Old 29th October 2005, 04:25   #1
MidnightViper88
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Give me a responce to "Where have you been?"

Although it does bring a good feeling that people (somewhat) care, I still get annoyed when my friends at school ask me "Where have you been?" apon my return after a few days' absence...Sure, I could be polite and tell them "I've been sick", but that's too honest...Deep-down inside, I'm just a sarcastic asshole...

Give me some suggestions on what I could answer back with; Something off-the-wall, random, sarcastic, whatever...Anything...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 29th October 2005, 04:49   #2
MStar
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I've been in the downtown core smoking crack cocaine while I have unprotected sex with disease ridden prostitutes.

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Old 29th October 2005, 05:06   #3
LuigiHann
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"Banging your Mom" usually works for me.


Who is the milkman? What is the purpose of the goggles?
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Old 29th October 2005, 05:24   #4
eheiney
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"I'm not at liberty to discuss that."


Uh... yeah, that's all I got for now.

Spiral out, my friend. You will find your way back to yourself, we all will.
I'll be waiting, and shall see you on the other side...
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Old 29th October 2005, 05:27   #5
deeder7001
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i was at home.

There is no sig.
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Old 29th October 2005, 05:33   #6
Huehuetenango
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where HAVEN"T i been?

or

really, can any of us really say we're anywhere, and if that's the case, how can we be anywhere else?
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Old 29th October 2005, 05:37   #7
protegechris
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"Masturbating."
"Finishing up my chemotherapy."
"None of your fucking business."
"Finding Jesus and finding the true meaning of life."
"I couldn't decide which shirt looked better."
"Nasty case of the crabs."
"I got hit by a car."
"Reincarnation."
"Mental Hospital."
"Was busy waking up with the king."

Say this one in a drunk manner.. "man lemme tell you, jesus parties so fuckin hard"

Those work. My teacher says I have to stop being rude, condescending, and should control my narcisisstic behavior more. Go Chris!

yeah, i'm back.
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Old 29th October 2005, 05:44   #8
eheiney
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"Oh, come on. Like you really give a shit?"
"The UFO."
"In a yellow submarine."
"Prying open my third eye."
"Jail."
"I overslept."

Spiral out, my friend. You will find your way back to yourself, we all will.
I'll be waiting, and shall see you on the other side...
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Old 29th October 2005, 06:04   #9
protegechris
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Glue it to your locker, when they ask where you've been, say "Can you keep a secret? K, come with me. Quick, make sure you aren't followed". Open your locker, point, and take close note of the face on the subject's face.

yeah, i'm back.
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Old 29th October 2005, 06:59   #10
S-uper_T-oast
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Well, it started out one fine day, as many a day often do, but it tunred sour rather fast as I developued a severe case CANADA-IDOUS. I found myself saying "eh" and watching hockey ritualisticly. After a short time though, I found the cure to be a rainbow from the third moon of david. Needless to say, since me annd David are such good freinds he lent me a rainbow from his third moon in his collection. To rap up this story before I begin to ramble, I was lost amidst fire filled snowglobes.
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Old 29th October 2005, 15:29   #11
hgnis
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How about just giving those jabronies the People's Eyebrow?

I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick.
Realitybites
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Old 29th October 2005, 16:16   #12
mrthchemp
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uh...swansea, cardiff, sheffield, coventry, newcastle, purley (nudge nudge), birmingham, bognor regis...the list goes on.

(substitute alternate place names as appropriate)
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Old 29th October 2005, 16:55   #13
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'shitting' (or a more polite verion of that word but I don't know any)

First, it's true, and it's also good for awful questions like 'What will you be doing this evening?'

I use it about every other day

Jesus loves you [yes, you] so much, he even died for you so that you will not need to die, but live forever
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Old 29th October 2005, 17:29   #14
fwgx
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Quote:
Originally posted by mrthchemp
cardiff
I live and work in Cardiff so I don't think that one will be a good excuse.

.: fwgx.co.uk.:.My art:.

"We think science is interesting and if you disagree, you can fuck off."
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Old 29th October 2005, 18:30   #15
Omit Name
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i was in a wonderful place where people dont ask stupid, common place, sincere-less questions that they actually dont care at all about.

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Old 29th October 2005, 19:45   #16
Michgelsen
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Quote:
Originally posted by denkensiefursich
"Jail."
I'd go for that one.
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Old 29th October 2005, 21:43   #17
NJK
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If i tell you where i have been the last few days, it also means i have to kill you after i told you, so do you really want to know?

Each Thursday a new show on Celtica Radio with Darkwave music.
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Old 29th October 2005, 22:26   #18
Naamloos
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"hell"
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Old 29th October 2005, 23:46   #19
CaptainNuss
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Just say that you work for a bank now and that you had to go on a business trip. Do that every few weeks, and be sure to let other people note how you're trying hard to make the job sound boring. Soon they'll suspect that you're actually working for the CIA trying to destroy SD-6 from the inside...

For extra fun, ask a friend of yours to deliver something (a big letter with lots of sheets of paper should work well here) to some warehouse (or similar location) at exactly 8:47pm. Tell him to be sure to turn his headlights off while he's approaching the warehouse.

[size=1]"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." - Richard Cook
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Old 30th October 2005, 14:50   #20
indicavia
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Looking nervous: "you can't prove anything!"
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Old 31st October 2005, 21:46   #21
MidnightViper88
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6th period (Last class of the day), and someone finally asked me where I've been (Only one the whole day)...

Quote:
Originally posted by denkensiefursich
"Jail."
I used that one...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 1st November 2005, 04:13   #22
eheiney
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w00t! Glad to be of assistance.

Spiral out, my friend. You will find your way back to yourself, we all will.
I'll be waiting, and shall see you on the other side...
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Old 1st November 2005, 22:04   #23
morgado
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just answer "Não te interessa" ... how can I explain the sound of this in english ... let me think ...

Non tche eeentereeessaaa

edit1: This means, in portuguese, "It's not your business"
edit2: I'm back :P

I Love You Ana Luiza
MSN
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