (oddly enough...) The Covenant - One Final Effort
Bugs - About You
Mazzy Star - Into Dust
Chopin - Nocturne in E-flat major, Opus 9 Number 2
The Lesser Birds of Paradise - Naomi, Are You Lonely
iiO - Rapture (Tastes So Sweet)
Radiohead - Street Spirit
Saul Williams - List Of Demands
Jesper Kyd - Ellen Dritter Gesang

You know how to use the PM function.

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Old 18th February 2008, 19:59   #3
kcoenich
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I eat something, then get some sleep... and start thinking why the hell that shit happened to me... ja ja
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Old 18th February 2008, 20:56   #4
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Quote:
Masturbation?
Good call.
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Old 18th February 2008, 21:12   #5
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If I get really down, or stressed out and overwhelmed, I go for a long walk. I don't avoid the problem, I just spend the whole walk thinking about the problem or situation. I'll first think about what makes it so horrible, then how I came to this point. Then I'll start thinking about what I can do to fix it, things to look forward too, and what I should do in the meantime until I get to greener hills.
I also consider what makes the greener hills greener. are my better plans in life just to escape my problems? or will they actually make me happy?
I walk as long as I need to, and after, I usually feel pretty good; with a good dose of confidence.

I then will come home, take a shower, eat something, then listen to music. day is done, and tomorrow is a new start.
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Old 18th February 2008, 22:29   #6
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I work more. Working, specifically doing something IT related is a way to relax for me. That, or reading a good book.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
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Old 18th February 2008, 22:40   #7
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I play guitar.
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Old 19th February 2008, 00:00   #8
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I play some relaxing music such as Michael Buble, Diana Krall or Norah Jones. Maybe not them specifically but you get the idea.

There is no sig.
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Old 19th February 2008, 00:15   #9
ryan
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Also. Warren Zevon makes me feel better.
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Old 19th February 2008, 01:37   #10
White Raven
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SSJ4, those songs are awesome and are certainly helping.
Also, fueling the creativity.

Myself, I'm finding a good, hot cup of Earl Grey tea and some Spyro 3 is doing the trick.
I wish I had the setup to do an LP for SA. :3

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Old 19th February 2008, 01:50   #11
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Beer. Lots of it. Has gotten me through, if not over, every break-up and screwed up relationship in the past 28 years...

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Old 19th February 2008, 05:34   #12
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Nothing works better for me than meditation. Sounds cheesy, yes. But the fact is your state of mind is always your choice. Nothing can *make* you feel down. Whenever you feel down, you've allowed events around you bring you there. I'm not saying that to be accusatory, and that doesn't mean you can just automatically go from very sad to very happy in the blink of an eye. It means that you always have the ability to control your feelings.

Without chocolate or caffeine or weed or anything else that would physiologically (and forcefully) change my mood, I can simply "think" myself happy. There's no good way to describe it - it's just going to sound dumb until you try it. The best part, though, is in mastering it. I've done so to the point that I never experience any mood that I can't change in less than 5 minutes anywhere, anytime. In fact, I can't remember the last time I was angry or sad for more than a short moment - it's been well over ten years.

Life's good every day because I decide that it is, and that gives me a better ability to change things around me that would have otherwise festered, waiting to bring me or someone else down again and again.

Decide you're happy, and then be it.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 19th February 2008, 06:19   #13
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Go for a drive and bring a camera.
(Also good to have: local beautiful landscapes)
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Old 19th February 2008, 06:31   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by skryingbreath
Go for a drive and bring some roofies.
(Also good to have: local beautiful women)
Fixed.
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Old 19th February 2008, 10:32   #15
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^ Warren Zevon..good call. Oh, I watch
Requiem For A Dream! I cook, also. I find cooking very relaxing and rewarding!
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Old 19th February 2008, 12:01   #16
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I play UT and frag some d00ds
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Old 19th February 2008, 12:27   #17
Bilbo Baggins
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PvP. Though sometimes that makes me worse.
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Old 19th February 2008, 14:28   #18
ryan
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Quote:
Originally posted by Widdykats
^ Warren Zevon..good call. Oh, I watch
Requiem For A Dream! I cook, also. I find cooking very relaxing and rewarding!
Ahooooooo! Best movie of all time.

That's two in one
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Old 19th February 2008, 14:31   #19
Widdykats
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Love Requiem...I kinda don't mind my depression
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Old 19th February 2008, 16:08   #20
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Expend copious amounts of ammunition. Preferably on reactive targets (hard drives, soda cans, plastic bottles, balloons filled with hydrogen, etc.)

I always feel better after chewing through a few hundred rounds, punching holes.

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Old 19th February 2008, 18:32   #21
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Hmm...I don't ever really feel "down", but when I'm not in the
best of mood, I take my frustration out on things or just vent it all out...

∙I throw on some metal music, for one thing
∙I also plink cans with my airsoft or BB gun, or shoot at squirrels with my BB gun (7 pumps and a pellet and I'm good for lunch, Oregon Trail style)
∙Playing Grand Theft Auto is also a great stress reliever for me as well, or in general, any shooter game, and even fighting games
∙A long hot shower is pretty relaxing
∙If I'm up for it, I would also get in my car and just drive around, either aimlessly, or to and from somewhere
∙If I'm up for this either, I would also go out to somewhere like the mall and just walk around
∙If it weren't so goddamn cold, I'd go for a bike ride
∙If I happen to be constipated, a forced time to sit is a good time to just think
∙Sleeping is also good, to take my conscious mind off things

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 19th February 2008, 22:48   #22
kcoenich
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Somebody mentioned a Drive...
excellent call, A long drive alone in the night is one of my favorite... jaja.
listening to some music at a high volume... That will get you relaxed...
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Old 19th February 2008, 23:26   #23
hgnis
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Sleep usually makes all right in the world.

I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick.
Realitybites
<3
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Old 19th February 2008, 23:32   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by ScorLibran
you always have the ability to control your feelings.
I respect the idea, but disagree. I can't control my feelings. Few can. I can, however, control my actions, which is what you seem to be asking us to help you with. This, in turn, can eventually make you feel better, which can in a sense reinforce what Scor was saying.

I try to keep in mind that the priority lies in what actions you can control in the present to build a better future, so that the lessons of the past can be used for the greater good. After handling a bad day well, you can look back and laugh about it, proud that you not only made it though, but used it to better yourself. Keep in mind that shit that you can't control is not your fault. If you're upset by a decision you made, then it's more understandable. What can you learn from it? What are you going to do?

(yeah, I know, I sound like some cheesy self-help book)

Above suggestions look good - be careful with the driving - I lost a friend and nearly a second because of going on a drive "to calm down" during a bad day. Beer is fine if you can keep it safe, blowing up people on video games can be fun; blasting music can be therapeutic too, but it would be even better to find something productive or meaningful to do. The arts are full of masterpieces created on a bad day - so Ryan's guitar bit does have a lot of merit. You could call/email/etc. someone you haven't been in contact with for a while, and just hearing their voice can cheer you up - serves more than one purpose.

I sometimes split my dad's firewood, go recycling bottles by throwing/smashing them as hard as I could into the steel recycle bin, or as krock said, work (in whatever field you work with, whether it be a job or hobby), reminding myself, that I'm not going to let the lousy past control me. I am sometimes my most productive when upset about something. It's all about harnessing the energy and putting it to use. It's the old "when life deals you lemons, make lemonade" routine, and it works.

Most people judge other people (and themselves), whether for good reason or not, by how they handle or react to shit that's thrown at them.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 20th February 2008, 01:50   #25
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You certainly can control your feelings; in fact, you're the only person in the world who can. And let me tell you, it's a wonderful ability to master. It's a feeling of freedom like no other, leaving you with more mental resources to deal with and resolve the actual issues in your life. It's simply a choice of whether to live at the whim of the events around you.

Rather than continually exercising the difficult task of controlling only your actions while your emotions continue to boil within you, controlling the conscious aspects of your emotions makes tempering your actions much easier, and often even effortless. For example, there's no risk of me lashing out at someone if I'm not angry, whereas if I am, the risk is ever present. Controlling the source is much more efficient than controlling the effect. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" is a saying that applies quite well.

You can trace the source of any anger to fear, which makes controlling fear the best goal with which to begin. Once you have sufficient control of fear, everything else in your life becomes considerably easier.
Quote:
Originally posted by swingdjted
Most people judge other people (and themselves), whether for good reason or not, by how they handle or react to shit that's thrown at them.
Quite true, which leads to the common human reaction to difficult scenarios of assigning responsibility to someone other than ourselves.

Cheers.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 20th February 2008, 08:20   #26
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i sleep it out. aint a fucking thing i can do about the day so i might as well go to bed early and hope tomorrow will be better(usually is).

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
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Old 20th February 2008, 13:39   #27
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Music soothes the soul.
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Old 20th February 2008, 14:50   #28
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I listen to power metal, that generally solves most of my problems
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Old 20th February 2008, 23:42   #29
swingdjted
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Controlling feelings is just a pretty way of saying "hiding" feelings, or as Freud would say stowing them away in the 'unconscious' where they are out of the way and build over time. Bad feelings are bad, so the person does their best to cover them up with better feelings. This can work for some people, likely Scor included. I say this, because some people can stow them away permanently without any future trouble. I'm just not one of those people.

The problem is, sometimes all this shit resurfaces. The person doesn't even always know it. They don't realize what's happening until it's either too late or until they take a minute to stop and think about it or talk to someone about it. Something small triggers it. When this happens, the person is still stuck finding a better resolution to the seemingly simple problem from so long ago.

That's why I try to accept and find meaning and/or usefulness to bad feelings. That also, by the way, is what they trained me when I earned my masters degree in counseling. People should welcome the bad feelings, maybe not as much as good feelings, but enough to find a healthy resolution to them so that they don't have unexpected baggage later. The bad feelings are signs of opportunity for improvement. They are motivation for a better life. If I stopped getting bad feelings, I would have little motivation to improve things.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 21st February 2008, 00:46   #30
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"Hiding" feelings is the recourse many people use to help control their actions. A respectable act in most cases, but when a person, either seperately or simultaneously, puts the responsibility of his/her feelings upon another (e.g., "they made me mad"), it becomes a commonly used cop out. One that's so common that it's considered normal and acceptable.

It's not surprising that the ability to actually change from one emotional state to another at will seems so foreign or difficult to grasp, because it's wholly unfamiliar to most people. There's nothing mystical or psychologically advanced about it. The method is very easy to implement, and is as effectiveness as the strength of one's will. That's one of the key differences between hiding feelings and changing them, in fact - the former takes very little willpower compared to the latter, which makes the difference quite obvious to detect. It's a practiced choice, nothing more, nothing less. And it's a much easier exercise than you would think once the action becomes routine.

If you still say it's "impossible" for you, then I accept that without judgment. Cheers.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 21st February 2008, 01:17   #31
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First I just want to say that feeling down or feeling blue is something most of us feel at times and we all have our own ways of dealing with it and pulling ourselves out of these phases. That said, I would like to point out that chronic clinical depression is very VERY different from a small bout of the blues. Depression is a real illness and requires therapy, at the very least, and sometimes medication. I'd hoped we had come far enough as a society to recognize this but sadly I encounter people everyday who just don't get it.
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Old 21st February 2008, 02:42   #32
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I think in this case, WR has probably recovered long before our discussion, since it was probably just a bad day, and it is now a couple days after the fact.

I tend to have trouble letting things go on this subject because I've been conditioned to focus on this kind of stuff, maybe more than I should.

WR, I hope by now you found something to make you feel better, if not, we'll fire some more suggestions at you.

e.g. get some friends to help you shoot multiple flamethrowers at the people that piss you off.

or I seem to remember a similar thread where someone wasn't having a good day and asked for a joke or two. There were several jokes posted.

http://forums.winamp.com/showthread.php?threadid=35994

there ya go.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 21st February 2008, 03:24   #33
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A guy was in a car wreck, and when he woke up the doctor said. "Son, I've got some good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?" The boy answered, "Well doc' give me the bad news first." The doctor looked at him and said, "Well we had to amputate your legs." After hearing this the boy looked down at his legs (or lack thereof) and then back at the doctor and said. "What the fuck could be good news then?"

Spoiler: "The guy next to you wants to buy your shoes."

</lame>
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Old 21st February 2008, 07:26   #34
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I was just missing someone. That was all. Thanks for all the suggestions, guys. :3

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Old 21st February 2008, 09:12   #35
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Take a picture of "said" person... Ok, now blow it up to life size...ok, ok...ya' still with me? Now dress it up in different outfits!
What?
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Old 21st February 2008, 20:11   #36
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I want to try that with a pic of one of my ex-girlfriends named Eva. Except instead of dressing it up in different outfits, I would mutilate it with different power tools.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.

Last edited by ScorLibran; 21st February 2008 at 20:50.
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Old 21st February 2008, 21:42   #37
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Can I come over and play darts first?

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 21st February 2008, 21:55   #38
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Of course. I was planning on starting with darts and kitchen knives, moving up to routers, grinders and band saws, and then finishing with incendiary explosives.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 21st February 2008, 22:45   #39
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Cathartic, isn't it?
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Old 22nd February 2008, 01:47   #40
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Indeed. Just imagining it does the trick, even.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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