Old 25th December 2007, 22:56   #1
MidnightViper88
Made In The USA
(Forum King)
 
MidnightViper88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 502
Posts: 9,100
Send a message via AIM to MidnightViper88 Send a message via Yahoo to MidnightViper88
I sometimes hate being a guy

Having a non-accurized gun and pissing on the floor is one thing, but nothing pisses me off more than having pissed on my brand-new jeans two times this week...Women can't accidentally piss on their pants like this unless they accidentally forget to sit down beforehand...

Am I gonna have to tape an RIS, attach a laser sight, and manual aim, or something?

I wanna see a bukkake video where the guy completly misses his mark...

Damn, these things are both a blessing and a curse...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
MidnightViper88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2007, 01:21   #2
k_rock923
\m/
(Forum King)
 
k_rock923's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: /bin/bash
Posts: 7,850
Send a message via AIM to k_rock923
Too much eggnog?

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
k_rock923 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2007, 02:25   #3
MidnightViper88
Made In The USA
(Forum King)
 
MidnightViper88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 502
Posts: 9,100
Send a message via AIM to MidnightViper88 Send a message via Yahoo to MidnightViper88
I've been quite sober this Christmas; Unfortunatly no eggnog...I don't wanna get run over by a reindeer after pissing on my pants...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
MidnightViper88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th December 2007, 13:33   #4
ElChevelle
Moderator Alumni
 
ElChevelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: the MANCANNON!
Posts: 22,436
Do you have an uncontrollable bladder?
The cool thing about pissing oneself is that warm feeling.
Exactly like a hot tub only alot different.
ElChevelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th January 2008, 04:01   #5
ryan
not fucked, not quite.
(Forum King)
 
ryan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Tn
Posts: 8,798
Send a message via AIM to ryan
I could've swore that said; "I sometimes hate being a gay"

Damn.
ryan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th January 2008, 04:54   #6
Fickle
Butterknife of Justice
(Forum King)
 
Fickle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Behind you.
Posts: 5,502
The only time I pee on myself is those rare mornings after I'd spent four hours fornicating the girlfriend at the time.

Normally I have pretty good aim.

What, is yours set on "Spray" or something?

Go read a book without pictures
pabook? | Look, a blog! | Buy Stuff I Wrote
Fickle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th January 2008, 01:38   #7
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,990
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
open it a bit before you shoot

or just fucking sit down

in the morning when it's most likely to shoot sideways or split stream I always sit

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th January 2008, 02:57   #8
MidnightViper88
Made In The USA
(Forum King)
 
MidnightViper88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 502
Posts: 9,100
Send a message via AIM to MidnightViper88 Send a message via Yahoo to MidnightViper88
Quote:
Originally posted by swingdjted
or just fucking sit down
Why would any guy sit down to pee?

...unless, of course, that any guy was married to a Feminazi who straps a testicle lockbox on them when they're not taking a piss/shit...

Thank God that's not the case with me...Yet...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
MidnightViper88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th January 2008, 04:40   #9
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,990
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
Quote:
originally posted by MidnightViper88
Yet...
given time...




Anyway,





I have this 2 door, under-sink cabinet across the narrow walkway between the can and the sink...

Drop the pants,
sit your ass down,
open those cabinet doors slightly,
until you can fold your arms,
resting over them,
and set your head upon the folded arms,
close your eyes,
and take a short but very much needed nap,
as the piss flows freely like the water from a waterfall...
waking up as you squirt those last few drops,
then putting yourself together,
washing,
and rejoining the real world...

For those few seconds or even minutes,
no one bothers you,
you don't have to 'hold it',
you just rest and let it all go.

Yes, it's short,
but it's sacred.

Damn, I drank waaaay too much wine tonight...

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th January 2008, 03:50   #10
kcoenich
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Guatemala
Posts: 22
I really don´t know why are you complaining about... pissing "spaylike" aint nothing, compared to all the girl stuff they have to take... At least we don´t have to pay monthly with blood... understand??
kcoenich is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th January 2008, 05:16   #11
tuckerm
Forum Emo
 
tuckerm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8,365
Yeah...that wasn't creepy or anything.
tuckerm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th January 2008, 22:30   #12
kcoenich
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Guatemala
Posts: 22
just trying to put things in perspective here... jaja
kcoenich is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th January 2008, 01:21   #13
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,990
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
I think he might have been a little creeped out by my post too.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th January 2008, 20:37   #14
TheFluffyOne
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5
All I can say is which is totally IRRELEVANT to this thread or anyone's interest.

If I were a man.. I'd be one sexy faggot...

TOTALLY UNRELATED but needed to be placed hurr~
TheFluffyOne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th January 2008, 20:41   #15
k_rock923
\m/
(Forum King)
 
k_rock923's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: /bin/bash
Posts: 7,850
Send a message via AIM to k_rock923
You're a woman? Welcome to the forums.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
k_rock923 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th January 2008, 20:00   #16
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
i thought your post said " i sometimes hate being gay"

SAARRR!

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th January 2008, 22:55   #17
sgtfuzzbubble011
 
sgtfuzzbubble011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,837
I sometimes think I should've been...
sgtfuzzbubble011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2008, 02:57   #18
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
at least you can say your not a virgin!

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2008, 13:34   #19
sgtfuzzbubble011
 
sgtfuzzbubble011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,837
I might as well be one.
sgtfuzzbubble011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2008, 14:57   #20
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
well its been a loonnggg time for me..but you dont hear me complain!!! i find solutions!!!

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2008, 20:33   #21
sgtfuzzbubble011
 
sgtfuzzbubble011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,837
Well, you're just a better person.
sgtfuzzbubble011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2008, 22:13   #22
LuigiHann
Forum King
 
LuigiHann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: 80's Japan
Posts: 3,436
Send a message via AIM to LuigiHann
awkwaaaaaard


Who is the milkman? What is the purpose of the goggles?
LuigiHann is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2008, 22:50   #23
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
no i just know how to work the shower head to make it more "enjoyable". really.. you have two of the best sex mates you could have right at the end of your arms. i wouldnt complain.shit,they dont come with commitments and you dont have to "wooo" them for sex!

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 14:30   #24
sgtfuzzbubble011
 
sgtfuzzbubble011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,837
It's nowhere even close to the same.
sgtfuzzbubble011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 18:18   #25
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
so you gonna try going monk?

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 19:26   #26
sgtfuzzbubble011
 
sgtfuzzbubble011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,837
No. I'm a glutton for punishment.
sgtfuzzbubble011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 19:38   #27
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
we totally derailed this thread.

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 20:08   #28
sgtfuzzbubble011
 
sgtfuzzbubble011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,837
Not really. I sometimes still hate being a guy, too.
sgtfuzzbubble011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 20:30   #29
playforchrissy
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 9
women can do it too, just we don't talk about it
playforchrissy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 20:31   #30
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
ok. why do YOU hate about being a guy?

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 20:34   #31
k_rock923
\m/
(Forum King)
 
k_rock923's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: /bin/bash
Posts: 7,850
Send a message via AIM to k_rock923
Sarge! Snap out of it man! If you lived closer, I'd take you out for a couple of beers.

In all seriousness, well I don't think that I even have to say anything. You know what I would say.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
k_rock923 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 20:46   #32
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
no..what would you say? what do you hate about being a guy?

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 21:36   #33
k_rock923
\m/
(Forum King)
 
k_rock923's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: /bin/bash
Posts: 7,850
Send a message via AIM to k_rock923
To be blunt, it sounds like you're feeling sorry for yourself, sarge. I'm not going to pretend to have any idea what's going on in your life, but come on.


That being said, I hate being a guy because of all of the stereotypes that women around this school have about us. Aside from that, it's great.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
k_rock923 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 21:49   #34
pixiefied
Mother Trucker
 
pixiefied's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the forest
Posts: 3,520
Send a message via Yahoo to pixiefied
if your dont look and act the part..your nothing?

"Well, got to love you and leave you, need to go get into the shower and rub my hard naked body all over with soapy bubbles, I'll be back later to carry on playing....

It'll take you some time to get over the image of me naked in the shower......mind you don't masturbate to hard thinking about it...."
- Mr.Jones
pixiefied is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2008, 23:14   #35
k_rock923
\m/
(Forum King)
 
k_rock923's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: /bin/bash
Posts: 7,850
Send a message via AIM to k_rock923
Clarify your point, please. What I'm saying is that most women at the school I attend assume that guys here are interested only in sex and that we can be manipulated through it.

I'm interested first and foremost in a brain and too few people assume that I'm not. Even worse, there are people that refuse to talk to me because they think I'm after them for sex, rather than companionship. They have some kind of blanket distrust for any man that approaches them.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
k_rock923 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd February 2008, 04:05   #36
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,990
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
In school I was too busy banging on drums and breaking guitar strings. If I went after a gal and she treated me the way KR described, I'd hate it for about an hour or so, then realize I had no time or money for it anyway and go back to whatever else I had to take care of. I just didn't have as much a need/drive to be with someone I guess, although I did have a couple good gals that ppl set me up with from time to time - some lasted, some didn't. The gal I ended up keeping was someone that my room mate set me up with. I didn't even want a 'gf', and yet somehow I've since said 'I do' to her.

I guess the best way to meet a good gal in my opinion is to just network with everyone you can and learn as much about their friends as possible. That way you're not stuck in a dive counting the number of teeth on each gal and then hitting on the one with the most. Finding a friend of a friend of a friend (etc.) usually allows someone she trusts to speak highly of you before she even meets you, making you meet her when she's ready.

You've already got a few damn good things going - a pretty nice pad to live in, a solid job, and a good taste in media players. For what it's worth, my (quite attractive and fun-loving) sisters think the pics of you from the pic thread are pretty hot. It's a shame that one's married to a good guy and the other's dating a guy who I'd like to use to dent my steel-toed boots, but I digress.

Really though, find some guy like KR that will take you out for a beer and have him do some wing-man duties, and have fun with it. If that doesn't work, host a party or two - have people stop by with new people, etc. If you find someone interesting, come up with a reason to see her again, etc. etc.

Or just make yourself too damn busy to even realize you're even single... Although that only lasts so long.

Damn, I wish I were more local - I'd put together some parties and bring you and kr.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd February 2008, 18:50   #37
k_rock923
\m/
(Forum King)
 
k_rock923's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: /bin/bash
Posts: 7,850
Send a message via AIM to k_rock923
Quote:
Originally posted by swingdjted
Or just make yourself too damn busy to even realize you're even single... Although that only lasts so long.
Oh, it can last a pretty long time


I mostly agree with what you said, though. Sounds like pretty much the right approach.

It's kind of unfortunate, though. What seems to have happened here is that this school is so full of jerks that about 80% of the girls have decided to start liking that type of guy. The other 20% are approached by so many jerks that when someone interested in wine tasting and going to shows (what can I say? I live near the city and am a Broadway dork) comes around, they're preprogrammed to give a negative reaction.

Oh well. As you allude to, I have so much going on in school that I'm hardly looking right now, anyway.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
k_rock923 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd February 2008, 13:32   #38
ElChevelle
Moderator Alumni
 
ElChevelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: the MANCANNON!
Posts: 22,436
I save ALOT of money keeping my girlfriends handy......if you know what I mean
ElChevelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th February 2008, 05:28   #39
sgtfuzzbubble011
 
sgtfuzzbubble011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,837
Quote:
it sounds like you're feeling sorry for yourself, sarge.
No, I don't feel sorry for myself. Things are actually going quite well for me right now. The reason I'm saying the things that I am is because I'm not proud of a lot of things that I've said and done. I can actually say that I'm ashamed of some of them, and looking back, I can't believe how much of an asshole I was. I try not to dwell on the past, but it hurts knowing that I've hurt someone else. I've learned a lot, but being the typical guy that I am, I learned far too late (another reason why I sometimes hate being a guy). I'd like to think that I'm a much better person now, but I know I've still got a long way to go.


@ted:

I appreciate your thoughts and advice. I do actually go out and have fun with friends once in a while, but it's just that: having fun with friends. I'm not out to try to find people with the intentions of getting into a relationship. I don't plan on living down here much longer. I have a new life waiting for me up north. After I get my credit established, save up some more money, and fix up my truck, I'll be leaving here. I just hope I don't screw things up this time.
sgtfuzzbubble011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th February 2008, 22:46   #40
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,990
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
Just out of curiosity, where in the North are you looking? I've lived in PA and OH and thought they were ok, (PA better).

One thing that both states were really big on - if you have or are willing to get a CDL, jobs aren't very hard to find at all, with all the interstate intersections everywhere. Where there's a major interstate intersection, there are trucking companies within a couple miles that are constantly looking for people to work. Many will do the actual driving, some do distribution and dock work, some just taxi trailers all over huge yards/lots. Others race fork lifts through warehouses. Seems to me, every time I was looking for work for people, that's what I always saw in the newspapers.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Go Back   Winamp & Shoutcast Forums > Community Center > The Bitchlist

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump